30 Days
by Nocturnal Supremacy
Summary: Hidan proposes a bet to Kakuzu in hopes of weaseling away some of the ryo he has horded. To do this he chooses something he's positive Kazuku isn't capable of doing; getting a woman to fall in love with him. Mild Xover.
1. Chapter 1: Day Zero, A bet is made

**_Full title: How to make a woman fall in love with you in 30 days._**

* * *

The Rundown: Hidan (and a few other Akatsuki) propose a bet to Kakuzu in hopes of weaseling away some of the ryo he has horded. To do this they choose something they're positive Kazuku isn't capable of doing; getting a woman to fall in love with him. Not just any woman either, the clueless Akatsuki housekeeper. How far is Kakuzu willing to go for a few Ryo?

* * *

AN: Okay children! First of all there will be no Hidan X Kakuzu (not that I have a problem with that) the 'maid' has no special powers, she was not rescued by Kakuzu, she will not suddenly realize half-way through the story that she's someone's sister/cousin/aunt/miscellaneous relative…or some sort of powerful ninja…the story is what it is… It's just that I had often wondered who cooked/cleaned/mended etc. for the Akatsuki.

The 'maid' is HEAVILY based on (an exaggerated) Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket (So much so that I named her Tohru…I'm so original…I know)…actually this idea came to me while I was watching Fruits Basket and looking up stuff on the Akatsuki… you don't like her kind of character…don't read it. I didn't categorize this as a crossover even though the character is the same, because that's as far as it goes, there will be no other references to Fruits Basket. (SO NO SHE'S NOT SECRETLY PART OF THE ZODIAC!)

For Kakuzu's little 'guide' I borrowed a few of dares found in the book 'The Love Dare, bay by day'

Rated M: Hidan is of course involved…so naturally there will be cursing. Heavy lime and lemon will be added waaaaaaaaaaay down the line. I enjoy smut as much as the next fan-girl but they're not going to be jumping each other for a while….a long while… For those of you who don't like citrus I will write it in such a way that you won't be missing anything if you skip those parts.

I'm sorry this is so long, I usually don't bother but considering the wide array of Akatsuki fics out there, I wanted to make it clear what my intentions were…so you don't go reading through a few chapters waiting for something that just isn't going to happen…don't want to waste your time.

Anyway…with that out of the way…this will be my only major AN…scouts honor…

* * *

**_Chapter 1: Day Zero. A bet is made._**

* * *

"Hey dipshit…you ever been in love?" Hinad asked

obnoxiously as he walked beside Kabuzu on their way back to the Akatsuki base.

"No," Kakuzu replied gruffly.

"Hn."

Kakuzu glanced sideways at Hidan, he had given up uncharacteristically quickly on the matter. Usually if Hidan wanted to pry into his personal life, or lack thereof, he would persist until Kakuzu finally gave him the information he sought or beat him until he stopped asking. Something was up.

"Why?" he asked, his voice giving no hint to the curiosity that welled up inside him.

"You're pretty old," Hidan shrugged. "Just figured someone who's been around as long as you would have had some sort of relationship with at least one person."

"I've had many relations with women," Kakuzu replied, slightly worried Hidan was getting around to questioning his sexuality.

"There's a difference between fucking someone and loving someone," Hidan said as he rolled his eyes. "Even someone like me knows that."

"No I have never been in love with someone."

Kakuzu hoped that would be the end of the subject but realized he was sorely mistaken when Hidan spoke again.

"Yeah, guess it was a little stupid to ask. Who the fuck would love someone like you?" he snorted. "Bet you couldn't even get the most desperate of women to fall for ya."

Kakuzu remained silent, he wasn't sure what Hidan was playing at but he didn't want any part of it.

"Hell, I'd even be willing to wager money on it," Hidan drawled, hiding a smirk when Kakuzu shifted in his step. He knew that would get his attention.

"Somewhere along the lines of say… eight-hundred and seventy."

"That would hardly be worth my time," Kakuzu grumbled.

"Thousand."

"There's no way you have that kind of ryo."

Hidan grinned; he could tell his ever stoic companion was at least somewhat interested.

"Don't I?" he sighed innocently. "You'd be surprised…so how bout it?"

"No."

It was a reasonable amount of ryo, yes, but it would be more trouble than it was worth. Women always brought trouble.

"I'll double it," Hidan said, they had pulled together enough ryo to go three times his initial offer but he was hoping to get him to go for less.

"No."

"Triple."

"What are you trying to pull?" Kakuzu growled. Hidan didn't do shit, he couldn't have pocketed a payout that big.

"Two million, six-hundred and ten thousand ryo says you can't make a girl fall in love with you within a month."

Kakuzu's eye narrowed in thought. Granted some of his bounties usually brought in double, if not more, than what Hidan was offering but this seemed all too easy. Essentially, in his mind at least, he would be making money while sitting around doing nothing. Women weren't _that_ hard to entice into a false feeling of love.

"I want to see the money before I agree to anything."

"Of course, of course," Hidan grinned, Kakuzu had taken the bait. In thirty days, after the money was spilt, he would be about half a million ryo richer. "I'll show you that I really mean business once we get to Amegakure."

* * *

"Kakuzu- sama…Hidan-sama!" Tohru squeaked as she flew up from her position on the couch, the little book she had been reading flying back somewhere into the darkness of the living-room.

"Tohru," Hidan drawled, giving the slender girl a lazy wave of his hand.

"Tohru-san," Kakuzu greeted, only sparing a momentary glace towards her general direction before following Hidan as he made his way past the archway that led into the living room.

Tohru fidgeted a little then followed the two into the hallway. "I didn't realize you two would be getting back tonight," she said nervously.

Hidan paused at the end of the hall to look into the kitchen with something akin longing. They had missed dinner but the aroma of whatever had been served still hung in the air.

"Everyone has already eaten," Tohru said in a rush. "But I can make you something…anything you want really…"

Her chatter faded into background noise for the two ninja she followed. Hidan stopped once he reached the door to his room, giving Kakuzu a nod to go ahead inside.

"I could make something quick, unless you're willing to wait…" Tohru continued on, her words only fading once Hidan placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Anything will be fine," Hidan said slowly, as if speaking to a child, before turning her around and giving her a slight push towards the kitchen.

"You exercise a lot of restraint with her," Kakuzu noted once Hidan closed the door behind him.

"I don't want Konan breathing fire down my fucking throat and I'm smart enough to not piss off a girl who makes me food and…" Hidan paused to point at his freshly made bed. "Makes my bed even when I'm not here."

"Hn," Kakuzu nodded in understanding. "So where's the money?"

"Here," Hidan said as he pulled a faded but full looking backpack out from under his bed.

Kakuzu gripped the bag, yanking it way from Hidan.

"Count it if you want, then we can go over the details."

"I indent to," Kakuzu remarked, reaching in to pull out the first brick of ryo. His fingers moved expertly through the bills as be began counting. "So what are the rules to this little bet?"

"Not going to throw you off?" Hidan asked, eyeing Kakuzu slightly.

"No."

"Thirty days."

Kakuzu nodded.

"Not just get her into bed either, she actually has to admit that she loves you…"

"Any woman?" Kakuzu broke in as he moved to another stack.

"No, but we'll get to that. You can't force her to do anything or threaten her…or tell her about the bet."

Another nod, "So who do you have in mind, if it's Konan I'll tell you right now that there's no way in hell…"

"It's not Konan," Hidan sneered. "But you do know her…sorta."

"I don't like games Hidan," Kakuzu warned as he went for the last of the ryo. "Who is it?"

"Our little housekeeper."

Kakuzu's fingers didn't falter once, much to Hidan's disappointment. He was hoping for some kind of reaction at least.

"She's a bit young don't you think."

"Any woman I choose would be too fucking young," Hidan retorted dryly.

"Just make her love me?"

"Yes."

"I don't have to sleep with her?"

"Could be an added bonus but no."

Kakuzu set the last of the ryo down, it had all been there, "Who else is in on this?"

"What do you mean?" Hidan asked, he tried keeping his voice inconspicuous but failed miserably.

"There's no way you could have gotten this all on your own," Kakuzu said motioning to the ryo.

Hidan gave a frustrated groan, he should have anticipated Kakuzu catching on.

"Sasori, Zetsu, Kisame and of course myself."

"Zetsu and Sasori?" Kakuzu repeated as he walked over to Hidan's door, cracking it open just enough to peek his head out.

It was a straight shot down the hall to the kitchen. He couldn't see Tohru but could faintly hear her talking to herself. Either she was just _that_ craved for some sort of interaction, or she was crazy. As long as he didn't have to sleep with her he figured it should be easy enough, he wouldn't even have to leave the base.

Kakuzu closed the door again only somewhat listening to Hidan's explanation of how Zetsu and Sasori had gotten involved.

"You can't kill her to get out of it either," Hidan suddenly added in the middle of a completely different sentence.

"I won't kill her."

"So you're actually agreeing to this?"

"If you agree to my own rules, yes."

"What are they?" Hidan asked suspiciously.

"None of you are to interfere and any snide comments made during all this will get you killed."

"Interfere how?"

Kakuzu shrugged, "Telling her horror stories about me, trying to rival me for her affections, anything to porously further the already substantial gap between us."

"Fair enough," Hidan agreed. "Be warned though, she might have a little bit of a thing for Deidara."

"Why do you say that?"

"She can talk to him…without going on…whatever the fuck you call her weird little…rants? But that could also be because anytime she leaves the base he goes with her, unless he's not here, then Konan takes her."

"Hn," Kakuzu smirked from under his mask as a thought came to mind. If he was going to agree to this wager, might as well sweeten the deal. "How about we up the stakes?"

"Like how?"

"If I can do this, you have to refrain from your little rituals for three months."

"Fuck no!"

"Fine, no deal."

"Wait," Hidan growled as he sat on the edge of his bed. There wasn't any chance in hell that Kakuzu could ever get Tohru to feel _anything_ at all for him, so he _shouldn't_ have anything to worry about. "What if you can't?"

"I won't try taking any bounties while on missions for three months."

"No bounties at all," Hidan countered.

"Fine, I won't take any at all," Kakuzu agreed. "Not that it matters, this will be easy."

"U-uh, Hidan-sama?" a small voice called from the other side of the door.

Hidan grinned wickedly at Kakuzu before getting up and opening the door. When Tohru entered carrying a tray of food, chattering mindlessly, Kakuzu took the opportunity to really take her in. She had been with the Akatsuki for a while now but he had never really paid much attention to her. There wasn't anything particularly extraordinary about her but he supposed she was somewhat attractive. She was…wholesome looking, with her long brown hair and large teal-grey eyes.

"Um," Tohru smiled apprehensively as she looked back and forth between Hidan and Kakuzu. "Are you going to be staying with Hidan-sama tonight Kakuzu-sama?"

Kakuzu felt his temper rise dangerously at her assumption but managed to keep it in check.

"No, I'll be sleeping in my own room," he managed to say calmly and evenly.

"Would you like me to leave a tray in your roo…"

"No, I'll eat in the kitchen." As ridiculous as he had thought Hidan was for talking so slowly to the girl earlier, Kakuzu now found himself doing the same.

"Okay," she replied hesitantly before setting the tray down on Hidan's bed then disappearing back down the hall.

"Where are you going?" Hidan asked as Kakuzu moved to follow Tohru.

"There's no use procrastinating," he replied simply.

"So the clock starts tonight?"

"No, I won't be cheated out of days. It was your own stupid fault for not waiting till morning."

Kakuzu entered the dark kitchen just as Tohru finished setting a few bowls on the table. She tried desperately not to fidget but couldn't help it. Kisame often referred to Hidan and Kakuzu as zombies, which terrified her. She understood how Hidan could be considered a zombie, he just couldn't be killed but she wasn't sure about Kakuzu. She had also never actually seen his face which most often caused her imagination to run rampant. Then there was his last partner…

"Do you always stand there and space out like that?" Kakuzu asked while sitting down at the table.

"Sometimes," Tohru answered truthfully.

"You going to stay to watch me eat?" Kakuzu asked, a little more forcefully than he had intended.

"Sorry," Tohru shuddered, making a B-line for the exit.

"It was just a question," Kakuzu said, trying to take on a more gentle tone. "You don't have to leave if you don't want to."

"I should really be getting to bed anyway," Tohru stammered, slowly inching out the door as Kakuzu began to reach up to remove his mask. She really did not want to see what he hid under there. "I have grocery shopping to do in the morning and Deidara-kun gets a little annoyed if I'm not ready on time."

Tohru turned and scurried down the hall just before the mask was removed.

'_Deidara-_kun_,'_ Kakuzu mused as he noted the honorific. _'Hidan might be right. I'll need to do something about that.'_

* * *

"Hurry up!"

Kakuzu scowled as Deidara's voice echoed into his room, even through a closed door. He didn't like waking up to the sound of anyone screaming but Deidara had a way of grating against his nerves like none other.

"I'm sorry Deidara-kun!" another voice called out accompanied by the thumping sound of someone running past his room.

"What are you looking for?"

"I can't fine my umbrel…"

"Will you two shut the fuck up!" Hidan screamed.

"Shit Hidan put some clothes on," yelled Deidara. "Tohru-chan, cover your eyes!"

"H-hai!"

Kakuzu quickly pulled his mask and hood on, followed by his forehead protector. He had fallen asleep in his clothes and sandals so it only took a moment before he was out his door to survey what the 'kids' were up to.

Tohru was standing near his door with her hands covering her eyes. Deidara was at the far end of the hall squawking at a very naked and irate looking Hidan who was standing half in, half out of his room

"Hidan," Kakuzu growled. "Not that you have much to look at but no one wants to see you naked."

"Fuck you!" Hidan screamed before retreating back into his room and slamming the door.

Torhu peeked out through her fingers, watching as a few pieced of plaster fell from the ceiling.

"S-sorry if we woke you Kakuzu-sama."

"You're going out to do your shopping?"

"Uh-huh," Tohru smiled, her hands falling back to her sides.

"I have a few errands of my own to do today, so I'll take you instead of Deidara."

"H-hai?" Tohru frowned slightly.

Kakuzu couldn't tell if she was let down or simply confused.

"I've not been out with you before," Torhu said with a sudden bright smile.

"I'm not sure if I trust you to watch her, hn," Deidara scowled, walking up to the two.

"It will be an adventure Deidara-kun," she said with much too much gusto. "But I still need to find my umbrella."

"Go get mine out of my room, hn," Deidara said, smirking a little as Tohru bounded off to do just that.

"She'll talk to just about anyone, hn," said Deidara once she was gone, glaring at Kakuzu. "And she's really gullible so you have to watch her like a hawk, hn."

"Ready!" Tohru said happily as she bounced back into the hallway with a black umbrella in hand.

"But…" she murmured, getting a little uncomfortable. "Deidara-kun said he would take me to the book-store, will that still be okay Kakuzu-sama?"

"Bookstore?" Kakuzu repeated.

"Icha-Icha," Deidara muttered under his breath. "She's a fan of the Icha-Icha series and a new book came out three days ago, hn. I promised I would take her to go pick one up, you sure you still want to take her, hn?"

Kakuzu nodded slightly, "That will be fine."

"Hn," he added mockingly.

* * *

Kakuzu glanced down towards girl beside him. It was a wonder that she wasn't freezing. By the time they had finally left it had stopped raining but a heavy chill still clung to the air and she was only wearing a thin looking pink sweater and a white skirt that bordered on being an inappropriate length. He did find her little yellow rain-boots somewhat comical but didn't show it.

In the back of his mind he was beginning to question his judgment in accepting the bet. At first he had thought that it would be easy but was beginning to see that this could end up being more difficult. If he was too direct it could very well scare her off but if he was too subtle she would simply take it as being friendly. He understood why Tohru had been chosen now; she was blissfully oblivious to most things. She didn't even seem to notice the strange and sometimes frightened looks they were getting.

"We're here," Tohru chimed stopping in front of a small book store.

Kakuzu tried not to cringe; even from the outside it looked incredibly…pink.

"Y-you don't have to go in," Tohru offered timidly, noticing how his eyes narrowed.

"No, just be quick."

"Hai!" And with that she was off, followed slowly by Kakuzu.

An eruption of little squeaks and squeals bounced around the store as Tohru fondled the books and various merchandise somewhere near the back of the shop. Kakuzu remained near the front, other than the cashier they were the only ones in there so there was no need to stay too close. Out of sheer boredom he skimmed over the nearest row of books. His eyes were drawn to one in particular. The red cover was simple enough but it was the gold text that had caught his attention.

_How to make a woman fall in love with you in 30 days._

It all seemed too incredibly ironic. He told himself that he didn't need some ridiculous book to help him win the bet but he still found himself moving towards it. He looked up to make sure Tohru was still occupied, which she was. He then looked backwards, he half expected Hidan to jump out of nowhere and yell "Ah-hah". He snorted at the thought.

'_It couldn't hurt,'_he reasoned as he picked up the small book.

The boy behind the counter was so enthralled with watching Tohru as she bounded up to him carrying her book and an oversized plushy that he missed it when Kakuzu slipped the book into his cloak. He wasn't going to waste his money on something so stupid.

"Who's that supposed to be?" Kakuzu asked, nodding to the plushy of what he assumed was supposed to be a man with tan skin and long black hair. He really didn't care but he knew he needed to show some sort of interest.

"I don't know yet," Torhu beamed as she held the doll out in front of herself, her head lolling to one side to mimic the dolls movement. "But I'm pretty sure it's the new main character."

"Hn," Kakuzu grunted. Maybe that book _would_ be useful; he really didn't understand this girl.

* * *

REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY!...but I'll update regardless.

And yay, finished this in time. It's Kakuzu's birthday tomorrow.

Also Amegakure, I dunno if an Akatsuki base would actually be there…but it made sense…to me at least.


	2. Chapter 2: Throwing Wooden Spoons

**_Chapter 2: Throwing Wooden Spoons_**

* * *

"Kisame!" Tohru whined, jerking the white sheets as hard as she could. "Why are you being so _difficult_?"

Kisame smirked as he folded his arms behind his head. The sheet below him didn't budge at all.

"Who me?" he asked innocently.

"Yes you," Tohru huffed as she pulled again. "Get off the bed so I can wash your sheets."

"But I'm so comfortable. Anyway you seem like you're in such a hurry, should slow down a little."

"I got a new book," Tohru mumbled, her cheek turning pink. "And I would like to read it."

Kisame gave a long slow stretch along with a fake yawn but didn't show any signs of getting up. "Read your book then, I aint stopping you."

Tohru's hands flew to her hips as she tried staring Kisame down. "I can't read my book until I finish my chores…I can't finish my chores until I wash all the bedding…and I can't wash the bedding until you move."

"Why do you insist on doing that to her?" a cold voice drifted in from the hall.

"She's always so damn chipper," Kisame replied, lifting his head up enough to see Itachi standing in his doorway. "It's fun to see her get upset once and a while."

"Get up so she can do her job."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm moving."

"Thank you," Tohru said sarcastically once Kisame rolled off the bed.

Kisame watched as Torhu irritably tore the sheets from his bed and balled them up under her arm. "Go read your silly books and fantasize about Deidara."

"I…"

Tohru's face went completely red as she gaped at Kisame in horror. She couldn't seem to get her mouth to work properly.

* * *

_Chapter 1_

_Establish Contact with Your Target_

Kakuzu glared at the words. He had already established contact, she lived with them. He skimmed idly through paragraph after paragraph giving advice on how to introduce oneself to a woman and gain her interest. Nothing seemed to be relevant so he skipped to the next chapter.

_Chapter 2_

_Learn More about Her_

'_She's pretty simple minded, I don't think there's much to learn,_' Kakuzu inwardly sneered at the book. _'What do they propose in chapter three?'_

_Chapter 3_

_Take an Interest in Her Daily Activities._

"Cleaning and cooking?" Kakuzu muttered but continued reading.

_Even the most mundane tasks can lead to a closer relationship. By assisting her in her daily activities you are essentially integrating yourself into her daily life. _

"You make a valid point," he mused aloud to the book before closing it and tucking it under his mattress.

"Hidan-sama?" he heard Tohru's muffled voice coming from the hall.

"What?" Hidan yelled.

"I need your bedding."

"Oh. Yeah hold on!"

"I suppose this will be my chance," Kakuzu grumbled as he rose from his bed and began pulling the sheets off.

He entered the hall just in time to see Hidan's door fly open and a jumble of white fabric fly out, colliding with Tohru's head.

"What's with everyone today?" she sighed as she stuffed the sheets into the large canvas laundry bag. Deidara had refused to give up his bedding until she had told him everything that had happened that morning, then there was the whole incident with Kisame, and now Hidan was at it too.

"I'm not sure about everyone," Kakuzu said, taking the laundry bag from her to add his own sheets. "But Hidan is just a jack-ass."

"Oh, Kakuzu-sama," Tohru squeaked with a little jump. "I'm sorry I didn't see you there."

"Who else?" Kakuza asked, pulling the bag to the side before she could take it back.

"Just Zetsu-sama, but you really don't have to…"

"I would like to," he lied, cutting her off. There were about a million other things he would rather be doing but the idea of Hidan not doing his stupid rituals for three months was a good motivator.

"Okay?" Tohru said slowly.

'_What's gotten into him lately?_ _Ever since last night in the kitchen, he's been kinda nice. I wonder if he's not feeling well…or maybe…maybe he's just lonely. He doesn't seem like the type to get lonely…but with how he's acting…That must be it!...With someone like Hidan-sama as a partner I can't blame him for wanting a friend…Don't worry Kakuzu-sama I shall be that friend!'_

Kakuzu decided in that moment that she was indeed crazy. Her eye's had gone all glossy and she was staring off into space again. In a matter of just a few seconds a multitude of emotions had crossed her face; confusion, concern, sadness, finishing up with a big bang of bright-eyed determination.

"Tohru?"

"Hai!" she said, giving him a bright smile.

"Zetsu?" he offered slowly. It was obvious she had forgotten what they were doing.

Her face fell almost instantly. She hated anything that had to do with Zetsu, he scared her. Not just a creeped out scared either, like with Kakuzu or Hidan. No, Zetsu absolutely terrified her. That's why she always saved his room for last.

Tohru took a deep unsteady breath as she raised her hand to knock on Zetsu's door. Her hand fell away, she had lost her nerve. She took another breath and tried again…failure. It had become a weird little ritual of hers, one that was carried out anytime she knew Zetsu was home and she needed to bother him with something.

On her fifth try Kakuzu nudged her out of the way; he could only stand so much before he would lose his temper.

"Zetsu!" he shouted, banking on the door with the side of his fist.

The door opened slowly raveling the monstrous man/plant. "Yes?"

"Need your bedding."

"Why would you need my bedding?"

Kakuzu tilted his head towards Tohru. "Helping out around the base," he said spitefully.

Zetsu nodded and turned around, retreating back into his room. He returned with the bedding, which was neatly folded, a moment later.

"I believe this is Tohru-hime's job," Zetsu said, recoiling the sheets when Kakuzu tried grabbing them.

"Tohru…Hime?" he said, holding the bundle out to Tohru.

"Thank you, Zetsu-sama," said Tohru shakily as she reached out to take the sheets.

"So pretty," he murmured.

"**Delicious," **his dark side added.

Kakuzu's face screwed up in disgust, it seemed like one side wanted to fuck the poor girl and the other wanted to eat her. It was no wonder she had been so scared to knock on the door. If the sick bastard was willing to go that far with him standing right there, Kabuzu didn't want to think about how it usually went when Tohru was alone.

* * *

He told himself it didn't matter, that it shouldn't matter, that he shouldn't care but he couldn't get the image of Tohru visibly trembling after talking to Zetsu out of his head. He had to at least ask.

"He hasn't done anything to you has he?"

Tohru set the washer to the required setting then pressed start before turning to face Kakuzu. "Huh?"

"Zetsu, has he ever done anything to you?" Kakuzu tried again.

"No, he just scares me," she said softly, her cheeks tinting a light shade of pink. She felt a little childish being so terrified of him.

"Don't be ashamed. I might be a little scared of him too if I were in your situation."

"Really?" Tohru asked, giving Kakuzu a small smile.

"Really."

'_No actually I think I would kill him.'_

But the comment did seem to make her feel better.

"So what else do you need to do?"

"Um, well after this I'll make all the beds, then I'll start dinner," Tohru smiled, lifting herself up to sit on the washer.

"So you just sit down here until all if it's finished?"

"Well, usually if Sasori hears that I've started the washer he'll come in to get me. He knows I'll start straightening up his room…er…workshop…If I'm in there long enough," Tohru giggled.

Kakuzu nodded, he'd forgotten that Sasori's room was downstairs with the washroom.

A strained silence filled the room. Kakuzu had to fight off a groan; the dull hum of the washer was going to drive him mad. He knew he needed to think of something.

'_Learn more about her,' _he quoted the book to himself.

"Tohru, how old are you?"

"Eighteen," she smiled.

"How old were you when Konan brought you here?"

"Fifteen."

Kakuzu nodded, hesitating before asking his next question. He wasn't sure if it would be a sore subject, but he wanted to know.

"Why haven't you ever tried leaving?"

Tohru's head tilted to the side in confusion, "I came here willingly, why would I want to leave?"

"You actually agreed to all of this?"

"It's not that unbelievable is it?" she giggled. "I had the choice between being out on my own or coming here and having a home. Konan-sama made it clear that I wouldn't ever be allowed to leave but I wouldn't want to, I'm happy here."

"Why does she always require someone to be with you when you go out then?"

Tohru laughed. "Konan says that I would allow myself to be kidnapped if the person was nice enough about it."

"Do you understand what the Akatsuki is doing?"

"A little."

"We're S-class criminals."

Tohru's face grew serious, though there was still softness to her eyes. "Konan-sama and Leader-sama…they're precious to me. If they believe what they do is required to reach their goal, I will trust them."

"I would have thought it was because of Deidara," Kakuzu said, trying to lighten her mood again.

Tohru went red as she hung her head in hopes that her bangs would hide her cheeks from view. "Why does everyone like teasing me about that?"

"So it's true?" Kakuzu mused with a small, almost inaudible chuckled.

"It's just a little crush," she mumbled. "I can't help it, he's nice to me and the only people here close to my own age are Itachi-sama, who doesn't talk much…Deidara-kun…or…"

Tohru cringed, "Hidan."

"If you ever admitted an attraction to Hidan I would never speak to you again," Sasori drawled dryly from the doorway.

"Hello Sasori," Tohru smiled, she knew it would only be a matter of time before he decided to show up.

"Tohru," he greeted, before turning his attention to Kakuzu. "What are you doing here?"

"I was helping Tohru out but I was just about to leave," Kakuzu glared. He wasn't very fond of the puppet-freak; he spent way too much money on his little projects.

"Tohru, come get me when you're about to start dinner, I'll help you," Kakuzu said in a lighter tone before excusing himself.

"Care to explain?" Sasori asked once he knew Kakuzu was out of hearing range.

"I think he's lonely," she said as she hopped down from the washer.

"Ah, yes of course that must be it," Sasori agreed though he meant it sarcastically. "Shall we?"

"I have about thirty minutes before I need to come back to start on the next load," Tohru nodded.

"It's not as bad as it usually is," said Sasori, turning to return to his 'room' knowing Tohru would follow.

* * *

Tohru surveyed her work with a victorious gleam. The floor was swept and everything, aside from what Sasori was currently using, was put away. In a way Sasori had been right, it hadn't been as bad as it usually was…it was worse. Sadly in would probably be a mess again in a few days. It had taken a while to finish, the last load of sheets were already in the dryer, but she still had enough time to do one of her favorite activities…fondle Sasori's puppets.

"He's so beautiful," Tohru murmured as she ran her fingertips down the cheek of her favorite puppet… the third Kazekage.

"You say that every time I have him out," said Sasori, looking up from his work for a moment to observe Tohru. He hadn't ever mentioned the puppets origins, the girl had no idea whose face she was actually admiring.

Tohru gave a small giggle as she played with a strand of coarse black hair. "Because he is."

"He is the most beautiful of all my creations, yes," Sasori agreed.

"I wouldn't say he's the _most_ beautiful."

A small smirk played against Sasori's lips as he looked back down at the arm he was working on.

"Are you implying that you think I'm beautiful Tohru?"

Tohru simply smiled.

"Should mention that to Deidara next time you see him."

"The last time I said I liked your work he spent an hour lecturing me on what he thought true art was," Tohru laughed.

"Do you mind Kakuzu trying to get closer to you?" Sasori asked suddenly.

Tohru absently traced the lines running down from the corners of the Kazekage's mouth. "No why would I?"

"Are you sure he's only trying to get close because he desires a friend?" Sasori pressed. He had his own reasons for becoming a part of this whole bet business. If Kakuzu failed, true he would get more funding for his puppets but if he were to succeed…

Honestly he didn't care about the money. He wanted to see the man unravel at the hands of something so innocent. That really would be beautiful art.

"What do you mean?" Tohru asked hazily. She felt lulled, the puppet had a way of doing that to her. It looked so very real yet sat so perfectly still under her touch.

"Maybe he's looking for a lover and not a friend."

That snapped Tohru from her trance. "He's old," Tohru laughed.

"Counting the number of years he's been alive that would be an accurate description but he's ageless."

"Huh?"

"Does he look like he's in his nineties?"

"No," Tohru said with a half laugh. "But it doesn't matter anyway; I doubt that's what he's after."

"Could be."

"Then he'll be sorely disappointed."

Sasori frowned, that didn't sound much like Tohru. "How long are you going to pine after Deidara."

"It has nothing to do with my little crush on Deidara."

"What then?"

"Konan-sama once told me that I should never get attached to any member of the Akatsuki. Why would I want to fall in love with someone that could very well not come home one day?"

Sasori noted the slight tremble in Tohru's voice. He had struck a nerve, he hadn't meant to. It was one thing he was sure she wanted yet couldn't have. He assumed that was the reason she immersed herself in those silly romance novels. She was happy with the Akatsuki, he knew that, but it came at a price. She could never look forward to settling down and starting a family not unless they all fell…he knew Tohru would never wish for something like that.

With only the slightest move of his fingers the kazekage reached up just enough to catch the tear Sasori knew was there.

'_I wonder if Konan knows she's instilled her own bitterness towards love in her young charge. This truly will be a masterpiece, regardless of its end."_

* * *

"Thank you for helping me Kakuzu-sama," Tohru smiled. Not only had he been 'nice' enough to help her with diner but he had also agreed to her request to come with her while she made Zetsu's bed.

"Stop thanking me and stop calling me that," Kakuzu commanded as he watched over the large wok, stirring the contents as Tohru had instructed him to do.

Tohru paused after slicing through a carrot to look back at Kakuzu. "Calling you what?" she asked in confusion.

"Kakuzu-sama."

"Oh…Kuzu-kun then?" Tohru giggled, praying he didn't decide to rip her head off for the comment.

Kakuzu turned to give Tohru a fierce glare but it was wasted, she had gone back to chopping vegetable.

"Just Kakuzu," he growled.

"But it sounded so cute," Tohru insisted.

Kakuzu took a deep breath, trying to calm his temper.

'_She's just trying to play with you…on the plus side she's actually trying to play with you. Maybe that book knows what it's talking about…but there is no way I'm letting her call me _that_.'_

"Ka-ku-zu, even an airhead like you should be able to say it."

Tohru turned fully to stare wide-eyed at Kakuzu's mask embedded back. He had insulted her but there had also been a tiny bit of humor in his voice.

"Hai," Tohru smirked. "…Kuzu-kun."

Tohru squeaked as she ducked just in time to miss the wooden spoon that had been aimed for her head.

"I won't miss the next time," Kakuzu warned.

* * *

_AN:_

A bit of angst for Tohru…I'm sorry…but some things needed to be addressed.

Sasori…yeah a bit ooc…again sorry…It's just that when I tried thinking of him in a non-fighting sort of setting I kinda envisioned someone who likes playing puppet master with people's lives just for his own enjoyment.

**MegassaTheBomber**- Thank you for reviewing! I will try to keep her from becoming a Mary-sue…please feel free to slap me if she does…


	3. Chapter 3: A Touch

**_Chapter 3: A Touch_**

* * *

**_Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around._**

* * *

"I'm not asking her out," Kakuzu grumbled to the book he had just chucked across his room. It was taunting him, laying there half open by his closet. If it didn't watch it he would rip it to shreds.

Chapter four was about showing a woman you were comfortable around her in order for her to become more comfortable around you. He talked to her, in his opinion that should have been enough to prove he was comfortable being in her presence. He had skipped the majority of that chapter and moved onto the next which had suggested some sort of outing but not necessarily a date.

He had even skimmed through future chapters but they only got worse. Though he told himself that he didn't help from the book when he had decided to ignore said book he had ended up repeating what he had done the day before. Which meant the day was wasted with him imitating a lost puppy following Tohru around as she did her random chores around the base. It wasn't getting him any closer to Tohru, even though she had enjoyed the company.

It was a hard blow to his ego when the reality set in…he had no idea how to romance a woman. The fact that he probably wouldn't have gotten as far as he had without the book wasn't lost to him either. He wouldn't have thought of helping her around the base without the book…and sadly he probably wouldn't get any further without the book. But taking her out somewhere?

'_I wouldn't know where to take her, not without seeming forward. Anyway I doubt Konan wants her to leave unless it has something to do with maintaining the base. Could just go ask, she should still be up. She'll say no, that will be the end of it and I'll stop thinking about it.'_

Kakuzu trudged through his door but not before going back and begrudgingly picking up his book and slipping it under his mattress.

"Come in," Konan called even before Kakuzu had a chance to knock.

"If you're here again to rant about wasting money because the kitchen light was on while no one was in there, don't bother. I'm not in the mood," she said, not bothering to look up from whatever paper she was reading.

"No," Kakuzu grumbled, closing the door behind him. "I needed to ask you something."

Konan motioned to one of the chairs across from her desk, still not looking up. "Sit down."

"Is Tohru allowed to leave the base purely for recreational purposes?" he asked, sitting down.

Konan looked up from the paper, a small bit of panic in her eyes. "Why, did she go somewhere?"

"No, I just wanted to know."

Konan nodded in relief, going back to reading. "She's allowed to leave as long as someone is with her. I also prefer knowing beforehand if at all possible."

"I would like to take Tohru somewhere tomorrow."

"Sure, that would be fi…" Konan stopped, giving him a bewildered look. "Wait…what?"

"What part of 'I would like to take Tohru somewhere tomorrow' was unclear?" Kakuzu asked sarcastically.

Konan slumped back in her chair, still giving him the same look. "But…why?"

Kakuzu chose to remain silent; nothing he could say would sound genuine enough.

"Like a date?" she asked.

"If you want to call it that."

Konan's brain was beginning to hurt.

'_He likes her?'_

This was one of the weirdest things to happen within the Akatsuki to date and considering the people involved that was really saying something. The only thing that came close was when Kisame got a little too drunk and…

Konan shuddered; she didn't want to think about it. Perhaps that _had_ been a little weirder.

"If Tohru agrees I guess it would be…"

"I wouldn't force her," Kakuzu muttered.

"Where did you plan on taking her?" Curiously was slowly eating away at the disturbed feeling she got from all of this. The man across from her remained silent making her a little suspicious until his gaze slid away from hers to focus on a spot on her desk.

'_He's uncomfortable…Holy hell I can't believe this is happening. Deidara…Deidara I could see…but Kakuzu?'_

"I don't know yet," he said finally.

"Well," she said slowly.

'_God help me…I can't believe I'm helping _**him**_ with something like _**this**_.'_

"She likes to go shopping but everyone is usually less than inclined to sit around while she tried on clothes for a few hours," she offered.

"I'm not buying her a new wardrobe," Kakuzu deadpanned.

Konan rolled her eyes. _'Cheapskate.' _

"You wouldn't have to. Tohru _does_ make a salary you know and considering how long it's been since she was taken out to really go shopping I'm sure she has quite a bit saved up."

Konan smiled slightly before adding, "It's something I know she would really appreciate and would definitely earn you a few points."

"Fine, I guess I'm taking her shopping tomorrow," Kakuzu sighed. That was actually more help than he would have liked to admit. He didn't like the idea of watching Tohru throw away money on things he was sure weren't absolutely necessary but at least it was something neutral.

'_Well since my dignity has already been thrown out the window and she seems willing to help, might as well ask…'_

"Hypothetically speaking," he said hesitantly.

'_**Fuck**__ this already sounds stupid.'_

"If someone is trying to make another person more comfortable around them…" Kakuzu trailed off, he couldn't bring himself to ask. No amount of ryo or making Hidan's life miserable was worth sounding like a teenager asking for advice before going on their very first date.

"Never mind," he mumbled, standing to leave. "Forget about it."

"Have you tried taking off your mask and hood?" Konan asked, stopping him. "Sometimes they can be a little intimidating."

"More so than my face?"

"A little self-conscious are we?"

Kakuzu glared at her for a moment before leaving. He only got a few paces from her office when he heard the door open.

"If Tohru agrees you can tell her she can have the day off. Tomorrow is Thursday so she doesn't have much to do anyway…but that way she's not worried about getting back by a certain time," Konan said softly.

Kakuzu nodded and continued down the hall.

'_Konan is actually buying all this bullshit?'_

If he wasn't a money-loving miserable individual he might have felt a bit like an ass but even he would admit that's what he was…so he didn't care.

He stopped by his room long enough to pull his mask and hood off before heading to Tohru's room. Her light was on but it didn't sound like she was in there.

'_She's probably in the living room reading, or with Sasori.' _

The answer to his silent musing was answered when he spotted Sasori sitting at the kitchen table staring at a plate of food.

'_Maybe turning yourself into a living puppet wasn't such a bright idea huh you dickless freak,' _he thought wickedly as he passed by.

Tohru was where he thought she would be, sprawled out on the living room floor laying on her stomach with her knees bent, wearing nauseatingly pink long-sleeved pajamas. She was facing away from him, idly rocking her feet back and forth. The TV was on but muted which, in his opinion, was completely pointless.

'…_the hell is she doing?'_ he wondered when a weird gurgling noise suddenly filled the room. He shifted to the side, further entering the living room until he could spot the source of the noise.

She was propping herself up on her elbows over a glass of milk, blowing bubbles through a straw, and reading the book she had bought the other day.

"Uh, Tohru?"

Tohru's entire body jumped. The slow steady breath she had been blowing through the straw came out in one giant whoosh causing milk bubbles to foam over the side of her cup. She scrambled to turn around but looked more like a flailing fish. Eventually she regained control of her limbs and sat up to look at whoever had spoken.

Her mind went blank as she gaped at Kakuzu. She recognized his voice and body but was having trouble linking them to his face.

"Kuzu-kun?" she asked numbly.

Kakuzu shook his head as he padded over to sit on the couch, "I thought I told you to stop calling me that."

Tohru blinked slowly, trying to process what she was seeing. There was no rotted flesh, no skin just dangling there, no jagged teeth…he had the same stitches that covered his body running from the corners of his mouth up to his ears…but other than that, he actually looked pretty normal. Nothing like she had envisioned. She wondered momentarily why he hid his face until she realized she was staring.

"I'm sorry," she squeaked.

"Hn, don't apologize just don't call me that again. Anyway, Konan told me to take you shopping tomorrow."

Technically it wasn't a lie and seemed like a good cover. He wasn't willing to openly ask her to go out with him somewhere, not yet at least…or maybe ever.

"But we don't need anything…"

"Not for the base," Kakuzu grumbled as he propped his legs up onto the couch, resting his back against the arm. "For you…airhead."

Tohru's brows furrowed in thought. To her knowledge there wasn't anything she really needed at the moment, unless he was talking about…

"Like for clothes?" she asked brightly.

"Sure."

"Really?"

"Really," he sighed. "She also said you could have the day off tomorrow."

Tohru wasn't sure what she had done to prompt Konan to give her the day off and a shopping trip but Tohru definitely planned on giving her a hug for it later. A little of her excitement deflated when a thought suddenly struck her.

'_Kakuzu doesn't seem to really want to take me…'_

"You don't have to take me…I appreciate Konan's thoughtfulness but I don't want you to be forced into this," she murmured.

"She didn't force me. She mentioned that you haven't been out for a while just for yourself and I offered to take you."

"Thank you," she beamed, her smile back in full force. "That's very sweet of you."

"You gonna clean that up?" Kakuzu asked, pointing to the milk pooled around her cup. He needed to distract her before she tried hugging him or something.

Her eyes grew wide at the mess she had made; she had been so distracted that she had completely forgotten. She quickly grabbed the cup and headed for the kitchen to retrieve a towel.

"Sasori?" Tohru questioned when she entered the kitchen.

"I don't get hungry," Sasori said, looking up from the plate. "But I do sometimes miss the idea of eating."

Tohru felt her heart clench painfully.

"Oh," she said softly, not sure of what else she could say.

"Making messes again Tohru?" Sasori smirked, pointing to the glass she held.

"Oh… yeah," Tohru giggled slightly, walking over to put the glass in the sink. "I was blowing bubbles in my milk, then Kakuzu startled me…I kinda got milk everywhere."

Sasori chuckled, that was a mental image he would definitely hang onto. "What did Kakuzu want?"

"He's going to take me shopping tomorrow," she smiled. "I guess Konan-sama mentioned that I hadn't been out in a while so he volunteered to take me."

Sasori nodded, he highly doubted that's how it had gone, but at least Kakuzu was making some sort of effort.

"Perhaps I'll come with you as well." There was no way he was going to miss this.

"That would be fun," Tohru nodded as she grabbed a kitchen towel.

"I'll see you in the morning then," Sasori smiled.

Tohru paused at the kitchen door to look back at the red-head who remained sitting there, looking at the plate. She doubted it would mean anything to him but she walked over anyway, wrapping her arms around his shoulders in a sideways hug, resting her cheek on the top of his head.

'_If I hadn't…If I had waited…'_ his thoughts trailed off. There were too many if's he didn't want to think about.

* * *

Tohru hummed happily to herself as she closed her book. It had been even better the second time. Slowly she sat up and stretched, normally she would have already been in bed by now but with the day off tomorrow she figured she's stay up a little later. She'd still probably end up getting up early though; it was usually pandemonium if she didn't make breakfast in the morning.

They were all full grown men; you'd think they would be able to cook for themselves but no. The last time she slept in because she was sick she had woken up to the sound of yelling and pans being thrown. By the time she had pulled herself out of bed she had found Kisame throwing eggs at Hidan, Itachi having a fit because he didn't know where anything was, and Deidara trying to make french-toast in the in toaster.

Tohru smiled at the memory. It had been a little irritating but it had also made her feel needed. Yes, she would definitely be up in time to make breakfast, she didn't want to clean egg off the ceiling again…or have to get a new toaster.

Tohru shifted a little to stand but stopped. Kakuzu was still lying on the couch with his head slightly propped up on the arm. He had been so quiet that she had assumed he had left.

His eyes were closed and his face lax, a he looked almost peaceful…almost. The thin line running across the bridge of his nose made it seem like he was scowling even in his sleep. Tohru took advantage of the moment to observe him. He was handsome in his own way and looked familiar though she was sure she had never seen him without his mask.

She continued to stare until a little light clicked on her head. She fumbled through her book trying to find where the main character was introduced. She read through his description quickly before looking back up at Kakuzu again.

'_Without the stitches…and if his hair was longer…' _

Kakuzu had been drifting through a haze like sleep until he had heard Tohru moving. He cracked his eyes open just enough to see her without giving away the fact that he wasn't asleep. She had been just about to get up when she had noticed he was still there. She had simply stared at him until an indiscernible look crossed her face as she began flipping through her book like a mad-woman.

She looked back up at him, a little tinge of pink coming to her cheeks. Then, before either of them knew what was happening she was shuffling over to him on her knees. She maneuvered around the little coffee table until she was in front of him. He couldn't really see her face anymore, not without opening his eyes further.

'_He's going to kill you if he wakes up,'_ Tohru told herself as she lifted her hand. _'…but I want to know what they feel like.'_

Cautiously she ran her finger against one of the threads further up his cheek. They weren't necessarily coarse feeling but couldn't be considered pliable either. She glanced to his eyes to make sure they were still closed before lightly touching the seam of skin under the stitches. The skin was slightly rough where it came together but became softer the further she slid her finger away from the seam.

Kakuzu was torn between wanting to jump up and strangle her and laying there so she could continue. He couldn't remember the last time someone had touched him so gently and he wasn't sure if he liked it. If he chose now to make her aware that he wasn't sleeping she would more than likely become a bumbling idiot around him for the next week, or longer, which wouldn't get him any closer to winning this bet. So he remained completely still.

It wasn't until her thumb barely grazed his bottom lip that his eyes flew open.

When Tohru's gaze met his stern green and red eyes she was immediately reminded that no, he was not the character in her book…this was Kakuzu and by the look he was giving her he was about to kill her.

She gave a startled yelp and tried pushing herself away. One foot became tangled in her baggy pajama bottoms as she tried standing, sending her toppling over backwards smacking her head against the corner of the coffee table.

Tohru sat up, holding the back of her head hoping to make the stinging stop. "I'm sorry," she moaned, with her eyes tightly closed.

"Clumsy," Kakuzu grumbled, sitting up on the couch. He gripped her upper arm lightly and tugged her towards him so she sat between his knees with her back towards him.

"Let me see," he ordered when Tohru refused to pull her hands away from her head.

Once her hands were out of the way he could see that she had smacked herself pretty good.

"You're bleeding," he commented. "Sit on the couch while I go get the first-aid kit….and try not to completely knock yourself out while I'm gone."

"I'm sure it's fine," Tohru tried assuring him. She just wanted to lock herself in her room at this point.

"Sit—On – The—Couch—And—Stay," he bit out, as he moved around her to stand.

Tohru gave a small whimper but did as she was told. It wasn't even a minute before Kakuzu was back carrying a couple different things.

"Stand up," he said.

Tohru stood but refused to look at him. Kakuzu moved to take her spot on the couch, sitting as far back as he could.

"Now sit."

She looked down at the bit of couch between his legs then at him, her face going red.

"For fuck sake Tohru," he grumbled gruffly when she didn't move.

He gripped her arm again and pulled her down to sit stiffly between his legs. He carefully separated her hair to look at the little gash, it wasn't as bad as he had first thought, it would be sore for a few days but she would be fine. He still wanted to clean it though, who knew the number of things Kisame and Deidara spilled on that coffee table.

"Did you think I was going to hit you or something?" he asked as he pulled an antiseptic wipe from its little wrapper.

"I don't know," Tohru mumbled, wincing a little when he started cleaning the little cut.

"You're not the first person to be curious about my stitches," he sighed; he didn't want to discourage her from getting close to him.

"Where you awake the entire time?" Torhu asked through strained nervousness.

"Why, how long were you at it?" he teased, smirking a little when even her ears turned red. "Yes, I was awake the entire time."

Tohru groaned and slumped forward slightly. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"It's not often a pretty girl isn't completely disgusted by my face," he said, again blurring the lines of truth. "Now sit up again so I can finish."

* * *

Shit this ended up being longer than I had first thought. Originally I had planned on including their little outing…but I guess that will be in the next chapter.

I got a little depressed when I was writing this…Sasori…even in the manga/anime he depresses me…sooooooo that's why there was a little bit of fluff added in…


	4. Chapter 4: Kitty Cats and Lingerie

**_Chapter 4: Kitty Cats and Lingerie. (HAHAHAHA I could have gone there…but I won't…because not everyone appreciated perverted humor.)_**

* * *

_AN: Okay I know I said I wouldn't be adding any more references to Fruits Basket….BUT…there may be a few characters making slight cameo appearances in this chapter…just for giggles. Nothing major._

* * *

"That doesn't bother you?" Kisame asked once he heard the front door click closed.

"What, hn?" Deidara asked around a mouthful of toast.

"Tohru going out somewhere with Kakuzu." Hidan had made it clear that no one involved in the bet was to interfere with Kakuzu and Tohru, but that didn't mean that he couldn't get Deidara to do the interfering.

"She made breakfast before she left, hn. Why should I care, hn?"

"He's been getting really close to her," Kisame said slowly.

"Yeah, it's a little disturbing but not really any of my business, hn."

"You know she likes you right?"

"I'm not blind, hn," Deidara snorted.

"Then why doesn't it bother you? He's pretty much moving in on…whatever you and Tohru having going on."

Deidara laughed, surprising Kisame. "There's nothing going on, hn. Tohru is a sweet girl yeah but not really my style, hn. She's the type of girl you have a serious relationship with, hn. Not something I'm looking for at the moment, hn. Besides, you _know_ she's a cherry, you have to put _way_ too much work into bedding cherries, hn."

"Can we _not_ discuss our housekeeper's virginity while I'm eating breakfast," Itachi said, looking ill…or annoyed…it was hard to tell with Itachi.

* * *

"So what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Kakuzu hissed. He hadn't found out until that morning that Sasori had invited himself. Torhu seemed happy to have his company so he couldn't really refuse but now that Tohru was distracted by a little vendor selling handbags, he could interrogate him.

"I specifically told Hidan the bet would be off if anyone interfered."

"I'm hardly interfering," Sasori stated calmly, far from being intimidated by the taller man. "In fact I'm sure I'll be more help than harm. If it was just you and Tohru I can guarantee that this little date would have failed."

"Help?...Wouldn't that be like working against yourself?" he sneered.

"I paid for a show and I intent to get my money's worth."

"We're not your fucking puppets," Kakuzu growled.

"No?" Sasori smirked. "By the way Tohru's just wandered off with some man, you might want to check into that."

Kakuzu spun around his eyes darting to where Tohru had been standing a moment before, she wasn't there. He scanned through the crowd; it was actually sunny out today, which was rare so there were quite a few people around. He finally spotted her just before she rounded a corner walking side by side with a young purple-haired man.

'_Konan will fucking kill me if something happens to Tohru'_ he thought as he took off after the two.

When he caught up with them they were simply standing there, talking.

"Tohru," Kakuzu bit out harshly.

Tohru turned and smiled as if nothing was wrong. "Kuzu-kun, look."

Tohru lifted the small fluff of orange she had been holding so Kakuzu could see, oblivious to the young-mans sudden discomfort upon seeing Kakuzu.

"Isn't it cute?"

The fluff wiggled a little and mewed.

"No," Kakuzu glared.

Tohru's face fell as she cradled the kitten against her chest. "You don't think it's cute?"

"We're not getting a kitten."

"But..."

"No."

"I would…"

"No."

"It's okay," the man said softly, his amethyst eyes staring gently at Tohru. "If your father doesn't agree I don't think you should go against his wishes."

"Father!" Kakuzu sputtered.

Kakuzu grabbed the kitten by the scruff of its neck and shoved it back towards the man. Before Tohru could protest he gripped her by her wrist and began dragging her away. He needed to get away before he killed that...boy.

* * *

"So what did you do to make Tohru so upset?" Sasori asked a little while after Tohru disappeared back to where the dressing rooms where located. Her mood had considerably brightened once they entered one of Tohru's favorite clothing stores but Sasori had noticed how distraught she was after Kakuzu had brought her back.

"I wouldn't let her have a kitten," Kakuzu grumbled as he sat down on one of the sofa's provided for poor saps waiting on a shopping crazed woman, like themselves.

"You actually denied a girl a kitten?" Sasori asked, sitting beside Kakuzu. "You really are heartless…metaphorically speaking. You're going to have to come up with something good to redeem yourself after something like that."

"I don't know Konan's policy on pets."

Torhu emerged from the dressing rooms wearing a lilac colored sun-dress with little white flowers embroidered along the bottom. Once she spotted them sitting on the couch she walked over and did a little twirl in front of Sasori, pointedly ignoring Kakuzu.

"Very pretty," Sasori smiled.

"You could at least take an interest," Sasori said quietly once Tohru scampered off to the dressing rooms again.

"And what do you propose I say?" Kakuzu asked sarcastically. "Stupid fucking puppet."

"At the very least tell her she looks nice."

Tohru emerged a few minutes later wearing yet another dress; they all looked the same in Kakuzu's opinion. Tohru did another twirl and Sasori nodded and smiled, giving Kakuzu a chance to say something, anything.

A million different things he could say ran through Kakuzu's head but he couldn't bring himself to say any of them. He wasn't really the type to compliment a girl on her appearance. Just as he thought he would be able to manage something, Tohru was gone again.

"You're going to lose this bet," Sasori sighed with a hint of irritation.

"Look it said I needed to take her out somewhere," Kakuzu growled, not realizing what he was saying. "So here we are, it didn't say anything about fucking complimenting her."

"It?"Sasori asked, giving him a confused look. "Someone or something is giving you advice?"

"No," Kakuzu snapped.

"But you just said…"

"Drop it."

"Well whatever this 'it' is it's giving you terrible advice."

* * *

Kakuzu glared at anything and everything, trying to keep himself from watching Torhu through the storefront window across from him and Sasori.

They had finished up at the last store but Tohru had requested one more stop as long as the two of them agreed not to follow her in. At first he hadn't understood why until they came up to a store lined with wall to wall 'intimate apparel' as Tohru had called it.

"I can't believe they actually got her to agree to _that_ one," Sasori commented in amusement. Unlike Kakuzu, he didn't have a problem with watching. "Ah, and the matching panties as well."

Though he told himself not to, Kakuzu found himself looking through the window at Tohru. There was a salesman with long silver hair holding a rather racy looking pink and black bra against Torhu through her shirt as another salesman with short dark hair held up a pair of matching panties that didn't seem like they would cover anything.

Tohru was blushing but still nodding in agreement to whatever the silver haired man was saying. Kakuzu felt his throat go a little dry; it was hard not to picture Tohru in the matching set when they were being held up against her like that.

"I'm going to go check on something," Kakuzu said, his voice going a little hoarse. "Keep an eye on the bags and…Tohru."

Sasori smirked knowingly. "I never thought you'd the type to run away at the thought of seeing a girl in lingerie. You really are going to lose this bet."

"Like that skinny _little_ _girl_ could ever do anything for me in that department," Kakuzu said cruelly. "She doesn't have a whole lot to offer."

Sasori's eye's narrowed. It was inexcusable to insult an innocent person just because you wanted to lie to yourself about an obvious attraction. "Fine, go do whatever you wanted to do. I think I shall go rescue Tohru from being molested any further and make a few suggestions of my own on her purchases. Then I think I shall go find that man with the kittens."

"What happened to not interfering?"

"I don't think it's interfering to assure that Tohru is enjoying herself and seeing as you are obviously inapt to do it yourself I have no choice to step in to fill in for your inadequacies. How does it feel to know that a puppet can outdo you in terms of romance?"

Kakuzu snapped. In an instant he had Sasori pressed up again the wall by his neck. "Say one more fucking word, I dare you."

"Actually I think I'll say several," Sasori laughed bitterly, the hand against his throat having no affect. "Because I think you need a bit of perspective. If you keep up this attitude that Tohru is nothing, that's what she'll continue to be…nothing. At this point in time the third Kazekage, lifeless on my workbench, has more of a chance than you do with that _little girl_."

"Done lecturing me?" Kakuzu grumbled, his hand falling away from Sasori's neck, his anger strangely pacified by his words.

"Sometimes the puppets need to be set in order when they stray from the script," Sasori hummed under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."

* * *

Tohru sighed as she flopped down onto her bed. The day hadn't turned out quite like she had hoped. First there had been the whole incident with the kitten. She knew she was being a bit immature, giving Kakuzu the cold shoulder because he wouldn't let her have it but he didn't have to be so _cruel_ about it. Then he had spent the rest of the day acting like he didn't want to be there until he and Sasori had gone against her wishes and invaded the lingerie store, _then_ suddenly he seemed quite happy to be there. The two women that had walked in right behind them probably had a lot to do with his change of mood.

Tohru felt a little twinge of jealousy at the thought. Not really because Kakuzu had been, rather obviously, interested in them but because it only proved that what the two women had been talking about had been true.

Tohru had been sent back to the dressing rooms to try on yet another bra Sasori insisted she needed. She would die if anyone actually saw her in it but she did have to admit it had been pretty. When she got into her dressing room she hadn't even had a chance to take her shirt off before she heard the two women talking in the room next to hers.

"Those two out there are some pretty sweet eye-candy," woman A said.

"I know right," woman B gushed. "The tall dark one's a little creepy…but hot. I think stitches might become a new fetish."

"Yeah, but I think the redhead is gay," woman A sighed.

Woman B laughed, "Why do you say that?"

"He's like playing dress up with that girl."

"You mean pre-pubescent boy?" Woman B snorted.

"Totally, I don't know how she thinks she can pull off some of the things she's been taking into the dressing room. No bra is going to make those bee stings look any more appealing."

Tohru wasn't sure what was more humiliating, what the women were talking about or the fact that they were talking loud enough that she was sure that Sasori and Kakuzu had of heard. She had been so mortified that she had gathered up all of her 'plain' selections, paid for them, and left without even waiting for Sasori and Kakuzu. She had refused to say anything the entire way home.

The sound of her door opening brought Tohru back from her melancholy thoughts. She didn't even have to look up to know who it was; there was only one person that would ever enter her room without knocking…

"Konan-sama," Torhu smiled, still staring up at her ceiling.

Konan closed the door and sat on the edge of Tohru's bed. "Hello Tohru, I just wanted to see how your date went."

Tohru sat up slowly, a confused and a little disturbed look on her face. "D-date?"

"Well I heard Sasori decided to tag along, but I thought it could still be considered a date. I was a little surprised when Kakuzu asked if he could take you somewhere but I have to admit I'm a little glad to see you're giving up on Deidara."

A slew of incoherent words fell limply from Tohru's mouth.

'_Wait…but he …Konan-sama said…but…if that's what he meant…he wasn't very happy to see that Sasori…but…no…a date…so he's been…not just because he's…so Sasori was right…no…'_

Tohru was pretty sure her brain had just been fried; she couldn't even get her thoughts to come out cohesively.

Konan arched a brow, a little concerned about the girl. She looked like she was about to pass out. "Tohru?"

"He meant it as a date?" Tohru finally managed to squeak out.

"No?" Konan tried, realizing she may have just said something she shouldn't have.

Tohru slumped, burying her face in her hands as it all set in. She was now upset for completely different reasons."I was so horrible to him," she said, her voice a little muffled. "I don't think I could ever think of him in that way…but still…I can't imagine what it would be like to try taking someone on a date and have them purposely give you the cold shoulder treatment just because they wouldn't let you have a kitten."

"Kitten?"

Tohru pulled her hands away from her face, giving Konan a miserable look. "Only terrible people do things like that."

Konan smiled gently, the poor girl looked on the verge of tears. She doubted Kakuzu was completely devastated, as Tohru seemed to think. But…he had been on his way out of the base when she had been coming in, and he did look to be in a particularly bad mood. Then again he wasn't wearing anything to cover his face, so he could just always look like that…

"Tohru, I wouldn't worry too much about it."

* * *

Kakuzu lifted the small ball of orange fur so he was eye to eye with it. "If you don't stop moving around I'll feed you to Zetsu."

He didn't want to admit it, but he felt a little bad for Torhu. What those two bitches had been saying…

'_Like you hadn't been implying the same thing moments earlier.' _

He hated feeling guilty, that's why he usually avoided the feeling at all costs. He looked down at the little kitten he held in one arms, then down to the bag he held in his hand.

'_Guilt can lead you to do some pretty stupid shit.'_

Luck had been on his side though. He had found the guy giving away the kittens, who…with a little persuasion had handed over the kitten Tohru had been interested it. Never in his entire life had he imagined that he would ever find himself threatening someone for a cat. Not only had he gotten the stupid cat but also…in what he was calling a momentary bout of insanity… ended up at the lingerie store. The two men that had been 'helping' Tohru had been more than eager to gather the items Tohru had decided not to get…and more. But since he had refused to pay attention to the number of different things Sasori had been pushing Tohru to get he couldn't really discern what belonged and what didn't…Actually he wasn't even sure what all they had crammed into the bag. He did know one thing though…

'_That cost way too fucking much…Could think of it as a future investment…then it might be worth the money.'_

Kakuzu shuddered, whatever madness Tohru and Sasori were suffering from had to of rubbed off on him during the day.

"You're seriously playing the fucking cute animal card?" Hidan nearly shouted the moment Kakuzu walked through the front door.

"Fuck off Hidan," Kakuzu warned through gritted teeth

"What's in the bag?" the shirtless idiot asked, walking out of the living room to follow Kakuzu.

"I said _**Fuck off**_!"

"You walk in carrying a kitten and a pink bag and you expect me not to be curious?"

"I swear to god I will cut you up into so many pieces that _**no one**_ will be able to put you back together again!" Kakuzu roared.

"I-Is everything okay?" Tohru asked meekly, popping her head out of her room.

Hidan strained his neck trying to peek into the bag. His eyes went wide once he caught sight of something lacey looking. "Holy shit, is that…"

He was cut off by a swift kick to the groin. "You limp-dick son of a whore," Hidan winced as he slid to his knees.

Tohru almost fell backwards when Kakuzu forced his way into her room, slamming the door behind him.

"This," he ground out holding the kitten up. "Is so you'll stop this little fucking tantrum you're having."

Tohru stared wide-eyed at the little kitten he held in his firm grasp.

"Take it," he said sharply. "Unless you don't want it anymore in which case I'll…"

She reached out and took the kitten quickly, cradling it in her arms.

'_He actually went back to get it for me…I'm sure it must have taken him a while to find…'_

Kakuzu held the pink bag out to her. "You shouldn't listen to what dumb bitches say…you shouldn't listen to what anyone says."

'_But that bag…that's from…so he…'_

Even with just the kitten she had been close to tears but this…

'_I'm not going to cry…I won't cry…'_

Kakuzu relaxed a little when he saw her eyes staring to mist over. He had to remind himself that he wasn't pissed off with Hidan…not Torhu.

"Don't start crying," he sighed.

Tohru nodded a little then did something Kakuzu hadn't expected. Rather than taking the bag from him she took a few steps and hugged him with one arm while holding the kitten in the other.

"I'm sorry."

Kakuzu grimaced, looking down at her. As if she was toxic he gripped her forearm between his thumb and forefinger and pulled it away.

Tohru stepped back slightly and smiled at him.

"Uh, right," he said uncomfortably. "For tonight just…I don't know…do something with the cat and I'll take you to go get what you need for it tomorrow."

Tohru nodded, still smiling.

* * *

With Kakuzu long since gone and the Kyo, the kitten, content with poking around her room Tohru set out to put away the contents of the bag Kakuzu had left.

'_He's not so bad,'_ she mused. _'The whole date thing still weirds me out a little, I don't think I want to go in __**that**__ direction…but he's nice…or can be at least…a little unusual that he went and bought me bras and panties…but I guess I can kinda follow his line of thought behind doing so… I don't remember trying this one on…'_

Tohru held up a blue bra that she had looked at but hadn't taken to the dressing room.

"What do you think Kyo?" Tohru asked, giggling when the kitten mewed in response. "Hn, it is pretty."

Tohru finished pulling everything out of the bag before noticing the jumble of lace at the bottom. It took a moment to sort out what went where but finally she realized what she was looking at.

'_I think that's going a little far.'_

She stared in horror at the…she wasn't even sure what to call it, spread out on her bed. It had a silk collar that buttoned at the back, from that there was a wide strip of lace that V'd out to cover the breasts then came back together back into one piece, traveling down to a pair of lace thong underwear.

She was sure that every ounce of blood in her body was now in her face. The room suddenly began to sway and she could feel herself toppling backwards.

* * *

"You're a dirty old man," Hidan sniggered from his spot opposite Kakuzu on the couch.

"Hidan," Kakuzu said tightly. "I'm not going to bother explaining the situation to you, but I assure you it's not what you think."

Kisame, from his position on the loveseat, groaned slightly. "I don't want to know."

_**Thud**_

All three men jumped a little at the sound.

"What the fuck was that?" Hidan asked, looking at the other two as if they would somehow magically know.

"Sounded like it came from Tohru's room," Kakuzu muttered.

"Aren't ya gonna go check on your little girlfriend?" Hidan laughed.

"No."

"Someone needs to make sure she's okay," Kisame said.

Both Hidan and Kakuzu turned to look at Kisame expectantly.

"Lazy bastards," Kisame grumbled as he stood up and made his way out of the living room.

'_Wait…if Tohru has been busy with that stupid cat there's a slim chance she still hasn't put away…' _

Kakuzu's body tensed when he spotted Hidan's wicked grin. He knew the dipshit had just thought something similar.

"I suddenly feel very concerned about Tohru," Hidan said with an eerie calmness before making a mad dash out of the living room calling out for Kisame to wait.

"Fuck!" Kakuzu growled, bolting out after him.

Kisame was just about to push open Tohru's door because she hadn't answered after he knocked when a fighting jumble of Hidan and Kakuzu flew into him, sending all three men barreling into Tohru's room.

"Kinky!" Hidan cackled, making a grab at the scraps of lace on Tohur's bed.

"Shit you move fast," Kisame mumbled giving Kakuzu a look that was a mix of disgust and awe.

Tohru groaned as she sat up, rubbing her head. As her eyes blinked into focus she was met with the sight of Hidan holding up the cause of her little episode, Kisame staring at Kakuzu, and Kakuzu giving an appalled look at what Hidan was holding.

All the blood that had finally dispersed itself back through her body came rushing back to her face.

"Out!" she shrieked and continued to shrieking until the three did as she said…or screamed.

* * *

**AN: Well that was fun. You have no idea how long I sat here trying to think of something racy enough to warrant that kind of reaction…ended up having to refer to a piece I actually own. It should be noted that husbands get a little put down when their wife is typing away then suddenly stops to go rummaging through their lingerie… pull out one of their favorites…stare at it for a little bit…then go back to typing.**

**Anywho. Thank you all so much for reviewing, it helps motivate me to write more….HAHAHA I'm so pathetic…I sit there waiting to make sure at least someone likes the previous chapter before I can even start coming up with ideas for the new one. NOT A BEGGING FOR REVIEWS…just letting you all know how much they mean to me. ^_^….awww wasn't that heartfelt…oh yes…sniffle…MOVING ON…next chapter should be another fun one.**


	5. Chapter 5: Babies?

**_Chapter 5: Babies!_**

* * *

**AN:** Weeeeell…it was bound to happen at least once…In true Naruto fashion…a random flashback to give further information on a characters past. Actually I just really didn't like that I hadn't given enough info on why and how Tohru ended up as the Akatsuki housekeeper. It didn't take up the entire chapter though…sorry (not really) if this pisses anyone off.

Also…I'm not sure if they ever give a name to Kakuzu's previous parter, soooo I named him Hisha. Kakuzu's name comes from Kakugyo, bishop from the game Shoji…so I thought Hisha would be fitting because (I'm unoriginal) it's the rook.

* * *

"That was very kind of you," Konan said gently as she came to stand by the thin brunette standing under a little black umbrella. Normally she wouldn't bother to stop and converse with civilians but today she was looking for someone, and this girl seemed like she could be what she needed.

"He looked hungry," the young woman smiled.

"As do you."

"I'm…no I get by. I at least have somewhere to sleep tonight."

Konan nodded slightly, "So you have a family?"

"No," the girl shook her head, her bangs swishing across wide eyes. "But I make enough here that I can afford a room at a boarding house."

Konan glanced back at the small restaurant they stood outside of, "Are you a waitress?"

"No, I help in the kitchen."

"You know how to cook then?"

The girl nodded happily. "I'm starting to get pretty good at it; they say they might make me a full cook rather than just an assistant."

"Are you satisfied with that?"

The girl shrugged a little. "I suppose I am, it will mean more of a salary."

"What is your name?"

"Tohru, what's your…" Tohru trailed off, finally pulling her umbrella away to look at the face of the woman she was talking to. "You're…you're…"

"God's angel," Tohru finished with a whisper.

"My name is Konan."

"Konan-sama…I'm sorry…I didn't recognize you…I must have seemed so rude…I'm sorry," Tohru babbled.

"Tohru, don't fear what I am about to ask you but please answer truthfully."

Torhu gave a slight nervous nod.

"Do you believe that god is a good leader of this village?"

Tohru remained silent for a moment, giving the question a bit of thought.

"Well," she said finally. "I've never been outside Amegakure but I've heard people say that our village is one to behold and that we're far more developed than any others. So…I think he must be."

She gave a small giggle as she looked up at the cloudy sky. "Now if he could just stop the rain."

Konan smiled; yes this girl could be exactly what she needed. "So you believe that god is just, because you see the result of his leadership in the prosperity of this village? It was before your time but a lot of pain was required for us to reach the point we have now. Many of the steps god had to take could have been considered unjust does that lessen the results?"

"I don't think so. Sometimes pain is required. It's like eating something really bitter knowing that you can have something sweet afterwards…in the end it will make it all the sweeter and the bitterness will be only a memory."

Konan studied Tohru for a few minutes; she could tell the girl believed what she said wholeheartedly. "Tohru, I have a proposition for you. It must be your own decision and you are not obligated to accept. If you do choose to accept you must understand that you will never be allowed to go back on your decision. I require someone to cook and clean and to do whatever else is required of them. You would be working in service to god and would be helping him achieve his ultimate goal in a small but necessary way. You will be given a salary as well as room and board but you will not be allowed to speak of anything that you see or hear. I will not make you decide now; I will give you until tomorrow. Do you understand what I am asking of you?"

Torhu stared up at the blue-haired angel before her. Her presence and gentle voice sunk deep into Tohru. She had been alone for a while now… The prospect of being actually needed and having a home…

"I would be with you?" Tohru asked softly.

"Myself and others yes."

"Every day?"

"I can't promise that I would see you ever day, but you won't ever be alone unless under extreme circumstances."

"Are the others like you?"

Konan laughed a little at that. "Not exactly, they're not conventionally kind but they will not be cruel to you...Especially if you're a good cook."

Tohru opened her mouth to accept but Konan cut her off.

"This is a big decision that will alter your life forever, at least sleep on it. I will meet you here tomorrow."

Before Tohru could say anything back, Konan was gone.

* * *

Tohru stared at her tiny room. She was tired of barley scraping by, she was tired of not knowing what the next day would bring…she was tired of being alone.

She doubted it would be the happy family atmosphere she had initially thought it would be but at least it would be something…she would be needed.

She wasn't even sure what sort of people she would be in service to but honestly she didn't care. Konan-sama would be there even if it wasn't every day. There was something about her that Tohru had instantly grown fond of.

A loud banging on her door startled her.

"Eeeh, Tohru open up," a crackled voice called out. Tohru cringed.

"Just reminding you that rent is due tomorrow," her greasy looking landlord rasped once she opened the door.

"Hai," Tohru said meekly.

"If you're having trouble paying," he said as he licked his cracked lips hungrily. "My offer still stands."

Tohru felt nauseous, it seemed like every time he came for rent he would proposition her.

"I-I'll be able to pay…"

"Oh really?" he said with a sneering glare. "Well I forgot to tell you it's gone up eight fifty...still gonna be able to pay?"

Tohru tightened her jar tightly. "Yes," she said firmly.

"You'll take me up on that offer one day…just you watch," he said coldly as he walked away.

'_No…no more.'_

* * *

"Don't worry about trying to remember how to get here," Konan commented upon seeing Tohru's confused look. "Anytime you go out you will have an escort."

Tohru nodded a little as she took in her surroundings. There was a long hallway running down from the door they had entered in. About midway down the hall there was an archway to her right leading into what looked like a living room. Konan led her further down the hall and motioned to a room on the left.

"This is the kitchen and dining area, you'll be required to make breakfast and dinner but don't worry about lunch," she said before leading her down the hallway that branched to the right from the entry hall.

She stopped at the first door to the right, "This will be your room, you'll have your own bath…everyone does, but I won't require you to clean them all…I wouldn't put you through that. Across from you is Itachi Uchiha, beside his room is Kisame Hoshigaki, and at the end of the hall is Zetsu."

"Your room is beside Hisha's," Konan pointed to the room a little further down from Tohru's. "And across from Zetsu's, at the end, is Kakuzu."

"My office," Konan said and she began to walk further down the hall until she reached the end and turned left down another shorter hall. "Is here."

She opened the door to her left to reveal a small room with a desk, a few bookshelves and two chairs. "Which also leads to my room. Do you have any questions so far?"

"Um, so it's my room, Hisha, Kakuzu, Zetsu, Kisame, and then Itachi?" Tohru asked, as she pointed to each door corresponding with the appropriate name.

"Yes," Konan smiled.

"Okay… And whose room is that?" She asked pointing to a door they had passed before reaching Konan's office.

"It's unoccupied."

Konan waited a moment to make sure Tohru didn't have anything else to ask before walking to the only other door at the end of the hallway. "This will lead you down to the laundry room," she said as she opened the door and motioned for Tohru to go down the stairs that the door concealed.

"Sasori is also down here," Konan said once they reached the bottom of the stairs.

Tohru shivered, deciding in that moment that she much preferred being upstairs. It was dark and bleak looking downstairs. There was a long, cold looking hallway with only three doors and a single light that flickered every so often.

Konan opened the first door, giving Tohru an encouraging smile, "This is the laundry room. You'll need to wash everyone's bedding at least once a week. And because I know none of them have washed their bedding in far too long I'm starting everyone out fresh."

Konan pointed inside the room to the stacks of folded sheets and blankets sitting on a long table in front of a large washer and dryer.

"I will take care of my own bedding, and Sasori doesn't have a bed so you won't have to worry about him either."

"He doesn't have a bed?" Tohru asked in confusion.

"He doesn't need to sleep, nor eat so you don't factor him into meals either."

Tohru's eyes grew wide with slight fear. Whoever this Sasori was, he lived in the creepiest part of the base…he didn't sleep…and didn't eat. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what he was.

"He's the first I would like you to meet," Konan laughed slightly.

Tohru fought not to close her eyes as Konan knocked on Sasori's door which began creaking open slowly. She had been expecting some sort of monster but was met with a…

'_Boy?' _

Tohru's head tilted as she looked at Sasori. She could feel her cheeks tinge a little red…he was actually very cute, and looked to be just about her age.

"Sasori this is Torhu, our new housekeeper," Konan said.

Tohru gave a little bow, "It's very nice to meet you Sasori-sama."

"Just Sasori," he drawled.

"Hai… Sasori."

* * *

Tohru hummed lightly as she finished the last of the dishes left over from breakfast. The morning wasn't going as bad as she thought it would. Kisame and Hidan had sniggered all through breakfast but at least Kakuzu hadn't been there.

She felt a little bad for avoiding him. After the initial shock of it all had worn away she realized that he had looked just as surprised by the little…very little…scraps of lingerie, as she had been. She wasn't sure what it was but there had to be a reasonable explanation to why it had been in her bag.

Earlier that morning he had tried talking to her. She was in her room and when he knocked and asked if she was there she had responded with 'no'.

Tohru blushed a little, he had actually chuckled and told her he would come back later and hopefully then she would be there then.

She still didn't understand the whole date thing either, it made her uncomfortable. Tohru didn't want to admit it but she also felt a little let-down. No-one had ever tried taking her on a date, she would have preferred it had been a certain blonde taking her out instead…but a date was a date, and not just any date…her first date, and she had been completely oblivious.

Tohru groaned, she had talked to Sasori for a little bit about the whole thing. He had asked her if she would have preferred Kakuzu asking her out directly to which she replied with no. He then proceeded to call her judgmental and a little inconsistent, pointing out that a few days earlier she had been determined to be his friend. When she had tried explaining her reasons for not wanting a relationship again, he had cut her off. He asked her if she loved him, even if it was just plutonic, she of course said yes. Sasori after all was the closest thing to a best friend that she had. It had taken a little while to understand the point he was trying to get across but it did eventually set in.

She did love Sasori, very much, regardless of the fact that he too could one day die on a mission. If that were to ever happen, she couldn't see herself regretting her relationship with him.

'_But Kakuzu?'_ Tohru inwardly winced. _'Hnn, maybe Sasori is right, maybe I am being too judgmental.'_

Kakuzu watched as Tohru continued to wash the plate she had been washing for at least five minutes. He had considered saying something to her but with how jumpy she was sometimes he didn't want to risk her dropping the plate. The girl spent way too much time in her head, it was a wonder she ever got anything done.

Today would, or should be fairly easy. He was supposed to think of and write down five things that made him attracted to Tohru and compliment her on them. Minor changes were in order though; there was no way in hell he would ever write them down and he had decided to replace 'attracted to' with 'tolerate'. So far he had only come up with 'she cooks well', but he was sure he could come up with another four and then somehow work compliments into normal conversation so it wouldn't seem like he was complimenting her.

Nothing was going to get anywhere though if she continued cleaning that damn plate. As the seconds ticked by he could feel himself getting impatient.

"I think it's clean," Kakuzu said as he reached around Tohru to take the plate from her.

As he had predicted, she jumped and started floundering like she seemed to like to do and would have dropped the plate if he hadn't taken it. She pushed back from the sink, her back colliding with Kakuzu's chest and stomach, sending her into an even more frenzied state.

He set the plate down in the sink and leaned one hand against the edge of the counter. A small smirk spread across his lips when Torhu tried inching her way sideways to get away from him without having to turn around and look at him.

Before she could make an escape he locked her in with his other arm. Tohru tucked her arms in close to her body and pressed herself forward, almost leaning over the sink, to keep herself from touching him again.

"Ah, Kakuzu-sama?" she stammered. A scene similar to this had played out in one of her books, ending in something she did not want _any_ part of. "W-what are you doing?"

Kakuzu grinned. He leaned forward, but still kept his chest away from her back, he wanted to play with her a little but not give her a heart attack.

"I wanted to let you know that although I technically did buy that lingerie I didn't pick it out," he said calmly and evenly. "I hadn't been aware that the salesmen slipped it in with my purchases."

"O-okay?" she squeaked. She felt a shiver go up her back as she tried telling herself that she didn't like him being so close.

"After you're finished I'll take you to go get whatever you need for the cat," he said as he pulled away. "Either before or after we'll go out for lunch as well."

Tohru's numb confusion melted away, she turned to look at him but he was already heading for the door. His tone and choice of words angered her a little. He wasn't _asking_ her to go to lunch, he was _telling_ her.

'_He's trying to con me into another date.'_

"I can ask Sasori or Deidara to take me," she said with far more confidence than she thought she would have. "I don't appreciate you trying to force me into dates."

Kakuzu stopped but didn't turn around.

'_So she's catching on? Maybe she's not as stupid as I thought. Well this could either be a good or bad thing depending on my reaction…'_

His pride told him to tell her that she should consider herself lucky that he was attempting _anything_ with her at all and she was in no position to be turning _him_ down. If he said that though he knew there would be hell to pay. She didn't seem like the type to respond well to cockiness and anger.

'_No, she doesn't want a bad boy who will treat her like a possession in hopes of one day changing him…She's far too compassionate though…she has a bleeding heart…I'll use that.'_

Kakuzu took a deliberately dejected sounding breath and turned to look at her, giving her his best 'you just killed my puppy' eyes.

"I understand Tohru," he said softly, inwardly grinning at the way her eye's instantly softened. "With a face like mine I can't blame you either."

It was a cruel jab at her overly soft heart, but it worked. She looked completely heartbroken.

'_Sasori was right…I am judgmental…how could I be so cruel…'_

"No, it's just…I would just prefer you asked me," she said gently.

"Ah, well then would you do me the honor of having lunch with me today?" he asked, giving her a small yet calculated smile.

"Of course" she smiled. "I'm almost done here…and…and then I wanted to take a shower."

"Take your time Tohru," he said, turning away and walking out of the kitchen. He glanced to the to Kisame, who he knew had been standing right outside the kitchen to receive the 'you're playing dirty' glare he knew he would get, before heading for his room.

He _was_ playing dirty, he didn't care. Granted he didn't like setting his pride aside like that but at least it had worked.

Torhu remained outwardly calm but inwardly began working her way into a frenzied panic.

'_Wah! Why did I do that?...Because he looked so rejected…Why…why did he have to give me that look…I should have just let him go on thinking that he could get away with tricking me into dates…I shouldn't have said anything…then it would be reasonable for me to pretend that I think he's just friendly…everything could stay neutral…Things _will_ stay neutral…yes…neutral…and everything will be fine…'_

* * *

As Tohru found out, it was easy to remain neutral when the person sitting across from you was eating one of your least favorite foods. Her face twisted in disgust, her mouth opening a little as Kakuzu lifted another bite of pork liver and nara chives to his mouth.

"Are you going to continue looking at me like that?" Kakuzu chuckled, lowering his chopsticks.

"But liver is so gross," Tohru said, eyeing his bowl with distain.

"Have you ever even tried it?"

"No," Tohru admitted. "But just the idea of what it is…"

"You never know you might like it…here," Kakuzu held out the bite he hadn't taken for Tohru to try.

Tohru leaned back staring at the liver as if it would come alive and attack her at any moment. "Uhn," she groaned, shaking her head.

Kakuzu smirked, she looked disgusted but at the same time…it was kind of endearing, if that's what you could call it.

'_Number two on the list of things that make Tohru tolerable: she makes some of the most interesting faces when she's uncomfortable or grossed out.'_

He had worked in complimenting her on her cooking a little after they had left the base. Since that had gone over well he figured he would be more direct with the next.

"It might be an inopportune moment but I must say that you can sometimes be very cute Tohru."

Her mouth sagged a little at the comment, giving Kakuzu an opportunity to shove the liver past her lips. She didn't immediately spit it out like Kakuzu had thought she would but her eyes did start tearing up a little as she sat there completely motionless. She chewed once, shuddered then swallowed, followed by an even more intense full-body shudder.

"Don't like it?" Kakuzu asked innocently.

Tohru shook her head, looking a little green. "I don't see how you eat that."

"It happens to be my favorite."

"So is this whole date thing a way to get back at me for never cooking it?" Torhu asked, it had just been a thought at first but had found its way into her words. She blamed the lingering nausea from eating the liver.

Kakuzu chuckled dryly. "Yes Torhu I wish to _torture_ you with my presence because you never cook my favorite dish."

"I didn't mean it like that," Tohru replied, giving him a small frown.

"M-hmm, if you say so." He was going to play this sympathy card as long as he could.

* * *

"That was very noble of you," Kakuzu said sarcastically. Tohru had practically attacked him to get the check away from him. He could have simply held it up out of her reach, he was quite a bit taller than she was, but she had seemed so persistent. He had been worried that if he did try something like that she would have ended up trying to climb up him to get it.

"Well you did pay for…eh…stuff yesterday so thought it would nice if I paid for lunch," Tohru said sheepishly.

"Yes but when a man offers to pay for lunch you don't jump him like some crazed lunatic to get the check away."

"Sorry."

"You'll just owe me another date to help repair my male ego."

"Huh?"

"It's not really proper for a woman to pay for a meal on a date now is it?"

Tohru mumbled under breath a little but didn't argue.

"So do we have to go to a specialty shop to get what you need for the cat?"

"No we can just go to the grocery store, they should have everything."

"Then why are we going in the opposite direction of where we need to be?" Kakuzu asked tightly.

Tohru stopped walking; giving Kakuzu the wide-eyed confused look she was so good at. "I was following you."

"You where…agh," Kakuzu growled as he steered Tohru around by her shoulders to start walking in the direction they should have been going.

* * *

"I'm guessing you've got yourself a new kitten?" the old woman behind the register asked as she began ringing up everything.

Tohru nodded absently, she was busy running through the mental list of things she would need for Kyo, making sure she had all of it.

"Ah, so are we honing our nurturing skills before we take the plunge into parenthood?" she beamed, looking between Kakuzu and Tohru. "My late husband and I did the same thing before we decided to have our first child."

Tohru nodded again, still off in her own little world.

Kakuzu felt his throat tighten, making him choke violently on air. He had been horrified by the woman's comment and even more so when Tohru agreed.

"Oh it's a little daunting at first but I'm sure you'll be a great parent," the old woman said to Kakuzu, taking his reaction the wrong way.

Tohru, back from Tohru-land, arched a brow. She had never thought of having a kitten as being a parent but maybe the old woman just had a strange way of talking.

"I hope so," Tohru smiled sending Kakuzu into an even more intense coughing fit.

She glanced back, giving Kakuzu a concerned look. He was hunched over, bracing his hands on his knees, still coughing and looking a little sick. "Are you okay Kuzu-kun?"

Tohru paid for her items and they were able to get out of the store without anymore comments that threatened to finally send Kakuzu to his grave.

'_How the fuck did she go from not even wanting to go out for lunch to suddenly wanting kids?'_

"Uh Tohru?" he asked cautiously, not exactly sure what to say to her.

"Hm?" she hummed.

"I…I don't…I mean, I'm not sure what's going though your head right now…but have you completely lost it?"

"Lost what?" Tohru asked, looking up at Kakuzu as they walked.

"I don't want kids," he blurted, his voice cracking a little. "And I don't know where you got the idea that a few dates…meant that I…I wasn't planning on taking things…fuck…what the hell is wrong with you?"

Tohru gave Kakuzu a weird look as she put a little more space between them. "Um, Kakuzu are you feeling well?"

"Am _I_ feeling well? You're the one who agreed with that old woman when she asked if we got a kitten so we would have a little experience before we decided to have a baby!" he nearly yelled, growing more and more agitated.

"No I didn't!" Tohru squeaked, her face turning bright red.

Kakuzu groaned as realization dawned on him. "You didn't hear a word she had said did you?"

"_That's_ what she was talking about!"

"Tohru," Kakuzu ground out, trying to count back from ten in his head. "You _really_ need to stop spacing out like that."

* * *

"So he can get into their dreams?" Tohru asked in a frightened whisper. She had been picking out a movie to watch when Kakuzu had joined her in the living room. He showed no signs of leaving so she had chosen the least romantic looking movie she could find. She was beginning question her judgment.

"Are you sure this is what you want to watch?" Kakuzu chuckled. Tohru was curled up on the opposite side of the couch in her blue short pajama bottoms and baggy Icha-Icha shirt. The movie hadn't been on for very long and she already looked terrified.

"To late now," Hidan said as he walked into the living room. "I'm not sitting through some fucking chick-flick."

"Move," he grumbled, standing in front of Tohru.

"Why?" Torhu murmured, tilting to the side so she could look around Hidan.

"Because," Hidan huffed, stepping to the side to block Torhu's vision again. "I have to sit at a weird angle on the other one and I don't want to sit in the fucking middle of this one."

Tohru grumbled a little but moved to the middle of the couch.

"No," Tohru pleaded with the TV, annoying Hidan. She had been talking for a good majority of the movie. "He can't fall asleep."

Kakuzu glanced over, Tohru was sitting up on her knees with her fists balled up near her mouth. She had grown attached to the character that was just about to become the next victim.

"The beds eating him!" Tohru said, panic lacing her voice as she looked at Kakuzu hoping he could maybe stop what was happening.

Hidan grinned, watching both the TV and Tohru carefully, waiting for the perfect moment. Tohru looked horror stricken as she turned her attention back to the movie. Blood began spewing out of the man eating bed and Hidan chose that moment to pounce. He reached over with both hands and gripped her waist at the same moment he gave a ferocious 'Rhaa'.

Tohru didn't disappoint him with her reaction. She let loose a blood curdling scream, her fists flailing around.

"Hidan," Kakuzu warned.

"Just too fucking easy," Hindan laughed manically.

Tohru, realizing that nothing was trying to get her, gave Hidan a glare as she scooted a little closer to Kakuzu.

"That wasn't nice," she grumbled.

* * *

Lol, Random Kidd…my hubby and I get a kick out of reading your comments. Hopefully this was updated soon enough to save me from getting sacrificed to Jashin. It would ruin my plans of dying by caffeine overdose.


	6. Chapter 6: He's the Blade

Chapter 6: He's the Blade.

* * *

**_AN:_** *Sigh* I'm not sure what to think about this chapter. My hubby said I needed to move things along …ARGH…I'm seriously flipping out worrying that things will go too fast…at least for Tohru…. I'm not saying she is realizing she's in love or anything…I dunno…*Bangs head against keyboard*…I'm beginning to realize WHY I don't like writing characters like her…she's so far from my own personality type that it's hard to try thinking like her…

* * *

_Don't you make a move tonight  
You can only stagger  
Once he's got you in his sight  
You're the one he's after_

He's the blade and you're just paper  
You're afraid cause he's got closer  
You're back-steppin and he's back-stabbing everything in your life

* * *

"Tohru?"

"Hm?"

"I can see up your skirt."

Tohru sat up, quickly smoothing her skirt down. She had been trying to get Kyo out from under one of Sasori's storage closets and hadn't given her position much thought. Her underwear was far from revealing but she could still feel her cheeks heating up.

"Just thought you would like to know," Sasori chuckled. "Unless you were doing it intentionally, then by all means continue and I'll go back to pretending that I'm _not_ looking."

"Pervert," Tohru muttered as she shifted around to bend down again this time without flashing Sasori.

"Maybe…Anyway, was there something you wanted to talk about?"

"No," Tohru said as she stood up, figuring Kyo would come out on his own once he was done exploring. "I'm doing laundry…I always come in here when I do laundry."

"Kakuzu not helping you today?" Sasori asked, taking note of how Tohru's brow furrowed a little.

"No," she mumbled with a small frown.

Sasori's head tilted to one side, she actually looked upset. He had been starting to worry that nothing was going to get anywhere between Tohru and Kakuzu, which would completely spoil his fun, but it looked like he might have been wrong.

"Why?"

Tohru sighed as she walked over and pulled herself up to sit on one of the work tables. The day Kakuzu had taken her out for lunch had been awkward, especially after Hidan had scared her. For the rest of the movie she ended up sitting way closer to Kakuzu than she had intended. The day after that had been rather pleasant though. He tried helping her again but ended up getting in her way more than anything else…though it _had_ been kind of sweet.

Then yesterday…yesterday something changed. He was royally pissed off about something and had snapped at her a few times. After that he ignored her completely. She hadn't realized how much she really did enjoy his company until that had happened.

This morning had been even worse. She hadn't seen him at all and when she went to ask for his bedding he still seemed pissed but now his foul mood was completely directed at her.

"I think he's mad at me about something," Tohru said solemnly.

Kakuzu _was_ pissed. No pissed was too light of a word, he was livid. His book had gone missing the day before. He had checked Hidan's room while the moron was eating a late breakfast but it hadn't been there. On his way out of the room Tohru had asked if he was looking for something, offering to help him and he had gotten a little testy with her. Later she asked if he was okay and it had ended up the same way.

To avoid any other situations that could blow his chances he spent the rest of the day brooding in his room.

Everything would have been fine except…

_'That little fucking whole,'_ Kakuzu growled inwardly. _'She's resistant to any of my **small** advances yet will spread her legs for that fucking blonde pieces of shit.' _

* * *

_(That morning)_

_Kakuzu stepped out of his room, intent on apologizing to Tohru for his attitude the day before. He wasn't sure what excuse he was going to give her but he figured he's come up with something. Just as he raised his hand to knock on her door two voices inside stopped him._

_"Have you ever done this before?" he heard Tohru ask nervously. _

_"No but it's not really that hard to figure out hn," said the other voice…Deidara. _

_"Do you think I'll bleed?" _

_"Maybe, I've heard that some people do and come people don't hn." _

_Kakuzu's eye narrowed, he didn't like the way all this sounded. _

_"Will it hurt?"_

_"Well duh Tohru, hn. You sure you wanna do this hn?"_

_"Yes…no," she groaned. "Yes…okay…just do it quickly."_

_"Hold still if you move around too much it'll only make it hurt more hn."_

_There was a long silence then…_

_"Uh, Deidara…maybe I'm not so sure…Deidara…no…"_

_A little cry of pain echoed out of the room. _

_"Take-it-out-take-it-out-take-it-out!" Tohru whimpered. _

_"Fuck Tohru stop moving you're making it even harder hn," Deidara ground out. "You've gotten this far just hold still so I can finish hn." _

_Kakuzu held back a snarl long enough to get away from the door. Things were complicated enough as it was but if she was starting something, even just physical, with Deidara the bet was over. He had lost. _

* * *

Kakuzu stormed down the stairs to find Sasori. Hidan and Kisame had gone out somewhere and he wasn't bothering Zetsu so that left only the demented little puppet to inform that he wasn't continuing with this wager. He would pay the money then find new and interesting ways to make Tohru's life miserable for making him loose the bet.

Without knocking he pushed Sasori's door open roughly and glared. Tohru was there, looking as sweet and innocent as ever despite of what she had been doing not even three hours earlier. Kakuzu knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he really shouldn't be thinking less of her. She had liked Deidara for a long time but her stupid little happy ending meant that he was losing a good chunk of change.

"H-hi Kakuzu," Tohru smiled uncertainly.

"Tohru," he greeted through clenched teeth.

Her little smile wavered. Kakuzu still looked mad. His mask and hood were back in place which only made the look he was giving her all the colder.

"Have a _productive_ morning?"

Sasori glanced back and forth between the two, very much enjoying this. _'The suspense is terrible…I hope it lasts.' _

"Um, I suppose it was," replied Tohru, more than a little confused. "Deidara pierced my ears for me, the first one hurt but he said it was because I was moving around so much."

Tohru's mouth fell into a pout. "So for the second one he sat on me…he's heavier than he looks."

* * *

_(On the other side of the door)_

_"Have you ever done this before?" Tohru asked nervously eyeing the piece of cork and what seemed like a very…very big needle. _

_"No but it's not really that hard to figure out hn," Deidara replied, kneeling one leg on the bed, facing Tohru, who was sitting on the edge of said bed._

_"Do you think I'll bleed?" _

_Deidara gripped her chin forcing her to look forwards so he would have better access to her ear. "Maybe, I've heard that some people do and come people don't hn." _

_ "Will it hurt?"_

_"Well duh Tohru, hn. You sure you wanna do this hn?"_

_"Yes…no," she groaned. "Yes…okay…just do it quickly."_

_He placed the cork behind her ear and lightly pressed the needle to the skin of her earlobe. Tohru flinched away, her eyes closing tightly. _

_"Hold still if you move around too much it'll only make it hurt more hn."_

_Tohru could feel her heart beginning to lodge in her throat. She had always wanted pierced ears but she wasn't sure if all this was really worth it._

_"Uh, Deidara…maybe I'm not so sure…Deidara…no…"_

_Deidara rolled his eyes and forced the needle through the skin into the cork. Tohru gave a startled cry of pain and pulled away. _

_ "Take-it-out-take-it-out-take-it-out!" Tohru whimpered. _

_"Fuck Tohru stop moving you're making it even harder hn," Deidara ground out, grabbing Tohru's head to keep her steady so he could remove the needle and put in the earring. "You've gotten this far just hold still so I can finish hn." _

_The next ear had gone by in a blur. After he put the little silver stud in Tohru found herself being pushed down onto the bed with Deidara straddling her stomach. _

_"You're heavy," Tohru groaned in a strained breathy voice, it was hard to breathe with him sitting on her like that. _

_"Yeah, yeah, but I'm not going through that again hn. This way you'll stay still hn."_

_In a flash Deidara slipped the cork in place and pierced her ear. Tohru whimpered but remained still allowing him to put the other earring in. _

_"Now that I think of it," Deidara said as he moved off Tohru. "We should have numbed them with ice."_

_Tohru glared._

* * *

Kakuzu's eyes traveled to Tohru's earlobes. Just as she had said, they looked red and freshly pierced. He began to replay what he had heard with this new piece of information…it all fit together.

_'Fuck. So you made an ass out of yourself for nothing.'_

"I need to talk to Sasori," Kakuzu said, cutting of Tohru as she continued to rant about Deidara. If he was there he figured he might as well interrogate Sasori about his missing book. He would worry about explaining himself to Tohru later…he still needed to come up with a believable explanation.

Sasori hid a small smirk as he watched Tohru nod a little bit and walk out of his room, giving Kakuzu an almost hurt look as she passed him. He wasn't sure what was going through Kakuzu's head but whatever it was it was adding delicious drama. He couldn't have planned it better if he had wanted to.

"I'm guessing you're here about your book," said Sasori casually.

"Hand it over," Kakuzu growled. "And I might consider leaving you in one piece."

"You wouldn't touch me knowing Tohru is in the other room."

"I'd make it look like an accident."

"So cliché. But fine, I'll give you back your book once you tell me what _that_ was all about."

"No."

"Then your book will continue to be mysteriously missing, which is a shame because I made a few much needed alterations."

"Alterations?"

"Details."

"I overheard her and Deidara this morning and jumped to the wrong conclusions."

"You thought they were…oh that's good," Sasori laughed as he opened one of his storage cabinets. "What about yesterday?"

"I was pissed off because I couldn't find the damn book."

"_Here_." Sasori pulled Kakuzu's book from the cabinet and tossed it onto the worktable.

"So _why_ did you feel the need to _alter_ it?" Kakuzu bit out as he flipped through the pages, noticing that almost all of them had notes scribbled in red ink.

"Because I didn't think this was getting anywhere as quickly as I would have liked…and I couldn't resist the opportunity to practically script everything out to my own satisfaction."

"She's going to hate you if she finds out about all of this."

"She _will_ find out eventually, there is no _if_."

"So you're willingly throwing away your friendship with her?"

"She'll hate me at first but in the end, if everything goes according to plan, she'll understand my reasons."

"And what _is_ your little plan," Kakuzu asked dryly.

"That isn't for the puppets to know," Sasori tittered.

"You really are a weird little freak."

"And a pervert according to Tohru," Sasori sighed, waving the comment away lazily.

"Why does Tohru think you're a pervert?"

"We're getting off subject. Back to the book; push back what I had listed for today. I had misjudged Tohru's already blooming affections for you."

"Eh?"

Sasori sighed, did he seriously _not_ notice the way she had been looking at him? "Tohru is on the doorstep of realizing that she is becoming very fond of you. Today, with everything that's happened, would be the perfect opportunity to give her a little nudge through that door."

"And how do you suggest I do that?" Kakuzu asked sarcastically though part of him really did want to know. "I still don't know what to tell her about yesterday and this morning."

"A lie is most effective when it's the truth given in a deceptive way. Tell her you were upset because you overheard them this morning and thought they were doing something else. She'll assume you acted the way you did because you were jealous. As for yesterday, just say I had 'borrowed' something from you without asking you first and you were frustrated because you couldn't find it."

"And if she asks what you had _borrowed_?"

"She won't."

Kakuzu shifted a little. He didn't like taking advice from Sasori, but what he said so far had made sense…and he _did_ know Tohru very well…

"What should I say to '_nudge her'_?"

A slow smile spread across Sasori's lips. "You might not have to say anything at all; there are other far more effective ways to make your intentions known."

Kakuzu glared, unsure of what Sasori was talking about.

"You could always kiss her," Sasori offered once he realized Kakuzu wasn't catching on.

"No," Kakuzu snapped.

"Of _course_, because kissing a relatively attractive young woman is just _so_ much of an inconvenience," Sasori sighed. "I feel I should remind you that after today you're looking at only twenty three days left. If you get sent out on a mission, especially a long mission, you're pretty much screwed."

* * *

"Aren't you a day early?"

Tohru jumped, nearly sending her off the side of the dryer she was sitting on. She had been so into her book that she hadn't noticed when Kakuzu walked in.

"H-huh?" she squeaked.

"The laundry, aren't you off by a day?" he clarified. His voice was softer than it had been earlier but it was still hard for Tohru to judge his mood with most of his face covered.

"Um, I got a lot done yesterday so I thought I would get it out of the way."

Kakuzu nodded and moved to stand in front of the dryer, leaning back against the table she used for folding.

"Yesterday," Kakuzu said slowly, he was never good at apologizing. "I had been looking for something and couldn't find it, I was frustrated and took it out on you…I'm sorry."

"Did you find it?" Tohru asked, giving him a smile. She was relieved to know it hadn't been something she had done.

"Sasori," Kakuzu grumbled.

"Oh."

Kakuzu chuckled a little and shook his head as he pulled his mask and hood off. "And then this morning, I went to apologize for yesterday and overheard you and Deidara. It sounded like you two were doing something…other than piercing your ears."

"What did you think-"

"It sounded like you and Deidara had suddenly become…physical," he strained, cutting her off. Now standing there face to face with Tohru the absurdity of it all came crashing down on him.

"Like…"

"Yes."

Tohru's eye grew wide and her face took on an unnatural shade of red. Sex with Deidara? She couldn't see that ever happening. She liked him, but he had always found ways of making it clear that they were just friends and would never be anything more.

_'Was he jealous?' _she wondered, remembering back to earlier. He had pretty much pulled a Hidan and thrown his bedding at her when she asked for it. A warm feeling fluttered around her chest at the idea of Kakuzu actually being upset over what he had thought was going on.

The night they had watched that scary movie she had come to the realization that she _did_ like that someone was after _her_ rather than the other way around. When she first came to the base she had developed a crush on Sasori until he had caught on, sat her down and explained what he was and that he was flattered but thought it would be best if she directed her affections else ware. A few months later Deidara had joined them and she had done just that.

Now she was stuck trying to sort out the jumbled mess inside her head regarding Kakuzu. The less rational side of her brain said to take what Kakuzu seemed to be offering the more rational side said that she only wanted him because it was another case of misdirected affections. She wasn't sure if there was anything specifically about Kakuzu that she liked, there was a possibility that anyone in could be standing in his place right now and she'd still be going though the same thing.

The buzzer on the dryer went off startling Tohru from her thoughts. Before she could slide off Kakuzu stepped forward and nudged her legs out of the way with the back of his hand so he could open the dryer door. He pulled out one sheet and took one edge, giving the other to Tohru.

"I'm sorry you thought that we where…" Tohru trailed off, blushing again as they began folding the sheet. "But I'm glad everything's been cleared up. I was worried you were going to stay mad at me."

"You were worried?" Kakuzu smirked. "And here I was under the impression you didn't like me."

"No," Tohru mumbled, trying not to meet his gaze. "I…I like where all of this is…or was…"

Tohru groaned, she wasn't making any sense.

Kakuzu's smirk broke into a full grin.

_'So the puppet was actually right. She _is_ starting to come around.'_

He brought his two corners of the sheet forward, lining them up with Tohru's. Instead of reaching down and grabbing the other two corners he leaned forward, allowing his cheek to barley graze Tohru's.

"Is," he corrected her, his mouth so close to her ear that his lips almost brushed against it.

He pulled back and reached down to continue folding.

"Breath Tohru," he chuckled, noticing the way her face was beginning to turn purple as she sat there dumbly holding the sheet.

* * *

"She's not allowed to play for you anymore!"

"Shut up Hidan, you're just mad because she's kicking your ass hn."

"Beginners luck!" Hidan wailed.

"Hidan will you just deal the next hand," Kisame groaned.

"Panties!" Hidan shouted pointing at the TV screen. "Time for another shot!...Tohru, you too…if you wanna play you gotta play by our rules."

"Getting her intoxicated isn't going to change the fact that you suck at poker."

"Suck my fucking cock Itachi!"

"Unlike _you_ I don't swing that way," Itachi sneered.

"I'll kill you!"

"Deal the fucking cards Hidan!" Kisame yelled.

"What the hell is going on?" Kakuzu hissed, appearing suddenly in the archway leading to the living room. Hidan was standing and pointing threateningly at Itachi who was sitting on the loveseat. Kisame was sitting on the couch with his legs propped up on the coffee table to keep Hidan from charging at Itachi. Deidara was sitting on the floor on the other side of the coffee table next to Tohru with his hands firmly placed over her ears.

"Poker," Kisame grumbled as he shifted slightly, and lifted one leg to kick at Hidan.

Hidan slapped away Kisame's leg and sat back down. "Would have invited you to join the _fun_ but everyone knows your wallet is tighter than Touhru's…"

"Hidan!" Deidara snapped, pressing his hands a little harder against Tohru's ears, causing her to wince.

"Sorry," he offered sheepishly, pulling his hands away. "Forgot about your ears."

"Panties!" Hidan shouted again before taking a shot of hanazake then hastily filling Tohur's little glass.

Tohru shuddered at the smell of the clear liquid but held her nose and downed it as quickly as possible, trying not to gag.

"You don't have to keep doing that," Deidara said.

"I feel a little fuzzy but I'm okay," Tohru smiled.

Kakuzu watched on. He was torn between going back to his room and ignoring the racket they were making or staying to make sure nothing got out of hand. Tohru seemed to be doing okay; he was a little more worried about Kisame and Hidan. The whole situation seemed volatile. Deidara hated Itachi, Hidan hated everyone, Kisame liked to pick fights, and Tohru…well Tohru loved everyone…it was asking for trouble.

He grumbled a little but sat down next to Tohru.

"You gonna play old man?" Hidan asked.

"No one is going to play if you don't deal the fucking cards!" Kisame yelled.

Kakuzu sighed, it was already starting. "No, I'm not playing Hidan," he said as calmly as possible. "Just making sure no one gets sent through a wall again."

"Hidan disserved that," Kisame muttered.

"You were blubbering like a baby!" Hidan shot back.

"Wha! No-one loves me because I'm blue and I look like a fucking fish!" Hidan cried mockingly.

"I think Kisame-sama is very handsome," Tohru stated with a smile, momentarily shutting everyone up.

_'Maybe she's not doing as well as I thought,' _Kakuzu mused, noticing just then how the bridge of her nose and tops of her cheeks sported the tale-tale 'I'm tipsy' blush.

"I think Kisame-sama is very handsome," Hidan repeated in what was supposed to be a girly tone.

"Really?" Tohru asked, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

Deidara rolled his eyes and placed his hands back over Tohru's ears again, hoping to block out some of the colorful curses being thrown her way.

Kisame took Hidans rather animated outburst as an opportunity to swipe the deck of cards from him.

"Tohru still playing for you?" he asked Deidara who shrugged a little then nodded. "Okay, everyone else except Kakuzu is in right?"

"Just deal the fucking cards Kisame," Hidan sneered as he sunk back further into the couch, glaring at Tohru.

As the cards were being dealt Tohru began fidgeting. She would shift from one position, stay for a second then shift to another.

"You okay?" Deidara asked, beating Kakuzu to the question.

"She knows she's going down this time," Hidan grumbled.

"No," Tohru whimpered. "Either my legs fall asleep or my tushy falls asleep."

"Tushy," Kisame snorted.

"You could always…" Deidara trailed off, gaping as Kakuzu gripped Tohru by her hips and hauled her into his lap, flashing the blonde a small but triumphant smirk. Tohru was warming up to him but Kakuzu still felt the need to take Deidara out of the picture. Then there would be _nothing_ between him and winning the bet.

Tohru stiffened a little but didn't fight him. Normally she would have been a total panicky wreck but the alcohol was working its magic.

"I was going to suggest sitting with Itachi," Deidara said, shaking his head. "No need to get territorial."

"Huh?"

"Nothing Tohru," Deidara sighed. "How much have you had to drink?"

Tohru's brows furrowed as she tried counting the number of shots Hidan had put in front of her since she had started playing with them.

"If you don't know then that's too many," Deidara said as he took her shot glass and placed it in front of himself.

"Kay," Tohru said as she pulled her cards from the table.

Kakuzu eyed the cards from behind Tohru, beginners luck was an understatement. She had a very high straight flush. Tohru leaned to the side a little to show Deidara the cards and then returned to her original position.

"A-hah bitch, you're not going to beat this one!" Hidan cackled.

"You do realize the point of the game is to _not_ give anything away right?" Itachi drawled.

Hidan ignored him as he hummed under his breath in a high-pitch psychotic sort of way.

Kisame and Itachi eventually folded, leaving only Tohru and Hidan.

"Straight flush," Hidan grinned as he slammed his cards down onto the coffee table. He held an eight, a nine, a ten, a jack, and a queen all in diamonds.

Tohru smiled and placed her own cards down, a nine, a ten, a jack, a queen, and a king all in hearts.

"Fuck!"

"I could play for _you_ the next round," Tohru offered, feeling a bit bad for Hidan.

"I've gotta take a piss," Hidan announced ignoring her.

"Mind if I go to bed then Deidara?" Tohru yawned.

"You don't have to ask me for permission hn," he chuckled.

"Just making sure you didn't want me to keep playing for you," Tohru mumbled as she tried finding a somewhat graceful way of staggering off Kakuzu's lap.

Deidara, seeing her dilemma helped her up, giving Kakuzu a similar smile to the one he received earlier.

Kakuzu glared. "Sleep well Tohru, and don't forget our dinner _date_ tomorrow."

"I won't," Tohru smiled. "Thanks for…being a good chair?"

* * *

"So what's going on between you two hn?" Deidara asked as he followed Tohru into her room.

Tohru gave a little sigh as she sat down on her bed, nudging a sleeping Kyo out of the way. "I don't even know," she groaned.

"Do you like him hn?"

"Of course I like him; I like everyone…even Zetsu."

"Not like that hn, do you _like_ him?"

Tohru blushed a little as she buried her face in her hands trying to hide it. "I don't know," she whimpered. Deidara was the last person she wanted to talk to about Kakuzu.

"I think you do know and you just don't want to tell me hn," Deidara pressed, sitting beside her.

"Maybe."

"You can tell me anything Tohru hn," Deidara smiled.

"Not this."

"Why hn?"

"I like you Deidara…you should know that…or I did…I don't know."

"I know," he said gently.

"But I understand that you don't…"

"We would make a dynamite couple Tohru…in like ten years hn. It's just, I don't know where I'm going with the Akatsuki, I'm still learning a lot of things hn…I would end up hurting you and I don't want to risk our friendship hn."

"I'm okay with that; I have been for a while. But then all this started up with Kakuzu…I just don't know if I'm using him as a substitute."

Deidara snorted at the idea of Tohru _using_ Kakuzu. "Tohru you're not the kind of girl to use someone hn…or settle for someone hn," he laughed.

"It's not funny," Tohru muttered.

"I can't help it…girls are just so weird sometimes hn."

Tohru pulled her hands away to glare at him.

"So what makes you think you're using him as a substitute hn?"

"I liked that he was interested in me but I didn't necessarily like him. Then yesterday he seemed like he was mad at me…I was hurt by the idea that he could just go back to ignoring me like he used to…I didn't want him to..."

"It just sounds like you realized you like him, that doesn't make him a substitute though hn."

"But it just came out of nowhere."

"And hn?"

"It's not supposed to work like that," Tohru huffed.

"Says who hn?" Deidara laughed. "Those silly books you read hn? I hate to break it to you sweetie but things don't happen the way they do in those stories hn."

Tohru still looked unconvinced.

"Here, let's try something hn. Try envisioning the last encounter you've had with Kakuzu where it seemed like your attraction to him was at its strongest hn."

Tohru's mind instantly wandered to the night she had been tracing Kakuzu's face while he was 'sleeping'. She felt the same fluttering sensation she had felt when she found out why Kakuzu had been so upset with her.

"Now try putting…anyone in his place hn."

Several different faces passed through her mind, none having the same effect until she thought of the blonde beside her. The feeling was there, but not as strong as she thought it would be and there wasn't the same burning warmth she felt around Kakuzu.

"So, what do you think hn? Maybe those books _don't_ know what they're talking about after all hn?"

"Maybe," Tohru murmured.

* * *

Kakuzu smirked cockily from the other side of the door.

_'It's going to be nice not having Hidan doing those stupid fucking rituals for three months. I'll lay on the charm, make her really fall for me…then get her to say she loves me. Too easy, they should have picked out someone a little more difficult than Tohru. It almost doesn't seem fair.'_

* * *

**_AN:_** So she's not in love… not even close…but she is acknowledging that she does have feelings for Kakuzu…I can't really promise that this chapter is gonna stay… BWAH!...I think I'm gonna go kidnap the most naïve sweet friend I have just so I can figure out how her brain works…is that considered illegal?

Oh yeah…BTW for all of you who are 18+ …I got my hands on the body buddy doujinshi…If you like Hidan/Kakuzu…I would check it out…I was giggling like a school-girl while reading it… It's graphic though…so yeah…

Random Kidd- (HAHAHAHAHA you're like the authors pet) Yes, I will do a mini flashback for Deidara…actually I'm probably gonna do one for several people. And Yes I have seen the ring…I slept with the lights on and the TV unplugged…enough said lol


	7. Chapter 7: Monkey?

**_Chapter 7: Monkey?_**

* * *

Deidara loomed over the little figure peacefully asleep in the bed. When Sasori told him to go wake the housekeeper so she could at least show him where the spare bedding was he had expected an old woman, not a young girl. He wasn't sure how to wake her up.

"Uh…hn…"

There was no way in hell he was going back out there to say that he was too scared to wake her up. After the whole thing with Itachi his ego was bruised enough. He mustered up a bit of courage…then poked her.

"No Kisame," she murmured in her sleep. "We don't have any more shrimp."

Deidara felt himself deflate. They were making him do this just to screw with him, he knew it. She probably wasn't even the housekeeper at all. She looked innocent enough but he got the feeling that the moment he did finally wake her she'd reveal some crazy deadly jutsu that would blow him into next week.

'_Get a grip, she's just a girl.'_

He poked her again, a little harder than the first time. Her eye's fluttered open and for a few seconds she simply stared at him trying to get her eyes to focus.

It took a little while but Tohru's brain finally confirmed that whoever had woke her up wasn't someone from the Akatsuki. Too startled to even scream she let out a few strangled squeaks and instinctively starting pushing herself away from him until…

_**Thud**_

Along with her blanket and sheet Tohru went over the side of the bed, landing in a jumbled mess on the floor.

"No-no-no-no," Deidara said quickly as he skirted around to the other side of the bed. "I just need a blanket hn!"

"Here take them," Tohru squeaked holding out the blanket she was still struggling to free herself from. She had never heard of a blanket thief but she supposed there could be weirder things, no… living with the Akatsuki there would _always_ be weirder things.

"Not yours hn," Deidara snorted.

'_Is she for real?'_

"I'm the new member," Deidara said as bent down trying to help Tohru out of the blanket before she ended up killing herself.

"And I'm hoping you're the housekeeper or else I'm gonna feel really stipid hn," he added once she calmed down.

"No…I am," she mumbled still giving him a wary look.

"Good, okay then…Sasori said I needed to wake you up so you could show me where the spare bedding is hn."

Tohru gave him a confused look. "But I already made you're bed."

"You did hn?" Deidara croaked.

"Why do you do that?" Tohru asked, easing up a little.

"Do what?"

"Hn."

"Force of habbit, hn."

"Oh, well did they at least tell you what room was yours?"

"No," Deidara muttered.

"I'll show you," Tohru smiled.

"So are you like a hostage or something hn?" Deidara asked as he followed her down the hall.

"No," Tohru giggled.

"Are you related to someone here hn?"

"No."

"So you're just the housekeeper hn?"

"Just the housekeeper," Tohru smiled, as she opened the door to his room.

"You're bathroom is over there," she said pointing to the door across from his bed. "I have two towels out for you; just let me know if you need more. I wash the bedding weekly, and collect all the laundry every three days. Breakfast is done at eight but if you're not there I'll set aside your plate, I don't make lunch but there is plenty of food in the fridge if you want something, dinner is at six but like breakfast you don't _have_ to eat at that time. Is there anything you specifically don't like to eat?"

"Um…I don't like mixed rice hn?" he said, in a slight bit of awe. He had been expecting a grungy base full of disgruntled criminals instead her got a pretty girl who would do all his laundry and cook him food…it was a pretty sweet setup he had to admit.

Tohru opened her mouth so say something else but a bit of movement coming from Deidara's hand stopped her.

'_Was…was that a tongue?'_

Deidara, seeing her interest, held up both palms and braced himself for either a 'ew', or a shriek, or a look of disgust. To his surprise though, she just looked a little shocked at first and then concerned.

"Um, I…I only put one toothbrush in your bathroom…are you going to need more?" she asked, looking from his hands back to him.

* * *

"They're like two hyperactive squirrels," Kisame complained.

Konan rubbed her temples as she continued to look at the front door. Deidara had been there for two months but she still wasn't sure if it had been wise to allow him to go with Tohru. It was the first time she had been out of the base without her or Sasori, she just hoped Deidara wouldn't lose track of her.

'_It'll be fine.'_

"They're young," Konan sighed, finally looking away from the door.

"Doesn't make them any less annoying," Kisame huffed. "Really not looking forward to hordes of little blonde, blue-eyed, obsessive compulsive cleaning, overly apathetic babies running around."

"What?" Kanan asked, feeling like the breath had just been knocked out of her.

"Bound to happen," Kisame shrugged.

"I think...I think I need to go, check on something," she said before rushing out the door.

Kisame waited until he knew she was away from the door before breaking into a fit of laughter.

* * *

"Okay, I'll get straight to the point," Konan said in dead seriousness, making the girl sitting across from her desk shift uncomfortably in her seat.

"Did I do something wrong Konan-sama?" Tohru asked softly.

"No," Konan sighed, trying to be a little more gentle. She just really did _not_ want to be having this conversation. "These are for you."

Tohru watched as Konan pulled a book and what looked like a little plastic compact mirror from her desk.

"Sadly this is more accurate than any medical journal I could give you," she said, placing the book on the desk, trying hard not to think of _who_ wrote it.

"Icha Icha Paradise?" Tohru asked, taking the book. "Why would I…"

"It's a very graphic romance novel…I'm not sure if you know about…I'm sure you do but just in case you don't…Any question you've had about relations between a man and a woman will be covered in that book."

Tohru stared wide-eyed at Konan but remained silent. The woman was essentially giving her porn.

"Start taking these," Konan said, handing her the little blue plastic 'compact'. "The Sunday after your period starts."

"I don't…I-I-I…I'm not…" Tohru stammered after opening it and seeing what it actually was.

"Might as well be on the safe side," Konan said, giving her a feeble smile. "Birth control does have some medical benefits so even if you're not…having sex, it won't hurt to be on it."

"Tohru?" Konan asked, seeing her sway a little. "Are you okay?"

"No…I mean yes!" Torhu exclaimed, snapping to attention. "Thank-you-very-much-Konan-sama-is-there-anything-else-we-needed-to-talk-about!"

Konan shook her head slightly. Tohru gave a little bow and bolted from the room, only to come back a few seconds later to grab the two items off the desk, bow again then disappear.

"If Deidara ever did try anything I think she would pass out," Konan murmured with amusement.

* * *

"So where are you two going tonight hn?" Deidara asked, watching an upside-down Tohru scurry around her room.

"He didn't say," Torhu replied, smiling a little at him, he was sprawled out on her bed, with his head hanging over the side.

After their talk last night she felt a little more comfortable around him, not that she had ever really been uncomfortable. Everything was out in the open now, it was…liberating.

'_Strange to think of a rejection as liberating,'_ Tohru laughed a little inside her head. But now he was just a friend, there was no possibility of being something more constantly in the back of her mind. It didn't hurt had badly as she thought it would, if anything it served to solidify what they already had.

It was sort of like trying to build a tower out of blocks and adding pieces that really didn't belong. Now that those pieces had been set aside the 'tower' didn't look exactly how she had wanted but it was much more stable.

"This isn't the new one is it hn?" Deidara asked as he reached out to take the red book from her nightstand.

"No," Tohru said uncomfortably. "I kinda stopped reading the new one."

"Why, not any good hn?"

"It was," Tohru blushed. "It's just the main character in that one…well he sorta…he looks a lot like…"

She stopped and made a small whining noise in the back of her throat. Not wanted to actually say who he looked like, she instead padded over to her closet and pulled out the plushy she had bought.

"Here," she mumbled, tossing the plushy to Deidara.

Deidara sat up and stared at the doll for a moment, it didn't look like anyone _he_ knew. He tilted it to the side, then backwards. Its long black yarn hair fell behind its shoulders and then it clicked.

"Oh," he laughed.

"Given the…er…nature of the book…some parts became a little uncomfortable to read."

Deidara broke out into even more laughter. "I…I wonder…what…what Kakuzu…would…would say if…if he knew you…you were," Deidara managed to get out.

"I wasn't thinking of him like…" Tohru stammered, her eyes growing wide. "N-not on purpose…that's why I stopped reading it."

"Not on purpose hn?" he cackled. "So that means that you were!"

"Oh yes Kakuzu I love you!" Deidara exclaimed in a dreamy girly voice as he held the doll out in front of himself. "Please, I can't wait any longer _take me now_!"

Hidan set his book down in his lap and stared with disgust at the wall across from his bed.

"This place needs thicker fucking walls," he grumbled.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Deidara's voice continued seeping through into his room. "You're so big!"

"For fuck sake!" Hidan hissed as he jumped up from his bed.

"Rapture!...So good!...I'm seeing fireworks!...I'm going to-"

"Deidara!" Hidan roared, banging on Tohru's door. "Shut the fuck up!"

"Go suck a dick Hidan!" Deidara called out from the other side.

"Me?" Hidan sputtered loudly. "You're the one who's-"

"Imitating Tohru!" Deidara cut in as he pulled the door open.

"What?" Tohru squeaked from behind Deidara, looking impossibly pale…and almost green.

"Tohru?"

"And Kakuzu," Deidara nodded seriously.

"They're…" Hidan trailed off, his face going slack with shock and horror.

"Sharing wild passionate nights of romance?"

"Deidara!" Tohru exclaimed.

"I don't _want_ to know," Hidan said quickly. "Just stop what you were doing!"

* * *

"Keep staring at me like that and I'll cut off your fucking head and shove it up your ass," Kakuzu grumbled as he sat in the living room waiting for Tohru.

"What happened to your noble declaration that you weren't going to sleep with her?" Hidan muttered, still giving Kakuzu the same glare.

"What the fuck are you talking about dipshit?"

"Not that I care, because trust me I don't, but it seems low… even for you."

"I'm not sleeping with anyone."

"Deidara apparently heard you two and was giving a fucking disturbing rendition of Tohru's performance."

"What?" Kakuzu bit out.

"Saying she loves you while you're doing _that_," Hidan said with annoyance. "_Doesn't_ count. And he's not a part of the bet so it doesn't matter anyway…me, Kisame, Zetsu or Sasori have to hear her say it."

"Tohru and I haven't done _anything_…she hasn't _said_ anything," Kakuzu growled, trying to keep his temper and volume in check.

"Then why would Deidara be teasing Tohru about it?"

"I intend to find out," Kakuzu said darkly.

* * *

"What happened to your cheek?" Tohru asked in concern as she reached out and lightly ran her fingertips over the still developing bruise forming on Deidara's lower cheek and jaw. She was still upset with him for what he did earlier but not enough to not care about his wellbeing.

"I ran into the wall hn," Deidara said tightly as he gave a wicked glare to Kakuzu. Tohru nodded sympathetically, she had run into many a wall…though maybe not _that_ hard.

'_Fucking geezer doesn't have a sense of humor…but his face when I explained everything _was_ almost worth it."_

"Anyway," said Deidara looking back at Tohru. "I wanted to catch you before you left, to ask you where you kept your sewing kit hn."

"Why do you need my sewing kit?"

"Just a little project I wanted to work on hn," Deidara said innocently.

"If you need something mended I can do it for you, Itachi needed me to patch up his cloak…I was going to do it later tonight so…"

"No," Deidara cut her off. "It's nothing like that hn."

"Oh…okay? It's under my bed; it should have anything you need."

"I'll put it back once I'm finished," Deidara turned to leave then stopped. "Have fun, oh and Kakuzu hn?"

"Hm?" Kakuzu grunted.

"If you think she's spunky," Deidara grinned. "Be sure to wrap your monkey hn."

"Monkey?" Tohru asked, tilting her head.

"Nothing," Kakuzu growled as he yanked the front door open forcefully and shoved Tohru outside.

"So where are we going?" Tohru asked, having to do a little jog to keep up with Kakuzu.

"Well, technically it's a bar, but the food is good." Or so he hoped, he hadn't ever eaten there but he did know they at least served food. He had forgotten that he was supposed to be meeting someone about a handful of new bounties that had come up but he didn't want to cancel on Tohru so he figured he'd mix business with…business.

"I'll have to leave you alone for a bit but I'll still be in the bar. I need to speak to someone about something but it shouldn't take more than ten minutes."

* * *

"Just stay there," Kakuzu commanded as Tohru sat at a small table looking a little uncomfortable. "If anyone tries getting you a drink, don't take it. I'll be back in that corner; if someone starts bothering you just come get me."

"Okay," Tohru nodded. "Did you want me to order you something?"

"Sure," Kakuzu shrugged before turning to leave.

"What do you want me to order?"

"Surprise me," he chuckled, glancing back at her.

"Kakuzu?"

"Ritsu," Kakuzu greeted sitting across from the ginger haired man. "Need to make this quick, I'm busy."

"I can see that," Ritsu said, peeking around Kakuzu to look at Tohru. "Well this is a day for the record books; you without a mask, in civilian clothes no less, on a date with a decent looking girl."

Kakuzu glanced down at what he was wearing it wasn't that far off from what he usually wore. A dark blue shirt, black slacks…nothing special.

"She's part of a bet," Kakuzu sighed.

"A bet?" Ritsu chuckled. "You're out on a date because of a bet?"

"Zangei said you had a new list of bounties, you got them or not?"

"Geez, fine here." Ritsu slid a small stack of papers across the table to Kakuzu.

"She's pretty," Ritsu mused as Kakuzu shuffled through the papers. "A bit too sweet for my taste though. So is it just a single date or is there more to it?"

"I have to get her to say she loves me within the next…twenty-two days I think is what I have left," Kakuzu mumbled absently.

"Hope you didn't bet too much," Ritsu snorted.

Kakuzu looked up long enough to glare before going back to reading. "I'm well on my way to winning. She's already said she likes me…not to me of course. But I overheard her talking."

"Is she just a random civilian?"

"She's our housekeeper."

Ritsu's eyebrows shot up. "You guys have a housekeeper?"

"_Someone_ has to cook and clean."

"She any good?"

"I guess…the laundry is always done on time and she's never burned anything."

"Ah, the sweet little housewife type," Ritsu said wistfully. "Lucky bastard, bet you're having loads of fun with her."

"Yeah, loads of fun," Kakuzu said sarcastically.

"Well how long have you been at it?"

"A week yesterday."

"And you're not banging her yet?"

"No," Kakuzu said sharply. "And I have no intentions to."

"Why the hell not?"

"Seeing as how she will continue to be our housekeeper after this bet is over, I'd prefer not pissing her off even more by taking away something she can never get back."

Kakuzu paused in reading, remembering the day before.

_"Breath Tohru," Kakuzu chuckled, noticing the way Tohru's face was beginning to turn purple as she sat there dumbly holding the sheet._

"_Hai," she breathed. _

"_Think I was going to kiss you or something?" he asked as he placed the folded sheet on the table. Tohru instantly turned bright red. _

"_N-no," she stammered. _

"_Might get slapped for trying something like that, right?" he grinned, moving closer to her. _

_Tohru remained silent, unsure of what to say. Would she slap him?...No, but it wasn't something she was sure she wanted him to do either._

_Kakuzu leaned forward until he was eye level with her. "Would you slap me Tohru?" he asked in a tone that sent a shiver up her spine. _

_Her silence continued. Her chest felt heavy- it was hard to think with him so close. _

"_Are you going to make me find out for myself?" he asked as he gently tilted her chin up with his knuckle. _

_Tohru was frozen on the spot as he closed the small distance between them, brushing his lips softly against hers in what could barely be considered a kiss. It was over before she knew it; she had absolutely no experience when it came to kissing someone but she thought her first kiss would have been more…epic. _

_Kakuzu chuckled, handing her the corners of another sheet. "Well I didn't get slapped, so I guess I'm doing something right."_

"_Uh-huh," Tohru mumbled, feeling a little numb. _

"Hn, well some things I don't mind taking…but not her virginity," Kakuzu said.

"How thoughtful," Ritsu said dryly. "Maybe you do have a heart after all. But aren't you going to have a little fun with her at least? Seems like a shame to waste a good opportunity, virgins are always fun to toy with."

"I didn't say I wouldn't be having _fun…_just limited fun," Kakuzu grinned darkly at Ritsu.

"So what are you going to do after you've won the bet?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to string her along afterwards or drop her like a newborn giraffe?"

"I haven't given it much thought," Kakuzu shrugged. "But I don't like wasting time so I'll probably come up with a bullshit excuse and drop her."

"How long after?"

"Immediately."

"You're going to dump the poor thing right after she tells you she loves you?" Ritsu laughed. "Never mind, I take it back…you _are_ heartless."

"And?" Kakuzu snorted.

"Vultures are starting to move in," Ritsu said, pointing to a young man with unusual black and white hair.

Kakuzu looked back, spotting the man as he sat down across from Tohru. "As long as he doesn't try taking her somewhere she'll be fine. Keep an eye on them."

"Not worried about him moving in on your territory?"

"She's the biggest space cadet you'll ever meet if he tries to flirt with her, she'll be completely oblivious."

"Yeah, she does look a bit out there…"

"Twenty-million for this cunt?" Kakuzu asked, holding up one of the papers. "He doesn't look like much."

Ritsu shrugged.

* * *

"You ready to order something hun?" a worn looking waitress drawled, tapping her pen against her pad of paper.

Tohru looked back to where Kakuzu was sitting, he still looked busy.

'_He did say to order him something…um…I guess I could just order him the same thing I'm getting.' _

"Uh, can I get two orders of the kare rice?"

"Mild or spicy?"

"Mild?"

"It'll be out when it gets out," the waitress said before walking away.

"O-okay."

Tohru fidgeted in her seat. Before joining the Akatsuki she had lived in a less savory part of town so the type of people in the bar really didn't bother her but it was the first time in three years she had been left alone outside the base for a long period of time.

"Are you here alone?" someone asked from beside her.

"I-I'm waiting for s-someone," Tohru squeaked looking up at the man who had spoken as he moved around to sit across from her.

"Mind if I get you a drink while you wait then?" he asked.

"No thank you," Tohru mumbled.

"Afraid of strangers?" he purred. "What if I tell you my name, then maybe you'll let me buy you drink?"

"I don't want a drink," Tohru said firmly.

"Names Hatsuharu, but because you're so cute I'll let you call me Haru. What's _your_ name?"

"Tohru."

"So Tohru, waiting on a lover?" Haru asked, settling a little further back in his seat.

"L-lover?" Tohru sputtered. "N-no."

"No? Then who?" Haru smirked.

"My…uh…friend?" Tohru replied softly, pointing to where Kakuzu was sitting.

Haru glanced to where Tohru was pointing. He didn't think much of the man until he held out a paper to show the other man sitting across from him, giving Haru a good view of his arm. The tattoos…the stitches…the slight impressions of masks under his shirt…

"Kakuzu?" Haru asked, going rigid.

"Uh-huh?"

"Very sorry to bother you," he apologized quickly before bolting from his seat.

* * *

"Guess they got a new cook," Kakuzu said lamely as Tohru placed a plate of food in front of him.

"It really was pretty bad," Tohru giggled, sitting down with her own plate.

"Pretty bad is an understatement."

The food had been terrible, bordering on inedible. He had only taken a few bites before deciding that they would be better off going back to the base.

"How about _I_ pick where we go next time?"

"Next time, so you're still willing to go out with me again after that fiasco?"

"Might make you sit and watch Ichi Icha Violence to make it up to me, but yes," Tohru smiled.

"Watch?" Kakuzu asked, arching a brow. "They actually made a movie based on those books of yours?"

"M-hmm, there are two of them out so far…They might make a movie about the newest one as well."

"Really?" Kakuzu grinned. "Hm, maybe I'll give up being an infamous bounty hunter and try my hand at acting. I've heard I bear a strong resemblance to the main character."

"What?" Tohru peeped, her chopsticks slipping from her fingers, clattering against her plate.

"Think I'd get the part?" he asked, still grinning.

"I…I…uh…well…I…I don't…"

"Nah, you're probably right. I'm sure I would be terrible at it. Are you feeling alright Tohru, you look flushed."

Tohru nodded as she picked her chopsticks back up. She couldn't tell if he was being serious, or if he had somehow heard about that afternoon and was teasing her about it.

"Do you have any hobbies Tohru?" He needed to start on completing the tasks assigned in the chapter meant for today. He didn't like the fact that Sasori had added his own advice to the book, but he had to admit that some of it wasn't half bad. Today he was supposed to ask the questions that were listed in the back of the book; Sasori had crossed most of them out so it wouldn't be a hard task.

"Um, well…of course I like to read. I like organizing things, but that's not really a hobby is it?"

Kakuzu shrugged.

"I sometimes knit, but haven't done it in a while," Tohru gave a soft giggle. "That's it really. I'm not very interesting I guess. Do you have any hobbies?"

"None."

"At all?"

"Yep."

"I could teach you how to knit," Tohru offered making Kakuzu laugh.

"Thank you, but no. If Hidan ever caught me knitting he would never let me live it down, and he's enough of a pain in the ass as it is."

"He's not so bad," she smiled.

"Better than Hisha but I still say I would be better off without a partner."

Tohru's shifted uncomfortably. She didn't like thinking about Hisha. The day he died had been a very…interesting day. She had woken up to a lot of screaming but had been stopped from leaving her room by Deidara. She ended up spending the majority of that day in her room because they needed to 'clean up' before she could be allowed out.

"Uh, what's your favorite food?" he asked quickly realizing that brining up the man he had killed almost right outside her door may have been a bad idea.

"Dango…or more specifically chadango but…" Tohru smiled again. "It's one of the few things I _don't_ know how to make."

"Like liver?" Kakuzu sulked.

Tohru giggled. "If you make me dango, I will make you liver."

"I might hold you to that."

"It has to be good though."

"Are you saying you don't think I can cook?"

"Can you?" Tohru asked curiously.

"Of course I can cook Tohru," he chuckled. "You pick up a lot of things when you've lived as long as I have."

Tohru paused, giving him a thoughtful expression. It was easy to forget that he really was very old, he just didn't look it. Though, she couldn't really say how old he _did_ look.

"Um…" Tohru fumbled with her word inside her head. She didn't want to upset him and she really wasn't sure how to word what she wanted to ask. "How…how old where you when you stopped aging?"

Kakuzu gave her a reassuring smile, trying to ease her obvious discomfort. He understood what she was asking, but wasn't quite sure how to answer her. He didn't want to go into all the details of his 'immortality' if that's what you could call it, but he needed to give her something at least.

"I was twenty-six," he finally answered.

"How old were _you_ when _you_ stopped aging?" he countered, trying to throw her off from asking anymore questions on the subject.

Tohru bit her lip trying not to smile. "Seventeen," she said, without missing a beat.

'_She can be quick when she wants to be.'_

Kakuzu chuckled and nodded. "So how old are you really?"

"Hmm," Tohru hummed. "Two hundred and thirty…five...I think …it's hard to keep track."

"Ah well then, I'm not sure if I _want_ to go on anymore dates. You're much too old for me."

Tohru giggled. "Will you still watch Icha Icha with me?"

"If it's anything like the books I'm sure it's pretty racy. Think an old woman like you can handle that much excitement?"

"I'm sure I'll be fine."

"If you have a heart-attack, don't say I didn't warn you."

* * *

"I just need to go get Itachi's cloak and my sewing kit," Tohru said to Kakuzu who was walking down the hall towards the living room.

"If Deidara remembered to put it back," she murmured under her breath as she opened the door to her room and turned on the light.

Luckily he had, it was sitting neatly on the foot of her bed. As she opened it to retrieve some black thread and a needle she momentarily glanced up. For some reason her plushy was sitting, propped up against her pillows. Except…

Tohru paled, taking a closer look at the doll. It's yarn hair had been cut so it barely touched it's shoulders, instead of blue eyes they had been sewn over with red and green thread, and thick black stitched were sewn into its 'skin' to match…

"Tohru?" Kakuzu asked slowly from the doorway.

She spun around praying he wouldn't notice but the confused look on his face told her he had.

* * *

Ritsu…didn't mean for him to be in character (So don't get your panties in a bunch)…. Just having a little fun…gotta keep myself amused somehow…Haru…guess he could almost be in character…if we're talking about black Haru… I intend on having the whole Fruits Basket gang pop up randomly throughout the story…

AGAIN THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS! *PETS YOU ALL*


	8. Chapter 8: Onigiri

_**Chapter 8: Onigiri**_

* * *

_**Sweet bitter words  
Unlike nothing I have heard  
Sing along mocking bird  
You don't affect me**_

* * *

"I didn't make it," Tohru said for the tenth time since she and Kakuzu had sat down in the living room.

Kakuzu nodded, trying hard not to laugh. He believed her when she said it had more than likely been Deidara but she _was_ fun to tease. "I already told you, I think it's very flattering so I don't know why you keep denying it."

"B-but I really didn't."

"You really expect me to believe that Deidara, for no reason at all, stole your doll just so he could modify it to look like me?"

"But he did!" Tohru huffed as she set Itachi's cloak aside and stood from the couch. Even if she had to drag the blonde from his room and threaten him with a promise to cook nothing but mixed rice for a month he was going to tell Kakuzu that he had been the one who modified the plushy.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kakuzu asked, catching Tohru by the wrist as she walked past him on her way out of the living room.

"To get Deidara."

"Hmm," Kakuzu hummed, giving her a contemplative look before shaking his head. "No."

"Huh?" Tohru breathed.

"I'm not really in the mood for putting up with Deidara at the moment. So…"

Kakuzu tugged a little at her wrist, guiding her around to sit beside him. "You will stay right here, and watch this ridiculous movie with me."

"What about Itachi's cloak?" Tohru asked, trying to use it as an excuse to scoot away from him.

"It can wait until the movie is over," he replied with a chuckle. "Now stay or you're going to end up in my lap again."

Tohru blushed a little but didn't say anything; worried he wasn't joking…it was Kakuzu after all so he probably wasn't. She leaned back against the couch trying to hold herself at an odd angle, his weight caused the cushion to dip so if she relaxed completely she would be leaning against his arm. She didn't mind being so close to him, honestly in the back of her mind she enjoyed it a little but it didn't make it any less awkward.

She attributed her nervousness to lack of experience. She knew there was no need to be nervous…in a way they _were_ dating… maybe, actually she wasn't sure if you could call it that. Dating meant…going on dates…right? He had even kissed her…sort of.

Tohru, with brows furrowed in thought, looked to her side to stare at Kakuzu.

'_Could you consider this dating?'_ she wondered.

It was as if the fact that he was actively seeking a relationship with her had just suddenly dawned on her. She had understood his intentions before but now she _understood_. Unless she or Kakuzu decided that they no longer wanted to continue forward…they would end up in a romantic relationship. The idea scrambled her brain a little.

"Are we dating?" she blurted, still staring at him.

"What?" Kakuzu laughed, looking down at her.

Tohru felt her heart skip a beat; he was smiling…a real smile, not a smirk, not a grin…a smile. He had smiled before but it had previously gone unnoticed. She decided she liked his smile.

"Well," Tohru said, trying to force the nervousness from her voice. "…Uh…I was just wondering if that's…erm…"

"Is that what you want?" Kakuzu asked seriously. This could be a pivotal moment, he knew that. For her to acknowledge that they were in a semi-relationship would make things a whole lot easier for him.

'_Hell, I could end up winning this bet with time to spare.'_

Tohru wasn't sure how to answer. Was that what she wanted? A million different thoughts gravitated around her. Relationships could be complicated; she doubted as complicated as the ones in her books but… if things didn't work out…no, even more troubling…

'_What if things __**did**__ work out?'_

She could be clueless at times but she wasn't completely naïve. It would be idiotic to think that things would remain as they were now…a relationship would entail much more than just occasionally going out together, or sitting down to watch a movie…

If she said yes, how far would things eventually go?

She didn't want to think about that, the latest book in the Icha Icha series had already put some very interesting images of Kakuzu in her head. She decided that it would be best not to answer him at the moment, considering she still wasn't entirely sure she was comfortable with the idea of making anything 'official' between her and Kakuzu.

'_I'll just…what does Deidara call it…test the waters?' _

Tohru willed herself to relax, settling herself against Kakuzu, who in turn arched a brow.

'_Was that a yes?'_ he wondered. He hated when women danced around things, playing coy rather than giving definite answers. Thus was the reason why he preferred simply taking care of _physical_ needs and avoiding any sort of attachment. Hell, even the standard fuck and run became too much for him at times…they would want eye-contact, to be talked to beforehand, foreplay, cuddling…

Kakuzu growled a little under his breath. Women were just plain confusing which meant that they were infuriating.

"S-sorry," Tohru apologized in a small voice as she pulled herself back away from Kakuzu.

"Just had something in my throat," Kakuzu lied, sliding his arm down behind Tohru's back, resting his hand against her hip to keep her from moving away.

Tohru went rigid at the touch. "Uh…d-do you… would you like me to get you something to…"

"Relax Tohru."

It took a while, a long while, until Tohru finally did relax against him.

The movie wasn't turning out to be what he had expected; it was much gorier than he thought it would be. The fight scenes weren't half bad actually, but the love scenes were downright ridiculous.

"I love you so much!" the woman on the TV cried out in passion. Her perfect hair fanned out perfectly around her perfect face after being tossed down against a bed. Nothing was out of place.

Kakuzu couldn't help but snort at what he was watching.

"Hm?" Tohru hummed questioningly, completely enthralled by what was playing out on the TV.

"It's so far from reality that it's almost funny," Kakuzu chuckled.

"What is?"

"Sex is nothing like this…crap."

Any embarrassment Tohru should have felt was squashed by annoyance…he was making fun of her Icha Icha. The movies did deviate from the books a little but the plot was essentially the same and the love scenes followed the books almost exactly…at least up until a certain point. They couldn't show _everything_. Jiraiya, whoever he was, was the god of anything and everything involving romance…to Tohru at least. How dare Kakuzu say that sex wasn't being accurately portrayed even though Jiraiya clearly knew what he was talking about.

"Maybe not for you," Tohru said haughtily, not really thinking about what she was saying. "But in the special anniversary edition of Icha Icha Paradise Jiraiya said in his author's note that the books were written from his own experiences. So maybe it comes down to a matter of skill."

Kakuzu opened his mouth to say something back but he wasn't sure _what_ to say. Tohru, very innocent Torhu, had just questioned his sexual abilities. He should have been livid; if any other woman had said something like that she would be dead…but the fact that it was _Torhu_ shocked him more than anything else.

"I'm just saying her hair wouldn't look like that," he said, feeling he needed to defend what he had said…at least a little.

"Some of us _do_ brush our hair."

It was _another_ jab…at _him_.

'_Dear god, insult her precious Icha Icha and she can get downright viscous.'_

"Yes, and some of us know more about the subject than others," Kakuzu pointed out.

Tohru's eyes went wide and her mouth snapped shut.

"Anyway, do they change the main character with each new book?" Kakuzu asked, he would love to press the subject further but he didn't need her hyperventilating and passing out.

"No, not exactly," Tohru began, instantly snapping out of it. "The real main character is Naruto, but Jiraiya does usually introduce a secondary male character who has some sort of side story. That plushy…well he's Hatori…He's descended from royalty…Deidara kind of ruined him by cutting his hair though…"

Tohru trailed off, giving a little pout.

"What's so important about his hair?"

"Well it's a-an age old custom that members of the royal family should always wear their hair long in honor of the high king Rurubara!" (AN: HAHAHAHA Ayame…stole it from Ayame.)

Torhu shifted so she was on her knees facing Kakuzu on the couch. Instantly Kakuzu regretted even asking, the way her eyes twinkled and the excided look on her face, he could tell there wasn't a simple answer to his inquiry.

'_It's just hair. How can there be a back-story on hair!'_

"…Who it is said, during the fourth year of his reign, was visited by a divine image…" Tohru paused for dramatic effect, leaning towards Kakuzu a little.

"It was Kandra, shimmering with heavenly light of red and gold!"

'_I hate to admit it…but this is a little…cute.' _

"Kandra began to chant 'Ma Rudu Muni!' And a blue light burst from his forehead!"

'_It sounds like she actually has all of this memorized.'_

"At this moment Rurubara's true spirit was set free! And just as the vast springs of his strength and wisdom were swelling within him, so too did his hair begin to sprout forth from his head!" Torhu exclaimed, her excitement bubbling clearly into her words.

"At that same moment Prince Casta- Hmph."

"I think I get it," Kakuzu smiled, removing the hand he had placed of her mouth. Mildly cute or not, he could only take so much.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly. She moved back against the couch, sitting a little further away from Kakuzu than she had before only to be pulled back against him.

"I'm going to get you over this bashfulness if it kills me," he stated.

Tohru gave a small giggle and settled into him much more easily than she had before. There was no use trying to get away, so she figured she might as well get used to it.

"So any idea as to what you would like to do tomorrow?" Kakuzu asked softly. It had been a long time since a woman had curled up next to him without something sexual being involved…about sixty-six years actually. He wasn't sure if he could say that he liked it, but he didn't dislike it…it was somewhat enjoyable.

"Tomorrow is going to be really busy; I think I'll be gone most of the day."

"Where are you going?" Kakuzu asked, looking down at her with a frown. Things were finally starting to really move, he didn't like the idea of an interruption.

"Konan-sama has me go in with her once and while, so I can organize and help out a little. We'll usually leave early in the morning and if I run out of things to do she allows me to go..go…oh my goodness, the conservatory!" Tohru cried as she leapt from the couch, partially tripping over Kakuzu, to bolt from the living room.

"Obaasan…I completely forgot!" her panicked voice rang out from what sounded like the kitchen.

Kakuzu blinked slowly before getting up to follow her. "What just happened?" he muttered to himself.

"She ah…she said she liked onigiri…or did she say I _was_ an onigiri!"

Kakuzu watched the flurry of pink, also known as Torhu, as she scurried around the kitchen in full panic mode. She didn't look to be actually _doing_ anything, just running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

"No…I am an onigiri…but she does like onigiri…but does she like onigiri only because she says I'm an onigiri and she was just saying she liked me!"

"Tohru," Kakuzu laughed, stopping her by lightly grabbing her arm. "What on earth are you talking about, and who called you a rice ball?"

"Obaasan!-I-told-her-I-would-make-something-for-her-the-next-time-I-went-to-the-conservatory-but-I-forgot-about-it-being-with-you-and-all," she said in one single breath.

"Not-that-I-didn't-enjoy-spending-time-with-you-today!" she added. She was talking so fast that it was making Kakuzu's head spin. "I-really-did-but-I-was-supposed-to-and-I-forgot-and-I-don't-want-her-to-think-that-I-forgot-about-her-even-though-I-did-I-can't-believe-that-I-did-what-a-terrable-thing-to-do!"

"Tohru.."

"I've-been-doing-terrable-things-lately-first-with-the-kitten-and-then-I-made-you-worry-I-forgot-that-Kisame-didn't-like-shark-fin-soup-"

"Tohru…"

"I-yelled-at-Deidara-for-making-things-up-he-might-of-diserved-it-but-that-still-isn't-any-excuse-and-now-I-forgot-a-promice-I-made-to-someone-and-she's-always-so-nice-to-me-"

"Tohru…"

"She's-really-patient-when-she-explains-things-I've-learned-so-much-from-her-and-then-Konan-sama-meantioned-that-I-cook-well-and-she-asked-me-to-make-her-something-the-next-time-I-visited-you-see-her-husband-used-to-do-all-the-cooking-and-then-he…"

"Tohru," Kakuzu tried again, she was starting to turn a little red from a lack of oxygen.

'_I don't think she can even hear me,'_ he mused as she continued. _'Well there are other ways to make a woman shut-up'_

Kakuzu leaned down, pressing his lips to her still moving ones. Tohru did three things in a matter of a few seconds. First she stopped trying to talk. Secondly she somewhat returned the kiss, though it really wasn't very intentional, more or less it was because of the way her lips had settled when she had stopped talking and the way he had gentle moved his. Thirdly, once she realized what was happening, Tohru pulled away from him as if he had suddenly caught fire.

"Ah-hah-hah," she laughed nervously, staring up at him with wide eyes. "I'm gonna go find the rice-maker!"

Kakuzu frowned, that wasn't how she was supposed to react. He hadn't been at all forceful and it seemed to him that she had enjoyed the last time he kissed her, she liked him, she seemed to find him attractive and she had been comfortable with him in the living room. So in his mind he didn't see why she would have pulled away from him like that. He had never…_never_ had a woman respond to him like that. It ticked him off…confused him…and kind of damaged his ego.

Now she was digging through the cabinets as if nothing had happened, as if he wasn't even in the kitchen anymore. She hefted the large white rice-maker onto the countertop then set off to find the rice.

'_That was unexpected,'_ she thought. She knew where everything in the kitchen was, yet was having trouble finding what she needed. Her brain had turned to jelly. Cautiously she glanced back at Kakuzu. He was still there, he hadn't moved at all…and he was glaring.

'_I guess that was a little…ah…rude?...no…oh he doesn't look happy…it just took me by surprise…hn…I didn't know what to do…great…you pull away like…agh…then laugh…oh dear…and walk away…That really sends a great message…I should have…what should I have done?...I just sat there last time…now this…he'll never try…wait…would I want him to…well…maybe…would it be weird to ask him to warn me next time? Then I would be prepared at least…' _

"Um…Kaku-" Torhu stopped, he wasn't there anymore. She could feel her heart sink a little, she didn't want him to just leave, or be upset with her…or think that she…she didn't _want_ him to kiss her.

"This what you're looking for?" Kakuzu asked gruffly from behind Tohru as he pulled down a bag of rice.

"Kakuzu," she cried in a startled voice, spinning around to face him.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly with her hands clasped nervously in front of herself and her head ducked down.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" he asked. "I was the one that overstepped you're boundaries."

"Boundaries?" Tohru repeated.

"I won't do that again," he said.

"Wha- no," said Tohru, looking up at him. "I mean… I don't mind…just could…could you tell me you're going to kiss me before you actually do it?"

"You want me to tell you I'm going to kiss you before I kiss you?" Kakuzu chuckled. "That doesn't seem very, uh…romantic?"

"You were trying to be romantic?" Tohru asked, her brows arching a little.

"No," Kakuzu said quickly before he could stop himself.

'_Damn it…I am __**not**__ romantic but…fuck, just go with it.'_

"I _was_ being romantic…not _trying_ to be," he said, smoothly catching himself. "You're the one that ruined it."

"Oh," Tohru mumbled, her eye's falling to the floor once more.

"Tohru," Kakuzu smirked. "Look at me."

Tohru looked back up.

"I'm going to kiss you," he stated as casually as he would asking someone to pass the salt at dinner. He leaned down until his lips were a breath away from hers. Tohru's heart was beating so hard she could almost hear it.

"Sometime tomorrow," he grinned, then pulled away. "Maybe."

"Maybe…what…but you…" Tohru stammered.

"How much rice are we going to need?" Kakuzu asked, holding up the bag.

* * *

Tohru tightened the black strip of cloth across her forehead and smiled at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't look anything like her mother but sometimes when she wore her mother's forehead protector she liked to think that maybe she did a little…just a little. She hardly ever wore it; she wasn't a ninja after all but if Konan asked her to help with something regarding the village she was required to wear one. Ninja tended to have more respect for fellow ninja, rather than a civilian housekeeper.

The work Konan usually had her do was tedious, mainly sorting through mission files whenever they became swamped, but it was fun to pretend to be something she wasn't…just for a day. She had always idolized her mother's abilities and had become discouraged many times while growing up because she didn't possess them herself.

Her mother said that she preferred that she wasn't a ninja; she didn't want her to have to deal with everything that came with being one. She never talked about her missions or anything else she did, always trying to protect her from the ninja lifestyle.

"Oh mom, what would you say if you could see me now," Tohru murmured to her reflection. She hoped she would be proud. Even without any abilities she had found a way to help her village.

Tohru gave herself one last look-over to make sure everything was in place before walking out of her room.

"Good-morning Kuzu-kun," Tohru smiled, seeing Kakuzu making his way down the hall.

"Tohru?" Kakuzu questioned. She didn't look like herself.

"What's with the uniform?" he asked. She was wearing a pair of black cropped pants, a dark blue long-sleeved shirt with white bandages wrapped around the cuffs, a long white scarf, a white belt…and a forehead protector. It was a standard rain-nin uniform but looked extremely out of place on Tohru. She wasn't even wearing her trademark ribbons in her two low pigtails.

"I'm going to go help Konan-sama today, remember?"

Kakuzu nodded a little even though it didn't really answer his question.

"Where'd you get this?" he asked, lightly tapping the cold metal on her forehead.

"It was my moms," Tohru smiled.

"Tohru!" Konan called out from the front door. "You ready?"

"Hai Konan-sama!" Tohru called back.

"I'll see you later tonight?" she asked softly.

"Or earlier. You said you would be at the conservatory later right?"

"If I finish everything Konan-sama wanted me to do."

"Don't forget the onigiri."

"They're by the door, um…could you…well…if you see him today, could you tell Itachi that I left a few for him. I know he likes them, and I don't make them very often."

"Liver," Kakuzu coughed.

"Dango for liver, remember?" Tohru giggled. "Will you tell him?"

"Yeah, I'll let him know," Kakuzu grumbled, following Torhu to the door.

"Oh…I don't think anyone is up yet but," Torhu said, turning to look at him. "I…I kind of hid the toaster, if someone other than Deidara needs it let them know it's in the cabinet over the sink…in the back."

"Why would you need to hide the toaster from Deidara?" Kakuzu laughed, ignoring the weird look he was getting from Konan for doing so.

"I don't think he understands what he can and can't put in it," Tohru groaned.

"I will protect the toaster from Deidara," Kakuzu chuckled.

Both of Konan's brows rose as she continued to give Kakuzu the same look. He was acting…weird. She wasn't sure what to make of it. Of course she knew there was something going on between the two but she hadn't expected to see him act the way he was. Kakuzu joking…with a girl…without anyone getting severely maimed or killed…

Konan couldn't stop the visible shudder that ran through her body.

"Uh, have everything Tohru?" Konan asked skeptically.

"Hai," Tohru smiled as she picked up the paper bag sitting not too far from the door.

Konan pulled the door open and stepped outside. She heard the door clicked closed behind her and glanced back, intending to interrogate Tohru...who wasn't there.

"Huh?" she mumbled.

Before she had time to reopen the door it swung open enough for a tan hand to shove a dazed looking Tohru out.

"What happened?" Konan asked, eyeing Tohru.

"Nothing!" Tohru squeaked. Yes…nothing, if by nothing she meant that Kakuzu had stopped her before she could follow Konan out, closed the door, quickly kissed her, and then pushed her outside.

"Nothing?" Konan asked slowly.

"Yes," Tohru nodded vigorously, her cheeks turning a bright red.

"I don't think I believe you. Did he just-"

"No."

"Kakuzu just kissed you didn't he?" Konan was torn between gagging and smirking. She settled on smirking.

"No."

"You're a terrible liar Torhu," Konan said with a light laugh.

* * *

'_So would this be something that I would need to report to Nagato about?'_ Konan wondered, momentarily looking up from the document she had been reading to watch Torhu as she sifted through a mass amount of papers and folders.

'_He usually wants to know about everyone's wellbeing, but I think that's only to make sure none of them are showing signs of defecting. It would be a very bizarre conversation though.'_

'_Is everyone doing well?' he would ask._

'_Yes,' she would reply. 'Sasori and Zetsu still won't leave their rooms unless absolutely necessary. Deidara keeps trying to pick fights with Itachi, who for the most part ignores him. I still have to keep an eye on Hidan to make sure he doesn't sacrifice anyone from the village…Kisame…well, he's still being Kisame…Oh yes…and Kakuzu is seeing our teenage housekeeper.'_

Konan couldn't help but laugh a little under her breath. The situation was weird enough that she could probably get a pretty good reaction from their stoic leader.

Something didn't seem right though. In the back of her mind she was still a little suspicious of it all. Tohru had a very loving personality, it wasn't a stretch to believe that she could have feelings for someone like Kakuzu but…

'_Unless working with Hidan has finally sent him over the edge…even if he is attracted to her…it still seems odd for him to act the way he is.'_

Konan scowled.

'_What would he be getting out of toying with her? I don't think he would be after her for sex, not when he could get it easily from someone else…'_

In Amegakure the Akatsuki were held in high regard because of their attachment to Pain, so there was always a surplus of women dying to get down their pants, regardless of who they were or what they looked like.

'_Hn, maybe I'm giving it too much thought, he could just like her…'_

* * *

Tohru smiled up at the massive building topped by an equally large glass dome. She loved visiting the conservatory. It was rare to run across any sort of natural plant-life in the village, the constant rain made it difficult to grow anything out in the open. Because of this there were many greenhouses throughout Amagakure, this one being the largest. It was used to grow essential herbs and plants for village use…mostly medical.

"Tohru-chan!" an energetic blonde greeted once Tohru made her way into the main part of the building. He was only slightly taller than her, and looked to be around her same age.

"Momiji-kun!" Tohru smiled, accepting the hearty hug he gave her.

"We heard that you were going to stop by today, I'm so glad to see you. It's been a while, two weeks right?"

"I think so," Tohru giggled, it was more like three but she wasn't going to correct him.

"Obaasan, is back this way," he said, tugging her along as he walked.

"Well, fist I need to let Konan-sama know that I made it over okay."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of that," he beamed.

"Obaasan, look!" Momiji cried once a sturdy old woman came into view. "I found a Tohru!"

* * *

"It's a surprise to see you here," Konan muttered as Kakuzu lowered himself through her office window. "But then again _have_ been _full_ of surprises lately. You know, you could have used the door."

"Tohru here?" Kakuzu asked, clearly not in the mood for light banter.

"I sent her over to the conservatory about three hours ago."

"Alone?"

Konan nodded, gauging his reaction. By the look on his face he didn't seem too happy. "It's not far from here, and I had her contact me to let me know she made it there okay."

"Wait," Konan said when Kakuzu turned; ready to go back out the window.

"What?" he grumbled.

"I want to know what's going on."

"I think that would be pretty obvious."

"Why Tohru?"

"Why not?"

"Before you went on your last mission you ignored that she was even there, then you come back and suddenly start laying on the charm…Something isn't right," Konan said darkly.

'_Fuck,'_ Kakuzu hissed inwardly. _'If Konan catches on she'll put an end to this bet.'_

"You try living as long as I have," he said slowly, beginning what he hoped would be a believable lie. "And realize the only thing you have in your life is money. You wake up alone most mornings and if you're not alone it's because you're on a mission and sadly the person you wake up to is…ugh…Hidan. Wouldn't you want to do something to change that?"

His face remained completely emotionless, if he tried playing it up too much she would see through him. Konan's face softened a little, he hated the almost pitied look she was giving him but did take satisfaction in the fact that she believed him.

"That still doesn't answer my question though…why _Tohru_?" she pressed.

"She doesn't just take care of us, she _cares_ for us. I used to think that she was a fool for doing so but now…well, I think only Tohru would ever truly love an abomination."

"You want Tohru to love you?" Konan asked softly.

"Yes."

Yes…the word tasted bitter on his tongue. Of course he wanted Tohru love him, that was the whole idea behind this bet, but to say it out loud…It played on his mind.

'_It was all bullshit to get Konan off my back,'_ he assure himself.

'_Yes, but __a lie is most effective when it's the truth given in a deceptive way.' _Sasori's previous advice echoed around his head- it was taunting him.

'_Stupid fucking puppet.'_

* * *

BWAH!...sorry this took so long…My hubby and I had a fight and he decided to bring up the fact that I write a lot…and attacked this story…kinda killed it for me a little…I got a bad case of writers block as a result…fight was resolved…pointed out that I write as a hobby...but he spends _way_ more time playing his games and watching Bleach….NOW WE'RE BACK ON TRACK….YAAAAAAAAAY!


	9. Chapter 9: Icha Icha Embrace!

_**Chapter 9: Icha Icha Embrace!**_

* * *

_AN: If you aren't up to date with Itachi in the manga or anime keep an eye out for the ** a little bit of a spoiler…kinda…_

* * *

Tohru looked across rows and rows of various budding plants to the old woman she knew as Obaasan, or Haruna as she was called by anyone over the age of twenty. She was…talking to herself, again. She did that often. Tohru had to wonder if she had always been a little crazy or if her odd behavior was a result of handling one too many toxic plants without wearing gloves. Maybe it was both.

"I wonder who she thinks she's talking to?" Momoji asked from beside Tohru. Apparently he had been thinking along the same lines at Torhu.

"I'm not sure," she giggled softly.

"So there's really hasn't been any new developments in your life since the last time you were here?"

"No," Tohru blushed. "Why do you keep asking?"

"Because of that," Momiji laughed as he reached up and poked her cheek, leaving a little potting soil behind.

"Well…maybe…" Tohru mumbled, whipping her cheek off but only succeeding in smearing even more soil on it.

"Ha!...I knew it, so let's hear it."

"I…I guess I kinda started seeing someone."

"Really?" Momoji asked excitedly. "Is it that Deidara guy?"

"No," Tohru murmured. "Someone else."

"Part of the-"

"Yes," Torhu cut him off.

"Who?"

"Ah…Kakuzu…"

"Kakuzu," Momiji mused, trying to place the name. "He's not the blue one is he?"

"No," Torhu giggled. "That's Kisame. Kakuzu he…well…he's tall but not quite as tall as Kisame…dark skin…lots of stitches…um…he's…he's very…I guess…he's well…atrac…uh"

"Attractive?" Momiji offered with a smile.

"Yes…"

"Heh, you look like a tomato Tohru. There's nothing wrong with saying someone is attractive, you used to gush about how cute Deidara was," Momiji laughed.

"Deidara _is_ cute, Kakuzu…he's not cute. He's much older and…hn…I don't know…it's just different," Tohru groaned.

"Older? How old are we talking here?"

"Uh," Tohru panicked, she didn't want to say that he was probably as old as Obaasan. "Er, he's twenty-six."

"Well that's not so bad," Momiji laughed. "So how long has this been going on?"

"I'm not really sure."

"What do you mean you're not sure?"

"He never actually asked me out…he was rather sneaky about it really. At first he was tricking me into dates."

"So he's the bashful type?"

"No," Tohru laughed. Kakuzu _bashful_?

"Well how far have things gotten?" Momiji asked, a hint of suggestion in his voice.

"I got a new kitten," Tohru said quickly, avoiding the question.

"Aw, really…no wait, answer the question."

Momiji's eyes grew wide, he could almost see the heat radiating from Tohru's face. "You haven't…well…not that there's anything wrong with it if you have but…"

"He's only kissed me," Tohru mumbled, knowing what Momiji was thinking.

"Oh. Well how was it?" Momiji asked, from previous conversations he knew she had never been kissed before.

"Terrible," Tohru sighed. "He's done it three times, and each time it's been really quick. He doesn't give me any warning…at all."

"That's usually how it's supposed to happen," he laughed.

"I know but I wish he would…I don't know…do it a little slower. Give me time to react. I really don't know what to do when he does it but if he would just…argh"

"I understand," Momiji smiled. "Things like that come instinctively, for the most part, but it's hard to let those instincts take over when everything passes too quickly. Instead of trying to tell him to slow down, try asking him to teach you. As guy I can tell you he would be more than happy to oblige."

"I-I can't a-ask him to do s-something like that!" Tohru squeaked.

"Why not? That's kind of what you want right?"

"Maybe but that still doesn't mean that I can just come out and ask him!"

"You're so cute Tohru," Momiji laughed, giving her a sideways hug. "But if you don't want to ask him then _you_ try kissing _him_, that way you're the one setting the pace."

"I can't do that either!"

"Why?"

"I still wouldn't know what I was doing…and even if I wanted to try, it would be difficult. He's almost a foot taller than me."

"Get creative; find a way to make it so that the height difference won't matter."

"How?"

"I don't know Tohru," Momiji laughed, he himself wasn't very tall so most girls he dated were around his same height.

"You could always drug him," an old crackled voice chuckled.

"Obaasan!" Tohru and Momiji exclaimed in unison.

"How did you…" Momiji started.

"I'm still pretty stealthy in my old age no?"

"Yes," Torhu giggled.

"Monkshood or Delphiniums, they cause paralyses. They're a bit bitter though, but if you put them in his tea he might not notice," Haruna nodded.

"Ah, I don't think it would be a good idea to poison him. I'm not that desperate," Tohru laughed nervously.

'_I really hope she's joking.'_

"Not to mention those could end up killing him," Momiji pointed out.

"Maybe," Haruna admitted. "But in a small amount he could just become disorientated."

Tohru blinked owlishly. She couldn't imagine herself ever doing that to someone, especially Kakuzu.

"No Obaasan I think I can come up with something a little less…"

"Crazy?" Momiji whispered under his breath, low enough that Haruna wouldn't be able to hear him.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. "Anyway, what else do we need to do before we can call it a night?"

"I'll finish with the sproutlings," Haruna said. "You two can go make sure that everything is put away."

* * *

"I can't believe Obaasan actually suggested that!" Momiji exclaimed waving his hands around animatedly, jerking Tohru around as he did so.

'_If he's going to do that he could at least let go of my hand.'_

"She's just old and a little weird," Tohru said softly.

"Is something wrong?" Momiji asked, tilting his head to one side as they walked.

"I was sort of hoping Kakuzu would pick me up. I-I like when you walk me back but…he said he might stop by…and…"

"Ah, well it works out better this way anyway," Momiji smiled. "I wanted to stop by my apartment and give you something."

"What is it?"

"You'll see," he grinned. "Oh, and if Kisa is home you'll be able to meet her. I'm not sure if she will be though; her schedule at the hospital has been a little chaotic."

"Are you two still planning on getting married?" Tohru smiled.

"Uh-huh, but we still haven't set a date."

"You'll be sure to let me know when you do right?" Tohru giggled.

"Of course!"

* * *

The doors were locked, the lights were off, there were no signs of movement inside, and Tohru was nowhere in sight. It was one thing to walk from the administrative tower to the conservatory alone, they weren't far apart, but the idea of Tohru walking all the way back to the base alone set a small bit of panic in Kakuzu.

She should have still been there; Konan assured him that she would be.

'_If they closed early, where would Tohru go?'_

He hadn't seen her on his way there, so he doubted she went back to Konan. He hated the tense feeling that overtook him.

'_Would she be stupid enough to wander off with someone?...Yes…Fuck. No, calm down…there would be no reason to kidnap Tohru…but she does know a lot about the Akatsuki…so if they wanted information…But what information could she give them?...Our favorite foods...If any of us are allergic to fabric softener…What kind of underwear we wear…The location of the base…__**Damn it**__!'_

* * *

"Aw Kisa isn't here," Momiji whined after flipping on the light of his small living room. "I guess there's always next time."

"Hopefully before your wedding," Tohru giggled.

"Unless your boyfriend keeps you super busy I'm sure I'll see you before then."

"B-boyfriend," Tohru sputtered. "No, no, no it's not like that…And I don't think Kakuzu would ever let me call him _that_ even if it was."

"Not into labels?"

"I don't think so."

"Would you like something to drink?" Momiji offered as he started off towards the kitchen.

"No," Tohru smiled. "I really should be getting back…I don't want anyone to worry."

"Kay, well let me go get what I wanted to give you."

Momiji disappeared down a narrow hallway, giving Tohru a chance to survey her surroundings. His apartment was small but cozy and much more homely than the base. Tohru frowned a little, anytime she tried making the base seem more welcoming something always went wrong. The last instance she had bought throw pillows for the living room but they met a swift and terrible demise when Kisame had decided to start beating Hidan with them. It had been a while ago but she was still finding random pieces of fluff when she cleaned.

'_Grown…er…men, shouldn't be instigating pillow fights.'_

"Here it is!" Momiji chirped as he re-entered the living room holding a medium sized black, red, and pink box. "It's a romance board game, should get the ball rolling between you two.

"Momiji I really don't need this," Tohru squeaked, looking down at the box as he handed it to her.

"Even if you don't get him to play it, you could at least look through some of the question cards…maybe they'll give you some good ideas!" Momiji laughed.

_**Icha Icha Embrace!**_

_The board game for lovers._

The words seemed to jump off the box. She had seen the game before, and though she was a fan of the series she really didn't have a reason to buy it. Part of her _was_ curious, but there was no way she would ever ask Kakuzu to sit down and play it with her.

"There are even three different levels you can play at; Lovey Dovey, Close Encounters, and Sexstacy. Lovey Dovey is pretty mellow, trust me."

'_Sexstacy! I can't believe he just said that…'_

"And you can just bring it back to me the next time you come to the conservatory."

"But…"

"No buts Tohru!"

* * *

"She wasn't there," Kakuzu growled, not even bothering to go through the window this time.

"Hm?" Konan frowned a little at the disgruntled man outside her office window.

"Tohru wasn't there," he bit out harshly.

"Sometimes they finish early," Konan shrugged, she didn't understand why he was making such a fuss.

"And?"

"Will you just come inside, you're getting soaked out there," she sighed.

"But she's missing!"

"She's not missing," Konan laughed. "Momiji always walks with her most of the way back to the base; sometimes they make a few stops along the way."

"Oh," Kakuzu grunted, he felt a little foolish for letting himself get so worked up about it. He didn't care about her…he just didn't want the location of the base being discovered.

'_Yes, and that's a perfectly reasonable reason to get worried…But it doesn't necessarily mean I was worried about _**her**_.'_

"Missing, his precious Tohru is missing, _oh no_…" Konan whispered to herself in amusement. "Quick, sound the alarm. The Akatuski housekeeper has been teen-napped and…"

Konan trailed off, noticing the fierce glare she was getting from Kakuzu. "Sorry, it's been a long day," she groaned. It really had been so she was very easily amused at the moment.

"She might already be at the base…"

"I already checked."

'_He looks like a creepy stalker standing out there like that,'_ Konan inwardly snorted.

"Well then I don't know what to tell you, but I'm sure she's fine…I bet her and Momiji just got sidetracked by..."

He was gone.

"Kami-sama have mercy on that poor girl," Konan murmured then laughed. "No, Kami-sama have mercy on that poor man."

'_Tohru is better equipped to deal with everything that comes with being in love but Kakuzu…if he doesn't get a hold of himself he's going to fall apart.'_

"Ha! Death by young woman…I need a nap."

* * *

"It was nice seeing you again," Tohru smiled, tilting her umbrella back to look at Momiji. They were pretty close to the base but she never allowed him to walk her all the way there.

"Take care Tohru, and at least give the game a try," he said, motioning to the plastic bag she was holding.

"I'm not making any promises," Tohru giggled. She planned on stuffing it in her closet the moment she got home. She might…_might_ take a look at it later, only to see if it had anything to do with the books.

"Okay," Momiji laughed.

"Goodnight!" Tohru called, watching him as he walked away.

"Night!" he called back.

Tohru glanced down at the bag she was holding and sighed. Hopefully Kakuzu wouldn't be at the base, she didn't want to chance him seeing it. She'd die of embarrassment.

"Where the hell have you been?" someone asked suddenly.

Tohru shrieked and spun around. Without thinking she swung the bag and her umbrella at the dark figure that had appeared out of nowhere.

"Tohru…damn it," Kakuzu managed to say as he tried to fend off her assault.

"Get away!" she screamed, continuing to swing her 'weapons' at her 'attacker'.

"_Loon_, it's me," he grumbled as he pulled the bag from her hand and held her umbrella still.

"Kuzu-kun?" Tohru asked, finally getting a good look at him.

"Who else would it be?" he asked sharply, a little annoyed by the fact that she had jabbed him several times with the umbrella and had even managed to hit him with whatever she had in the bag. Whatever it was it had sharp corners.

"I'm so sorry!"

"Hn…what do you have in here anyway?" he asked, lifting the bag up to look inside.

"No!" she squealed, letting go of the umbrella to lunge at him.

"Well now I'm curious," he teased, easily side-stepping away from her, pulling the box out of the bag at the same time.

"Momiiji gave it to me," Tohru whimpered miserably.

"Icha Icha Embrace?" Kakuzu laughed. "And who did you plan on playing this with?"

"No one!"

"You were going to play alone?" he asked, while he scanned the back of the game.

"Hm, comes with a feather tickler, a blindfold, and some restraints," he mused aloud, unable to hide his grin. "Doesn't seem like the type of game that would be very fun to play alone."

"What?" Tohru choked.

"No passing out on me," Kakuzu warned when he saw her sway a little. He leaned down, picked up her fallen umbrella and handed it to her.

"I wasn't sure what we would do tonight…but this'll work."

"No."

"Why would you borrow something you don't intend on using?"

"I didn't borrow it; he forced me to take it."

"It would be a shame to let his generosity go to waste."

* * *

She couldn't sing worth a damn, but at least listening to her wail away in the shower was keeping him amused. She was going to have a shit-fit when she finally came out and saw him in her room but there was no way Kakuzu was going to let Tohru hide out in here to get out of playing the game with him. It was too good an opportunity to miss out on.

He had sifted through some of the 'Lovey-Dovey' question and challenge cards, throwing out ones he knew would be too much for Tohru. He knew even just the idea of 'exploring you're partners body using only your lips' would send her into a coma. Aside from a few cards here and there though, most of them were fairly innocent.

He had just been teasing her about playing but once he had actually looked through the game manual he realized it wasn't just a sex game, though it could be played that way. The 'Lovey-Dovey' cards were more about establishing better contact between partners, both physically and emotionally. If she would actually sit down and play it could help her ease up around him a little more.

It was like she kept teetering between being a nervous wreck around him and being comfortable with him. He hoped the game would push her forward or else things could continue the way they were now and he would never win the damn bet…he was _not_ going to lose to Hidan.

He heard the shower shut off, followed by the sound of Tohru shuffling around the bathroom. After a few minutes the door opened.

"Ka-ka-kakuzu?" Tohru stammered upon seeing him sitting on her bedroom floor leaning back against her bed with the board game already set out in front of himself.

"Took you long enough," he complained. "I myself have already taken my shower, annoyed Hidan, set up the game and even read through the rules…all within the time it took for you to finish."

"B-but the d-d-door it was…it was…"

"Locked?"

Tohru nodded numbly. She was somewhat glad she had gotten dressed in her pajamas before stepping out, because sometime she didn't.

"It's not hard to pop the lock on these doors," Kakuzu grinned. "So are you ready to play?"

Tohru eyed her door, considering making a run for it. If she tried though she would have to go past Kakuzu and she doubted he would let her go.

'_I could always lock myself in the bathroom…but it doesn't have a lock…'_

"Do I have a choice?" Tohru groaned.

"I want you to at least give it a try, but I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do. If you are uncomfortable with one of the questions or challenges we can stop or you can choose a different one."

Tohru sat down across from Kakuzu guardedly and picked up one of the pink cards, a question card.

_**Which type of movie do you prefer: A romantic comedy or tragedy?**_

'_That's not so bad I guess.' _

She placed the card down on the board and picked up one of the red cards, a challenge card.

_**Show your partner how you feel about them rather than telling them.**_

Tohru blushed, she wasn't sure what she would do if she had actually drawn the card while playing but she did have to admit it was a mild challenge compared to what she had thought it would be.

"We'll stop whenever I say stop right?" Tohru asked.

"All you have to do is say the word," Kakuzu assured her.

Tohru took a deep breath and nodded, "Okay."

"I'll go first," Kakuzu smirked; glad she hadn't gone running out of the room screaming like she looked like she would a moment ago. He picked up the black die with little red dots and tossed it onto the board. It bounced a few times and settled on a three.

"Now I move accordingly," he explained pushing the red heart, no way in hell he was using the pink one, forward three places to a pink square.

"Pink, so I pull a question card."

"What are the purple squares?" Tohru asked, watching him pick up one of the pink cards.

"Truth or dare," Kakuzu replied, reading the question on his card.

"Oh…"

"You get to choose which one you want though, so if you wanted you could just choose truth each time and I would get to ask you any question I wanted… Understand?"

Tohru nodded.

"Back to the game. What was your first impression of me?"

"Well, honestly…you scared me," Tohru admitted sheepishly.

"Do I still scare you?"

"Only a little," Tohru replied giving him a small smile.

"You're turn," Kakuzu chuckled.

Tohru picked up the die and rolled it, a five. Kakuzu moved the pink heart to a red square. Tohru could feel her gut twist a little as she picked up a red card.

_**Kiss your partner.**_

'_I can't do this…'_

"You can choose a different card," Kakuzu offered noticing how pale she had become.

"No…"

'_No!...Tohru what are you thinking…you should have said yes…no…I can do this.'_

"What does it say?" Kakuzu asked.

Tohru bit her bottom lip nervously but didn't reply. If she actually had to tell him what the card told her to do she would lose her nerve. Silently she moved around the board, trying not to look at him.

"Tohru?"

'_I can do this,' _she told herself again once she was kneeling beside him. Tohru rose up just enough to shyly press her lips to his. Kakuzu smirked a little against her lips before returning the kiss. Gently and slowly his lips moved against hers, trying to coax her into lingering a little longer. To his satisfaction it worked, she was even beginning to try mimicking his movements.

Kakuzu pulled away, chuckling a little when Tohru almost fell forward before catching herself.

"My turn?" he asked lightly.

Tohru nodded, slightly annoyed that he had stopped. _'That was much better than the other times…and easier than I thought it would be.' _

"Have you ever fantasized about someone of the same sex?" Kakuzu laughed, he had already rolled, moved and pulled a card.

"No…why would I?" Tohru asked, wrinkling her nose a little.

"So you only _fantasize_ about men?" he asked, try to tease her a little.

"Of course," Tohru replied, looking at him as if he were crazy. "Why, do you fantasize about members of the same sex?"

"No," Kakuzu retorted quickly, he had expected her to get flustered by the admission that she did indeed fantasize about people not question his sexuality. "Hn, just role the die."

Tohru groaned, she had rolled a three, which put her on another red square. It didn't seem fair, Kakuzu was getting the pink cards and she was stuck with the red. Upon reading the card though she couldn't help but giggle, the challenge just seemed goofy.

"Uh, can I see your hand?"

"Which one?" Kakuzu asked, arching a brow. He hadn't gone through all of the cards so he wasn't sure why she could possibly need his hand.

"Doesn't matter."

Kakuzu held out his right hand and watched as Tohru took it, lifting up just enough to place a kiss on each of his fingertips. She released his hand once she was finished, trying to hold back her laughter, and pointed to his other hand.

Kakuzu's jaw clenched tightly, she may have thought it was hilarious but the simple action was having an effect on him. The fact that she was completely oblivious as to what it had done to him only made it worse.

"I think one is enough," he rasped.

'_This isn't supposed to be effecting __**me**__, it's supposed to be effecting __**her**__,' _he growled inwardly, as he snatched up the dice, he needed a one or a three; either would put him on red.

A three.

'_Now let's see if I can wipe the amused look off her face.'_

Tohru eyed Kakuzu suspiciously when an almost wicked looking grin spread across his lips as his eyes scanned over his card.

"W-what are you doing?" Tohru asked when he suddenly pulled her into his lap facing towards him.

"It'll work better this way," he said.

"What will?"

His hands gripped her hips tightly to keep her from moving away, if she said stop he would stop if not…

He dipped his head down towards her, momentary nuzzling her cheek before pressing a soft kiss against the base of her jaw.

"Ah, Ka-k-kakuzu, what are you…"

"Exactly what the card told me to do," he hummed before trailing his lips further down her neck. "Do you want me to stop?"

'_Yes…and no…maybe…'_

She felt his lips part against the skin of her neck. His mouth felt impossibly hot, almost searing as he lightly sucked against the tender flesh.

A sigh unwillingly broke past Tohru's lips. It felt good, no…it felt better than just good, but she couldn't find a word that seemed fitting…amazing maybe?...

'_But…I don't want this to go too quickly…He said I could say stop…I need to say stop…'_

"Kakuzu," Tohru gasped when he began to suck harder. "S-s-st…"

She couldn't get the word to come out. Luckily Kakuzu stopped on his own. He pulled back a little, smirking as he surveyed his 'work', and then pulled away completely.

He shifted slightly, enough to grab the card he had pulled so he could hold it up to answer Tohru's questioning gaze.

_**Give your partner a love bite.**_

"You didn't!" Tohru squeaked, her hand flying up to cover her neck.

"Just a little one," he grinned.

Kakuzu allowed her to scramble away from him, laughing when she scurried off into the bathroom.

"Little!" Tohru yelled from inside.

"That's not little," she glared a few seconds later from the doorway.

"Maybe I got a little carried away," he smiled. "So does that look mean you want to stop?"

"No," Tohru sulked, sitting back down beside Kakuzu. "But I may want to read your cards before letting you do anything again."

Kakuzu nodded, "Fair enough."

"I'm going to get teased because of this," Tohru grumbled as she rolled the die. Three, a pink card.

She flipped it over and stared wide-eyed at the card, a quick blush rising to her cheeks.

"Um, I think…I think I want a new card."

Kakuzu arched a brow, it was only a question card he could see her being uncomfortable with a challenge but…

"What does it say?"

Tohru shook her head and placed the card face down on the board before reaching for another. Curiosity getting the better of him, Kakuzu picked up he discarded card and flipped it over.

_**Do you masturbate and if so, how often?**_

"Oh," he croaked.

Torhu tried fighting off a smile and giggle, but failed. The question was awkward and apparently Kakuzu thought so too by the very light pink tinge that had spread over his cheeks. She had never seen him blush before; she didn't think it was even possible.

"Cute," she squeaked softly before she could stop herself. It was worth pulling that card just to see him as he was now.

"Just read the other card," Kakuzu grumbled.

"Hai, If I promise not to get upset, can you tell me something you would like to change about me but haven't had the nerve to tell me?"

Kakuzu quietly considered the girl sitting beside him. Would he really want to change anything about her?

'_She trusts people too easily…but if she didn't, I doubt I would be sitting in her room right now. She's too shy, but I guess I prefer that over her throwing herself at me…She's too kind…I'm sure if I told her right now that this is all because of a bet…she would get mad, but she would end up forgiving me…She wouldn't be her if she changed anything…I don't __**like**__ her, but I don't mind her…I wouldn't __**want**__ her to change. But if I did change something…'_

"If you haven't guessed by now," he started slowly. "I wanted you to play this game with me to get you to be more comfortable around me. I want you to talk to me…I want you to be okay with me getting close to you…If I kiss you, or touch you, or hold you, I don't want to feel like I'm fighting you to do it…unless it's because you really don't want me to. If that really is the case then…"

'_That's really what he wants?'_

"No," she murmured, cutting him off. She took a deep breath and moved to sit in his lap, with her back resting against his chest. The game still made her uncomfortable, she didn't want to do or ask something just because a card told her to do it.

"Can we stop playing?" she asked softly.

"If that's what you want," Kakuzu replied. If it wasn't for the fact that she had willingly moved into his lap he would have been slightly disappointed that she didn't want to play anymore.

"But for the records, I won," Tohru giggled.

"We didn't finish, how did you win?"

"I'm ahead of you, so I win."

"That doesn't seem fair," Kakuzu chuckled, his arms coming up to wrap around her loosely.

"It's perfectly fair."

"Hn, if you say so. So your mother was a ninja?" he asked, remembering that he had wanted to ask her that morning but hadn't got a chance to.

"Uh-huh," Tohru said brightly.

"Was your father one as well?"

"No, he was a civilian. I have a picture if you would like to see," she said jumping up from his lap, not bothering to wait for an answer. She padded over to her dresser, pulling it open.

"See?" she smiled, after walking back and returning to her place in his lap.

Kakuzu took the picture frame from her small hands and studied the three people smiling back at him.

"You look like your father," he noted, eyeing the tall brunette standing beside a ginger-haired woman who was holding a very young Tohru.

"Yup," Tohru chirped.

"What happened to them?" he asked, hoping it wouldn't be a sore subject.

"Well…Papa got sick when I was little…mom said he just couldn't get better."

*Tohru frowned a little, but not so much about her father's passing. She had already mourned his death, and through the guidance of her mother began celebrating his life. No, she frowned because even though she was young she still remembered everything about when he had gotten sick. The wariness in his eyes, the occasional wheeze that accompanied his voice, the tremors of his hands…she was beginning to see the same things in Itachi. He never said anything, and she wasn't sure who knew…she worried about him.*

"And mom," she said, trying not to dwell on it. "She died about six months before I came here, but I'm not sure how she died. She said that if she didn't return from a mission one day it would be better if I didn't ask about what had happened…so I didn't."

"Do you have any other family?" Kakuzu asked, reaching back enough to lay the fame against the bed behind him.

"I have all of you," Tohru smiled, tilting her head back to try looking at him.

"You're going to hurt your neck," he chuckled.

"Kuzu-kun…I know why Sasori left his village…and I know why Deidara left his…why did you leave yours?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes."

"You might think I'm a monster if I told you."

"No I won't."

"I was sent on a mission to assassinate a very powerful ninja…"

"Who?" Tohru broke in.

"You're all about the details aren't you?"

"Details make a story," Tohru giggled.

"The first Hokage…"

"Hokage?"

"The leader of the village hidden in the leaves."

"Oh."

"I lost the fight but managed to escape. When I returned to my village I was imprisoned due to my failure."

Tohru shifted around enough to look at him with wide eyes. "Why would they do that?"

"In their opinion I should have died trying to kill him rather than retreating."

"Did you get out?"

"I'm sitting here aren't I?" Kakuzu laughed. "Weird girl. Yes, I broke out and before I left I killed the village elders and took their hearts."

"Why would you want their hearts?" Tohru asked, looking a little grossed out. She knew he liked liver, if he said he also liked heart she was going to gag. They only needed one cannibal in the Akatsuki, and Zetsu more than filled that position.

"It's always useful to have spare hearts."

'_Sent on an impossible mission, imprisoned by his own village for not completing said mission and because he didn't die trying…brooding away in some dingy cell…then one day, in a fit of rage, he breaks out and kills his captors…stealing their hearts…it's better than Icha Icha…just needs romance…uh…so he joins the Akatsuki and falls madly in love with their housekeeper!'_

"Tohru?" Kakuzu asked cautiously, not liking the far off, dreamy look on her face.

* * *

I sort of based Icha Icha Embrace off a real board game called Embrace…yeah…fun game.


	10. Chapter 10: Sociopath

**_Chapter 10: Sociopath_**

* * *

"Kakuzu, I thought you would be asleep," Konan said, spotting Kakuzu as he was just about to enter his room. "Well since you're up I need to speak with you."

"It can't wait?" Kakuzu grumbled, he and Tohru had ended up talking for a few hours and his legs were stiff from sitting on her floor that long, he just wanted to go to bed.

"It's about a mission for you and Hidan, if we go over the details tonight you two would be able to leave earlier tomorrow morning."

"Mission!" Kakuzu snapped. "We just got back from a mission; send Sasori and Deidara I _know_ they haven't been out in a while."

"We were going to go originally but with all things considered you and Hidan would be more apt for this particular mission," Sasori smirked walking out from Konan's office to stand beside the blue haired woman.

"Come inside and we'll discuss the details," said Konan, giving Kakuzu a look that told him it wasn't up for debate.

"Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?" Kakuzu bit out once he, Sasori and Konan entered the office.

"Sasori didn't bring it to my attention until I got back about an hour ago."

"What do you mean Sasori didn't tell you, if this has something to do with him, he should be the one dealing with it," Kakuzu growled, glaring daggers at the redhead.

"One of my subordinates has broken contact with me, either my technique has somehow been released or they're dead. I need to know which it is," Sasori stated casually.

"That's your problem."

"It's our problem," Konan corrected. "Sasori's sleeper agents _are_ his responsibility but this particular one is very strong and very fast that's why I want you and Hidan to go instead of Sasori and Deidara. If he's dead I want you to find out the cause of his death, if the technique has been broken there's a possibility that he could try engaging you in which case you'll need to kill him."

"His memories should still be suppressed but there's a marginal chance that something has gone wrong. Any information about the Akatsuki wouldn't necessarily be detrimental to us but could cause some minor annoyances," Sasori explained, replying to Kakuzu's glare with a smirk.

"Sounds really fucking important."

"The Akatsuki is beginning to draw more and more attention but at the moment we would still like to keep as low a profile as possible. Even 'minor annoyances' are more than we want right now, at least until we start to become more aggressive in our actions."

"It's still his fucking problem," Kakuzu snapped, his glare turning to Konan.

"Excuse me?" Konan hissed. "You don't have a choice in the matter, this is an order. What the hell is wrong with you tonight, you hardly ever throw a fit when asked to do something."

"Tohru," Sasori coughed.

"This is about Tohru?" Konan exclaimed in a combination of surprise, agitation, and a tiny…very tiny bit of humor.

"No!" Kakuzu yelled, even though it was the truth. Everything was progressing well with her but the time remaining to win the bet made him uneasy. That and he didn't want to come back to find that everything he had thus far accomplished with her had come undone.

"She'll still be here when you get back," Konan sighed as she reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Men became downright weird when women were involved.

"I think he's worried that she'll have a change of heart while he's away because he's not spending every waking moment stalking her," Sasori nodded sagely.

"I don't stalk her!"

"It doesn't matter!" Konan said quickly trying to disperse a fight she knew was bound to happen if the two continued. "If you're quick the mission could take as little as three days."

"Nothing is ever _quick_ when Hidan is involved."

"Funny because he says the same about you," Konan snorted a little. She rolled her eyes and placed a folder on her desk. "This has the information on your target and their location."

"Are you sure he'll be there, you aren't very good at knowing where people are supposed to be," he retorted. His eyes instantly clenched shut at the realization of how immature the comment had sounded.

"Just because it's a bit of a novelty to see you like this I'm going to let this attitude of yours slide," Konan chuckled, shaking her head.

"I'll take the mission," Kakuzu grumbled, taking the folder from her desk. "But if I need a new partner after this I will not be held responsible."

"It's not like you can kill him," Konan snorted.

"Oh I don't have to kill him to make sure he never sees the light of day again," Kakuzu said darkly. "So are we finished?"

"Yes," Konan sighed.

"There is one question I wanted to ask you though Konan-sama, but it doesn't involve _you_," Sasori said, giving Kakuzu a pointed look.

"Whatever," Kakuzu said, turning to leave.

"It's about Tohru," Sasori said just as Kakuzu reached for the door, causing the taller man to turn back around.

"Something you wanted?" Sasori asked innocently.

Konan arched a brow; both of them were acting extremely…odd.

"What were you going to ask?"

Sasori shrugged a little, turning his attention to Konan. "Me and Deidara were talking and it came to our attention that because none of us were really here for Tohru's birthday last month," Sasori said turning an evil look to Kakuzu. "At least any of us that really cared about Tohru at the time. She really didn't have much of a birthday, so we wanted to know if it would be okay to take her to an onsen for a few days."

"She's not allowed to leave the village!" Kakuzu fumed.

"That would be _my_ decision," Konan said, eyeing Kakuzu, he looked beyond flustered. "But Kakuzu is right, I would prefer if Tohru didn't leave the village."

"She wouldn't have to, we don't have any natural hot springs but I do know of a very nice ryokan which offers several artificial baths…even a mixed one, I'm sure Tohru and Deidara would enjoy themselves very much."

"You and Deidara are not taking her _anywhere_…especially if I'm out taking care of your fucking problems!"

"Not a whole lot you can do about it, I'm sure Tohru will agree," Sasori smirked. Kakuzu prided himself on being 'rational' but if you knew the right buttons to press, as Sasori did, he was rather easy to manipulate.

"Like hell!" Kakuzu yelled, storming out of the office.

"Uh…I'm sure Tohru really would like to go but," Konan said, still staring at the door Kakuzu had slammed behind him. "I don't think…I'm not sure if I want to find out what would happen if Kakuzu got back and found out that she _had_ gone…After that whole incident with Hisha…I mean…"

"I won't be taking Tohru," Sasori laughed lightly.

"You did that just to piss him off?" Konan asked.

"Sort of," Sasori nodded. "You see, I can guarantee you that he is either going to go wake up Tohru now, or before he leaves in the morning so he can inform her that _he_ will be taking her. He'll think that if Tohru knows that he wants to take her she's decline to go with me and Deidara. So actually Tohru will need a few days off _after_ he returns."

"You never planned on taking her yourself did you?" Konan deadpanned.

"No," Sasori smiled.

"Why would you do that to him?"

"It's for his own good, trust me. With how cheap he is he would have never willingly taken her and I think if this relationship is to ever fully blossom to its full potential they need to remove themselves from their everyday settings. This way it will be just Kakuzu and just Tohru, not Kakuzu of the Akatsuki and Tohru the housekeeper."

"Is there a reason you feel the need to meddle in their relationship?" Konan groaned.

"I have my reasons."

"Well that wasn't cryptic at all," she said sarcastically. "But I don't know if I like the idea of our little Tohru…naked…with an equally naked Kakuzu."

"The mixed baths require bathing suits," Sasori laughed.

"So you've already done your research of the place?"

"Of course I did."

"And how do you know he'll take her to that particular one?"

"There are only three total. The other two are simply day onsen and are open to the public so actually there is only one ryokan that offers an onsen…he won't have a choice in which one he takes her to."

Konan nodded, trying to figure out which place he could be talking about. The village was closed off so they didn't ever get tourists but because they were closed off that also meant that people generally weren't allowed to travel for leisure purposes. You would think the lack of tourist traffic would kill things like ryokans and onsen but actually business went pretty well for them. People liked the illusion of 'getting away' even if they weren't technically leaving the village.

"Atami…is that the name?" Konan asked, finally remembering.

"M-hmm," Sasori nodded.

"He's going to pay out the nose for a room there," Konan laughed.

"I'm sure it will be worth every ryo."

"It's targeted at couples though…"

"Isn't that what they are?"

Konan wrinkled her nose a little at the thought. "Oh Kami…they are, aren't they?"

"Hn, just figuring that out now?"

"You don't think they're…ya know…"

"Having sex?" Sasori asked bluntly. "I'm pretty sure that would be a no."

"That's good."

"Why?"

"It's…well…it's _Tohru_."

"Yes, sweet little Torhu who you desensitized by getting hooked on those damned books," Sasori said dryly.

"I didn't want to have _the talk_ with her, I thought she would be better off reading about it," Konan sighed.

"You mean _the talk_ her mother had already had with her?"

"What?...how would you know..I mean…"

"Interesting subjects get brought up when you spend a lot of time with someone, sex included."

"Tohru has actually talked to you about sex?" Konan asked, staring wide-eyed at Sasori.

"Yes, and thankfully because of the advice given by her mother she has a very grounded outlook on the matter. I think those books have warped her mind a little on how the act itself is carried out but she is still aware of the emotional ramifications that come with a physical relationship."

"So you don't think she would ever…well…"

"Have sex with Kakuzu?" Sasori laughed. "How old are you again Konan?"

"Why does that matter?" Konan snapped.

"Because I don't think a woman your age should be getting so squirrely when talking about sex. But to answer your question, of course it's going to happen. _When_ it happens is completely up to the two of them, but I think they are more than capable of making that decision wisely."

"I just don't want her to rush into anything…it's her first relationship...I don't want her to feel like…"

"Taking a relationship to a physical level may change how you see the person you sleep with but it won't necessarily make a relationship stronger or weaker. It won't make the other person want to stay with you longer and it doesn't mean the person loves you. It can be an enjoyable part of being in a relationship with someone who cares about you but it's not something you should rush into. On the other hand it's not something you should shy away from because of the misconception that it's wrong. If it is something that both of you truly wish to share it's not something you should feel ashamed about, even if it doesn't work out between the two of you in the end."

Konan tilted her head to one side, giving Sasori a questioningly look. She supposed he was right in some respect but _she_ wasn't the one that needed the advice.

"Tohru quoted that to me when I asked her view on sex," Sasori explained. "It was what her mother told her when she gave her _the talk_. She seems naive but I think she's more mature and level-headed than we sometimes give her credit for…but anyway. If nothing comes up Deidara and I may suddenly feel the need to accidentally show up at Atami the same day Kakuzu and Tohru go."

"Oh I'm sure he'll be thrilled to have you two tag along," Konan laughed.

"I'm not going to miss out on seeing them interact…or Tohru in a bathing suit…"

"I don't think she even owns one."

"That's something I can help her out with," Sasori smirked. "And without Kakuzu around I'm free to persuade her into buying one that I think would be…enjoyable…to see her in."

"I don't understand you sometimes Sasori," Konan groaned, pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes.

"What's there to understand? Granted I can't get sexual gratification from seeing a pretty girl in a bathing suit but it doesn't mean that I don't still like looking. It's a shame really," Sasori mused, tapping his index finger to his chin thoughtfully. "Until I met Tohru I never understood the subtle sensuality of simple white cotton panties. It wouldn't do me any good to act on impulse but I will disclose that the idea has crossed my mind a few times."

"No," Sasori chuckled, when Konan glanced down to his crotch. "But you would be amazed by the modifications I can come up with."

"Do I _want_ to know when you've had the opportunity to see Tohru's underwear." Konan asked, choosing not to follow the subject of what Sasori did or didn't have.

"I've seen them on a number of occasions. She does have a wide variety…but white cotton happens to be my favorite."

* * *

He couldn't forbid her from going with Sasori, it would seem possessive.

"Stupid fucking puppet," he grumbled. It had become Sasori's unofficial name, one that he thought was quite fitting.

'_I am not possessive. It isn't possessive to not want your…my…argh,' _Kakuzu was stopped by his own thoughts as he paced his room. _'I don't want her spending an excessive amount of time with Deidara, she's given up on him and it needs it to stay that way if I'm going to win the bet.'_

Like anything having to do with Tohru as of late he repeatedly told himself that it was only because of the bet, anything he did was for the bet, any feelings he experienced were because of the bet…but he couldn't deny the small twinge of jealousy at the idea of Deidara and Tohru sitting together…naked…at a hot spring. Jealousy, no matter how he looked at it, it had nothing to do with the bet.

"If anyone takes her it's going to be me…and if she's going with me she won't be going with Sasori."

Just as Sasori predicted Kakuzu made a swift exit from his room and hurried down the hall. He knew Tohru was asleep; he had been there when she had fallen asleep but he figured it would be better to wake her now rather than trying to talk to her in the morning amongst everything else he needed to take care of before him and Hidan left.

He didn't knock or pause to give thought to what he was doing before he entered her room.

"Tohru," he said gently as he sat down on the edge of her bed, giving her a small nudge.

"You sleep like the dead," he chuckled under his breath when she didn't show any signs of waking up.

"Torhu," he tried again, a little louder this time.

"Kuzu-kun?" Tohru asked groggily, blinking up at him through sleep laden eyes. "Something wrong?"

"I'm leaving on a mission tomorrow. We'll probably head out before you usually wake up so I thought I would let you know now. I'm not sure how long the mission is going to be but once we get back I'm going to take you to an onsen for a few days, if that's something you would like to do."

"What about Kyo?" Tohru murmured, still half asleep.

'_I tell her I'm leaving and I plan on taking her somewhere, she should find romantic, when I get back and her first thought is about the damn cat?' _

"I'm sure you can get Deidara or Konan to look after it," Kakuzu sighed.

"Hn," Tohru mumbled, her eyes beginning to close.

"Not going to tell me you'll miss me at least?"

"Why?" Tohru asked, her eyes opening again. "Where are you going?"

"Mission," Kakuzu chuckled. "I have a mission. I just told you that."

Tohru, slowly starting to get with the program, sat up. "How long are you going to be gone?" she asked in concern.

"I told you, I'm not sure, hopefully no more than three days."

"Oh," Tohru frowned.

"And when I get back," Kakuzu smiled, a small part of him happy to see that she didn't want him to go. "We're going to an onsen for a few days."

"What about Kyo?"

Kakuzu couldn't help but laugh. She was spacey most of the time but even more so just after waking up. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers. "What am I going to do with you?" he sighed in faux exasperation. "Either Konan or Deidara will take care of Kyo I'm sure."

"Okay," Tohru smiled.

"So are you going to tell me you'll miss me so I can let you get back to sleep?" Kakuzu asked as he pulled away from her.

"I will miss you," Tohru said softly. "Be safe, okay?"

* * *

"Get off!" Hidan wailed as Kakuzu pressed his foot harder against the side of his face, in turn pressing Hidan's head harder into the dirt. "The fuck is wrong with you!"

"You were snoring," Kakuzu growled.

Hidan tried prying Kakuzu's foot away but it wouldn't budge, it was hard to get a good grip and proper leverage with how he was pinned down. He had been sleeping, quite happily he might add, when he had received a rather rude awakening. Kakuzu had first punched him, which left him dazed, kicked him in the gut, and then began trying to stomp his head into the ground.

"And I just hate you," Kakuzu added as he moved his foot enough to grind Hidan's cheek against the dirt.

"I didn't do anything!" Hidan screamed. This wasn't the first time that Kakuzu had done something like this, but usually it was because he had said or done something. This time he had only been _sleeping_.

"You don't have to do anything," Kakuzu sneered. "Just the fact that you're here is enough to annoy me."

"How is that my fault!"

"I don't like waking up to your sorry ass!"

Kakuzu pulled his foot away from Hidan's face.

"And I don't want to be on this fucking mission!"

Hidan scrambled to his feet, his hair sticking up in random places, small rocks imbedded in one side of his face, and the impression of Kakuzu's sandal on the other side. He tried glaring at the taller masked man but it seemed pointless, Kakuzu had walked away and was pacing amongst the trees.

"That worthless piece of shit Sasori, he should be the one out here!"

He should be mad, he really should be, but confusion was taking over as Hidan watched Kakuzu throwing what seemed to be a fit. Someone had to of snuck into the camp sometime during the night, stole Kakuzu and replaced him with this imposter. Kakuzu _did_ have a temper, a violent one in fact…but he usually didn't have issues with going on simple missions, regardless of how stupid they seemed to be.

"He did it on purpose!" Kakuzu yelled, pointing stiffly at Hidan. "That little son of a bitch, I'm getting tired of his fucking games. None of this is any of his business!"

Hidan absently brushed the gravel from his cheek, a little unnerved by Kakuzu at the moment. The old man had finally gone off the deep end.

"Uh Kakuzu?" Hidan said cautiously, prepared to run if needed. "It's just a standard mission, I don't think Sasori…"

"He did!" Kakuzu bellowed, cutting Hidan off. "He's some kind of sick voyeuristic bastard, that's why he's doing it!"

"You think Sasori is watching us?" Hidan asked slowly.

"No!"

"Then what the fuck are you talking about!"

"He's a sociopath!"

"Sasori?"

"Yes."

"How is Sasori a sociopath?"

"He's trying to play us like…like his fucking puppets!"

"You and I?" Hidan asked, arching a brow.

"No!"

Hidan slumped down; sitting sprawled out in the dirt. He didn't get it, Kakuzu had been okay the day before, he had been a little on edge but nothing major…and now this. He was raving like a fucking lunatic.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hidan groaned, he didn't _want_ to know, but if he did know he might be able to find a way to bring his partner back from whatever madness he had slipped into.

"He's trying to interfere with me and Tohru. That's the real reason behind this _mission_!"

"Hey you can't prove that!" Hidan yelled, worried Kakuzu was going to use it as a way of turning this bet in his favor without actually winning.

"I don't need his input, I don't want his input, I don't even want him talking to _her_ anymore. God knows the shit he's telling her. Making it all play out to suite his own fucking desires. If I do something it's because I _want_ to do something, and if she does something I want to know that it's her own fucking choices not because of something that fucking puppet said or did!"

Kakuzu continued to fume away. He had been pissed when he had been forced to go on this mission, it meant less time to finish the bet and also… he didn't like the idea of being away from Tohru which pissed him off even more. He didn't _want_ to worry about what she was doing, if she was okay, if she went out somewhere and what could happen if the person escorting her somehow lost her. Rationally he knew that she had managed to do just fine without him for three years but now that she was…

She was _his_, even if it was just for the sake of winning this bet she was still _his_. He had come to the painful realization that he did care about her, on some level, when she had fallen asleep, curled up in his lap, while talking to him. She enjoyed his company, and he could tell she meant it when she had told him that she would miss him while he was gone…but…

Last night, as he tried forcing himself to sleep, his mind had begun to wander. Did she care about him because of something _he_ did or did Sasori somehow manipulate her? The idea of it had actually hurt more than he cared to admit, hence the reason for Hidan's cruel wake-up call.

The mission was bogus, he knew it. So that was one way Sasori was manipulating them. He had a sneaking suspicion that his decision to take Tohru to the onsen was also planned on Sasori's part. Sasori had even edited his book…which he planned on burning the moment he got back to the base.

Whatever game the puppet was playing needed to end. It was going to end, Kakuzu would see to it. If Tohru did ever admit that she loved him it would be because she really did, not because Sasori had somehow made her believe that she did. He wasn't going to have it any other way.

He still fully intended on winning the bet but his decision to simply drop her afterwards had been swayed. He didn't mind the idea of seeing where things ended up, and more importantly…he didn't want to hurt her.

* * *

"Always towards absent lovers loves tide stronger flows," Sasori sighed dramatically, watching as Tohru cleaned and already clean kitchen.

"Huh?" Tohru huffed, only pausing for a second to look at Sasori before going back to scrubbing a cabinet door.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," Sasori explained. "If you read something other than all that smut you would know that. But I don't think the statement is true in your case, for you I would say that absence makes your brain go loopy."

"I am not loopy."

"What do you plan on doing after you've finished cleaning cabinet doors?"

"I was going to clean the top of the cabinets," Tohru nodded.

"You mean the counter tops?"

"No, I mean the top of the cabinets, it gets dusty up there."

"See, loopy. He's only been gone for a day and already you're losing it."

He had been hoping to see her mope around the base, sighing wistfully until Kakuzu got back, not flying around like a cleaning crazed madwoman. In a way he almost felt bad for coming up with his little ploy. His sleeper agent had indeed stopped communication, but it wasn't as dire a situation as he had made it seem. The kid was dead, plain and simple. Not because he had been found out…no he was just dead. Konan, or more importantly Pain would have his head if they ever found out that he had essentially manipulated them into making Kakuzu and Hidan go on their little mission, but he was confident that they wouldn't catch on.

Absence _did_ make the heart grow fonder, thus the reason why he wanted to get the two of them separated for a while. As hard as it was putting up with Tohru in her current state, Sasori took comfort in knowing that at least he wasn't in Hidan's shoes. Kakuzu was sure to be in a _wonderful_ mood.

"If your warm why don't you wear something other than a sweater?" Sasori asked when Tohru reached up to wipe her forehead with her sleeve.

"I'm not warm," Tohri said quickly. "I was cold…it's been cold lately."

"Not really, but if you say so," Sasori replied, arching a brow. The base was always a constant temperature. She had worn a sweater the day before as well now that he thought of it.

"You're not getting sick are you?" he asked.

"No."

"He might be back tomorrow," Sasori said, hoping to get a reaction out of her.

"I hope so," Tohru smiled, perking up considerably.

"Oh Tohru," Sasori smirked. "Are we falling for the oversized rag-doll?"

"He's not a rag-doll," Tohru grumbled. "And no…I just enjoy having him around…"

"Liar," Sasori chuckled.

"Maybe a little," Tohru smirked.

"Well then I should offer you some advice shouldn't I?" Sasori grinned, stepping closer to Tohru. "Regardless of what those silly books tell you, don't ever tell a man you love him until he tells you first."

"But isn't it better for the other person to know how you feel…even if they don't share those feelings?" Tohru asked. "I mean…I wouldn't say that I love him…I just…well if I ever do…"

"No," Sasori said. "For someone like Kakuzu, and trust me on this, you would only scare him away by telling him something like that. Men like him don't want to be smothered by affections."

"But…" Tohru trailed off with a frown. It didn't seem right…what he was saying, but she knew Sasori would never mislead her, and he did usually give good advice.

"Not to worry though," Sasori said soothingly upon seeing her face fall. "I'm not saying that he's incapable of returning your feelings, I just think that…to save yourself some heartache, it would be best not to tell him how you feel, at least not completely."

* * *

Hidan glanced to Kakuzu, he had finally calmed down. He really wasn't sure what to think or say, so rather than risk Kakuzu losing it again Hidan opted to travel in silence. From what he could gather from Kakuzu's little tirade, this bet was turning out to be more interesting than he had first thought. He knew that Tohru was starting to care for Kakuzu…but he hadn't expected for Kakuzu to start caring for Tohru, and from bits and pieces of what Kakuzu had said Hidan knew that was what was happening.

It was just flat out…weird, to think of Kakuzu falling for someone. Hidan reached up and rubbed his sore cheek. If this is what it was like when Kakuzu was in the beginning stages of falling, he didn't want to be around when he fell completely. It was a violent…and painful.

"I'm sorry," Kakuzu grunted.

"What?" Hidan squawked, his eyes going wide.

"I said…"

"No, stop it!" Hidan yelled, putting some distance between him and Kakuzu.

Kakuzu blinked a few times, Hidan was acting like he had just said he wanted to scull fuck him or something. For once Hidan hadn't done anything to warrant Kakuzu attack, so he was simply apologizing.

"You're fucking weirding me out!" Hidan exclaimed, walking even quicker up the path away from Kakuzu.

"This, this is why I stay away from anything with a vagina," Hidan yelled from up ahead. "Because this is what happens…they start getting in your head and shit and screwing everything up!"

"So you prefer something with a dick?" Kakuzu laughed, shaking his head.

"No!" Hidan screamed, spinning around to look at Kakuzu with a horrified expression. "I like pussy but I'm not going to get attached to the owner of the pussy!"

* * *

No there will still be no bow-chika-wow-wow for while. I just prefer it when a characters viewpoints on sex are clarified long before it actually happens… I hate when it's something along the lines of "She knew it just _felt_ right." That's a terrible reason to have sex.

Lol…Tohru is indeed far from my own personality type…so I struggled with what her viewpoint might be…BUT I see a lot of similarities between my life and Kyoko's…soooo the advise Kyoko gave to Tohru is essentially the same thing I once told my friend the night she was thinking about handing in the V-card…it's also the same advice I plan on giving my own munchkin…Anywho…I'm probably just over explaining things…yeah…

SASORI!...well…hmm…is he being evil…is he being helpful?... DUN-DUN-DUUUUUN…you're not sure are ya?


	11. Chapter 11: The Illusion of Perfection

_**Chapter 11: The Illusion of Perfection. **_

* * *

_It is better to be told a hurtful truth than to be told a comforting lie. In the end, the truth will make its way out and will hurt much more than it ever had to.

* * *

_She was sitting there, like she always did but tonight there was something different. She had lingered far longer than she normally did and she wouldn't meet his gaze. There were unspoken questions and confessions behind those teal eyes, perhaps they were what she was hiding. She couldn't hide anything from him; he didn't understand why she would even try. He could read her, she was a simple civilian. Silly, foolish child, that's what she was.

Her eyes rose from the floor to look at him. She didn't think he was paying attention; she could steal a glance without him seeing. She was wrong. He was watching her every move, he never got much work done when she was down here but it didn't matter. He liked to watch her.

Once she finished everything that she felt needed to be done to his room she would perch herself on one of his workbenches. Among the many other puppets sitting around her she would fade away. He liked to think that she was one of them, but she wasn't. She continued to breathe even if he didn't tell her to. She could move away from him even if he didn't want her to. She would say some of the most absurd things, things he never expected her to say. He couldn't control her; she wasn't one of them…

But sitting there amongst them… he liked to think that she could be.

"Sasori?" she finally said, breaking the silence.

"Yes?"

"What does it mean to be in love?"

"I think I'm the wrong person to ask."

She was frowning. Why did it matter what he thought love was? Love was fleeting, love was useless, love only brought you pain. It was something that he didn't need or want in his life.

"Oh," she mumbled.

"Why?"

She didn't respond.

"Do you think you're in love with someone?"

"I think I could be."

Who could she be in love with? Itachi maybe? He never talked to her. Kisame? He only talked to her when he wanted to pester her. Zetsu? Surely not. Kakuzu? That was laughable. Hisha? He liked to toy with her to stoke his own ego. Hisha would be logical, he flaunted himself around her, and he occasionally flirted with her. He never really meant anything by it but as a girl she would naturally fall for his game.

Stupid girl. Females were so easily swayed by a pretty face and charming words.

"You should tell him how you feel about him."

It would be entertaining to watch. She would get hurt because there was no way Hisha could ever settle for someone like her. She was pretty enough in her own way but she wasn't the buxom harlot conquests Hisha felt the need brag about constantly.

"Really?"

"He might feel the same way but how are you to ever know unless you tell him."

"I don't think I would be able to though."

"You can't live your life in uncertainty. You're meekness will cause you to miss out on many opportunities."

"I supposed your right."

"I always am."

"Sasori…"

She was breathing erratically; her nervousness was rolling off of her in waves.

"I think I'm in love with you."

His body faltered, for a brief moment he had lost control of it. She couldn't have just said what he was sure he had heard. He hadn't done anything to gain that sort of favor, how could she possibly love him.

It was like saying you loved something you have never truly seen. Like those ridiculous romantics who say they are in love with the moon or sun. It wasn't possible to love something without fully knowing it. She had only been there a few months, it wasn't long enough to fall in love.

To love something, to leave your heart so unguarded. He looked at her still sitting amongst his work. No she was not one of them, they could not love no matter how hard he willed them to.

A puppet that could love. A puppet that could breath. A puppet would come to him willingly. If he could but control her, what a puppet she would be. She would not be used to devastate nations but she could devastate in so many other ways. She could be his prized creation, his prized possession.

He didn't want her love; he had no use for it.

But there could come a day when he could use her to play the ultimate game.

If he could just control her.

* * *

"No, it has to be something good, something we know he couldn't somehow pull off," Sasori heard Hindan say from the living room. He could tell by his mild slur that he was drinking, but who was he drinking with?

"Should tell him he has to fall in love."

Kisame, it was definitely Kisame.

"Yes!" Hidan exclaimed as Sasori slowly and silently followed their voices, whatever they were talking about sounded interesting.

"Well no, not him fall in love, I don't think that's possible. He has to make _someone_ fall in love with _him,_" Hidan said.

"Kakuzu's not going to go for something like that," Kisame laughed.

"He could, if he doesn't it would be like admitting that he can't do it…he wouldn't do that."

"Okay, so just someone or someone in particular."

"Eh, I don't think it'll matter. No woman would _ever_ love _that_ fucker."

Sasori grinned into the darkness. When Tohru had confessed her 'love' he had found out soon after that what she thought was love was little more than a crush…puppy love. She had been young at the time so it was natural that she would confuse the feelings. Even so, Sasori knew that if he had perused anything she would have been quick to fall. Tohru's capacity to love was limitless…If anyone were to find something good in that greedy ill-tempered rag-doll it would be Torhu.

'_Kakuzu and Tohru…it would be so good if I could somehow make it work. I could make it work. It would be better than this one sided obsession she has with Deidara at the moment. That isn't going anywhere quickly…he's too young. Kakuzu though…if he did ever fall in love…he'd be the type to be devastated by it…'_

"What are you two talking about?" Sasori asked, stepping out to make himself known.

"Nothing," they both said quickly.

"It didn't sound like nothing. What are you planning?"

"The old man has a ridiculous amount of ryo stored up, I overheard him talking to his banker," Hidan sighed. "We thought if we could come up with a good enough bet…one that he would take…but wouldn't be able to win, we'd be able to pry a little away from him."

"So you're going to bet him that he can't make a woman fall in love with him?" Sasori snorted.

"Seemed like a good idea," Kisame shrugged.

"It is," Sasori nodded with a smirk. "But it shouldn't be just any woman."

"Why not?" Hidan mumbled.

"You're going to need proof; she'll need to say it. It has to be someone we can keep a close eye on to make sure he doesn't threaten her, or find some other way to make her say it…like paying her."

"Who should it be then?"

"There's always Konan…"

Hidan and Kisame cut him off with sharp laughter.

"Now that would be funnier than shit!" Hidan cackled.

"But he wouldn't go for it," Kisam said seriously.

"Perhaps, if not Konan…there's always Tohru…"

"Tohru," Kisame hummed. "But she's after Deidara…"

"Deidara?" Hidan laughed, it was news to him. "She has the hots for that fucktard."

"Why wouldn't she?" Sasori asked dryly. "They're the same age and share similar interests."

"How old is Tohru?" Hidan asked, looking a little too interested for Sasori's liking.

"Eighteen."

"Hn, I thought she was younger."

"Anyway," Sasori said sharply. "The fact that she has a crush on Deidara would only make it harder on Kakuzu."

"He has a point," Kisame nodded. "Pretty blonde boy verses dusty old man, no way could he steal her attention away."

"You think Deidara is pretty," Hidan sniggered.

"Shut up Hidan, I was just making a point," Kisame grumbled, rolling his eyes.

* * *

"Tohru, what are you doing, hn?" Deidara asked while he peeking over the back of the couch to look at Tohru. She had pulled it out away from the wall and was crawling around behind it.

"Looking for pillow fluff," Tohru said, her voice a little muffled.

"Pillow fluff?"

"Remember those really pretty throw pillows I got that one time?"

"The ones Kisame and Hidan killed hn?"

"Yeah those. Well no matter how thoroughly I clean the living room more fluff always manages to appear. It's really weird so I thought maybe some had fallen behind the couch or something and maybe that's where it's coming from."

"You really that bored hn?"

"Yes," Tohru whimpered, flopping down miserably behind the couch.

"I'll laugh if you get stuck hn."

"I'm not going to get stuck."

"You could hn. So what can I do to make you less bored, so you'll stop this cleaning craze of yours hn."

Tohru groaned but didn't say anything. She had run out of things to clean yesterday which meant that today she was pretty much making up things she could do… Like searching for fluff behind the couch. It really was pathetic, she told herself. Before everything started up with Kakuzu she was more than capable of finding things to keep her occupied but now…

"This is so sad," Tohru mumbled.

"Yes but it's understandable hn."

"Really?" Tohru asked hopefully.

"No Tohru," Deidara laughed. "It's completely incomprehensible that you miss someone you've grown attached to hn. But back to my question, what do you want to do hn?"

"Sasori said he was going to take me to get a bathing suit once he finished something. But that was like…an hour ago."

"An hour?" Deidara gasped. "That's like an _eternity_ hn."

"Har-har-har."

"Why do you need a bathing suit hn?"

"Kakuzu said he was going to take me to an onsen when he got back, and I guess he said something to Sasori about it because Sasori said that the one he was taking me to required a bathing suit in the mixed baths."

"Onsen? Like just for the day hn?"

"No, Kakuzu said it would be for a few days."

"A few days, so you'd be staying with Kakuzu somewhere…other than the base…alone…for a few days hn?"

"I was kinda still half asleep when he told me, but I think so."

"Alone?"

"Yes?"

"Are you going to get separate rooms hn?"

Tohru stiffened, she hadn't thought of that. Would they be staying in separate rooms? Did he expect them to stay in the same room? What exactly was Kakuzu planning?

"Uh…I…I don't know?"

"Heh, maybe he doesn't think he can properly seduce you here, so he's dragging you off somewhere so you two can be _alone_ hn," Deidara laughed.

"W-what!"

"Those aren't his intentions."

Deidara turned quickly to face the doorway of the living room. "Shit…don't _do_ that Sasori hn!"

"Do what?" Sasori snorted.

"Come out of nowhere like that."

"I didn't come out of nowhere, I came from the hallway. Now stop scaring Tohru."

"I wasn't scaring Tohru, I was making an observation hn," Deidara leered.

"Well it was a poor observation."

"What other motivation can a guy have for whisking a girl off for a few days hn?"

"According to him, when he came and asked me where he should take her," Sasori lied. "It was so they could spend some time together without the interruptions that come with staying in the base. I think he wants a chance to have her purely to himself, rather than having her worry about doing things around here or taking care of menial tasks we asks her to do. It must be frustrating for him, to get her alone he has to take her out somewhere but even then they're not truly alone…He said he was looking forward to being able to share her company while enjoying a nice peaceful atmosphere."

"Really?" Tohru's voice squeaked from somewhere behind the couch, Sasori was sure she must be smiling.

"Kakuzu seriously said that hn?" Deidara asked, looking disturbed.

"Perhaps not in those exact words…"

'_Not at all actually.'_

"But yes. Are you ready Tohru?"

A muffled "Yes" was heard as Tohru carefully backed out from behind the couch.

"How long are you two going to be out?" Deidara asked.

"A few hours," Sasori shrugged.

"A few hours just to find a bathing suit?"

"We'll have to find a shop that sells them, Tohru will need to try them on and maybe do a little modeling," Sasori smirked. "So yes, I think few hours is reasonable."

"Model them," Deidara deadpanned before glancing back at Tohru to see if she had any objections to what he had said. She was blushing. Deidara chuckled; the red tint was bleeding from her cheeks all the way down her…

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed. He lunged at Tohru before she knew what was happening and tugged down the neckline of her sweater fully revealing the hickey she had been so desperately trying to hide. While she had been crawling around the back of the couch her sweater had shifted enough down her neck, giving Deidara a small glimpse of her bruised flesh. It was slowly fading but it was still very much there.

"What?" asked Sasori, shooting the two of them a bewildered look. Deidara was blocking his view so he couldn't see what the blond was fussing about.

"Tohru's got a hickey!" Deidara exclaimed in a teasing, almost sing-song sort of way.

"She has a what?"

Tohru pulled Deidara's hand away and tugged her sweater back up to hide the mark as she began sputtering profusely. She couldn't get any coherent words to come out.

"Kakuzu do that or did you lose a fight with the vacuum?"

Tohru stared on, too embarrassed to say anything.

"He didn't take advantage of you did he?" Deidara asked, suddenly getting serious.

"Yes I'm sure Kakuzu has been taking _diabolical_ liberties with Tohru's neck," Sasori said sarcastically.

* * *

"I don't know why you like this movie so much," Itachi said, sitting down on the other side of the couch opposite Kisame.

"It's a classic tragedy," Kisame huffed. "I'm not really into foreign films but…"

"How is this tragedy?" Itachi asked, arching a brow. He would classify it more as a horror film.

"The hero dies a horrible, needless death!" Kisame exclaimed.

"No he doesn't"

"Yes he does, they blow him up!"

"Kisame, the shark isn't the hero," Itachi sighed.

"Yes he is."

Itachi shook his head; there was no point in arguing with him.

"It's quiet."

Kisame glanced to his side, yes it was quiet, thus the reason he sat down to watch his movie. Hopefully Itachi wasn't trying to start a conversation, so it could _remain_ quiet. He usually didn't mind Itachi, the kid hardly ever talked, but it was even rarer that he ever got the chance to take over the living room.

"The only people here are you, me and Zetsu."

"Where did Deidara, Sasori and Tohru go?"

"Out, something about a bathing suit."

"Why would they need a bathing suit?"

"Tohru needs one I guess. I heard them talking about Kakuzu taking her to an onsen. He's getting fucking desperate if you ask me," Kisame snorted.

"Desperate?"

"Yeah, if he's willing to start dealing out cash to win a fucking bet, especially because it's _Kakuzu_, it has to mean he's desperate."

"Bet?"

"Uh…"

Itachi, shifted on the couch to give Kisame a look that very plainly said 'tell me or I'll find some way to _make_ you tell me'.

"We bet Kakuzu that he couldn't make Tohru love him, and say she loves him, within thirty days," Kisame groaned.

"And he agreed?"

"Yeah…you aren't going to say anything, are you?"

"No," Itachi said thoughtfully. "I think this will unravel on its own and anyone involved will pay the consequences."

"What do you mean?"

"Once Tohru catches on she'll undoubtedly also find out who is involved. For you, I think you are going to have to say goodbye to those crab-cakes she makes for you, I doubt she'll bother to wash all of your stuff separately, so no more hypoallergenic detergent…"

"W-what?"

"I don't think she'll feel inclined to cut your hair for you anymore…mend your clothes…rub your back… no matter how much you whine…"

"She…it's Tohru…she's wouldn't…"

"She's a _woman_," Itachi said, standing to leave. "Did you really think you could walk away unscathed after she found out?"

* * *

"How about this one?"

"No," Deidara and Tohru said in unison.

"But it's pretty," Sasori frowned.

"There's nothing to it," Deidara snapped, eyeing the skimpy blue string bikini Sasori was holding.

"I like the pink one with the polka-dots."

"The one with the ruffles?" Deidara asked, turning to look at Tohru.

"M-hm."

"That one was nice," Deidara nodded. "But I still like the blue and silver one."

"You only like that one because it's the only one-piece," Sasori sighed.

"There's nothing wrong with a tasteful one-piece."

"Yes well its cut too high and Tohru really doesn't have the hips for something like that," said Sasori.

"Just wait a few years," he added, seeing Tohru frown. "Then you'll be cursing the fact that you _do_ have hips."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind…so the pink one?"

"Yes…if you think it looks okay."

Deidara thought it was too revealing while Sasori thought it was a bit childish but both nodded anyway.

* * *

Kakuzu smirked as he smoothed his hands down Tohru's arms. She was standing at the sink but hadn't been moving, he assumed she had heard them when he and Hidan had returned to the base and was waiting for him to come to her.

He chuckled slightly when didn't do or say anything.

'_So you're going to ignore me? What game are you trying to play Tohru?'_

He pulled her hair away and lightly brushed his lips against her shoulder…still nothing.

"Tohru?" he asked softly. That should have gotten _some_ sort of response from her. It was then that he felt the slight tremor in her arms.

"I know," she said, her voice a broken whisper. "I know about the bet. Sasori told me."

Panic twisted in Kakuzu's stomach, spreading quickly throughout his body. She knew, no she couldn't know…Sasori wouldn't have told her…_no_.

"But I guess that means you win right?" she laughed bitterly, even though it was obvious she was crying. "They…they weren't supposed to say anything…if they did you would win…right?"

"Tohru…I…"

Kakuzu tugged at her arm, trying to turn her around to look at him.

"No!" she screamed, pulling out of his grasp. Unable to hold them back any longer, painful sobs began echoing from her lips as she sunk to her knees.

This wasn't supposed to happen, he had won the bet yes…but Tohru wasn't supposed to find out. Pain, physical _pain_ shot through him, lacing itself in with the panic.

"Yes, Tohru it was part of a bet," Kakuzu said quickly as he knelt beside her, trying to pull her to him. He needed to hold her, he needed to somehow make this okay again, he couldn't stand the sound of her weeping.

"Stop!" she both screamed and sobbed at the same time, it was a heart-wrenching sound. She moved around, scooting herself back into the corner the cabinets created. Her hair covered her eyes, but in the dim light of the kitchen, when she moved just enough, he could see how red and puffy they were. She had been crying for a while.

He moved towards her but stopped. She began to sob harder, it was heard to tell but he thought he could hear pleading words tangled in there. She was trying to push herself backwards away from him even though she couldn't go back any further. It was like she was scared he was going to hurt her.

'_Can you blame her? I __**did**__ hurt her.'_

"I'm sorry."

It was a lame thing to say, but what else _could_ he say?

"Monster…_monster_!" she cried. "And I was a _fool_ to think you could be _anything_ different."

Kakuzu was jerked awake by the intensity of her words. He blinked warily up at the canopy of trees above him. It was a dream, but the pain wouldn't subside.

"You okay old man?" Hidan asked carefully. He wasn't sure if it was the tension radiating off Kakuzu or if he had actually made a sound but whatever it was, it had pulled him from his own sleep. At first he had been disgusted, thinking Kakuzu was having a dirty dream but when Kakuzu had jumped awake he realized that wasn't it at all.

"We're leaving," Kakuzu said gruffly as he stood.

"Why!"

"If we leave now we'll make it back to headquarters by midmorning."

It was just a dream, it was ridiculous to allow it to get to him like this, but he knew he wouldn't have been able to go back to sleep anyway. He wanted to make _sure_ it was just a dream. He wanted _see_ that Tohru was still blissfully unaware. He _needed_ to know that Sasori hadn't sent him on this mission just to screw him over.

* * *

"How did he die?" Konan asked slowly, looking back and forth between the two immortals standing in her main office.

"Chestnut," Hidan laughed.

"Chestnut," Konan repeated, not sure if he was using some secret term she wasn't aware of.

"Reports are that he choked to death," Kakuzu explained, not fining it quite as amusing as his partner.

"On a chestnut?"

"Yes," the two replied.

"Okay, I'm really not in the mood for this right now. How did he die?" Konan said irritably.

"He choked on a chestnut."

"Seriously, we can't make this shit up," Hidan cackled.

"Chestnut," Konan said under her breath, confusion clearly written on her face as she slumped back in her chair. "Did you confirm this? You two are back kind of early."

"Yes, we confirmed," Kakuzu sighed. "You yourself said this mission could take as little as three days and today would be the fourth."

"Would have taken up longer," Hidan grumbled. "But Kakuzu here couldn't _wait_ to get back so we traveled through most of last night."

Kanan smirked a little when Kakuzu shifted uncomfortably.

"It was a pointless mission, one that I didn't want to waste any more time on," he said defensively.

"Fine, if you two are lying I'll find out eventually just so you know. You can go."

Hidan couldn't seem to get out of the office fast enough, whereas Kakuzu chose to linger. He wanted to ask her about Tohru, but couldn't bring himself to.

"Something else you wanted to say?" Konan asked, unable to stand the long drawn out silence. "Or ask?"

'_Is Tohru okay? Is she acting weird at all? Have you heard her mention anything about a bet? Has Sasori been mind-fucking her? Did she end up going to the onsen with Deidara and the damn puppet?...Now that one seems reasonable…'_

"Did Tohru go with Sasori and Deidara?"

"M-hmm," Konan hummed, it was cruel to do but she wanted to see his face. She bit back a smile and took on a serious tone. "From what I heard it turned out to be very romantic, so much so that Sasori came back early just to give Tohru and Deidara time alone."

"Kidding!" Konan cried quickly when it looked like Kakuzu was about to fly from her office and hunt down Deidara. "They didn't go at all. Though I almost wish they had."

"Why," Kakuzu bit out through clenched teeth. He couldn't believe she had just done that to him.

"I want you to take note of how insanely clean the base is when you get back," Konan laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"She missed you," Kanan said, giving him a soft smile. "So to keep herself occupied, she cleaned the base top to bottom."

She couldn't see his face, so it didn't matter, Kakuzu allowed himself to smile. The way his eye's creased ever so slightly didn't go unnoticed to her though.

"So you're going to take her to Atami?" she asked.

"Where?"

"Atami," Konan said, he obviously didn't know anything about where he was supposed to be taking her, just that he was taking her. She was trying to help the poor guy out. "The only place that isn't just a day onsen, it's located just before you get to the entertainment district; coming from the north…isn't that where you two are going?"

"Uh…yes?"

"Thought so," Konan smiled.

"Thanks Konan," Kakuzu chuckled.

* * *

He was _not_ going to wait in that line of people checking in, checking out, and making reservations. He was tired, he needed a shower, and he wanted nothing more than to get back to the base, but there was no way around it…or was there?

In the large foyer he spotted the concierge desk so he made his way towards it.

"Can I help you sir?" the woman behind the desk asked as he seated himself in one of the fluffy armchairs across from her.

"I want to make a reservation," Kakuzu said firmly.

"Well one of our associates would be happy to help you," she said, motioning to the main desk. Inwardly Kakuzu cursed the fact that he hadn't worn his cloak, he would have had people jumping to attention but he hadn't wanted to cause a scene.

"No, I'm not waiting in that line. Either _you_ are going to help me or you're going to find me someone that can," he said tightly.

"U-uh, okay," the woman said nervously. "Well have you stayed with us before?"

"No."

She nodded and pulled one of the brochures from the display on her desk and unfolded it.

"Will it be just you?" she asked.

"No."

"Um, okay well we're known mainly for our hot-springs but we do offer other attractions for our guests. In the west wing our rooms have a more modern feel, like a resort. The pool and the shared baths are located there as well."

The woman briefly pointed to some of the pictures on the brochure with her pen, then turned it over.

"These are our rates for those rooms. Now if you're looking for something more traditional," she said pulling out a different brochure and opening it. "The east wing might interest you more. The rates are higher, but that's because each room is a suite. On that side we have the single-sex baths. You can also rent private baths by the hour. The east wing is adults only though, so no one under the age of sixteen is allowed. All of our amenities are open to our guests regardless of which side you're staying on, it's just a matter of being closer."

Kakuzu quickly looked over both brochures, the more traditional atmosphere appealed to him but he wasn't sure which Tohru would like.

"Is this a romantic getaway?" the woman asked slowly, hoping she wouldn't offend him.

"You could call it that," Kakuzu grumbled.

"Well, if I may, I would suggest the east wing. It's very popular among couples."

Kakuzu nodded a little and set the brochures down.

"Okay, so when would you like the reservation for?" she asked, dragging the mouse of her computer idly around in small circles as she looked at the screen.

"Anything for tonight?" Kakuzu asked. The woman was polite, efficient, and straight to the point…he liked her.

"Hmm, yes…we do have a room open for tonight. How long do you plan on staying?"

"Two nights, but that could change."

"And it will be just the two of you?"

"Yes."

"I can leave the reservation open, which means that I won't be putting a set number of nights but checkout is at 11 a.m. every morning, so you'll have to check out by that time or you'll pay for an extra night."

Kakuzu nodded.

"We have two onsite restaurants, one casual, and one formal. For the east wing we also offer kaiseki which would be served in your room," the woman smirked a little at Kakuzu. "Very romantic. Would that be something you would be interested in for tonight?"

"Yes it would be," Kakuzu chuckled.

The woman chewed her bottom lip nervously. "I don't mean to sound presumptions, but will you only be needing one futon?"

"Two," Kakuzu smirked. "If I expected her to share one with me I think she would have a heart attack."

"Well we can't have that, now can we?" she giggled. "They're prepared for you at 8 p.m. and put away at 10 a.m. but you can call the front desk if you wish for a different time.

"Also, if it at any point it's decided that you'll only be needing one," she said with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Just let us know."

Kakuzu couldn't help but laugh a little at that.

"What name shall I put the reservation under?"

"Kakuzu."

"Kakuzu…"

"Just Kakuzu."

"Okay," the woman paused, her head tilting to the side curiously. "I know I've heard the name before."

* * *

"She's in the shower hn."

Kakuzu, who had just been about to knock on Tohru's door, let his hand fall back as he looked to the blond who had spoken.

"Just got in so-o-o," Deidara laughed. "It'll be a while hn."

"She does like her showers," Kakuzu chuckled.

"So when are you two heading out?"

"Who told you about that?"

"Sasori."

"Fucking puppet," Kakuzu grumbled. "Sometime today, we're already checked in."

'_Going to somehow fit a nap in before we leave though.' _

Deidara watched as Kakuzu walked past him, down the hall, disappearing into his room. He waited a moment longer before walking down the hall himself, but instead of entering his room he turned right. Sasori, for some reason unknown to him, requested that he ask Kakuzu when he and Tohri were leaving.

"So?" Sasori asked when Deidara appeared in his doorway.

"Sometime today hn."

Sasori frowned, he was sure that Kakuzu would have waited until tomorrow.

'_I guess I can't predict every move.' _

"What are your plans for the next few days?" Sasori asked.

"Same as usual I guess," Deidara shrugged. "There's a new hostess bar I wanted to check out hn."

"Well seeing as you don't have anything _important_ to do," Sasori drawled. "You can accompany me."

"Doing what hn?"

"We're going to Atami."

"Uh-uh!" Deidara exclaimed.

"Why not?"

"I don't have a death wish hn."

"A little relaxation isn't going to kill you Deidara."

"No but Kakuzu will hn."

"No he won't," Sasori smiled eerily. "Even Kisame is considering going, and if he does so will Itachi…"

"You actually conned Kisame into going hn?" Deidara cut in.

"I did no such thing. I simply told him about how nice Atami was, and asked him when the last time he had been able to sit around and soak had been. With how tall he is the bathtubs here are much too small for him."

"Kakuzu isn't going to appreciate being spied on hn."

"I'm not _spying_," Sasori scoffed. "Now go get your cloak, it's getting close to the weekend so I'm sure the rooms are filling up."

"Yes _dear_," Deidara sneered sarcastically.

* * *

Kakuzu ruffled a hand through his dark hair, shaking off some of the excess water still clinging to it. Kyo, who had been having an epic battle with Kakuzu's toes, hopped back a few feet. He wasn't sure if a cat could glare, but if they could that's what the fluff-ball was doing.

Fighting back a yawn, Kakuzu leaned back onto Tohru's bed. It was far too pink for his taste but it was comfortable and it smelled like her so he supposed the color didn't matter too much.

He had once again finished his shower long before Tohru. There was only so much one could _do_ in there, even if she was a girl, it shouldn't take _that_ long. He briefly wondered if she just stood in there…it was a waste of water.

He heard the water shut off then the sound of the door opening a few minutes later.

"Kakuzu!" she shrieked then slammed the door closed again.

"Well that was a warm welcome," he muttered.

"Uh…Kakuzu?" she called out from inside.

"Yeah?" he called back.

"N-not that I-I-I'm not h-happy to see you…b-but can you get out?"

"Why?" he chuckled, sitting up.

"I didn't bring my cloths in with me…"

"Ah."

Rather than comply with her request he stood from her bed and walked over to her closet. He pulled out one of the dresses she had bought the day he and Sasori had taken her shopping but had yet to see her wear yet. It was a white sundress covered in little yellow flowers.

"Here," he said walking to the bathroom door.

"Huh?"

"Just open the door, I'm not looking," he assured her as he turned his head to look away.

He heard the door creak open just barely then felt the dress being pulled from his grasp.

"Um…Kakuzu…It really would work better if…if you just stepped out for a minute."

"Don't like the dress?"

"No…well yes I do…but…I…I…I also didn't bring…uh…can you _please_ get out?"

"No," he laughed. Underwear, she didn't bring underwear, it didn't take a whole lot to figure out that was what she was trying to say.

He pulled the first drawer of her dresser open. That's were girls kept their underwear right? No, it was filled with various hair care products…lotions…ribbons…

He tried the second drawer and found what he was looking for. Just like her closet it was perfectly organized, bra's neatly on one side, panties on the other. Without giving them much thought he grabbed one of each and walked back to the door tapping on it lightly with his knuckle.

Again he looked away and waited for the door to open and for Tohru to take the items.

There was complete silence, then a small giggle which turned into a full giggle, eventually ending with her laughing.

"Um, Kakuzu?" she laughed. "I don't think it would be appropriate to wear red under white."

Tohru smiled a little as she waited there patiently. She looked down at the red bra, and the bright purple underwear he had given her and felt another wave of giggles take over. The male kind really could be oblivious sometimes.

He knocked softly again and she cracked the door open just enough to make sure he wasn't looking before opening the door a little wider so she could grab the white bra and panties he was holding.

She dressed quickly and stepped out of the bathroom. Kakuzu was laying on her bed, with his legs hanging over the side. Kyo was creeping up on him cautiously. Kakuzu chuckled and grabbed the kitten by the scruff of the neck, lifting it up to sit on his chest.

Slowly Tohru padded over to her bed, crawling up to sit beside him.

Kakuzu smiled a little at her as she simply sat there and stared at him. She didn't say she missed him like he thought she would, but the look she gave him said enough. Nothing had changed, she still didn't know. Somewhere in those teal eyes he could still see that heart-breaking trust.

Part of him wanted to tell her, ask her to forgive him but he wouldn't. If he told her it would be like admitting to the others that he didn't think he could win this bet…Also…it would mean that he cared more about her than winning. Something he didn't want to admit to himself at the moment. He knew in the back of his mind that he was lying to himself and nothing good ever came from doing that.

Rather than dwell on it any longer he settled for gently pulling her down to lay beside him. He pushed aside worrisome thoughts and concentrated more on the fact that she hadn't gone rigid in his arms. She was happy to rest her head against his shoulder. Neither said anything but the silence was calming, and welcoming.

The moment was theirs…and Kyo's. The small kitten stretched then yawned before curling up on Kakuzu.

It couldn't have been more perfect.

* * *

Thank you so much for the reviews! I hope you liked the chapter!


	12. Chapter 12: I'm not naked

_**Chapter 12: I'm not naked, I'm wearing an apron. **_

* * *

_Long is the say, take it away  
Hold it up and you don't let it fall  
Cause devils play was yesterday  
And I don't care about that at all_

_I just smile, once in a while  
Because I don't want the lines on my face  
And I sit right here, holding the years  
And I count all the stars in space _

_Self respect, goes unexpressed  
I don't dream because I cannot sleep  
And I think the world of myself  
But the world doesn't think much of me  
And long as the day is full of time, there will always be room  
For your hand in mine_

* * *

"Damn it!" Arisa screamed as tears began streaming down her face. The blood seeping from Kureno's wound had finally stopped but only because so had his heart.

"We need to move," Saki said, holding back tears of her own as she struggled to hold her fallen sensei up. The enemy had been stronger than they had anticipated; they had been taken off guard. "There's still a chance they could be following us."

"They aren't following," Arisa snapped venomously. Their teammate was dead and their sensei was in pretty bad shape as well. "Lay her down."

Saki stood motionless. Neither of them were medics, they needed to get Kyoko back to the village if there was any hope of her surviving.

"Do as she says Saki," Kyoko rasped.

"Sensei…"

"I'm…not going to…make it…back...back to the village…please Saki…"

Saki slowly lowered Kyoko to the forest floor, aided about halfway down by Arisa.

"I'm sorry," Arisa mumbled through her tears as she knelt down beside Kyoko.

"My girls," Kyoko whispered, looking up at the two as they hovered over her.

"Sensei," Saki wept.

"I've not been your sensei for…for a long time Saki…"

"You'll always be our sensei," Arisa said.

"You two have grown up so much since…since you were those awkward little…little twelve year olds…I'm so proud of you…"

"But we couldn't…we didn't…how can you be _proud_ of us?" asked Saki.

"This is the fate of a ninja…this…this isn't…isn't your fault…I want to ask something of you though…"

"Anything," Arisa murmured.

"Don't let them…don't let them tell my little girl…she mustn't know anything…just that I won't…I won't be home…"

"We'll take care of her," Arisa promised, a fresh wave of tears starting up.

"That line is…is still drawn Arisa…leave her be…"

"We can't just… she'll need us!"

"She's almost fifteen…and…and she's been…been taking care of me…she'll be able to…to take care…care of herself."

"But why can't we…"

"Only you would argue with…with your dying sensei Arisa," Kyoko said breathily as she offered a frail bloody smile. "I don't want…want Tohru to go…through…this again…I want her to have a normal life…free…free from the ninja world...she's so gentle…I…I never want that to change…promise me…you won't seek her…her out…and if…you…ever do…come across her…don't tell her…who you…are."

"We promise," Saki sobbed.

'_My little Tohru, I hope that I am making the right decision. Have a normal life my baby…You're strong…I know you'll be okay…Stay away from this world of heartache and death…'_

* * *

"Do they still fit alright?"

Tohru peeked around the refrigerator door to look at Kisame. He was standing there, wearing a pair of dark blue swimming trunks. Tohru blinked a few times, it wasn't the first time she had ever seen him without a shirt, but it was the first time seeing him in shorts. He was very…blue. She wasn't lying the night she said she thought he was handsome, even if she had been a tad bit tipsy, it was just that he was…very very blue. Now here he was wearing the least amount of clothes she had ever seen him in and the one article of clothing he was wearing also happened to be…blue.

What did he just ask her again?

"Tisk tisk Tohru," Kisame laughed. "If Kakuzu saw you checking me out like that he'd have a fit."

"I wasn't…it's just a lot of…er…blue," Tohru said, blushing as she went back to rummaging through the fridge. She felt a sudden chill, at first she thought it might be because of where she was standing but the depressed sounding murmurs told her it wasn't the fridge causing the sudden drop in temperature.

"Ah Kisame?" she asked, peeking back around the door. He was still standing in the same spot with his head drooped.

"N-not that there's anything wrong with blue!" Tohru exclaimed.

"Have you seen fucking Kakuzu!" Hidan snapped, suddenly appearing in kitchen in all his shirtless glory.

"I've seen angry Kakuzu," Kisame said sarcastically, a little miffed that his pity party had been intruded upon. "I've seen fighting Kakuzu, I've even seen a sulking Kakuzu but no Hidan I've never seen Kakuzu doing _that_."

"The fuck are you talking about?" Hidan asked, one side of his face screwing up in confusion.

"You're a moron," Kisame sighed; he thought it was a good joke; it wasn't his fault that Hidan was too stupid to get it.

"_I'm_ a moron?" Hidan countered.

"Glad that you agree," Kisame smiled, walking past Hidan and out of the kitchen.

"Well?" Hidan asked irritably to Tohru, choosing to ignore Kisame for now.

Tohru's brows furrowed, anytime Hidan wanted to know something he had a habit of acting like _you_ were wasting _his_ time. She knew exactly where Kakuzu was but she wasn't going to tell him.

"I'm not sure," she lied with a sweet smile. Currently Kakuzu was sprawled out on her bed asleep. She knew he had to be tired, only about five minutes after pulling her down to lay beside him he had started snoring. It was cute, in a weird sort of way.

"Maybe he went out?" she offered, when Hidan didn't say anything.

"Maybe he went out?" Hidan mocked. "If you're fucking dating him you should know this shit!"

Tohru tried not to giggle; it would only prove to further fluster and already flustered Hidan. She watched as he stormed away and finally let herself giggle softly. _He_ was mad at _her_ because _she_ didn't know where _his_ partner was? Hidan was an odd-ball sometimes, and she was pretty sure he went around looking for things to get angry about. At first he had scared the living daylights out of her, she had never heard someone curse as much as he did but eventually it became normal.

"Ribs, I think ribs would be a good thing to make for tonight," she murmured to herself. "Maybe that will put him in a better mood."

She and Kakuzu wouldn't be there for dinner, he had informed her before passing out that they needed to leave by five at the very latest, but she still wanted to make something for everyone else.

Tohru reached to grab what she needed from the fridge but stopped when a thought suddenly crossed her mind. Why was Kisame bothering with his swimming trunks?"

* * *

"So you won't be here for dinner?"

"Nope hn," Deidara smiled.

"Oh," Tohru frowned. "I'm making way too much food then."

"Between Kisame and Hidan I'm sure they'll happy to gorge themselves more than usual hn," Deidara laughed.

"Kisame and Itachi aren't going to be here either, so unless Konan-sama makes it back early it's just going to be Hidan."

"Don't look so sad about it, Hidan will be just fine on his own hn."

"No one should have to eat alone…And he'll have to re-heat it…If he doesn't do it right the ribs could dry out and…"

"If you bail out on Kakuzu just to babysit Hidan I think he's going to be a tad bit upset hn."

"I wouldn't be bailing out on him completely…just maybe we should stay here for dinner…"

"Ah well what if he had something special planned for dinner hn?"

"But Hidan…"

"Hidan can take care of himself hn," Deidara laughed.

"I guess you're right…"

"So where _is_ lover-boy hn?"

"Hidan!"

"Yes Tohru, Hidan," Deidara said sarcastically. "No, Kakuzu."

"He fell asleep in my room," Tohru said, giving a small giggle.

"Heh, I knew all that talk about stamina was a load of shit hn," Deidara snorted.

"Deidara!" Tohru exclaimed, surprising Deidara. He didn't think she would actually understand what he meant. "N-not because w-we…H-he was just tired!"

"You look and act innocent," Deidara said, narrowing his eyes playfully as he lightly poked her in the middle of her forehead. "But I think you know a lot more than you let on."

Tohru giggled and smiled. Instead of saying anything she tapped her index finger on the tip of her nose a few times and winked.

Deidara smirked, Tohru never ceased to continuously surprise him. She blushed like a madwoman anytime someone said anything perverted…or even remotely sexual, yet she was an avid fan of Icha Icha, a book that could make even _him_ blush. She didn't seem to notice some of their more discreet jokes, but he had to wonder if it was because she really didn't get them or if she did and just didn't say anything.

* * *

"Is it possible to find out where another guest is staying?" Sasori asked to the man behind the desk as Deidara glanced around, paranoid Kakuzu was going to come out of nowhere at any moment and attack them.

"Are you meeting another party here?" the man asked.

"Yes."

"Sasori I don't think it matters hn," Deidara hissed in a low voice. "Let's just get to our room."

"He's overly anxious," Sasori smiled to the man. "It's our first real getaway as a couple."

"What!" Deidara choked out in horror.

"Way more information than I ever wanted to know about you two," Kisame laughed, coming up behind Deidara and Sasori with a less than amused Itachi following him.

"Oh look another happy couple," Sasori said, still sounding very much serious.

"What the fu…hell is wrong with you today!" Deidara yelled. "Just give me my room key hn!"

Sasori nodded, handing Deidara one of the cards he had been given and few minutes earlier. Deidara grabbed it quickly and with one final glare stormed off.

"Anyway, I need to know where two other guests are staying," Sasori said, turning back to the man. "The reservation should be under Kakuzu."

"Does Kakuzu even have a last name?" Kisame muttered to Itachi who shrugged.

"I'm really not supposed to give information on guests," the man said.

"Can you at least tell me if he's staying in the same wing?" Sasori asked.

The man considered the requests for a second and then quickly entered Kakuzu's name into his computer.

"No," he said. "It appears that he and his guest have a suite in the east wing."

A small smirk spread across his face as he scanned over the various notes entered into the reservation. Whoever this Kakuzu was he had made quite an impression on the head manager. She really did like to meddle in new couples lives too much; she said it was good for business if couples "…came in lukewarm in the romance department and left burning with passion…" or something like that.

"Are there any rooms open in the east wing?" Sasori asked, his voice getting a little tight. It would be easier to…he wasn't spying, no…he was…looking out for Tohru and that would be easier to do if they were staying in the same part of the resort.

"I'm afraid not," the man replied. "There aren't many suits in the east wing and they fill up pretty fast."

Sasori glared as he mumbled a "thank you anyway "and turned away to look at Kisame and Itachi.

"Was Tohru and Kakuzu still at the base when you left?" he asked.

"She was packing and I think Kakuzu was still sleeping," replied Kisame.

* * *

Tohru chewed on her bottom lip nervously. It was 4:20; she had finished packing for herself now she just needed to wake Kakuzu up. It should be an easy task, but as she stood over his sleeping form it seemed so much harder. He looked so peaceful laying there; she didn't want to wake him up if he was still tired. If she didn't wake him up though she knew they wouldn't make it out by five.

"Kakuzu?" Tohru whispered, lightly shaking his arm.

Her response was a deep groaned "What?"

"It's 4:20…er 4:21 now."

"Hn," he mumbled, his eyes still closed.

"You said we needed to leave by five."

"Hn."

"Would you like me to pack for you so you can sleep a little more?"

"No," he chuckled cracking his eyes open just enough to look at her. "Might help me wake up though if you gave me that welcome back kiss you had promised me."

"I never promised a welcome back kiss," Tohru giggled.

"I recall that you did."

"When?"

"Before I left," he sighed as he stretched his arms out before folding them behind his head. Konan must be showing favoritism because Tohru's mattress was much more comfortable than his. "But if you want to go back on your promise I guess that's that, even though I _did_ travel all night just so I could get back to get that kiss."

If he wanted a kiss Tohru didn't understand why he didn't just ask, or kiss _her_ even.

'_I think he secretly has a thing for theatrics.'_

She gave him a small smirk and leaned over her bed, bracing her hands on the mattress. As she moved closer to him so that her lips hovered just above his, she noticed the way he stopped breathing. She giggled and quickly placed a small kiss against the corner of his mouth, getting more of his cheek than his lips.

"What was _that_?" he grumbled.

"A kiss," Tohru smiled. He looked a little disappointed, good, after those first few stolen kisses he disserved it.

"That was a poor excuse for a kiss."

"Hm well," she leaned back over him, hovering like she had before. Just as Kakuzu was sure she would close the distance she moved, placing a small kiss on the other corner of his mouth.

"Better?" she asked sweetly. Revenge was sweet. Now if she could just get him back for…

Tohru grinned, something she rarely ever did. The sight unnerved Kakuzu, he himself had never seen her grin, and on her it looked downright evil.

He liked to tease her, and he liked to play his games, but what if the tables were turned? She gathered up her courage and crawled further onto the bed. Kakuzu had to fight the urge to scoot away.

She placed a hand on either side of Kakuzu's chest and began leaning down towards him.

"T-tohru?" Kakuzu asked, only making her grin more. Now who was the bumbling idiot?

She tried recalling what he had done the night they played that game so she could replicate it. Very lightly she brushed her lips against his then moved sideways, following the line his stitches created with small chaste kisses until she reached the base of his jaw.

Kakuzu's mind was numb. This _was_ Tohru right? He swallowed hard, his mouth and throat suddenly going dry, as he felt her lips part against the skin just below his jaw.

"T-tohru?" he tried again, his voice a little strained. "Are you feeling…ah."

He was cut off when she stopped leaving open mouthed kisses about halfway down his neck and suddenly latching onto his skin like she was trying to do her best impression of a leach. Vaguely he became aware of what exactly she was trying to do. Naturally she wasn't very experienced, but _god_…she didn't need to be. Just the simple fact that it was _Tohru_ doing it made him go a little cross-eyed. She pulled back and he heard her give a grunt of displeasure before she moved down a little more and latched on again.

No matter how hard she sucked, and she was doing it pretty damn hard, it wasn't going to do anything. If he was any other man she would have probably done more than just give him a hickey, she would have drawn blood, but with his…unique, body structure it just wasn't possible, hell he didn't even bruise.

He knew he should probably tell her that it was futile but that meant that she would stop and he wasn't ready for her to stop just yet.

Tohru glared at the moist patch of flesh she had been 'working' on…still nothing. She didn't understand, she was positive that she was doing it right but his skin wasn't even red. She knew she should have been a little more embarrassed by what she was doing but any bashfulness was pushed aside by determination.

Kakuzu nearly yelped and jumped out of his skin when Torhu suddenly hoisted one leg over his stomach to straddle him. If anyone happened to walk in at that very moment they would have thought _she_ was taking advantage of _him_. He didn't have much time to think about what she was doing because her lips were against his throat again before he had time to even blink.

He was somewhat thankful she was sitting as high as she was because he doubted she had any idea as to what she was doing to him and if she moved down just a little it would have become very obvious. He fumbled with what to do with his hands; he didn't trust them at the moment. If he touched her that would be the end of it, things would go south very quickly and he knew she wasn't ready for that. Actually if he didn't _say_ something, and quickly, things were sure to head that way anyway.

"Tohru," he rasped as she moved to another spot on his neck. "Not that this isn't uh…fun, but…we're going to be late."

"Why isn't it working!" she exclaimed as she sat up.

"Not sure," he lied with a hoarse chuckle, receiving a small frown in response.

* * *

"Wow, it's really nice!" Tohru said brightly as she stepped out of her shoes.

"M-hm," Kakuzu hummed, doing the same. As nice as the room was, he would still have preferred being back in Tohru's room. He watched as she excitedly scurried around the small sitting room before disappearing into what he assumed was the bedroom. She was back to her oblivious, non-molesting self.

"Wow the bathtub is really big!" he heard her call out.

Kakuzu face-palmed and groaned. Of course it was big; these rooms were designed around couples. He was already sexually charged enough as it was, he really didn't need the mental images of him and Tohru sharing an intimate bath together.

"So is the shower!"

"Oh god," Kakuzu muttered against his hand.

'_It will be a wonder if I don't end up doing something stupid while we're here.'_

"You okay Kuzu-kun?" Tohru asked, peeking out from the bedroom.

"Yeah, did you want to go look around for a bit?" Kakuzu asked as he pulled his hand away from his face. "It will still be a bit before dinner is brought by."

Following Tohru around as she explored would serve two purposes, first he wanted to make sure she would know where she was going if she ever left the room without him and secondly it might help get his mind out of the gutter.

"Hai," Tohru said brightly.

* * *

"You look like you just saw a ghost," Itachi drawled.

"I saw Kakuzu and Tohru," Kisame said in a panicky voice as he pressed his back against the door to their room. "I'm pretty sure Kakuzu saw me."

Itachi arched a brow. Had he really thought that Kakuzu wouldn't notice that they were there? They stuck out like a sore thumb, especially Kisame. Aside from the fact that he was blue and had gills on his cheeks he was also about a half a foot taller than the average male. It was kind of hard to overlook Kisame in a crowd.

"What makes you say that?" Itachi asked. Inwardly he sniggered at the stupidity of the question, but he _had_ to ask.

"I was on my way to the baths and when I entered the lobby he and Tohru had been talking to one of the hostesses. The hostess pointed in the direction I was standing in, I tired moving out of the way but I'm sure he saw me."

Itachi chuckled. He needed to do a little snooping and damage control at some point.

* * *

"That girl…she's familiar," Saki whispered to Arisa as she sorted through all of the different pamphlets she had been handed when they had checked in.

"Which one?" Arisa asked, glancing up.

"The one talking to the hostess with that man covered in the stitches."

"Huh, you're right," Arisa mumbled as she looked Tohru over. "She does look familiar."

"She doesn't just _look_ familiar…her electric signals…they're similar to someone…"

"She doesn't look like a ninja…"

"No… Arisa?...Kyoko's daughter, about how old would she be now?"

"Heh, you don't actually think she could be…"

"That's exactly what I think."

"Well when Kyoko started up as our sensei she said her daughter was one so, she would be about eighteen now…"

"She looks about that same age…"

Arisa took a closer look at Tohru. Kyoko had told them that she didn't like to mix her life as a ninja with her family life, so they had never actually met her family. Kyoko would talk about them occasionally though, and even carried little pictures of them on particularly long missions. The night she had died, Arisa had taken one of those pictures because Kyoko was in it but she had never given too much attention to the young girl in the picture with her.

It was her though. A living piece of Kyoko was standing there only a short distance away. Arisa took a step forward but Saki stopped her before she could take another. "We need to respect Kyoko-sensei's wishes."

"We can still talk to her at least…make sure she's okay…"

"I suppose, but you aren't to tell her about our connection with Kyoko. I wonder…what would Kyoko say about this?"

"About us running into her kid?" Arisa asked, arching a brow.

"No, about that," Saki replied pointing to Tohru just as she reached out and took Kakuzu's hand, slightly pulling him along as she scurried away.

"She's old enough to be dating," Arisa shrugged.

"Yes, but what would Kyoko say if she knew her daughter was dating a member of the Akatsuki."

"He's…but…how do you know?"

"I've come across him once before. He was wearing a mask and cloak at the time…but his signals…they're strange…and not easily forgotten. He's not the only one here either I think. This place is buzzing with energy and chakra…"

* * *

Kakuzu was _sure_ it had been him, because really, how many giant blue man/shark hybrids were there in the world? For the moment though he had ignored his little sighting in favor of letting Tohru drag him around the resort. She had been holding his hand and babbling quite happily and he liked the situation too much to stop her. There would always be time to kill Kisame later.

"Our room _is_ down this hall right?" Tohru asked.

"Yes," Kakuzu chuckled. She was so easily turned around. If he hadn't been with her he was sure she would have become lost while they had been 'exploring'.

"This one," he smiled, as she began walking right past their door only to be stopped short when Kakuzu pulled on her hand a little.

"Oh."

"What did you want to do after dinner?" he asked. He slid his key into the reader, waited for it to beep then opened the door.

"Well I wanted to get everything put away," Tohru said as she followed him into the room. "I don't want to leave my clothes in the bag for too long, they'll get wrinkled."

"I'm sure that won't take too much time," he smirked, reluctantly letting go of her hand so he pull off his sandals. "So what would you like to do after that?"

"I don't know," Tohru giggled as she picked up her bag and headed into the bedroom. "Ask me again after dinner."

"I thought you said you were going to do that _after_ dinner," Kakuzu laughed as she began unzipping her bag.

Tohru blinked a few times, she had just said that hadn't she?

"Um well…I guess since we still have a little time I…thought I would do it now?"

"You're a funny girl Tohru."

"Maybe," Tohru nodded, as she giggled to herself. It had been something Sasori would say.

There was a soft knock at the door. "Probably dinner," Kakuzu said as he padded over to the door and opened it.

"Are you ready for me to set everything up for you sir?" Tohru heard a small voice ask.

Kakuzu nodded and stepped out of the say, allowing a frail looking woman with dark hair to enter the room. Tohru turned her attention back to her bag. If she went into the sitting room she would more than likely end up trying to help the woman and she really wasn't sure if that could be considered improper etiquette.

Tohru pulled out the first article of clothing from her bag, a skirt…or course. She glanced around the room looking for the closet and spotted what she hoped was it. As she pulled back the sliding door though she realized that it indeed was not the closet, well it was but not one meant for hanging clothes. It was the oshiire closet.

She frowned a little at what she saw, or lack of what she saw, as it was. There was only one futon, granted it was a large futon…but still…there was just one. She had gotten over the idea of sharing a room with Kakuzu, but it was a bit more difficult to wrap her mind around the idea of sharing a bed. Her brows furrowed in thought as her head cocked to one side.

'_Kakuzu wouldn't ever ask me to do something I don't want to do…or am not sure I want to do,'_ Tohru told herself. Kakuzu had been the star of some of her fantasies as of late, especially since she had started reading the newest Icha Icha book again, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for any of them to _actually_ be carried out.

'_And you call __**me**__ a pervert,' _Sasori's voice sniggered somewhere in the back of her mind.

'_It does not make me a pervert,' _Tohru argued with the phantom voice, even though it was pointless.

'_Denial.'_

'_It's a healthy habit for someone my age.'_

'_Yes, but it's not healthy to fantasize about a real person.'_

'_Hn…I think it's even more unhealthy when you're conscience takes on the voice of a real person…I really shouldn't be arguing with myself.'_

Too much time with Sasori, she was spending _way_ too much time with Sasori. It was sad when you could carry out a conversation with someone when they weren't even there. It was like everything that was Sasori had been permanently engraved on her brain.

"Tohru?"

Tohru squeaked and quickly pulled the closet door shut, smashing her thumb in the process.

"Ow," she whimpered.

"Are you okay?" Kakuzu asked in concern, she had closed the door on her thumb pretty hard.

"Hai!" she said brightly but painfully.

'_Kakuzu isn't a mind reader, there is no way he could know about what you had been thinking… but he is a ninja… can ninja read minds?...no…maybe…'_

"Can ninja read minds?" she asked suddenly.

"What?" he chuckled as he took her hand so he could look at her thumb.

"Can they?"

"Yes…well, not like I'm sure you're thinking. Some can get into other people's heads for interrogation purposes…why?"

"No reason."

"Worried I might be able to read you're dirty thoughts Tohru?" he laughed teasingly.

Tohru quickly went scarlet.

Kakuzu's face went lax with surprise. That really _was_ what she was worried about.

"No!" Tohru exclaimed, if possible getting even more flushed.

"It was a joke Tohru," Kakuzu smiled. If he teased her anymore on the subject he was worried she'd pass out.

* * *

Sasori was gone…Deidara was gone…Kisame…Itachi…Tohru…Kakuzu…gone. So unless Zetsu suddenly decided that he wasn't going to be a creep who only left his room to eat dinner when he hadn't eaten _someone_ recently, Hidan was alone. He knew better than to enter any of the other member's rooms, but Tohru's…now that was a different story.

She really didn't have anything _that_ juicy but he was quite enjoying himself while going through her panty drawer. There was nothing that really topped that piece of lingerie he had swiped from her that one night though, so eventually he got bored and moved on to her closet. He found Icha Icha Embrace and opened it only to quickly close it again. If any of those items in that box had touched Kakuzu in any way, shape, or form he didn't want to be anywhere near them.

"Fuck she's a dull girl," he complained, putting the box back where he had found it.

_Mew_

Hidan spun around quickly. Had her pillow just 'mewed' at him?

_Mew_

Yes, it would appear that it had. He cautiously pulled back the mewing pillow to reveal two things; one, the fluffy orange kitten that he had seen that one night but hadn't seen since and two, Kakuzu in plushy form.

"Fucking weird," he snorted.

"And you," he said picking up the ball of fluff. "Are coming with me."

* * *

The base was much too quiet for Konan's liking. Even if Kakuzu and Tohru weren't there, there should have been some sort of noise…but there was nothing.

She told herself that if something had happened Pain would have known about it but even so she was cautious as she made her way further into the base. The living room light was on, as was the TV but no one was there. Even the hallways lights were on, no one ever usually turned them on for fear of Kakuzu having a fit.

There was a faint clanking of what sounded like a pan, and the low murmur of a voice.

"Hello?" Konan called out. She jumped a little when a moment later Hidan's head popped out from the kitchen.

"Oh," he said, and then disappeared again.

"Where is everyone?" Konan asked, following the hall into the kitchen. She stopped dead in her tracks at what she found there.

"H-hidan?" she gaped. "Why the hell are you _naked_!"

"I'm not naked," he sneered, motioning to the yellow apron he wore, Tohru's apron. He rolled his eyes and turned back to stare at the wok sitting on the stove.

Okay, so he wasn't completely naked but the apron only made it worse.

"Right," Konan said slowly as she tried to think of another way to rephrase the question. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?"

"No one was here," Hidan shrugged, not turning to look at her. "Figured why the fuck not."

"And why the apron?"

"I was getting splattered," he said as if it should be obvious.

_Mew_

Konan glanced to the kitten sitting on the counter.

"Is that Kyo?" she asked, Tohru had told her about the kitten but she had yet to see it for herself.

"His name is _Jashin_," Hidan corrected.

"That is Tohru's kitten right?" Konan asked.

"…Yes."

"She said its name is Kyo."

"I don't give a damn about what _she_ calls him, _I'm_ calling him Jashin."

'_He really is insane…but then again if sanity was a requirement for joining our organization we would lose half…no…all of our members.'_

"What are you making?"

"I'm reheating the ribs Tohru made earlier."

"In a wok!"

"How else are you supposed to do it!" Hidan snapped.

"Where is everyone?" Konan sighed; she wasn't going to argue with him.

"That fucking tourist trap piece of shit resort."

"Everyone?"

"Aside from me and Zetsu, yes."

"Why didn't you go?"

"A proper ninja wouldn't be caught dead in a place like that!"

Konan nodded a little in understanding. Hidan's biggest pet peeve…going to hot springs…

"Well you two have fun," Konan laughed, turning to leave. She wasn't attracted to Hidan in any way but even so it was hard not to stare at his ass and she wasn't sure how much more of it she could take.

* * *

_**AN:**_ Arisa and Saki. Because they had such a close connection to Tohru in Fruits Basket I wanted them to have a bigger part than some of the other characters have had so far. They WILL be showing up again.

Thank you all again for the reviews!

BTW *Points to avatar* Kakuzu plushy and Tohru...made it while I should have been writing...kinda crappy...sorry


	13. Chapter 13: First

_**Chapter 13: First.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**We're both looking for something,  
We've been afraid to find,  
It's easier to be broken,  
It's easier to hide. **_

_**Looking at you, holding my breath,  
For once in my life I'm scared to death.  
I'm taking chances, letting you inside. **_

_**I'm feeling alive all over again.  
As deep as the sky under my skin.  
Like being in love, she said, for the first time. **_

_**-First Time by Lifehouse. **_

_**

* * *

**_

It was an undeniably warm feeling that sunk deep into his chest. He would have ignored it if he could have but he couldn't. It was there and it wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He knew it was too late; the damage had already been done. There would be no going back; there was no way to stop what _he_ had started. Though he supposed it wasn't so bad, not as bad as he thought it would be.

But there was still the question of _how_ this had happened. It had come out of the blue, no warning, no precursory feelings, nothing…It hit him out of nowhere leaving him rather bewildered. He decided that it could possibly be one of the rudest feelings, one that came in and began reordering your brain, tearing at your heart and values, all without asking permission. _Rude_.

She wasn't much; she was clumsy and more than a little spacey. Sometimes she made absolutely no sense at all. She talked more in a single day than some people talked in a week.

The girl walked into walls for god sake! Walls, completely stationary, always there, walls!

You had to be somewhat insane to be able to follow her train of thought in conversation. Once she began babbling there was no stopping her. Like now, she was doing it right this very moment. Babbling.

After they had finished dinner and everything had been taken away she had sat down beside him on the floor. The discussion had originally been about what she would like to do but then it had somehow turned into her musings on whether or not cats knew how to swim naturally like dogs did, then it became a story that was passed down from her mother about her grandmother's dog who only had three legs…

He had stopped listening for the most part about mid-way through the story about the three legged dog. Honestly he didn't have the slightest idea of what she was talking about now. At some point she had laid down on the floor, propping her head up on his thigh. That he didn't mind so much

"_Do_ you think he has to brush the teeth in his hands?" she asked.

"Huh?" he asked dumbly, looking down at her.

"Deidara, do you think he has to…"

"I really don't know," Kakuzu chuckled. So the subject was now on Deidara?

She was so bizarre. So _why_?

The only other _relationship_ he had ever been in had been over sixty years ago. But even that had just been out of necessity. It wasn't exactly arranged but he hadn't particularly liked her and she hadn't really liked him, the fact was that he was a powerful shinobi and she was a relatively powerful kunoichi, if they had ever had children…

Not that any of that really mattered anymore, she had been one of the many that thought it would have been better to not return to his village rather than return to his village a failure.

Tohru though, he knew she would rather have him return a failure than not return at all.

"Get it off!" Tohru screamed, startling Kakuzu. He watched as she somehow jumped up, quicker than even his eyes could follow, and then levitated herself to the low table in the middle of the room. He was pretty sure she had just walked on air.

"What was it!" she shrieked, doing a weird little jig on the table.

"What was what?" he asked, trying not to laugh. She looked ridiculous standing up there like that.

"Something _crawled_ on me!"

Tohru, still not wanting to get off the table, knelt down and stared intently at where she had been laying.

Kakuzu at the same moment sat up enough to look around. The only thing he found was a dark piece of semi-wadded up string. "Is this it?" he laughed, picking it up and showing it to her.

"No, I felt it, it was…it was crawly…it had legs."

"Tohru, there's nothing here," he said motioning to the floor to prove his point.

"But I _felt_ it!"

"Well I don't _see_ it."

"Maybe whatever it was it crawled away."

"I think it was just this string, you got startled and you're imagination…"

"No," she cut in pointedly. "I could feel its little legs."

Both of her hand came out in front of her, her thin fingers imitating a 'crawly' motion.

He chuckled and stood, walking over to help Tohru off the table. "If it comes back I promise I will save you from whatever it was."

He smiled down at her still panicked face and then his eyes caught sight of something small and black barely clinging to her hair. A spider. He knew if he said anything she would just go ballistic again. Discreetly he reached up and in one fluid motion pinched the offending arachnid between his thumb and forefinger, pulling it from her hair.

"Okay maybe there had been something," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"Spider," he said simply as he held up his hand.

"I told you!"

* * *

He wasn't sure if he had ever seen someone get so happy over futons before. She had looked absolutely ecstatic when they had been brought to their room. There had been a mix-up about how many they needed, so only one had been…left in the room…

Kakuzu's mind wandered back, replaying the moment when Tohru had smashed her thumb. Only one had been in the closet. That must have been why…

Kakuzu laughed from his position lying atop his own, very separate futon. "Would it really be _that_ terrible to sleep in the same bed as me Tohru?"

"Huh?" Tohru asked, looking up from her book. The laugh had been random but she spent a lot of time with Deidara and because he often did the same thing it was easily ignored, but his question…now that really was random.

"When you closed the closet door on your thumb, that's what had you so flustered, because there had only been one futon," he stated rather than asked.

"It was…an uncomfortably notion to think…well…that you expected me…to…er…"

"Sleep with me?"

"Yes."

"Says the girl who was taking _advantage_ of _me_ earlier today," Kakuzu chuckled as he rolled over onto his side to look at her. After the whole spider incident and the futons being set up it had been decided that it was too late to really do anything so Tohru had started reading. Reading meant that she wasn't talking to him and he didn't like it. So he was going to pester her into talking to him.

"I was not!" Tohru exclaimed, setting her book down completely.

"I think by anyone's definition you were," he smirked. Mission accomplished, she had put the book down.

"I was getting revenge for this," she said pointing to the barely there bruise on her neck.

"Oh is that what you were trying to do?" he asked in mock understanding. He had known exactly what he had been trying to do, but it was more fun pretending that he hadn't.

Tohru nodded, her cheeks beginning to tinge red.

"Well then that's a shame for two reasons."

"Why?

"First, because I thought you had been doing it simply because you wanted to do it and secondly because you had been wasting your time."

"Wasting my time?"

"M-hmm, no matter how long you tried you would have never succeeded. Though I wouldn't mind if you wanted to try proving me wrong," he grinned.

Tohru was flabbergasted. So she had done all of that for nothing? It had been pointless? And was Kakuzu really openly inviting her to do it again?

She was unsure of what to say to that, so she didn't say anything at all, instead she picked her book back up and flipped to the page she had been reading. When in doubt it was better to just ignore.

Why! Why did she never do what she was supposed to do? She was supposed to get flustered, or if he was lucky take him up on his offer. Not just go back to reading as if nothing had been said. The girl was _infuriating_. And _damn it_, he was not going to spend the remainder of the evening watching her read!

Tohru ignored the sigh of annoyance and the grumble of displeasure. She even managed to ignore the fact that he was moving, sitting up, and slinking his way towards her like some perturbed cat. She ignored the way he hovered over her as she lay there on her stomach reading. Then he reached out and plucked her book from her grasp, she couldn't really ignore _that_ now could she?

She wasn't going to look up, she wouldn't. That's what he wanted, he wanted her attention. For some reason, unknown even to her, she wanted to see what he would do to _get_ that attention. A slow tension built up in her body, she knew what it was, of course she knew what it was. She was not stupid, and she was not naïve…she wanted him. Perhaps not completely, not yet, but for this moment…

She wanted to know what it felt like to be held, she wanted to know what it felt like to move beyond chaste kisses, she wanted to know what it felt like to be…desired.

But she knew her own limits, what she was comfortable with and she knew…so did he. She trusted him not to go any further than what she wanted. She _trusted_ him, trust…

The realization that she trusted him so completely only proved to amplify the intensity of what she was feeling.

There was a thickness in the air, she didn't move and neither did he. Everything around them was stripped away, leaving only a silent understanding. She could feel him staring at her and wondered what he was thinking right then.

Time crawled on.

Anticipation was killing her. Why wasn't he _doing_ anything?

* * *

"They haven't left their room," Sasori stated in an annoyed tone as he closed to door to the room.

"How would you know hn?" Deidara asked from under the fluffy towel sitting on his head. "Don't tell me you've been camped out in front of their room."

"I still don't know where there room is!"

Deidara peeked out from under the towel, pausing in drying his hair. So did that mean if he did know where their room was he _would_ have been camped outside of it?

"Uh, so how do you know they haven't left hn?"

"I have been everywhere and I haven't seen them once."

"Maybe you just kept missing them hn?"

"Kakuzu isn't someone who is easily missed."

"Why do you have such a weird obsession with their little relationship hn?" Deidara asked, pulling the towel off his head.

"It's not an obsession; it's my project so of course I have an interest in it."

"Project hn?"

"Yes, I was the one that got them together so it's my project."

Sasori quickly ran over how much he was willing to tell Deidara. On one hand if he told him everything there was a possibility that he would go rat them out to Tohru but if he was smart about what he told the blonde and _how_ he told him…

It was also possible that Deidara would become an unknowing pawn in his game. Tohru would believe anything and everything Sasori told her, but Kakuzu was getting suspicious and he suspected that he was going to start blocking him at every angle. If he added Deidara to the mix though Kakuzu would have no idea. He could work through Deidara without the old man ever suspecting anything.

"How did _you_ get them together hn?" Deidara snorted. Sasori could be weird sometimes; he liked taking credit for things Deidara was sure he had no part in.

"I bet Kakuzu he couldn't make Tohru fall in love with him in thirty days."

As expected, Deidara went completely still. He looked shocked at first but that look melted away into…

Well he look pissed, there was no other way to describe it.

"You what?" he hissed. "Why the fuck would you do something like that!"

Deidara stood from his bed and began looking around wildly.

"What are you doing?" Sasori drawled.

"Looking for my shirt," Deidara snapped. "And then I'm going to go find Tohru."

"You don't want to do that."

"Oh I'm sure I do. I'm not going to let her be played with like that hn!"

Sasori chuckled and sat down on his bed. Deidara hadn't tried running out of the room, so although it wasn't the ideal reaction it still hadn't become the worst case scenario.

"Kakuzu if falling for her," Sasori stated once Deidara had found his shirt.

"What?" Deidara asked with his head and only one arm through the shirt.

"I said Kakuzu is falling for her, and that's why you don't want to tell Tohru."

"So he has feeling for her… it doesn't make it…"

"I know," Sasori cut him off. "The circumstances aren't ideal but before you say anything to her…Watch them or more importantly watch him."

"If he loved he would tell her himself hn."

"Kakuzu's first love is still money, that hasn't changed but that's not to say that it couldn't change. But if you say anything it couldn't ruin the opportunity for it to change."

Sasori inwardly grinned. Damn he was good.

"Why Kakuzu hn?" Deidara asked, he still looked suspicious but it didn't seem as though he was going to run off and find Tohru at any moment.

"What is Kakuzu?"

"Old," Deidara snorted.

Sasori sighed; one just _had_ to love the younger generation.

"Why didn't you want Tohru?"

"What does that have to do with anything hn?"

"Just answer the question."

"At the moment I just wouldn't work hn," Deidara shrugged.

"Why?"

"I don't want something…so concrete. But that's something she would want and need."

"So you're saying she needs someone stable?"

"I guess hn."

"Mature?"

"Hey I'm mature hn!"

"Deidara…"

"Yeah yeah, I know what you're getting at hn."

"Just watch them before you say anything."

* * *

It was an undeniably inky feeling that sunk deep into her the pit of her stomach. Pretty words and phrases torn from her books danced around her mind.

_Blossoming heat…_

That one stood out the most, it was wrong. All of them were wrong. No wonder Kakuzu had laughed at her ill perceived vision of intimacy.

Aside from nudging her over to lie on her back he hadn't even really _done_ anything. He was just _looking_ at her.

This was such a different feeling than the ones she got from reading her books. They were similar, maybe…but so different.

It was like that that dark bubbling ink somewhere locked inside her very core was breaking free. It reached out, _tangible dark threads_- lacing themselves around her heart, her stomach…further down…

They wove themselves just under her skin, taking her over inch by inch.

_Cold_

Or perhaps so hot that it only felt cold. Was she burning alive without even realizing it?

It was an uncomfortable feeling, it made her bones ache, her skin prickle almost painfully, it made her chest feel constricted, and her brain foggy.

How could you _feel_ so much without even being _touched_?

The air hummed; a dull buzzing sound but even above that she could hear the rush of blood pumping through her ears. A chaotic rhythm, lulling, maddening…

And then he was moving. His hand came up to trace the line sloping down from her neck to her shoulder. Each of those tendrils throughout her body tightened, constricted, all straining to move under his fingertips.

Kakuzu smirked down at her. He was very sure he could keep himself in check, he wasn't some hormonal teenager after all but he wasn't so sure about her. She was laying there almost panting and all from just a steady gaze and a light touch.

Well he supposed he had her attention now, he was content. He chuckled a little and stood up, watching for a moment as she gaped up at him, confusions, frustration, annoyance…so many emotions.

"It's not polite to ignore people Tohru," he said casually.

"Where are you going!" she squawked as he walked out of the room.

"To find Kisame," he called out.

"Kisame?"

* * *

"Splash around too much and they'll kick you out," Kakuzu said, standing over the faux hot spring. He hadn't even said anything but the moment Kisame had seen him walk in he had tried bolting. Somehow Kisame had slipped, fallen, tried getting up and then started all over again. He was completely naked so Kakuzu wasn't sure what exactly he planned on doing once he finally did get out. He laughed at the idea of a very nude Kisame running down the halls of the resort.

Fellow Akatsuki or not, Kisame _knew_ that if you pissed Kakuzu off enough you were dead, thus the reason for his current panicked state. Lucky no one was in there with them because his modesty towel had disappeared somewhere.

"Look," Kisame said, trying to sound reasonable. "I only came because Sasori said he and Deidara were coming…"

"Sasori is here?" Kakuzu growled. For fuck sake, where they _not_ allowed to be alone for a few days?

"Just remember that killing anyone would be counterintuitive to our ultimate goal," Itashi said as he stepped out of the changing room with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"The stupid puppet has limited uses," Kakuzu grumbled.

"Just ignore him," Itachi sighed.

Kisame, a little less fearful for his life, sunk back into the water.

"What's Tohru up to?" he asked, changing the subject seemed like a good idea.

"Either still having a conniption or reading."

"Why what did you do?" Itashi asked, arching a brow.

"She thought I was going to do something and just to aggravate her I didn't," Kakuzu grinned.

"What didn't you…"

"I don't think we really want to know," Itachi droned, cutting Kisame off. "Anyway, wouldn't it be better with Kisame and Sasori here?"

"No," Kakuzu grumbled. "Why would it be?"

"If I correctly understand the terms of this little bet that you all have going," said Itachi as he stepped into the water. "Someone who is involved in the bet needs to _hear_ Tohru say she loves you. So logically you would want someone here just in case she does start saying it, right? It would save you time and trouble."

"That could easily wait until we got back _if_ she did," Kakuzu glared. The less people that knew about the bet, the better, it should have been limited to only the people involved.

"But why would you want to continue wasting your time with her?" Itachi smirked. "Unless…you intend on continuing with this relationship even after the bet is either won or lost."

"Seriously?" Kisame asked, giving Kakuzu a confused look.

* * *

Tohru started up at the ceiling. The lights weren't exactly even she concluded, one was off by just a smidge. She hadn't moved since Kakuzu had gone off to find Kisame. She was too baffled to move. One minute he was looking down at her in way that no man had ever done before and the next minute he was gone. Just _poof_…gone.

She knew she couldn't have said anything to upset him, she hadn't said anything at all. There was nothing she could have done either because she hadn't _done_ anything.

So, she decided, that meant that he had left just to annoy her.

She wasn't exactly annoyed though. She felt a little let down and also a little relieved. Let down because he had stopped before anything happened and relieved for the same reason. The feelings he had invoked had been strong and afterwards…intimidating. She had never considered herself the type of girl to suddenly go wanton over a man yet somehow with just a look he had stripped her of any morals.

It was often said that sex did not equal love and she believed that to be true. The phrase was often given as a deterrent to sex, but saw it as a two-way street, if sex did not equal love then love also did not equal sex. The two were completely separate and there could always be one without the other.

She didn't think it was something that should be shared with just anyone though. It was an expression and should only be used under the right circumstances. Just as one does not go up to a complete stranger and kiss them, one shouldn't have sex with someone they don't share deep feelings for.

The problem was though, that she still wasn't completely sure where she stood with her feelings for Kakuzu. She cared for him, she enjoyed being around him, she worried about him and missed him when he wasn't there but didn't she experience those same feelings with Sasori and Deidara?

Yet if either of them had been in his place she doubt the reaction would be the same.

But _why_?

Men were supposed to be the perverts right? They were the ones that were supposed to have less than admirable intentions. So how was it that the roles were reversed? She had been the one who would have thrown caution to the wind and Kakuzu had kept a level head.

She couldn't even really say that she felt ashamed of how she had reacted. Her thoughts, the sensations, the desire; they had snuck up on her. All because of a look.

It was ridiculous. It hadn't started that way. A kiss, a touch, something deeper than what they had already crossed into, that's all she had initially wanted. Not…

How had her mind and body spiraled out of control like that?

She wanted to talk to Sasori, but unfortunately she knew she would have to wait for that. She knew her dependence on Sasori's advice and guidance was a bit pathetic but who else was she supposed to talk to? Especially about something like this.

Deidara, he would say that there was nothing sacred in this world, other than art, so go for it.

Kisame, he would laugh and never let her live it down.

Itachi…Itachi would more than likely tell her to go away.

Zetsu…

Tohru shuddered; she didn't want to think about what he might say.

Hidan…Hidan would be a combination of Kisame and Itachi. He would laugh and then tell her to fuck off.

Konan, she would refer her to another book or tell her to read the ones she already had. That would do her no good because as she was learning Icha Icha wasn't very accurate.

Kakuzu…

Tohru giggled a little. Oh he might be able to give her advice but that would be one weird conversation.

That left Sasori or…or _him_. Even if he couldn't hear her…or maybe he could. Even if she never got a response there was always one other that she would occasionally talk to.

Tohru stood up from her futon and walked out of the bedroom. She could hear the rain coming down relentlessly outside the shoji screens that led to their small covered deck. It was such a constant sound that one sometimes didn't notice it unless they consciously decided to. She slid the screen open and smiled out at the waterlogged rock garden.

As she sat down at the edge of the deck, allowing her feet to dangle over the side, she let her mind wander to the night she had fist met Konan.

'_Now if he could only stop the rain.'_

She hadn't known at the time but he was in the rain. Konan had once tried explaining it, but she still didn't completely understand. Tohru stretched out her hand out into the rain.

_Pain-sama…_

Aside from brief occasional glimpses she had never actually seen him, talked to him, yet she felt like she knew him. He was there, always there, always watching over them. After learning that, she had appreciated the rain much more than she once had.

A soft giggle followed by a low rolling laugh filled the garden. Through the rain, far across the way she could see two figures sitting out on their own deck. It was hard to see them clearly but she could tell that they were holding each other.

'_What makes you love each other?' _

The two were obviously very much in love, but why were they in love? What difference was there in friendship and love? How did they know they were in love?

She didn't' believe that there was something like love at first sight, but when did you know you were in love? Was it something that rushes in on you all at once or was it something that slowly seeped into your being.

Maybe…maybe it was something that was placed in two hearts the moment they touch and one had to chip away at everything else to fully reveal it. Perhaps that's why it was different for each individual; each person either had more or less to chip away at. Was that really it?

Or maybe the other person chips away at it for you and you for them.

"So many maybes," Tohru giggled to no one, or what she thought was no one.

"People might think you're crazy if you talk to yourself like that. I know I did," Kakuzu chuckled as he closed the distance between them. He carefully sat down behind her with his legs on either side of her.

"Who says I'm talking to no one," Tohru smiled, leaning back against him. "Maybe I was talking to the rain."

"Ah, well what did the rain have to say?"

"It agreed that it was mean of you to leave like that."

"It's not like we were in the middle of anything important," he teased.

Tohru craned her head back to glare at him. "So did you find Kisame?" Tohru asked sarcastically.

"Yes, he was in the middle of a bath actually, so I ended up seeing more of him than I ever care to again."

"Kisame is actually here?" Tohru asked in confusion.

"Kisame, Itachi, Deidara and Sasori all decided that they were in need or a getaway as well," Kakuzu grumbled.

"You don't sound too happy about that," Tohru giggled.

"I'm not."

"It won't be so bad."

"No," he smirked wrapping his arms around her. "All I need to do is keep you in the room and everything will be fine."

"I'm not staying in the room the whole time."

"Why not?"

Tohru moved around so that she was kneeling between his legs facing him. "I want to know what it's like to go swimming, so at the very least I want to go to the pool."

"You said the bathtub was really big so why not go swimming in there?"

"I'm not swimming in the bathtub," Tohru giggled. "Even if I have to sneak out before you wake up in the morning I'm going to the pool."

"You really think you could sneak out without me noticing?"

"I packed without waking you up didn't I?"

"How do you know you didn't?"

"Because you were snoring."

"I don't snore."

"Yes you do."

"So what maybes were you talking about?" he asked, changing the subject.

Tohru only smiled.

"If you can talk to something as silly as the rain you can talk to me."

"What if it involves you?" Tohru countered. Her heart fluttered a little. Sasori had told her not to discuss her feeling with Kakuzu but everything inside her was screaming to do the opposite.

"Then pretend I'm not me."

Tohru took a deep breath and focused on a spot just to the left of his face. It was a tactic to qualm her nervousness, look just past someone's face so you didn't have to look directly at them but it would still seem like you were.

"How do you know when you're in love?" she asked.

Kakuzu's breath became caught in his throat.

"It seems like all the same feelings you get out of friendship are there, but it's different somehow isn't it?" she continued.

"I don't know," he said softly. Would she say it? His heart raced wildly at the thought. The bet aside…oh, how desperately he wanted her to. But here were still so many questions in her eyes, so he knew she wasn't sure. She had been thinking about it though, so that was something. It wasn't nearly enough, but it would be enough for now.

Tohru gave a small light laugh and shook her head, her eyes drifting downwards. "You don't know, and I don't know…We'll make a very oblivious pair."

Kakuzu sat there very still. Whatever the rain had said to her…

He didn't want to move, he didn't want to breathe, he didn't want to risk breaking Tohru from whatever spell she was under. She was talking to him so openly, so honestly.

He wasn't saying anything. Had Sasori been right, had she just succeeded in scaring him off?

"I'm sorry," she said quickly, still looking down.

"What do you have to be sorry about?" he laughed as he caught her chin in his hand, forcing her to look up at him.

"I just thought…well Sasori said…I shouldn't….um…" she babbled.

Sasori, that stupid puppet. Kakuzu was going to dismantle him and bury the pieces so far apart that he would never be put back together again. "What stupid advice has he given you now?"

"He said that I shouldn't tell you…how I feel…someone like you…you wouldn't want to know…"

"Do me a favor and don't listen to Sasori anymore," Kakuzu said, trying to keep the anger from his voice.

"But…"

"Just don't."

Tohru nodded a little.

"And don't ever purposely keep something from me…anything…I _want_ to know."

"Hai…"

"So can I have that welcome back kiss now?" he asked, already leaning down to capture her lips with his own. He brought his arms around her trying to pull her closer but with the way she was kneeling it only proved to make their position strained. Without stopping the slow massaging motion of his lips against hers he moved, nudging one of her legs to move and then the other so that she was straddling his legs rather than kneeling between him.

He smiled a little into their kiss in satisfaction as he pulled her to him again, this time he was able to mold her against him completely. Now he just needed to…

One arm unwrapped itself from her so he could lift his hand up to tangle in her hair, gently prompting her to tilt her head just a little. It was better, but still not enough. Just barely he began parting her lips with his own, trying to deepen the kiss. It worked. Her lips parted hesitantly for him.

The sound of the rain, the chill in the air, the soft murmurs of someone talking in the distance, it all faded away. The world stopped for them or at least it felt that way. He could have live in that moment forever. He knew that he couldn't, so he wrapped it up and stored it away so that no matter what happened, he would always have it. It was his and right now _she_ was his.

The kiss was slow and unsteady but he was okay with that. It was just a testimony to the fact that he was the first to ever hold her like this, kiss her like this, he was the first. The notion brought with it an overwhelming feeling of possessiveness. If the cards were played in his favor he knew he could end up not being just a first in so many experiences but the only as well. Forever he could have something that no other man in the world could ever hope to possess.

His hands trembled with the reality of it all, at the reality of _her_.

His hand dropped away from her hair smoothing down her back, over her hip, down her thigh and back up again, like he was confirming that she really was there. He had touched her before but never just for the sake of touching. Both hands began wandering; exploring, memorizing and slowly she began to do the same.

It was nothing that could be deemed sexual, nothing beyond savoring the feel of another person being so wonderfully close.

What she had felt earlier had been lust. Now there was a flutter, a contracting of the heart, something that didn't make your body ache, but your soul.

Was this feeling it?

Was this the line drawn between friendship and love?

This small unassuming feeling, so meek and mild in comparison to the dark weighted feeling of lust…

Was this it?

_Yes_

She could have wept in revelation.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to swim?" Tohru asked for the millionth time as she pulled off her robe, laying it neatly over a chair.

Yes, Kakuzu was very sure he didn't want to go swimming. He and water just didn't mix but he would stick around while she went swimming.

"I'm sure," he chuckled, looking her over. Somehow she had managed to look both adorable and alluring at the same time. Alluring because there was plenty of skin exposed for his viewing pleasure and adorable because even at her age she was still willing to wear something involving ruffles.

Tohru glanced at the pool with trepidation. She knew if she stayed in the shallow end she would be fine but it was always frightening to do something new.

"Okay, do you think it'll be co…"

Kakuzu blinked. Tohru had been in the middle of a sentence and then…there had been a blur of blonde hair, a startled squeak and then she was no long standing in front of him.

A loud splash called his attention to the pool.

Deidara was the first to surface from the deep water but was quickly pulled under by a sputtering Tohru as she tried using him as a flotation device.

"Moron," Kakuzu grumbled as he knelt down beside the edge of the pool, extending his arm to offer her a hand. She continued to flounder around a little longer before finally reaching out and taking it.

"Trying to drown me Tohru?" Deidara gasped as he resurfaced.

"She can't swim you idiot," Kakuzu bit out sharply. He pulled her to the edge of the pool allowing her to cling to the edge. He couldn't help but inwardly chuckle a little; she looked a little like a drowned cat with her hair all in her face like it was.

"I-I don't t-think I w-want to swim anymore," she said shakily. To anyone else it had been a rather controlled incident but to her it had been a near death experience.

"Aw c'mon Tohru," Deidara laughed swimming over to where she was. "It's easy once you get the basics down, hn."

"If she doesn't want to she doesn't have to," Kakuzu snapped.

"Deidara would be a crappy teacher anyway," Kisame said. He hadn't been far behind Deidara, so he had walked in just in time to see him grab Tohru and jump into the pool. He couldn't imagine how someone would _not_ know how to swim, but he decided in that moment that it was his obligation to teach Tohru.

Kakuzu groaned, it was bad enough that Deidara was there with them, now so was Kisame which meant that Itachi wasn't far behind…and he was sure that Sasori would show up at some point as well. Today was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Dear god Tohru," Kisame grumbled, hoisting Tohru up by the bathing suit strap across her back. "For such a light girl you sink like a freaking rock."

"Where did Kakuzu say he was going again?" Tohru asked, giving a watery pleading look to Deidara. Kakuzu had said that he wanted to go check into something and then he had just left her…with _Kisame_…

Deidara grinned at her and shrugged. He felt he should have been 'rescuing' her but all of this was too damn funny to watch.

Kisame's way of teaching someone how to swim involved him pushing them into the deepest part of the pool and telling them to do what 'came naturally'. The only help he was offering her was him sitting on the edge of the pool and reaching into the water to pull Tohru up anytime she started to sink.

"Maybe we should just get her those little arm floaties hn," Deidara laughed.

"She'll get it eventually," Kisame replied.

"If you don't drown her first," Itachi snorted from his chair. His policy on swimming was very much the same as Kakuzu's, he didn't like to.

"I'm not going to drown her," Kisame bit out, turning to look at Itachi.

Tohru saw a window of opportunity as the two started to bicker over whether or not she was going to drown before she learned how to swim. She kicked and paddle her way over to the edge of the pool, using it to slowly draw herself away from Kisame. Once she was far enough away she pulled herself out of the pool, ran over quickly and shrugged on her robe before making her escape.

* * *

Kakuzu felt rather proud of himself. He had concocted a way to get Tohru away from everyone without locking her up in their room. Now he just needed to get back to the room, change and then steal Tohru away.

As he made his way down the hall he noticed Kisame coming towards him…with a woman thrown over his shoulder.

'_Was that really the only way for him to get a date?'_ he wondered as Kisame drew closer and closer.

"Hey," Kisame greeted casually.

Kakuzu snorted and shook his head. He could say so many things about kidnapping women but she didn't seem to be fighting so…he kept his mouth shut. If Kisame was occupied with a woman that meant that he wouldn't be occupied with bugging him and Tohru.

"Hello Kuzu-kun."

Kakuzu stopped and spun around. With the robe he hadn't been able to tell who Kisame was carrying but now looking at them from behind he could see that it was Tohru.

"Tohru?" he asked, following up behind Kisame.

"I guess I'm not done learning how to swim," Tohru laughed nervously. She had almost made it to their room when she had been grabbed by Kisame. She wiggled and strained, lifting herself up just enough to kind of look at Kakuzu.

"Help me," she mouthed, causing Kakuzu to laugh.

"Let me go change and then I'll come rescue you."

"Rescue?" Kisame said, stopping to turn and look at Kakuzu. "I'm teaching her a valuable skill; she doesn't need to be rescued."

* * *

_**AN:** _Thank you all so much for your reviews. ^_^

Chapter would have been out earlier but I had somehow got distracted with illustrating this blasted story rather than writing it… -_-

I almost cut this chapter short, ending it with Kakuzu and Tohru buuuuut it seemed like such a heavy chapter…I felt the need to end on a lighter note.

In other news, hubby is still refusing to let me cover him in stitches with a sharpie…might do it anyway while he's a asleep…or I'm painting him blue…or dying his hair orange…there's a sad lack of tall guys in Naruto so I only have so many options…maybe I just need to go find a shorter husband…but I think that would be a bit extreme.


	14. Chapter 14: If I Never Knew You

_Chapter 14: If I Never Knew You._

* * *

_**And I'm so grateful to you  
I'd have lived my whole life through  
Empty as the sky  
Never knowing why  
Lost forever  
If I never knew you**_

* * *

"Do they come off?" Tohru blurted. She was nervous and nothing was better than asking bizarre question to sooth ones nerves. Kakuzu had rented out one of the private springs that the resort offered and although she _was_ comfortable around him she was at a loss for what to do or say.

Kakuzu blinked a few times then shook his head. She had been sitting there, as far away from him as possible, just staring at him so he it wasn't like there was a previous statement that he had somehow missed. He had no idea as to what she could be talking about.

"Do what come off?" he asked in confusion.

"You're…er…" Tohru mumbled as she awkwardly motioned to her arms. His arms, she wanted to know if his arms came off, actually she wanted to know if everything that was stitched together had the ability of being dethatched. Most of his shirts were backless, so it wasn't like she hadn't noticed the numerous stitches covering his body but now he was sitting there completely shirtless and she had been a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of them. He even had them on his legs.

"My arms?" Kakuzu asked, still very confused.

"Yes," Tohgu nodded.

Kakuzu laughed, she was just _now_ getting curious about _why_ he was stitched together? This was going to be an interesting one to explain. He had assumed that if she _had_ any sort of questions about it she would have asked earlier on.

"Yes they can be detached if needed," he chuckled, choosing to be as direct as possible without giving too much information.

"Why?"

So much for not going into any details.

"Because," he said slowly, he really wasn't sure what to say.

'_If I need to stay in one spot but also strangle someone out of reach it comes in handy to have detachable limbs.' _

It was the truth but it would scare the hell out of her, if he was going to say something like that he might as well add…

'_And the stitches on my torso are there because I harvest the organs of strong shinobi, heh, that's why I stay so young.' _

Yeah, that was sure to go over _really_ well.

"So do they keep moving if they come off?" Tohru asked, staring at him with wide eyes.

"They can, yes…"

"But…"

"Tohru would you like me to just _show_ you?" Kakuzu asked.

"No," Tohru said quickly, she did _not_ want to see any part of Kakuzu fall off.

Kakuzu frowned, she was scared, he could tell by the look on her face. He needed to show her that it wasn't _that_ bad. He lifted one arm up out of the water and bit back a laugh when she jumbled a little. Slowly the threads on his forearm began to pull away.

Tohru wanted to close her eyes but morbid fascination kept them open. His forearm detached just a little, enough to reveal the countless black threads beneath his skin before returning back into place. She watched curiously as one thread came out and lopped its way through his skin, stitching it back together.

It was one of the most unusual things she had ever seen but it wasn't what she thought it would be. She had expected the appendage to simply fall off and plop into the water.

"What about the masks?" she asked suddenly. Might as well get all of her questions out of the way while they were on the subject.

Kakuzu took a deep breath. That question he wasn't willing to answer quite so truthfully so he knew he needed to come up with something close and believable.

"They're elements," he said, it was sort of close to the truth.

"Elements?"

"Has anyone ever explained elemental ninjutsu to you?"

"Sort of," Tohru replied. She knew the basic idea; he mother had once gone over it with her when she asked.

"Okay, well each of the masks contains an element, earth, fire, wind and lightning, which allows me to use those elements in my own ninjutsu."

"What happens if one gets cracked?"

"The element dies," Kakuzu replied.

"They're alive!" Tohru squeaked.

* * *

"At least the blue one stopped molesting the blonde one," Arisa whispered to Saki who only arched a brow over her book.

Saki didn't understand, Arisa said she wanted to go swimming but she hadn't gotten in the pool yet. Instead, she occupied her time with watching and listening to the three men there with them. Though they _were_ entertaining, well the two in the pool were, the other one was just sitting there, she wasn't going to openly watch them like Arisa…it was rude.

"I think it was more like attacking, not molesting," Saki whispered back.

"Well he squeals like a girl," Arisa smirked. "So it sounded like molesting."

"Yes they were in here a while ago hn," Deidara sighed loudly as he propped his elbows up on the side of the pool. The moment Sasori had walked in he knew exactly what he was going to ask, so might as well save him the trouble of asking.

"Where did they go?" Sasori asked.

"Kakuzu didn't say, he just took Tohru and left hn."

"Unless they're in the shared baths he most likely rented one of the private springs," Itachi said.

"What makes you think he would do something like that?" asked Sasori.

Itachi shrugged a little, it had seemed obvious, to him at least. "Kakuzu left Torhu in here for a little bit while he went to go check into something. When Tohru tried to escape Kisame's swimming lesson she said they had run into him in the hall and that he would be back once he changed, when he did finally return he was wearing a robe."

Sasori nodded, following Itachi's logic.

"Wait," Sasori chuckled. "What do you mean Torhu _tried_ to escape Kisame?"

"The moment she got an opening she bolted from the pool hn," Deidara snorted. "Kisame actually _carried_ her back, hn."

"It's important for her to know how to swim," Kisame snapped.

"That was _not_ teaching her how to swim hn," Deidara laughed, turning in the pool to look at Kisame. "I guess its better that Kakuzu ran off with her; I don't think Konan would have appreciated having our housekeeper drowned."

Saki was careful to hide her look of surprise behind her book; unfortunately Arisa wasn't doing the same. Her brows had instantly furrowed and her jaw dropped.

'_Kyoko's kid is the Akatsuki housekeeper?'_ Arisa wondered numbly. She had just assumed that she was seeing one of them, not working for them as well.

Sasori's eye's narrowed in on the two women sitting across the pool. They looked much too interested in their conversation. Deidara had said too much. There were a few select people that knew about Torhu's connection with the Akatsuki but those people usually worked very closely with Konan and could, without a doubt, be trusted. These two women though, what interest could they have in Tohru?

He wasn't above toying with their little housekeeper but she _was_ a friends and he _did_ care about her and her wellbeing. Tohru couldn't give any sort of information on the plans of the Akatsuki but she could give the location of their base, which did have the potential of putting her in danger.

It was rare that any enemy ninja ever infiltrated the village but that wasn't to say that it was impossible. Perhaps he was jumping to too many quick conclusions; they could just be surprised that the Akatsuki would actually have a housekeeper. Regardless, he wanted to make _sure_ that's what it was.

"Something interest you?" Sasori asked coldly, his eyes still locked onto the two women.

Both Deidara and Kisame gave a confused look to Saki and Arisa, unsure as to what Sasori could be talking about. Itachi on the other hand, had noticed their peaked interest the same moment Sasori had, and had wondered many of the same things.

"Uh, no…Sorry," Arisa fumbled.

Sasori's eye's narrowed further, she was hiding something.

Saki took a deep breath, thanks to Arisa they had gone from neutral waters to possibly dangerous ones. It was no use trying to cover up the fact that they had been listening to them.

"It's…unexpected," Saki said slowly as she set her book down. "To learn that our deceased sensei's daughter is working for you."

"Saki," Arisa hissed.

"You knew Tohru's mom hn?" Deidara asked.

"Yes, but we would appreciate if you didn't say anything to Tohru about it," Saki replied. "Her mother made us promise that we would never seek out Tohru after she died, but if we ever did cross her path…she asked that we not reveal our connection to her."

"How do you know we're talking about the same person?" Kisame asked, getting a little tense. It sounded like a load of crap.

"We saw her in the lobby yesterday with who I'm guessing is this Kakuzu guy," Arisa replied.

"So you've seen her before hn?"

"Not exactly…she's never met us."

"Then how do you know that…"

"I took a picture that Kyoko had on her when she died, Tohru's in it with her," Arisa said cutting off Deidara. She wasn't sure if Saki wanted to reveal her rather unique ability of reading peoples energy.

"Why didn't her mom want you two to look after her hn?" Deidara asked, starting to get a little incensed. He and Tohru had once talked about what had happened after her mother died, she had been alone and from the sounds of it miserable. He liked having Tohru around, yes, but if she could have had a more normal life…

"She wanted Tohru to have a normal life," Arisa said with a hollow laugh. "Weird huh? She wanted her little girl to be separated from the life of a ninja…Now we find that…"

Arisa trailed off and frowned as she shook her head.

"But if she's happy then…I suppose Kyoko would be happy as well," Saki said.

"She is happy hn," Deidara snapped, earning a weird look from Kisame and Sasori. "She's happy because she's not alone."

"And has people that quite obviously care for her," Saki added for him, her expression growing soft. It was comforting to know that Tohru wasn't just their housekeeper, she was a friend.

* * *

Kakuzu chuckled as Torhu tried peeking around him to look at the masks on his back again. He had finally coaxed her over to him and he had promptly pulled her onto his lap, it was after all his favorite place to have her.

"They're not alive in the sense that they are aware of anything," he laughed as he tugged a little on her hips, getting her to sit back down. He was glad that she had relaxed, now if he could just get her to stop scrutinizing his body.

"What happened here?" Kakuzu asked as he gently ran his thumb over a long, smooth scar that ran downwards over her right hip. He was hoping to distract her from asking anymore questions, and also it was a good excuse to touch her.

"I had to have my appendix removed when I was ten," Torhu replied, as she shifted a little to look down at the scar through the water. "It didn't go so well. I ended up getting an infection after the surgery so they had to open it back up, clean it and then they had to put a tube in to drain everything."

Her nose wrinkled a little at the memory, it had been a very unpleasant experience.

His thumb continued to work back and forth over the scar. She was so fragile. Even ninja were prone to infection but they didn't suffer from complications nearly as much as civilians.

Her skin wasn't perfect by any means, a freckle here, a little scar there but in comparison to the body of kunoichi she was incredibly soft. Her stomach was flat but not toned like he was accustomed to, her entire body wasn't what he was accustomed to actually. It wasn't a bad thing, just different.

His hand traveled higher, splaying out across her ribs and back down again. Bathing suits were wonderful creations he decided. To have so much access to bare skin he would have had to strip her down to her underwear and he doubted she would let him do that anytime soon. Yet she was wearing essentially the same thing as underwear but because it was a bathing suit it made it okay. He really didn't understand why it would make the situation any different but he didn't care, he was able to touch her and she didn't seem to mind.

Tohru squeaked in the back of her throat and arched away from Kakuzu's touch. His hands were rough and with how lightly he touched her it tickled. Kakuzu arched a brow and repeated the same motion that had caused her reaction. A small giggle broke from her lips as she arched further, trying to squirm away from him.

He grinned and held her in place with one hand while the other played against the skin of her side causing her to giggle louder.

"N-no," she laughed, squirming more as she tried getting away.

"Ticklish?" he chuckled.

"Yes," she said through her giggles. She tried pushing against his hand but it wouldn't budge.

"How ticklish?" he asked with a grin as he added more pressure.

"Very!" she squealed.

"Good to know," he said as he stopped, readjusting her to sit back more evenly on his lap.

Tohru smiled a little at him. It was weird how things worked out. If nothing had changed she would have gone on barely noticing that he was even there. He hadn't been a secluded person but he certainly hadn't been someone that she ever talked to. He had eaten most of his meals either in his room or long after everyone else had eaten, and on laundry day he would have his clothes or sheets piled up outside his door.

Her head tilted to one side as she continued to look at him. It was almost sad to think that if he hadn't taken an interest and put forth the effort she would have missed out on knowing him as a person.

She could feel her heart clench with an unsettling feeling. He was such an important piece to her life now, all the small unassuming moments had pieced themselves together and enveloped her whole. It hurt to even imagine things going back to how there were before.

'_I think I love you.' _

It had been so easy to say something so foolish to Sasori, now with Kakuzu though, the statement would be true but it only made it harder to say it.

'_That makes no sense Tohru. Why is it easier to say something false and harder to say something true…Because with Sasori I didn't understand the full implications of what love meant…I doubt I still fully understand. Mom used to say that she loved daddy with all her heart but she learned new ways to love him every day. Two people could spend a lifetime together and perhaps never fully grasp the depths of their love for each other…But even if you haven't grasped the full meaning does is mean that you shouldn't say anything at all?_

'_If I told him I liked him, it would be an understatement. To tell him I love him could be an overstatement…well perhaps not an overstatement but…what other word is there to use?...I love you but not as much as I'm sure I would twenty years from now…or next month…or week…or even tomorrow…'_

The meaning of such a statement could be ever changing. Love was perhaps the most versatile word there ever was…

"You okay?" Kakuzu asked gently as he smoothed his hands over her thighs soothingly. She had been smiling but then she got that far off look and a small frown had begun tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I love you."

The confession was simple, gentle, spoken so softly he couldn't be sure he had heard her correctly, yet it rocked him to his very core.

"What?" he asked around the lump steadily forming in his throat. He wanted to make sure he had heard her right and if he had… he wanted to hear her say it again. If she had indeed said she loved him he would be content to hear her repeat herself for the rest of the day, nothing else would need to be said.

"I love you," she said again. No hesitation, no second thoughts. Though worry ate away at her insides she didn't care. Even if he didn't return the sentiment, even if he thought she was saying it too soon…even if he didn't _want_ to hear her say it…she didn't care. It was true, it was right and he himself had asked her not to withhold anything from him.

"Say it again," he commanded with a small soft smile.

"I love you," she said with a smile of her own.

"Again," he murmured as he brushed his lips softly against hers.

"I love you."

* * *

"Don't look at me like that," Hidan grumbled as he wrapped the vacuum cord up quickly. "It's not like I _meant_ to do it."

Kyo glared from his position on top of the back of the couch as he tried licking smooth the patch of hair that Hidan had messed up by 'accidently' getting the vacuum hose too close.

Hidan laughed a little to himself remembering the moment the hose had made contact with the kitten. It really had been an accident but accident or not it had been funnier than shit to see Kyo trying to get away.

Konan had told him that if he made a mess he sure as hell better clean it up so Tohru didn't come back to a disaster area. A bag of chips later and a mess had indeed been made and Hidan, not wanting Konan bitching at him when she got back, had attempted to clean it up.

"If Tohru comes back to a messy base it's her own fucking fault for leaving," Hidan said to Kyo.

_Mew_

"Ah so you're now willing to talk to me again."

Hidan smirked. Tohru's kitten was on its way to becoming his. He had always liked cats; they weren't as dependant on affection as dogs were…or women.

"And besides," Hidan said as he picked up Kyo, holding him up to look at him. "I'm sure Kakuzu will be keeping her pretty busy so I doubt she'll notice if I permanently borrow you..."

_Mew_

"So it's agreed?"

_Mew_

"Good."

* * *

"So she was you're sensei?" Kisame asked as he pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the pool. Now that Deidara had stopped flipping out he was free to ask his own questions.

"Our sensei and then our team leader," Arisa replied. "How did Tohru end up with you guys?"

"We needed a housekeeper," Kisame shrugged. "Konan-sama just kind of showed up with her one night."

Kisame suddenly laughed, startling Arisa.

"I had been out on a mission actually, the night Itachi and I came back I think she scared us just as much as we scared her."

"But she was willing right?"

"Yeah."

Arisa nodded a little. Part of her had been worried that Tohru had been forced into working for them and she was suffering from Stockholm syndrome or something.

"What exactly happened to her mom?"

"We were sent out on a mission," Arisa said as she padded over to sit beside Kisame. "Everything went fine but on our way back we ran into a some enemy nin…"

"From which village?" Kisame broke in.

"Don't know, they weren't wearing headbands or if they were we didn't see them. The fight started out in our favor, one of them was already wounded but then everything took a turn for the worse. Kyoko went down and while our medic was trying to take care of her he had been attacked. We were able to get them out of there but he died and Kyoko…she knew she wouldn't make it back to the village, so she made us stop...just so…just so she could say her goodbyes and tell us not to let anyone tell Tohru about what happened…She didn't want her to be given any details about her death."

"You're team was pretty close then?" Kisame asked.

"Yeah," Arisa chuckled. "Kyoko was…she was my savior. When I was young I didn't really see eye to eye with my parents…so I left and started hanging around the wrong kind of people…doing things someone my age shouldn't have been doing…Once Kyoko found out about what was going on she set me straight and even helped me get away from them.

Anyway...So Tohru _is_ seeing that guy?"

"For about two weeks now."

"Is he…well is he a…uh…nice person?"

"Generally speaking no," Kisame laughed. "But he wouldn't ever harm Tohru, at least never intentionally."

"How old is he?" Arisa asked. "I mean… he looked a bit old to be dating someone her age."

Itachi, who had been listening in, snorted.

"Ah, well," Kisame laughed nervously. "Yeah I guess he is."

"He's ninety," Deidara said from across the pool.

"Ninety!" Arisa sputtered. "He can't be _that_ old!"

She had been thinking mid-twenties not pushing a hundred.

"How is that even possible!"

"Kakuzu is a…unique individual."

"He doesn't age?" Saki asked, breaking the silence she had kept since making her statement to Deidara.

"No?" Kisame said hesitantly.

"Hm…In that case I guess age doesn't matter," Saki said.

"Like hell," Arisa grumbled.

"It really doesn't though," Saki insisted calmly. "Even if Tohru was our age he would still be considerably older."

"Yes and it would still be wrong. If anything the younger the person the wronger it is."

"Wronger isn't a word," Saki pointed out.

* * *

It felt like electricity was steadily pumping throughout his body. He felt a little idiotic for letting himself reach such an elated state but it didn't matter. She said she loved him.

The bet hadn't once crossed his mind. No, the only thing on his mind was hearing her say it. It only added to the idiocy but he had made her say it so many times that eventually she just laughed when he would break away from her lips to ask her to say it again.

Tohru bit back a smile for fear of ruining their kiss. He had been acting downright goofy. Of all the scenarios she had envisioned she hadn't predicted this one. He had asked her to tell him she loved him more times than she had fingers and toes to count them on. Not that she really minded, but last time he had asked she couldn't help but laugh a little at the lopsided smile he had given her.

It didn't seem like he would be pulling away again so she allowed herself to settle more firmly against him, her arms coming up to loop around his neck.

His lips moved slowly and gently against her own. It was enjoyable but part of her longed for him to move further like he had the night before. Hesitantly her lips parted against his trying to draw him into a deeper kiss. He responded but only enough to match her.

He was giving her control over the situation; even she could figure that out. It was a little frustrating, her stomach fluttered at the idea of being in control but she wasn't sure what to do. She wanted him to take the lead again, allow her to follow rather than wallow in uncertainty.

Tohru groaned in irritation against his lips when he continued to do nothing. His hands remained carefully placed on her hips and their kiss continued to be tepid. The fact that he was doing it purposely only further aggravated her.

In her mind she quickly ran over the hundreds of different scenarios that she had read in Icha Icha at one point or another. Some things…many things actually, she knew she wouldn't be able to do without hyperventilating. _But_ it _had_ seemed like he had enjoyed when she had…

Her arms unwound themselves from his neck. She smoothed her hands down his shoulders and over his arms. The first time she had tried this her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of revenge but this time she resolved herself to concentrate on him, on his reactions. Her hands continued to move against his arms, stopping at each row of stitches to lightly trace her fingers over them.

She broke away from their kiss, pausing just a moment to lightly kiss his bottom lip, working her way across to the corner of his mouth which she felt twitch just slightly with an almost smile.

Her movements were still a little clumsy and hesitant as she kissed her way down his jaw but if Kakuzu cared he did show it. His fingers tensed against her hips when her mouth finally settled against his neck. It was different this time; she wasn't latching on and sucking for all she was worth, she was taking her time.

Nervousness still bubbled away inside Tohru but she fought to push the feeling aside. She tried to stop thinking about what she should be doing and allowed herself to simply do what came naturally.

Without her consent her tongue darted out to taste his skin. He tasted a little weird but she supposed it was probably due to the water. She didn't have much time to give it much thought though because something else called to her full attention. She felt a low rumble in his chest, reverberating up through his neck and against her lips.

Tohru wasn't sure how to classify the sound but regardless of what you could call it, it had been empowering and she wanted to hear him do it again. Becoming bolder she lightly bit him, her tongue flicking against the skin between her teeth.

She was rewarded with another deep and low groan that became lost somewhere in his throat, never fully making it past his lips.

Tohru smirked against his neck when his hands finally abandoned her hips, sluggishly moving up her sides and around her back, pulling her closer. Her breath hitched when one hand slid under the strap of her bathing suit. The movement caused a whole new wave of nervousness, but not because it was unwanted.

Kakuzu was stuck in an internal debate as the back of his hand slid against the little plastic hook of her bathing suit. He wanted to unclasp it, expose her completely to his touch but he didn't want to move too quickly. He would be happy to ravage her right then and there but he wasn't sure about what she was comfortable with, what her limits where.

A small, almost inaudible crack was heard, causing him to arch a brow and then…

_Snap_

Tohru pulled away from his as a startled cry tore from her lips. Kakuzu jumped a little himself, unsure as to what had just happened.

"Y-you didn't have to _break_ it," she said accusingly, her eye impossibly wide.

Kakuzu blinked in confusion but when her arms came up to quickly cross over her chest he realized what had happened. The plastic hook had snapped. He opened his mouth to quickly defend himself, tell her that he hadn't meant to and if anything it had broken because of Kisame. The stupid shark had been using the strap to repeatedly pull her out of the water and had most likely weakened and cracked the plastic. He _was_ going to tell her this but…

'_Is she upset about crossing boundaries, or just annoyed because she thinks I purposely broke her bathing suit?'_

If it was just about the bathing suit, he could get her a new one later and they could continue on, if it was about crossing boundaries he could blame Kisame. He just needed to figure out which one it was.

"We can go get you a new one later," he said evenly.

"They only had one like this that was in my size," she grumbled with a glare.

"I'm sure we can find something similar," he chuckled.

Tohru continued to glare but nodded a little.

"We could get changed and go now if you would like," he offered carefully.

The same inky tendrils that had taken over her body the night before had already begun waving through her again; they had been even before she had gotten into the water with him. They protested against his offer by tightening their hold on her, causing a number of things to flutter all at once. She didn't want it to stop yet, she knew she should but she didn't.

There was only so much they could _do_ while in the spring, Kakuzu would probably argue that you could do quite a lot actually but in _her_ mind it could only go so far.

"No…"

* * *

"So do those things work?" Arisa asked, pointing to the gills on Kisame's shoulders. She wasn't sure about the other two yet, or the red-head that would occasionally pop in but Kisame didn't seem too bad. He was rather intimidating looking but he was fairly nice and had a good sense of humor and was enjoyable to talk to.

"Or course they work," Kisame replied sinking a little further into the water. She was _studying_ him and he didn't like it. Looking the way he did he had to endure people constantly asking questions or in some cases just outright staring at him…she was doing both.

"It was just a question," Arisa said rolling her eyes at his self-consciousness.

"A stupid question," he sneered back.

"Hurt much if you bite your tongue?" she asked, catching a good glimpse of his teeth.

"Do you usually ask such rude questions?"

"Yes," Saki drawled out from behind her book.

"Bet that makes you a lot of friends."

"Hey!" Arisa sputtered.

"I'm the only one that has been able to thus far tolerate her," Saki smirked.

"Tolerate _me_! Arisa snapped. "Yeah well, I can't get _rid_ of you. She moved in as my roommate ten years ago and now she won't leave."

"You've never asked me to leave."

"I have so."

"Not anytime recently."

"Well I figured at my age I've lost my chances of getting married so you're the closest things I'll ever get to a sweet little housewife," Arisa grinned.

"You make it sound like you're in your fifties or something. At your age there's still a good chance of getting married," Saki sighed.

"Statistically speaking a woman over the age of thirty only has a twenty percent chance of getting married."

"You're not thirty yet and I'm pretty sure those statistics are wrong, if they're even real at all."

"I'm a year away from being thirty and they are real, I read it in a magazine."

"You can't believe everything you read in magazines."

Kisame glanced back and forth between the two women; an already weird conversation was getting weirder. He wasn't sure if he was free to go back to terrorizing Deidara or if he was still considered part of this discussion.

* * *

Kakuzu's eye's remained locked with hers as he gently pried her arms away from her chest. He offered her a small smile and then gripped her sides, pulling her back towards him. Though the one clasp around her back had been taken care of everything was still pretty well hid from view by her bathing suit because of the strap that was still looped around her neck. He wanted to remove it completely but he needed to get her relaxed again before he tried anything.

"Say it again," he said softly.

"I love you."

Another gentle smile then he was moving forward, pressing his lips to hers. He didn't waste any time before setting a demanding pace, pouring his desire, his thoughts, his emotions, everything he felt in that moment into that kiss.

One hand gripped her hip while the other worked up her spine until his fingers found the second clasp at the base of her neck. Careful not to accidentally pull her loose hair he began undoing the clasp.

The moment he pulled the pink and white material away she gasped. He took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, hoping to edge her away from any sort of maidenly modesty. His tongue delved past her lips, sweeping across hers, cajoling her to follow his lead.

The tactic worked, her arms twined around him. She was more concentrated on the fact that he was kissing his in a way he had yet to do before rather than the fact that she topless before him.

Kakuzu would feel her pulse racing just under the skin of anywhere he touched. There was a small tremble in her body which made him hesitate slightly. If she had any doubts he didn't want to continue. Nervousness was expected but doubt…he didn't want to ever be a regret to her.

He pulled away, breaking the kiss and rested his forehead against hers.

"Tohru," he said gently. "If you want to stop…we'll stop."

"No…It's just…I don't want to…you know..." she stammered. "In _here_…but I don't mind…well…I mean… if that…er…we could always…I guess…but that might ruin…uh…well…"

"You're babbling," Kakuzu chuckled. He sort of understood what she was saying. Not _here_, meaning that if he suggested going back to the room she probably wouldn't say no. The idea was tempting but something still held him back…he wanted her to be sure, at the moment hormones could be speaking for her. He needed to give her time so she could make a clear decision, one that wouldn't hold any regrets later.

* * *

"I'm hungry," Saki stated, looking at Arisa expectantly.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Arisa mumbled. "We'll head back to the room and then go and get something to eat."

Kisame tried not to watch her as she pulled herself out the water. She was an attractive woman, relatively tall, a smart-ass, and didn't seem to be bothered by how he looked…a rare find.

He frowned slightly; if stupid Deidara hadn't been there he would have perhaps asked if she might want to meet up again before they left tomorrow.

"Hey," Arisa smiled. "If you want you could join us."

"No," Kisame said gruffly out of reflex, mentally kicking himself instantly for turning her down.

"Well if you change your mind," she said as she shrugged on her robe. "We'll be in the little restaurant close to the main lobby."

Saki nodded a little in agreement.

"Might take us about forty-five minutes though."

And with that the two gathered the rest of their belongings and left. Everything went completely silent.

Kisame glanced towards Itachi, he looked bored but his eyes clearly said…

"You're an idiot hn," Deidara snorted.

"Why?" Kisame snapped.

Deidara rolled his eyes. "You're always complaining that girls around here are too short, she was like what…five-eight or so hn?…And if they happen to be tall enough for your liking you complain that they're too scared to talk openly with you hn…_She_ was a fucking motor-mouth hn. Hell, she was even pretty and what do you do hn?...She asks you out and you turn her down, therefore you are an idiot hn."

* * *

AN: Cheese and crackers people. I'm sorry this took so long my hubby has been sick and he takes priority.

So I got an interesting PM from the lovely KK1KK2 regarding my Akatsuki policy on my profile. Don't need to go into any details but one thing that did get brought up was this stories ending. My dear readers, there will be TWO endings. Some people prefer you don't screw anything up within the main Naruto storyline and for those of you that feel the same way the first 'ending' to the story will be Kakuzu and Hidan going after the two tails…and we all know how that ends. But for those of you who don't giving a flying…uh…fart…about screwing with things in the Naruto universe I'll be continuing the story with my own twists…

So yes…this baby is just getting started ^_^ and will go way beyond the bet.

LEMONS! Yes things have the potential to start getting lemony fresh.

_"But author, any good romance writer knows what you're supposed to build up sexual tension for a few hundred chapters and save the lemon for the end!"_

Sex is not the focus of my story and as such it will not be the climax of it.

Ah yes…and Kisame…side-romance…maybe…not promising anything…

Arisa and Saki: Yes I aged them up… Arisa's height, well she's listed as 5'6" at sixteen…soooo I figured full mature height would be around 5'8"


	15. Chapter 15: Never Let a Woman

_**Chapter 15: Never Let a Woman in Your Life**_

* * *

"_I find that the moment a woman makes friends with me she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious, and a damn nuisance. And I find that the moment I make friends with a woman I become selfish and tyrannical. So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so."_

* * *

"This is fucking stupid."

Itachi laughed a little to himself. Kisame had been saying that he didn't want to go, it was stupid to go, and he was wasting his time, for the past thirty minutes. Yet, he was still fussing over himself in the bathroom and showed no signs of _not_ going.

"Women are difficult," Kisame said harshly, popping his head out of the bathroom to glare at Itachi like _he_ was the one forcing him to go. In all actuality Itachi hadn't said anything. Kisame had stayed in the pool for a total of five minutes before quickly and suddenly leaving, Itachi had simply followed him. "Getting involved with one only brings trouble."

Itachi shook his head. With the way Kisame was acting one would think that she had told him she planned on marrying him and wished to have lunch because they needed to plan out the rest of their life together.

If she had extended the invitation to have lunch and made it clear that it would just be the two of them Itachi could perhaps understand Kisame's behavior but she had invited him to join her _and_ her friend. She was probably just being friendly.

"Well, she did say that she wasn't on speaking terms with her parents," Itachi said deciding it would be entertaining to play upon Kisame's insane and unfounded concerns. "So at least when you two get married you won't have to worry about insane in-laws."

"What!" Kisame yelped, his hands falling away from his hair as he was attempting to get it to stay up.

"She _did_ say that she was looking for husband before she hits thirty, you _are_ an impressive ninja, and in the age-range she would be looking for, making you and ideal _catch_."

Kisame pinned Itachi with a careful look. It wasn't like Itachi to joke around with him and he _did_ have excellent observation skills.

"I'm not going," Kisame croaked.

Itachi smirked; perchance he had gone too far. "Or maybe she was just being nice or thought she would be able to milk more information about Tohru out of you."

* * *

"Why are we doing this?" Saki asked as Arisa dried her hair.

"You said you were hungry."

"No," Saki sighed. "Not that, why did you invite a member of the _Akatsuki_ to go with us?"

"Wanted to hear more about Tohru," Arisa shrugged. "And he's sort of interesting to talk to, it's not often I find someone that isn't intimidated by me."

"If you weren't so brash people might feel more comfortable around you."

"Yeah well I don't like holding myself back, if I want to do something I'll do it, if something is on my mind, I say it. I don't like censoring myself just to make people feel better."

Saki nodded in understanding.

"Anyway…Having lunch with him isn't going to hurt anything."

"So it's just going to be a onetime thing?" Saki asked coyly.

"No I plan on wooing him and then later we can make weird little shark babies," Arisa snorted sarcastically.

"I'll be sure to invest in some earplugs then."

"Huh?" Arisa mumbled, her face twisting in confusion.

"Well he wouldn't be taking you to the Akatsuki headquarters," replied Saki. "So if you're going to be participating in _those_ sorts of activities it will have to be at _our_ apartment and if that's the case I don't want to _hear_ it."

"You're so strange," Arisa laughed.

"_And_ your best friend, so what does that say about you?"

"That I like strange people?"

"Ah, then Kisame has a pretty good chance doesn't he?"

"Will you lay off it already," Arisa sighed. "Information on Tohru, that's all I'm looking for."

* * *

Kakuzu leaned forward and skimmed his lips across her shoulder, smirking a little when Tohru shuddered.

"We don't have enough time to do everything I would want to do anyway," he said in a low voice.

Tohru was steadily forgetting how to breathe. There was something hypnotizing in the tone of his voice; she didn't want him to stop. He could talk about…_manatees_ for all she cared, just as long as he didn't stop.

"Like what?" she breathed. It was a bold question, one that she normally wouldn't have the will to ask. She knew exactly what he had meant, but the thought of hearing him _say_ it made the fire building inside her burn hotter.

"That will be up to you," he rasped against her shoulder after the surprise of her question wore away. He knew she wasn't _that_ naïve, actually as he was learning she wasn't very naïve at all. Just so she wouldn't have any doubt about what his intentions where if they continued later, his roaming hands settle once more on her hips. He gave his actions one more fleeting thought and then pulled her forward completely. He had been careful to keep her sitting at a safe distance but now there was no hiding the semi-hard erection under the thin fabric of his shorts.

A deep blush crossed Tohru's cheeks at the intimate contact but she didn't pull away. She waited for the shame of what was happening to wash over her but it never came. It should have, she told herself. She was sitting in his lap, her core pressed against his steadily hardening length, topless no less.

Or perhaps it was there, only drowned out by the inky heat coursing through her veins, pooling between her thighs.

He was telling the truth he said that they didn't have enough time to do everything he wanted to do at that moment. If he had gauged the amount of time they had been there correctly, and he was sure he had, it meant that they only had about twenty minutes before the hour was up. If he was going to do anything with her he was going to do it correctly, which would require a better setting and much more time.

For now though he wanted to ease her nervousness. If she became more comfortable with him touching her it would make his job easier later.

Kakuzu didn't say anything as he sat back, slouching a little lower against the edge of the bath. The new position served two purposes, first it gave him a nice view of Tohru and secondly it caused her to sit a little more firmly against him.

A wolfish grin spread across his lips as his eyes took in the sight before him. Her cheeks were still flushed, and her lips slightly parted. The nervous tremble had left body though a small bit of uncertainty still lingered behind her eyes. Then finally, _finally_ he allowed his gaze to travel lower.

He had felt like an ass for telling Sasori that Tohru was nothing more than a skinny little girl, implying that she lacked feminine curves. Now he felt like a blind idiot as well. She definitely wasn't lacking, each delicious curve, each dip; each swell…all suited her frame perfectly.

His hand traveled up her side, the stopped when his thumbs barely grazed the underside of her breasts.

_The bet_

His feelings for Tohru were true, the moment was _true_…but it was all derived from a lie. Trepidation washed over him. He had resolved _not_ to sleep with her because he didn't want to take something from her that she wouldn't be able to get back. Things had changed dramatically yes, but there was still the possibility that she would find out. Too many people knew and he still couldn't be sure about what Sasori had planned.

If she did find out and walked away from him as a result, he would let her go and not hold it against her. Though he would never outwardly admit it, he was sure that it would hurt but…

'_I can't do this. If she finds out it would be best if I didn't add to the damage it would do.'_

Kakuzu fought against the small voice in the back of his head telling him to come clean with her. He _couldn't_ tell her. At first he didn't want her to find out because it was all about the money and then, after realizing he might care for her, it was because his pride wouldn't let him willingly loose the bet and of course the money. Now…his pride, the money, even loosing the chance to keep Hidan from performing his stupid rituals…they didn't matter. _She_ mattered; he didn't want to _lose_ her. Fear kept him from telling her. He couldn't bring himself to tell her something that might cause her to hate him.

Even if there was a good chance that she would find out anyway, there was still a chance she _wouldn't_.

'_This needs to wait until all of this shit is over with…and then we cou…'_

Kakuzu's mind instantly went blank when he felt Tohru's small shaky hand slide over his, guiding it up to settle over her breast.

Tohru felt a jumble of emotions run through her, the two most prominent being desire and embarrassment, both caused by what she had just done. When his hands had started moving towards her breasts she hadn't been sure she wanted him to do what he was doing but then he _stopped_. The anticipation had nearly driven her to madness. She wasn't sure why or how but waiting for him to touch he was far more dizzying than him actually _doing_ it.

"Tohru," he murmured, his hand lingering long enough to reflexively stoke his thumb over her nipple, causing her to take in a sharp breath. He _wanted_ to do it again, he _wanted_ to see what other reactions he could get but he didn't continue. His hand moved up to gently rest against the junction of her neck and jaw. "You need to be sure, not just about this…but…"

'_I _want_ you but this won't be enough.'_

If they continued he knew there would be no stopping him later. So unless she randomly decided to go find Kisame or Sasori and told them she loved him, it _would_ still be a part of the bet.

There were too many conflicting emotions and feelings. Never was there a day that he had wished for some sort of distraction or interruption when it came to being with a woman, but now part of him desperately wanted something to stop them because he was losing his ability to do it himself.

"I'm not sure," Tohru said. "But I don't think you can be sure about something like…well like this."

"I don't want to be a regret," Kakuzu replied, she was being honest and he knew he needed to be as well.

"I don't think _you_ could ever _be_ a regret," said Tohru with a small smile.

"What if I did something terrible, something that made you hate me?"

"I would never _hate_ you. Even if things didn't …work out, I'm happy right now and nothing could ever change that. So…I guess what I'm saying is…I don't know…."

'_How can you regret a happy memory?'_

"I understand," Kakuzu chuckled. He had gotten so accustomed to her babbling that somewhere along the way he had started understanding her, even when she couldn't quite express herself cohesively.

"You're starting to turn into a prune," he smiled as grasped her wrist and lifted her hand up to inspect it. "And our time is almost up so we should probably get out."

Tohru frowned slightly. For someone who had instigated everything he sure was being difficult. It was like a rolling tide, a wave of eagerness followed by receding uncertainty. In short, he was confusing her.

Kakuzu smirked at her suddenly sullen demeanor and sat up, his arms coming around to cradle her against his chest. "I want you Tohru," he said, his cheek resting against her temple with his lips close to her ear. "But I want you to give some thought to what a physical relationship would entail."

* * *

"I really wish Rin would have joined us. It could have perhaps strengthened our bond with her as a team member."

Arisa blinked across the table at Saki then shook her head. "I still don't understand why she was put on our team. She's too young."

"Age doesn't have anything to do with team placement. She _is_ skilled; even you have to admit that."

"I'm not saying she isn't, but I think team members _should_ be close in age. It causes conflict when there's such a large gap."

"I wouldn't consider nine years a large gap."

"I do. You and I are a good team because we're also friends; we became friends because we had similar interests. I don't think we're going to get that with Rin."

"We became friends because I felt bad for you," Saki said, holding back a smirk.

"Nah, I think it was the other way around," Arisa laughed. "But anyway, I don't think shark-boy is going to show up."

"He's been standing outside for the last ten minutes," said Saki. Kisame's eclectic signals were very unique and thus easy to pinpoint.

"Do you think he thought we would wait before coming in and getting a table?" Arisa asked.

Saki shrugged.

Kisame groaned, he felt like a moron for just standing there but he still wasn't sure he wanted to go inside. He wouldn't admit it but he was a tad nervous. He kept telling himself that Arisa hadn't meant anything by asking him to lunch but it wasn't helping.

Steeling his resolve he turned away, bent on blowing them off. He only got a few steps before stopping and turning back.

'_No,'_ he told himself. _'I'm not going to run scared from two women.'_

* * *

Deidara sighed as he rounded the corner of a long hall. Sasori was, well actually he didn't _know_ where Sasori was. Kisame was off having lunch, with _two_ women. They were too old for him but it was still irritating that Kisame might score a chick before he was even able to find one worth perusing. It seemed like every woman there was either too old or was there with a significant other. He was beginning to wonder why he agreed to come along.

He supposed he could always go find Tohru but then he risked Kakuzu coming after him. He still wasn't sure about their little situation. There was an obvious change in Kakuzu and it was easy to tell that he really did care about her but he was playing a very stupid game. Between Kisame and Hidan it was inevitable for something to slip.

Deidara had made up his mind; he wasn't going to tell Tohru. He _did_ want to pull Kakuzu aside and point out he could possibly loose Tohru if he didn't tell her but the idea of trying to give Kakuzu relationship advice was unnerving.

"Screw Kakuzu hn," Deidara muttered.

He was bored and he was going to go track down Tohru, Kakuzu could just get over it. She was his friend long before they were in a relationship and she was _still_ his friend.

He made his way down the hall and down another leading into the main lobby. He paused a moment to laugh a little to himself when he spotted Kisame. He looked to be walking away from the restaurant that he was supposed to meeting the two women at but stopped and turned back, then walked inside.

Deidara rolled his eyes. Add women to the mix and even members of the Akatsuki could become cowards.

* * *

"Tohru?" Kakuzu called from the other side of the bathroom door. There was a long pause and then a muffled "Yeah?"

"The phone isn't working, so I'm going to the lobby."

"Okay."

Kakuzu frowned slightly as he heard the shower being turner on. He didn't like the idea of leaving her alone, especially if she was going to be in the shower. The front door would be difficult for someone to break into but the screens leading out to the deck were flimsy and the lock could be easily lifted by sliding something thin between the screens.

He glared slightly at the phone as he walked past it. If the damn thing was working he wouldn't have to worry about leaving her. He was tempted to wait until she finished her shower so he could just take her with him but he wanted to speak to the concierge about something other than just lunch.

With a heavy sigh and another fleeting glance towards the bathroom he pulled the door to their room open and stepped outside. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts as he walked down the hall that he almost missed the blonde walking towards him.

"Well that was easy hn," Deidara smirked.

"What are you doing here?" Kakuzu asked, returning his smirk with a glare.

"I was coming to find Tohru to see if she wanted to go date-crashing with me, and maybe get some lunch hn."

"Date crashing?"

"Some chick at the pool asked Kisame if he wanted to go to lunch with her and her friend hn. I'm sure it will prove to be a train-wreck hn."

"We're having lunch in our room so she won't be able to join you."

"Fine," Deidara scowled, brushing past Kakuzu. "Then I'm going to ask her if she wants to try swimming again later."

"So you know where our room is?" Kakuzu asked to the back of Deidara's head, smirking when he stopped.

Deidara frowned. No he didn't know where their room was. He had planned on walking the halls until he came across a big chakra signal but if Kakuzu wasn't going to be in the room it kind of ruined his strategy.

"I'm sure I'll be able to find it hn," Deidara huffed as he turned back to look at Kakuzu.

When one started a relationship with a woman they usually had to deal with her gaggle of girlfriends but Kakuzu was going to have to deal with…Deidara. Kakuzu groaned a little under his breath, part of him would have preferred the gaggle of girlfriends.

He was about to continue down the hall, letting Deidara carry on his futile search for their room, when a thought suddenly struck him. If Deidara was in the room, Tohru wouldn't be alone. He didn't like the idea of Deidara being in the room but he didn't like the idea of Tohru being alone even more.

"Thirty-two," Kakuzu grumbled as he began searching his pockets for his room-key.

"Huh?"

"Room thirty-two," Kakuzu sighed as he held the key out to Deidara. "She's in the shower right now so you'll need this."

* * *

Saki glanced back and forth between Kisame and Arisa as she hid a small smirk behind her hand. He hadn't even sat down before the insults and jibes had started and not just from Arisa. She knew Arisa's personality well, but she wasn't too sure about Kisame. Either he really wasn't fond of her or he shared her weird idea of flirting. If that was the case, then the two of them were getting along pretty well.

"Hmm," Arisa hummed dramatically as she skimmed over the menu. "I think I'll have the Mako shark steak."

"That's not even on the menu," Kisame snapped after running through the list of entrées in horror.

"It's not?" Arisa mused innocently.

"That's like me saying I would like to eat a woman for lunch," Kisame grumbled.

"With those teeth I'm pretty sure something would get nicked but I'm always up for trying new things," Arisa replied, a devilish grin spreading across her face.

It took a moment but Kisame eventually caught on to what she was insinuating. "Although I _do_ like fish I can't stand the _smell_," he replied with a sneer.

Arisa blinked back her surprise; she had to hand it to him that _had_ been a pretty good comeback.

"So do you guys paint your own nails or do you have little nail painting parties and do each other's?" Arisa asked, motioning to his hand. One spiteful comment disserved another in her opinion.

Kisame glared as his fingers curled inwards to hide his nails but he didn't say anything.

"Not going to tell me?" Arisa laughed. "Fine, a different subject then. Tell me about Tohru."

"Why?" Kisame asked warily.

"She's Kyoko's kid, I just want to know what she's like," she shrugged.

"Well," Kisame said slowly, not sure how to describe Tohru. "She's really kind, maybe a little too kind. She's a little clueless and clumsy. She talks to herself. She's a fan of that stupid Icha Icha series…"

"Wait, wait, wait," Arisa laughed. "She likes Icha Icha?"

"She goes ballistic whenever a new book or movie comes out."

"She a pervert?"

"No," Kisame snorted. "Just starved for romance I think."

* * *

"Deidara?" Tohru called out in confusion after hearing a very un-Kakuzu-like voice yell for her to hurry up.

"The one and only hn," Deidara laughed. He heard her say something else but he couldn't be sure what it had been. It was hard to hear her over the sound of water hitting the shower floor and whatever that dull humming was.

"Hey, is the shower glass frosted hn?" he called out. If their shower was anything like the one in his room the glass was frosted enough that he wouldn't see anything if he went in.

"Huh?"

"Is the shower glass frosted hn?" Deidara tried again, louder this time.

"Uh, yes?"

Deidara cracked the door open and peeked in, verifying that he would indeed not see anything. The glass was heavily frosted, making it difficult to make out any significant details of anything behind it.

"You take forever hn," Deidara commented as he opened the door completely and stepped in.

"Deidara!" Tohru shrieked.

"I can't see anything hn," he said as he pulled himself up to sit on the edge of sink.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, do you really think I would risk being in here when Kakuzu could come back at any moment if I could see anything hn?"

"How did you get into our room?"

"Well I was coming to find you to see if you wanted to come with me to crash Kisame's date, hn. I ran into Kakuzu in the hall and he gave me his key hn."

"Kisame has a date?" Tohru asked in surprise.

"A woman we ran into at the pool asked him to lunch hn, it might not be a real date but I thought it would be funny to see Kisame trying to interact with someone of the female variety hn."

"Why do you say that? Kisame can be very charming when he wants to be."

Deidara chuckled, he could hear the frown in her voice. No matter how much Kisame teased her or found new ways of pestering her while she worked around the base, she still always felt the need to adamantly defend him.

"If you say so hn, but I think you're the only one who would think that hn."

"Apparently not if she asked him to lunch," Tohru pointed out as she vigorously scrubbed her face. It was a little weird having Deidara in the bathroom with her but it wasn't the first time she had talked to him while showering. At the base, on a few occasions, he had invaded her room while she had been in the shower and would usually crack the door open so he could talk to her.

"Hn, well since we're not going to be crashing Kisame's date, did you want to go swimming after lunch?"

"Uh," Tohru flushed. She wouldn't mind going swimming but she still needed to either find a way to fix her top or get a new one. "I-I…I would like to b-but…well…um…I sort of…my top kind of broke."

"Broke?" Deidara repeated, arching a brow.

"When I was with Kakuzu…it…the clasp on the back snapped."

"Snapped on its own hn?" Deidara grinned. "Or snapped by Kakuzu?"

Silence.

"Kakuzu ripped your top off hn?" Deidara laughed.

"I-I don't think he meant to," Tohru stammered.

"So did you two…"

"No," she broke in, turning bright red.

"Holding off on _that_?" Deidara continued to laugh but when she didn't say anything it fell silent.

"Should I?" Tohru asked quietly. It was awkward to be talking to Deidara about sex but she really didn't have a whole lot of options. She wanted to talk to someone, and she trusted Deidara to be completely truthful.

"Was he trying to get you to do it hn?" Deidara asked tensely. She sounded so uncertain.

"No…I…I don't know…he was being confusing."

"What do you mean hn?"

"We were…well…doing…stuff…and it seemed like that's what he wanted to but then something would change and he would stop…but…I just don't know…"

"It doesn't matter what he wants, what do _you_ want hn?"

"Would it be wrong?"

"Why would it be wrong hn?"

"Aren't you supposed to wait longer, wouldn't it be moving too quickly?"

"There isn't some set time limit Tohru hn," Deidara chuckled. "You care about him right?"

"I love him."

Deidara felt his entire body tense at her softly spoken confession. Tohru wasn't the type to throw the word love around without it meaning something. It was a little surprising to hear her say it though.

"Have you told him that hn?" Deidara asked.

"Yes."

"What did he say hn?"

"He kept asking me to say it again," Tohru replied with a soft giggle.

Deidara's brows furrowed in thought. It was hard to imagine Kakuzu asking Tohru to tell him she loved him over and over again. Any doubts about Kakuzu's feeling for Tohru had quickly been washed away. If the bet was in the forefront on his mind he would have most likely found the nearest person involved in the bet and coaxed her into saying it where they would hear, rather than continuing trying to keep her to himself.

"Then why would it be wrong hn?"

"He kept pulling himself back, like it _was_ wrong and then he asked me to think about it."

'_So Tohru was the eager one and Kakuzu was the one who was uncertain?'_

Deidara couldn't help but laugh a little at that. "Of course he wants you to think about it hn. He doesn't want you to regret anything."

Tohru nodded a little even though Deidara couldn't see her, or at least see her clearly. "That's sort of what he said…but I really don't think I would."

"You need to tell him that then hn."

"I did," Tohru sighed, with a hint of exasperation.

"_Outside_ the heat of the moment hn. It's easy to agree to something when you're not thinking clearly hn."

Torhu blushed, though her opinions hadn't changed at all it had been easier to make them known 'in the heat of the moment'. She couldn't imagine herself sauntering up to Kakuzu and telling him she wanted him.

"I can't _do_ that!"

Deidara was about to open his mouth to respond when he heard a few small taps on the front door. He knew instantly that it had to be Kakuzu but he was left in a dilemma. He could either do some quick thinking and help both of them out, or let Tohru know that Kakuzu was back so she wouldn't say anything more.

"Hold on a second hn," Deidara said as he slid off the sink and padded out of the bathroom. He crossed the bedroom silently to the door and cracked it open. Before Kakuzu could say anything Deidara held his finger up to his lips and shook his head.

Kakuzu arched a brow but did as Deidara heeded and remained silent as he followed the blonde into the room. That silence was nearly broken though when Deidara wandered back towards the bathroom but motioned for him to stay out of sight as he stepped in.

"Thought I heard someone at the door hn," Deidara commented as he sat back on the sink

"Who was it?"

"No one was there hn." Deidara shrugged. "I must have been hearing things."

"Oh."

"So sleeping with him is something you _would_ want, and wouldn't regret hn?"

Kakuzu smirked a little as he stood outside the bathroom to the left of the door so he wouldn't be seen. Maybe Deidara wasn't _so_ bad.

"Yes," he heard Tohru say quietly.

"But you wouldn't be able to tell him that hn?"

"No."

"Why hn?"

"How do you bring something like that up?"

Kakuzu bit back a laugh; Tohru could be very odd but cute at times. Having heard enough to answer his question he turned back and walked to the door and knocked loudly on it.

"Probably Kakuzu, guess I'll let you finish you're shower in peace hn," Deidara chuckled.

"Smooth," Kakuzu said after Deidara had closed the door to the bathroom.

"I think that was disserving of a free lunch hn," Deidara said cocky smile.

"You can stay for lunch," Kakuzu sighed.

* * *

"Thanks for joining us," Arisa smiled awkwardly as she rocked back on her heels. "How long are you guys staying?"

"We're leaving tomorrow," Kisame replied.

Arisa nodded a little, "Yeah so are we. Maybe we'll run into you again before then."

"I'm kind of hard to miss, so more than likely," Kisame chuckled.

"I needed to go check into some things later," Saki said smoothly, causing Arisa to give her a weird look. The comment had been out of the blue, and Saki hadn't mentioned anything to her about needing to do something. "So I won't be here for dinner, unfortunately Arisa will be dining alone tonight," Saki sighed.

"Yeah, real unfortunate," Arisa said dryly. She had to hold herself back from smacking her. Truth be told she wouldn't mind spending more time with Kisame, but Saki didn't need to be so damn obvious.

"Maybe Kakuzu would let me take Tohru to dinner," Kisame said with a smirk. "If you came along you could ask all your questions directly to her."

"You'd have to throw Tohru into the mix to get me to have dinner with the likes of _you_," Arisa sneered leaning her face towards him.

"Don't flatter yourself," Kisame sneered back. "If I took you to dinner it would be out of pity."

"Pity?" Arisa snorted. "You wish shark-boy. You're lucky I can even stand to look at you."

Saki smiled as the two exchanged glares; yes they were getting along quite well.

"Six o'clock?" Arisa bit out as she pulled away from Kisame.

"Fine."

"Good."

Kisame watched as Arisa turned on her heel and marched away then stopped, turning enough to look back at him. "Hey, even if you can't get her to come with you…I'll still be here and I really don't appreciate being stood up."

* * *

"What?" Kakuzu grumbled as Deidara continued to stare at him. His look was a combination of a glare and mild confusion.

"Sasori told me about the bet hn," Deidara said in a low tone, he doubted Tohru would be able to hear him but he wanted to be safe.

"Oh?"

"Why are you continuing with it hn? You need to tell her hn."

"Why would I?"

"You'll lose her if she finds out."

"Then _why_ would I want to tell her?"

"It would be better if she heard it from you hn."

"She's not going to find out."

"She could hn."

"You gonna tell her?"

"No hn."

* * *

_AN: A still sick hubby…procrastination….and terrorizing furry fanatics… All of the above are reasons for this chapter being so late. _

_This chapter WAS going to have a lemon. Actually I wrote a good amount of it about 3k words…but I just didn't like it soooooo it was deleted and I started fresh. Maybe I put too much thought into people's motivations for having sex…I dunno…_

_Anywho. The next chapter WILL have a lemon, no maybe's… But again for those of you who aren't into that sort of thing I'll set it up so you don't have to read it. _

_Thank you all SO much for your reviews! I would love to thank all of you individually but I hate super long reviews sooooo. *Huggles you all*_

_I DO have DeviantArt account; you can find the link on my profile. Drop me a line if you have ideas or want to have any particular scenes illustrated! _


	16. Chapter 16: The thunder before lightning

__

_AN: This took way longer than it should have, but this chapter fought me tooth and nail the entire way. I wrote and re-wrote it more than I did the last one -_-… I really wasn't sure where I wanted to start, and then once I decided on that I wasn't where HOW I wanted to start. I'm sorry to you all who have been waiting for it, hopefully the next will be easier than this one._

_Just a warning, the majority of this chapter IS a lemon, and thus the reason why it was so tough to write. Like I've said in the past I have little or no common ground with a character like Tohru so writing her in this sort of … situation was incredibly difficult._

_I didn't want it to be full of generic romantic fluff…I wanted to bring a certain degree of realism to the table for this particular lemon. And maybe a tad bit of humor._

_For those of you who don't like lemons, I'm sorry that it took over so much of this chapter. I don't like saturating my stories with sex, but when it finally does come time for it I like to do it up big. There might be a little citrus thrown in later on in the story, but nothing of this magnitude (unless I decide to do one for Kisame and Arisa)_

_If you want to skip the lemon I'll let you know when it starts and ends._

_Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

**_Chapter 16: The thunder before lightning_**

* * *

**_Have you ever looked fear in the face_**  
**_And said I just don't care?_**

**_It's only half past the point of no return_**  
**_The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn_**  
**_The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase_**  
**_Have you ever felt this way?_**

* * *

Kakuzu continued giving a rather menacing look to Kisame as he explained how he had found their room and why he was currently standing just outside the door. Everything had been lining up perfectly. Lunch with Deidara had been rather pleasant actually; the kid had a weird sense of humor but he was much more entertaining that he normally gave the blonde credit for. After lunch Deidara had done some rather quick work with Tohru's bathing-suit, it was amazing what one could do with a safety pin, and the two had spent several hours at the pool. Kakuzu had opted out of swimming but he had stuck around to talk to and observe the two.

When they had gotten back to the room he had found that his earlier request to the concierge had been carried out, a double futon rather than to singles. Tohru of course had noticed the change in sleeping arrangement but hadn't said anything aside from a rather odd and strained noise before she had disappeared into the bathroom for another shower, mumbling something about chlorine turning your hair green.

After waiting about twenty-minutes he had once again tried seeing if the phone was working, which it wasn't. After that little discovery, he decided it would be a good time to go bitch someone out because of said phone and also notify the concierge that they would be staying another day. He quickly informed Tohru that he was going to step out for a few minutes and when he had opened the door to do so he had been greeted by the sight of Kisame simply standing there.

As Kisame continued to explain Kakuzu could feel everything begin to unravel. Kisame wanted Tohru to join him and the woman he had gone to lunch with for dinner. Kakuzu would have been quite happy to tell the stupid shark to forget it but as he continued to babble on it became apparent that this wasn't just any woman, this woman had known Tohru's mother.

Giving Tohru a chance to meet someone of such significance took precedence over everything he had planned but he was having trouble seeing it that way. Who knew what sort of mood Tohru could be in after such a meeting.

"Tonight?" Kakuzu groaned as he leaned up against the doorframe. It was selfish, he knew it, but he didn't like the idea of his plans being thrown askew.

"Already have plans?" Kisame asked.

"Sort of," Kakusu grumbled. It was true enough; he had quite a few plans actually and had already arranged for dinner to be brought to the room later on. It would be easy enough to cancel but it seemed like a good excuse to say no.

"Well if not tonight then maybe some time later in the week yeah?" Kisame said quickly before Kakuzu had a chance to say anything else. In Kakuzu's opinion Kisame looked like he preferred postponing dinner as well, though he couldn't imagine why.

"I don't think Tohru has any plans," Kakuzu shrugged. "I can ask her once she gets out of the shower or you can ask her back at the base later on."

"Yeah, I think that will work," Kisame smiled, slightly creeping Kakuzu out with how chipper he was acting.

In Kisame's mind Tohru not coming along meant that he could ask Arisa out once more without seeming like he actually wanted to see her after they had left the springs. It was the perfect opportunity.

"So what do you two have planned?" Kisame asked casually.

"Go away," Kakuzu deadpanned as he pulled himself away from the doorframe.

"Ah, well that can only mean one…" Kisame was cut off by an even fiercer look from Kakuzu.

"Now if you don't mind," Kakuzu said tightly, motion for Kisame to move away from the door before stepping outside their room.

"Going to escort me away from your room?" Kisame asked, his lips quirking into a small smile.

"No," Kakuzu grumbled. "I was on my way out. The damn phone isn't working and I needed to talk to the concierge about fixing it."

"Ah," Kisame nodded, torn between trying to talk to him or just ignoring the fact that they were walking in the same direction.

This was turning out to be one of the most drawn out showers Tohru had ever taken. It wasn't necessarily the longest but normally she wasn't thinking about how much time she was spending in it.

Kakuzu's intention had become quite clear after they had entered their room even though he hadn't said anything. The idea of sleeping with Kakuzu didn't really bother her; it was the awkwardness of the situation. In her books the women were always so seductive and everything just seemed to flow naturally but Tohru knew if she tried any of the things those women did she would surely die of embarrassment. So she was left to wonder what she should do. After her shower was she supposed to go out and pretend like she didn't notice the double futon, or would it be better to simply lie down and let Kakuzu take control of the situation.

Tohru's cheeks tinged pink as she gave a soft giggle at the idea. Either choice was sure to only add to the awkwardness.

Unable to continue simply standing in the shower Tohru reluctantly reached out and shut the water off. There was no point in prolonging the inevitable and she knew if she stayed in too long she risked the chance of Kakuzu coming in after her when he got back, and that was something she wasn't quite ready for. Not only that but she had also forgotten to bring a change of clothes so she knew she needed to retrieve something to wear before he got back or she would be left with only two options, either go out wearing nothing but a towel or a robe that was saturated with chlorine water.

As she wrapped the large fluffy towel around herself she ran over everything that she had brought with her and mentally kicked herself for not bringing anything 'frilly'. She had two pairs of rather frumpy pajamas, three pairs of normal everyday clothes, and the only underwear she had brought was rather dull.

She was definitely out of the shower Kakuzu noted, as he stood outside the door to their room, he could hear her inside rummaging around. He had no idea what he planned on doing but he was sure that everything would fall into place. Any thoughts of how he wanted to go about things were quickly eradicated from his head the moment he pushed the door to their room open.

He could see Tohru through the arch that led to the bedroom. She was kneeling in front of her open suitcase, in nothing but a towel.

"Tohru?" he said after stepping into the room and closing the door. He had to fight the grin that wanted to spread across his lips when she jumped slightly and nearly lost hold of her towel.

"K-kakuzu!" she shrieked, as she stood quickly to face him.

"I wasn't expecting to find you in just a towel but it is a rather pleasant surprise."

He was only teasing her but there was something else behind his words. Something in his tone that made her mouth go dry and her skin tingle. His voice sounded heavy, and suddenly she didn't care that she was standing there wearing nothing but a towel or that she was at a complete loss as to what to do.

"Want me to step out again, or turn around so you can go back to whatever you were doing?" he asked when she didn't say anything.

She knew what he was really asking and she knew her answer, it was just a matter of getting her voice to work properly again.

"No," she said at last.

"No?" Kakuzu repeated as he made his way towards her slowly.

"No," she repeated, cursing herself for the slight tremor in her voice. She wanted to look away, pull her eyes from his intense gaze but couldn't. It was all so overwhelming.

Kakuzu nodded slightly as he came to stand directly in front of her. There was no need to ask if she was sure, he would stop if she told him to but he wasn't going to ask her again. He held her gaze as he bent down enough to press his lips to hers. The kiss was tender and comforting but still held passion. At the moment he just needed her to relax.

After a few moments she did relax but their stance remained strained because of Tohru's refusal to let her towel go. When Kakuzu reached up to remedy the situation Tohru instantly froze and pulled away.

"C-can you turn off the light?" she mumbled. Night still hadn't fully fallen but with the constant cloud coverage it was always pretty dark outside and what little light there was would be blocked out by the screens.

"No," Kakuzu replied with a half-chuckle. Before she had time to object his lips were quickly over hers again. Rather than trying to pry the towel from her fingers he slowly parted it and slid his hands inside. She could hold onto the damn thing for as long as she wanted but it wasn't going to stop him from touching her.

_**(Start of Lemon)**_

* * *

A small sigh escaped from Tohru's lips as his hands slide across her stomach. She knew it was ridiculous to keep her white-knuckled grip on the towel. Everything that he hadn't already seen was now exposed more or less and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold onto it the entire time. Slowly her grip loosened and then she let go completely, allowing the towel to fall to the floor. Kakuzu was quick to take advantage of all the newly exposed flesh. His fingers teasingly worked their way up until they reached the underside of her breasts.

If it wasn't for the raging desire that was pumping through his veins he would have laughed. She was standing completely still with her arms held out to her side slightly, almost like she was nothing more than a doll, ready to be posed.

"Relax," he murmured against her ear.

"I-I am," she breathed tensely.

Kakuzu gave a hoarse chuckle as he moved his hands away to gently grasp her wrists, guiding her hands up so her arms were loosely draped over his shoulders. Once he was sure she wouldn't move he released her, his hands dropping down to her hips to pull her closer.

Tohru shyly looked up at him. His expression was one that she hadn't seen before. A gentle predator, it was such a contradiction but it was the only way she knew how to describe the way he looked in that moment. In his eyes was a promise that he would stop if she asked but wasn't going to hold back if she didn't.

She didn't object, she wouldn't object and upon fully understanding this Kakuzu allowed his careful control to snap. His mouth descended upon hers in a demanding kiss as he tugged at her hips, pressing her completely against him.

Tohru could feel her knees almost give way when his hardened length ground against her stomach through the material of his pants. She felt more than heard the low rumbled groan that reverberated through his chest at the intimate contact, a sound that caused moisture to begin pooling between her legs.

His large hands lost their gentle edge as they began to roam her body, though not enough to hurt her. Tohru could feel her breathing begin to pick up with each upward stroke of his hands. He would stop just below her breasts and then move away again, it was maddening.

"Kakuzu," she pleaded against his lips. "Please."

Kakuzu smirked slightly against her lips before his hands moved lower as he began curling himself around her, breaking their kiss in favor of dragging his lips down her neck and over her shoulder.

She was slightly confused as to what he was doing until one hand hooked around the back of her thigh, pulling her leg up to hook around his hips.

A small squeak escaped her lips when he proceeded to do the same with her other leg, completely lifting her up off the floor. He curled his arms under her to keep her steady then turned and began lowering them down onto the futon, all the while continuing his assault on her neck and shoulder. One hand moved out from under her to brace himself on his elbow before lowering her down completely.

Perhaps by accident or perhaps by instinct Tohru's hips arched up into his. A soft mew and a low groan was pulled from both of them. Vaguely Tohru was aware of the slight tremor that wracked through his body; he had enjoyed the contact just as much as she had. She liked the idea that she could draw as much pleasure from him as he did her so she repeated the motion. This time she was rewarded with another groan and a returning roll of his hips, grinding himself harder against her.

She could have sworn that the next breathless gasp carried her name somewhere in it but she couldn't be sure and she certainly wasn't going to ask him to clarify.

Toheru bit down hard on her lower lip, the feeling of him grinding against her was delicious, she wanted to cry out, she wanted to beg him for more…she needed more. But it was still relatively early in the evening and who knew how many people could be walking past their room at that very moment.

Kakuzu's lips began to move further down her shoulder and Tohru was sure she would end up biting a hole through her lip by the time this was over. She knew what he planned on doing but she couldn't completely wrap her mind around the idea of him actually doing. Involuntarily her back began to arch up and off the futon mattress in anticipation.

Then finally when his lips reached their destination and closed over her already taught nipple she cried out, her hands abandoning his shoulders to lace her fingers through his thick hair.

He sucked the budded flesh, alternating between gentle nips and soothing laps of his tongue.

"No," she whimpered when he pulled away suddenly. Kakuzu smirked slightly before descending upon her other nipple to give it the same treatment.

It was addicting to see Tohru coming undone like she was now, Kakuzu decided. As fun as it was to continue with what he was doing his pants were beginning to get extremely confining and uncomfortable. He didn't want to push things too quickly but he didn't want to linger in one place for too long either. It was a give and take situation, the longer her waited the more ready she would be which would make it more enjoyable for her but on the other hand the longer he waited the less control he would have.

Kakuzu shifted off Tohru slightly so he could maneuver a little better and chuckled when she gave another soft cry of protest at the lack of attention being paid to her breasts.

"I have something better in mind," he murmured as his free hand moved away from her hip, making its way to her heated core.

He could feel her shiver and stiffen slightly but she made no move to stop him. Tentatively he ran this thumb over her outer lips and groaned. She was already very wet.

Tohru swallowed back the soft whimpers and throaty groans that threatened to spill forward as she looked down the length of her body to watch him. He was barley touching her but it already felt far more amazing that anything she ever did herself, a strange notion that she would allow herself to think about at a later date.

Though she was heavily panting it felt like she couldn't breathe at all. In that breathless moment she watched as he gently parted her, his thumb sliding against her slick flesh to her clit. He gave one slow stroke and her world began to burn around her. It felt incredible and painful at the same time. It was too much.

Another stroke and her back bowed violently off the mattress.

"T-too much," she nearly sobbed as her hand fumbled down to cover his.

Her brain was too foggy to give much thought to her actions and she adjusted his thumb to press against the shaft of nerves under her skin just above her clit rather than directly against it.

At least she knew her own body well enough, Kakuzu inwardly mused, and if she was willing to show him what she liked it would make his job all the easier.

His thumb began to work in small tight circles and this time her response was much milder. He pulled his attention away from what he was doing to look at her. Her eyes had slid shut in pleasure but she was still biting her lip to keep herself from making any sound.

Kakuzu frowned slightly, he wanted to hear her. He didn't want her to hold back anything.

"Don't do that," he whispered hoarsely as he moved in to lightly skim his lips across her jaw.

"I want to hear you."

"B-but…"

"Tohru," Kakuzu nearly growled against her ear as his thumb moved down to tease her entrance, causing her to whimper and shudder under his touch. "Please."

"Hai," Tohru breathed.

Kakuzu pressed a chaste kiss against her earlobe and then sat up to kneel between her legs. Tohru gaped up at him and gave a few incoherent but definitely frustrated squeaks because he had stopped once again. She was about to demand and explanation but stopped short when he began tugging the dark shirt he was wearing up and over his head.

Tohru could feel heat rise to her cheeks, he was undressing.

Unsure as to what to do, Tohru looked away.

"You're a funny girl Tohru," Kakuzu chuckled. She was sprawled out, completely nude, before of him yet still felt the need to avert her eyes as he undressed.

"I-I-I just…I wasn't…I m-mean I don't…uh…" she stammered, slightly moving her legs away when she felt him blush against them as he tried to maneuver out of his pants as gracefully as he could.

"Are you trying to say that you want me to stop?" Kakuzu teased.

"No," Tohru replied quickly, turning her head back to look at him but instantly regretting it. He still wasn't completely out of his pants, actually he seemed to be having a little bit of difficulty removing them, but they were already well past his thighs. Tohru's eyes widened at the thick piece of flesh standing quite proudly for anyone to see.

The only naked man she had ever seen had been in a textbook, but he had been a drawing and he hadn't been quite so…happy.

Now that she was actually faced with a fully erect member she wasn't quite so sure that she wanted to continue. Now she understood why some of the women in her books cried their first time.

'No,' she told herself. 'They say it only hurts the first time, so I should just get it over with.'

Kakuzu, having won the battle with his pant, watch Tohru with a bemused expression. She was staring, rather intently, at his erection with her brows furrowed and her mouth set in a thin line. He knew the look well; it was her 'determined' expression.

"Tohru?" he asked as he gently ran his hands over her thighs.

"I'm ready," Tohru stated firmly, her eyes still locked south of the border.

"Okay," Kakuzu replied slowly, trying to think of a good way of going about calming her down.

Kakuzu moved forward causing Tohru to jump slightly.

"If you tell me what's wrong I might be able to help," Kakuzu murmured.

"It's going to hurt isn't it?" Tohru asked quietly, her gaze finally rising to meet his.

"It might at first," Kakuzu answered truthfully. "But I don't think it will be nearly as bad as you think it will be. We can stop if you want to though."

"No."

"You're sure?"

Tohru took a deep breath and nodded slightly.

"If it does start to hurt too much, just tell me okay?" Kakuzu said as he began lowering himself over her, keeping the majority of his weight on his elbows.

Tohru nodded again, she was beginning to feel too lightheaded to talk. This was really happening, she thought numbly as he loomed over her. He seemed so much larger than he normally did, just their height difference alone made all of it seem impossible.

"Trust me and just relax," he said before his lips closed over hers in a gentle kiss.

She could feel herself shivering uncontrollably but she tried her best to do as she was told, concentrating more on just returning the kiss than on what he was about to do. Kakuzu shifted slightly and Tohru had to fight the urge to move away or jump again.

And then she felt it; burning hot flesh sliding against her folds as he rolled his hips down to against hers in a smooth motion. His legs spread a little wider, instinctively trying to accommodate him better.

"Kakuzu," she murmured against his lips.

"Ready?" he asked, pulling away enough to look down at her.

"Yes."

Kakuzu inwardly wondered if he was ready himself as he reached between their bodies to position himself at her entrance. This wasn't like any other time where he could give less of a damn about his partner's satisfaction. Even if it was her first time he wanted it to be pleasurable for her.

With the head of his penis firmly nestled against her Kakuzu returned to his original position and tried pushing away any doubts he had about his ability to perform well.

"Relax," he said again as he pressed forward slowly.

Tohru tried to remain completely still. The intrusion felt odd and it did sting a little but it wasn't necessarily painful. But she knew from her books that he would eventually reach her 'barrier' and that he would have to 'break through it' and that was the most painful part.

She was too preoccupied with waiting for it to happen that she nearly missed the fact that he was almost completely inside. It wasn't until he finally came to a stop that she realized what was supposed to be the worst part was now over.

Kakuzu struggled to keep his breathing in check. She was impossibly tight. He wanted to continue watching her but it seemed too much to keep his eyes open, let alone keep his head up.

"It doesn't hurt," Tohru said, her tone bordering on energetic as she shifted just slightly to make sure that what she said was indeed true. "But I thought…I mean…wasn't something supposed to break?"

"Remind me to give you an anatomy lesson later," Kakuzu rasped. He wanted to laugh but couldn't find the breath to.

Slowly he pulled out just slightly and then just as slowly pressed forward again, setting a shallow and gentle rhythm.

It still stung a little for Tohru and felt completely alien but what little pain there was slowly began turning into a dull ache. It was odd, but she was more aroused by the sight of him above her and the idea of what they were doing than any actual feeling itself. She was almost disappointed at that idea until Kakuzu changed the angle of his thrust and pressed against something that made her inhale sharply.

Again and again he drove over the same spot and although it felt much better than it had before it still wasn't enough. She needed him harder, deeper but he continued his slow and shallow thrusts.

It was like being tortured.

"Ka-kuzu, I need…" she whimpered, her hips rising to meet his.

"What do you need Tohru?" Kakuzu rasped as her pressed open kisses against her clavicle. He knew exactly what she was trying to convey but he wanted to hear her say it.

"Harder…please."

Kakuzu smirked against her skin as he pulled out slowly then paused before surging forward, hard and fast. Tohru's back snapped off the futon as she gave an unconstrained cry of pleasure. It didn't matter who might hear her, she didn't care as long as he didn't stop.

She could feel each thrust throughout her body, like a heartbeat.

Now that he was sure he wasn't going to hurt her, Kakuzu allowed himself to let go completely.

He knew he wasn't going to last much longer, the sound of Tohru's cries and sobs of pleasure coupled with her tight heat was driving him dangerously close to the edge.

"Come for me Tohru," he grunted almost desperately.

Her breaths came in short quick pants and he could feel her tightening around his length. She was close but he wasn't sure if she was close enough. While keeping his weight on one elbow he moved his other hand down to where they were joined. His thumb barely grazed her clit, causing her hips to buck against his. In the heat of the moment he had nearly forgotten how she had adjusted his touch earlier but he was quick to correct himself.

"Ka-ku-zu," she cried out brokenly. It was like every muscle in her entire body was suddenly set aflame.

And then finally she felt the building tension break as wave after wave of please washed over her.

Kakuzu's entire frame jerked violently as he felt her contract around him rhythmically. For a moment her lost control of his hips as he continued to slam into her relentlessly, seeking out his own release. He curled himself around her, burying his face into her shoulder as his own climax hit him hard.

His hips continued to rock back and forth for a moment longer, drawing out their pleaser before he finally stopped.

* * *

**_(End Lemon)_**

Tohru was the first to speak after she regained control over her racing heart.

"You were right," she said, still slightly dazed.

"About?" Kakuzu chuckled as he pulled back to look at her.

"It's nothing like the movies."

"Is that a good or bad thing?"

"A good thing."

"You're an odd girl Tohru."

* * *

Itachi smirked a little as he watched Kisame from the corner of his eye. He was staring intently at the phone, as he had been for the last thirty minutes. Arisa had called a few minutes after Kisame had left to go find Kakuzu to inform him that she would be running a little late and would call when she was ready. Itachi wasn't sure how she had gotten the number to their room but wasn't going to question it.

The moment 6pm had rolled around Kisame had taken his post next to the phone and had yet to leave it.

"Worried she's going to stand you up?" Itachi asked.

"No," Kisame snapped. "She late and it's annoying. I should just blow her off."

"We both know that isn't going to happen," Itachi muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing. So what's so special about her?"

"There's nothing special about her. Like I said, she's annoying."

"No you said the fact that she was late was annoying. But if you think so little of her why bother going to dinner with her?"

"There's nothing better to do."

"Right," Itachi mumbled sarcastically.

Before Kisame had time to retort the shrill ring of the hotel phone cut him off.

"Answer it," Kisame said, giving Itachi an impatient look.

"I highly doubt that the call is for me," Itachi replied dryly.

"Just answer it and tell her that I already left because I was tired of waiting for her."

"That's not juvenile at all."

"Just do it," Kisame snapped.

Itachi sighed as he pulled himself up from his reclined position on the bed. He gave one more pointed look to Kisame and then begrudgingly picked up the phone.

"He's not here, he already left because he got sick of waiting around for you," Itachi drawled even before waiting for a response.

"He's standing right there isn't he?" Arisa replied.

"Yes."

"Okay well tell him I sound pissed off but I'll go meet him anyway."

"What did she say?" Kisame asked when Itachi set the phone back on the receiver without saying goodbye.

"She said to tell you that she sounds pissed off but will meet you down there anyway."

"…what?"

"Both of you are idiots."

* * *

Next chapter: Kisame's dinner date. :P Hope to see you all soon! (Jesus that was corny)


	17. Chapter 17: Something Unexpected

_AN: I have NO excuse for the tardiness of this chapter other than I developed a serious case of writers block._

* * *

_**Chapter 17: Something Unexpected. **_

* * *

_"Amnesty is as good for those who give it as for those who receive it. It has the admirable quality of bestowing mercy on both sides."_

* * *

Arisa drummed her gingers against the table as she stared across at the rather rigid looking shark.

'_More like a clam'_, Arisa mused with a lopsided smiled.

Either Kisame really didn't have anything to talk about or he was as uncomfortable as he looked. She had tried breaking the ice with idle chit-chat but with no luck.

'_Maybe it's the location; it _is_ rather awkward in here.' _

Indeed they were surrounded with love-struck looking couples and the pair seemed more than a little out of place. Since Tohru and her enigmatic companion weren't going to be there Arisa didn't see any reason to stay, at least in their present location. She had already decided that she wouldn't mind getting to know Kisame a little better but they weren't going to get very far if he continued to act like he had a gigantic stick shoved up his blue ass.

"Hey, how about we blow this joint," Arisa half laughed, half sighed. "I know of a bar that's not too far away from here."

"Bar?" Kisame repeated slowly. He and alcohol usually didn't mix well, he had a tendency to get overly emotional and at the same time violent. The last thing he needed was to end up spilling his whole life story, reveal his many insecurities and then finish the night up with a fight with whatever unlucky male that happened to be in close proximity to him. Part of him wanted to simply disappear back to his room.

It wasn't like he had never been on a date before, but since joining the Akatsuki his contact with women had severely diminished. In short, he had been out of the game for a quite a while and he had no idea what to do or say _and_ it wasn't even technically a real date.

"Yeah _baaar_," Arisa said, rolling her eyes. " Ya know, drinks, greasy food, music, drinks, a less stuffy atmosphere, drinks…"

"I don't drink," Kisame cut in. It was a lie but as far as she knew it could be true and that was all that mattered.

"Shame, a few drinks might do you good," Arisa muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Fine you can watch me drink."

"I would prefer…"

"_And_ it could ever be considered a third date, sort of. So you might get boob privileges," Arisa said with a bright smile.

Kisame could _feel_ several people's gaze suddenly fall on them. If she was going to say something so brash did she really need to say it so loudly?

Though… "Boob privileges" did sound promising.

* * *

"Kakuzu?" Tohru asked softly. He had fallen silent when dinner had been brought to their room. Currently he was relocating all the food that he had previously pushed to one side of this plate back to the other side. He had barely eaten anything at all.

"Hn?" Kakuzu hummed back. He was lost in his thoughts, very disconcerting thoughts. He had been worried that Torhu would be the one to regret taking their 'relationship' to a physical level but she seemed fine, he was the one that was left with serious regrets.

He kept telling himself that he shouldn't have allowed anything to go that far, he should have told her about the bet, allowed her to absorb the information fully and then waited to see where things went from there. As it stood now she was almost guaranteed to hate him.

He was beginning to feel nauseated.

"Kakuzu."

This time her voice had snapped him from his contemplations. She had moved around the low table and placed a gentle hand against his forearm, without him even realizing that she had moved. He glanced down at her and his heart sank at what he saw. She looked concerned; she was trying to comfort him. Comfort him… It was laughable but there was no humor.

She was trying to comfort him when he was the one hurting her, even if she didn't realize it. He didn't give much thought to what he did next, but in that moment everything broke.

"I made a bet," he said tearing his gaze from her. He couldn't look at her, he didn't want to see her face, he didn't want to see the hurt that he knew would be there.

"That I could make you say you loved me within thirty days. That was the whole reason for everything, that day that I took you to get that silly book of yours…the whole reason…"

To his own ears his voice sounded completely devoid of emotion, to his own ears he was making complete sense as he confessed everything but Tohru was hearing something very different.

Kakuzu was babbling, much in the same way she usually did when she was nervous. He didn't sound emotionless either; his voice was cracked, frayed at the edges. Under her hand, which still rested on his arm, she could feel him slightly shaking. Before her very eyes, Kakuzu was unraveling.

Initially when he began talking, her entire body had gone cold. A bet, something so ridiculous was the only reason why he was with her.

But he _was_ with her. Whatever had motivated him to begin with, most likely money, it didn't matter. He was there, now, looking more broken than she ever thought he could be.

She didn't _like_ the idea of being used but if…

"Kakuzu, do you love me?"

…if something good ultimately came from it then the end justified the means. Briefly, Tohru was reminded of her conversation with Konan when they had first met. Granted they had been talking about something entirely different but the concept was still the same.

"_Sometimes pain is required. It's like eating something really bitter knowing that you can have something sweet afterwards…in the end it will make it all the sweeter and the bitterness will be only a memory."_

Yes the concept was still the same.

Kakuzu had been so sure that she would scream, yell, cry, tell him she hated him, that he had tripped over his words almost choking on his own tongue when she had asked such a simple calmly spoken question.

Did he love her? Of course he loved her but getting his mouth to work was proving difficult.

He sat there, in stunned silence, completely frozen… and then hope set in.

"Yes," be breathed, the desperation that he had been feeling earlier bleeding into his voice.

Tohru didn't even have time to process what was happening before he moved suddenly, grabbing her, pulling her to him, clinging to her like she was the only thing anchoring him to the world.

He was slightly crushing her but she wasn't about to tell him to let go. It was obvious that this had been eating away at him.

There was one question that lingered in the back of her mind, who had he made the bet with? If it specifically concerned her, then it would have to be someone she knew, which meant someone in the Akatsuki.

'_Kisame or Hidan,' _she thought darkly. _'But Hidan has never seemed all that concerned with money…_Kisame_. Hrm, I may accidently forget to wash his bedding separately next time I do laundry.'_

Kakuzu's hold tightened slightly as he rested his cheek against the top of her head.

"Kuzu, I can't breathe," Tohru rasped.

* * *

"Aren't your feet cold?" Kisame asked as he glanced down at Arisa's bare feet. Walking about barefoot didn't seem very sanitary and the ground was cold and wet, he didn't know how she could stand it.

"Eh, a little," she shrugged. "But it's better than wearing those damn heels, they were killing my feet."

"Then why wear them in the first place?" Kisame chuckled.

"Ah well, they _do_ have their perks," Arisa smiled. The moment they had started walking to the bar, Kisame had started easing up. It was good to know it really was the location on not simply her company that had him so tense.

"For one thing, they make my ass and legs look _amazing_, and I think if you're trying to make a lasting impression on someone of the opposite sex, ass and legs are a good way of doing it."

"I should have worn heels," Kisame replied with as much seriousness as he could muster.

"Wanna borrow mine?" Arisa grinned. "I'm sure you would look stunning."

"I look stunning regardless of what I'm wearing."

"Or not wearing, I'm sure."

"Uh, where are we going exactly?" Kisame asked, he wasn't sure what to make of her statement so he was going to simply ignore it.

"We passed the turn we should have taken a while ago, so I figured we would go the long way around."

With a flash of irritation and a smidge of strange satisfaction Kisame realized she was purposely making him walk around with her. "What?" Kisame bit out perhaps a bit too harshly.

Arisa grinned.

"You seemed like you had your panties on a bit too tight, I was giving you a chance to mellow out a bit."

Kisame wanted to tell her that she was wrong but he knew she was right. Walking _had_ eased him into her company.

"Well how much further is the 'long way'?"

"Does it matter?" Arisa laughed. "Is there some sort of schedule we should be keeping? Will you turn into a pumpkin if I don't have you back by midnight?"

"Pumpkin?" Kisame mumbled, his face screwing up in confusion. Why the hell would he turn into a pumpkin if he wasn't back by midnight?

"Yeah…ya know, Cinderella and her magical carriage that would turn back into a pumpkin at midnight because…" Arisa trailed off as Kisame began giving her a look that clearly said 'you're insane'. "Argh, never mind. Haven't read many fairytales I'm guessing?"

"No."

"Hm, maybe that's what we'll do for our next date," Arisa mused.

"Read fairytales?" Kisame asked, unsure if she was being serious.

"Hah! So you do want to go on another date."

"I never said that," Kisame defended.

* * *

"Ow! Son of a whore!"

"Hidan?" Konan asked as she stood in the archways leading to the living room. Hidan had been making such a racket that she had gotten slightly concerned. At the moment he was lying flat on floor with one arm completely under the couch.

"Stupid cat won't leave me alone," Hidan snapped.

"Looks like you're pestering it more than it's pestering you," Konan laughed.

"I'm trying to get him out from under the couch."

"Why not just leave him there?"

"No," Hidan replied, his voice bordering on a pitiful whine. "If I ignore him then he goes after my feet."

'_In other words he's bored,'_ Konan inwardly sighed. _'And terrorizing a poor kitten is the only way to keep himself entertained.'_

"Everyone should be back tomorrow afternoon."

"They better be," Hidan grumbled.

"I didn't think you would miss them so much," Konan staggered. "How touching."

"I'm sick of eating re-heated leftovers," Hidan snapped irritably. "And I need to talk to Kakuzu about something."

'_Ah, Tohru and Kakuzu, the one who feeds him and does his laundry, and his ill-tempered mentor. He's like an overgrown kid missing his parents.' _

"I don't _fucking_ miss them."

'_An over grow kid with a foul mouth.'_

* * *

'_Maybe she just hasn't fully grasped everything I told her,'_ Kakuzu wondered as he continued to run his hands through Tohru's hair. _'…or maybe she's in shock.'_

He was extremely grateful that Tohru hadn't pushed him away, forever walking out of his life, but he expected _some_ sort of negative reaction. Aside from questioning him about _who_ had been involved in the bet the subject had essentially been dropped. It just didn't add up. He should be elated by the fact that all of it was behind him but his mind just wouldn't let it drop.

Something bad was still bound to happen, at least in Kakuzu's opinion. It couldn't be this easy.

Tohru had wanted to vent a little when the full truth of what Kakuzu had done hit her. His strange behavior when they first started 'dating' was now explained and she now understood why he had gone to such great lengths to con her into dates. She was more annoyed than angry though.

All feeling of annoyance had dissipated rather quickly. Initially she hadn't scolded him because he had looked so uncharacteristically fragile, she had been concerned about him. Now the only question on her mind was who _they_ were, he had distinctly said a _they_ were involved in the bet when she had begun questioning him.

"I _know_ Kisame was involved," Tohru mumbled into his chest. "I _know_ Deidara and Sasori wouldn't do something like that. I doubt Itachi or Hidan would get involved…so that leaves…Zetsu?"

Kakuzu couldn't help but chuckle. She was right about Kisame, wrong about Hidan, and _really_ wrong about Sasori. He preferred keeping the guilty parties uninvolved because he knew it might hurt Tohru if she knew Sasori had been pulling most of the strings for his own sick entertainment. He knew Kisame could most likely keep his mouth shut but Hidan would begin pointing fingers the moment he thought Tohru might stop doing his laundry and making his bed. For some insane reason clean, fresh sheets held some sort of significance to Hidan.

"Why does it matter?" Kakuzu asked.

"Because I want to _know_."

"And what would you do if I did tell you? Concoct some devious plan for revenge?"

Tohru remained silent.

Kakuzu had been joking but now he wasn't so sure. Tohru couldn't and wouldn't do any real harm to them but in her position she could definitely make their lives hell. He was left to wonder if she was already plotting something against _him_.

"So am I going to be on this list of revenge?" Kakuzu asked with a half-hearted smile. He hadn't directly asked her about how she felt, partially because he was afraid of what she might say.

"No," Tohru replied softly, pulling away from him enough to look at him. "I think you've tortured yourself over this more than I ever could."

It was a very Torhu-esque response but it still surprised Kakuzu.

"You're an odd girl Tohru," he murmured softly.

'_And far more than I disserve or have any right to ask for.' _

* * *

"Eh-heh-heh, that hurt like a mother," Arisa half laughed half winced as Kisame inspected her foot, which sported a nice little gash along the side.

"And this is the reason why shoes are of at least some importance," Kisame scolded.

They had finally made it to the bar and Kisame had stuck to his plan of not drinking but that hadn't stopped Arisa. She was quick to down anything that was placed in front of her and her volume and the brazenness of her remarks had increased dramatically. Not that Kisame minded, she was an entertaining drunk and what used to be subtle forms of flirting where now very obvious.

Midway through one of her drinks she had announced that she needed to go to the bathroom. He had tried getting her to put on her discarded shoes but she refused to listen. Several minutes later she had reemerged with several paper towels wrapped around her foot. The culprit responsible for her injury had apparently been a broken beer bottle.

"Psshft, if I had tried wearing those damn things," Arisa slurred, motioning to her shoes. "I would have ended up breaking an ankle, or worse."

"You'll be lucky if you don't catch some weird disease as a result of this."

Arisa snorted and then broke into a fit of laughter, something that confused Kisame greatly. "STD by broken bottle, that would suck. Would it still be an STD if the sex part isn't involved? Maybe I should say TD by broken bottle."

"Uh miss," The manager of the small bar said nervously. "Is there anything we can get you?"

The poor girl had been hovering around them since Arisa had exited the bathroom.

'_Probably worried about a lawsuit.' _Kisame mused.

"She'll be fine, it was her own fault for not wearing shoes," Kisame reassured the manager.

"Now let's get you back before you do anymore damage to youself," he said, his attention turning back to Arisa.

"Good idea," Arisa slurred.

* * *

Kisame adjusted his grip on Arisa legs, the material of her dress was making it extremely difficult to hold onto her. There was no way she would have been able to walk in those shoes and he wasn't going to let her walk around with a cut on her foot so he had opted to carry her on his back.

"I'm sorry," Arisa mumbled.

"Eh, you're heavy but not _that_ heavy," Kisame teased.

"Not about that, I drank more than I had intended and succeeded in making a total ass of myself."

"That's dangerous you know."

"Making an ass of myself?"

"No," Kisame chuckled. "Getting drunk around a man you barely know. For all you know, I could take you somewhere and take full advantage of your current state."

"You wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? You think you know me well enough to make that sort of judgment about my character?"

"You offered to carry me, and now you're lecturing me about the dangers of drinking around strange men. I think that says a lot about your character," Arisa retorted. "Speaking of character… this isn't the norm for me…I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not some sort of crazy drunk whore or anything."

"Ah, so I'm just a special case," said Kisame, trying to lighten her mood.

"I think you could be," Arisa mumbled.

"You're drunk."

"Yeah," Arisa agreed. "Drunk and being carried around by a sexy mutant fish-man."

"Shark."

* * *

"You okay?" Itachi question Kisame. He knew he hadn't been drinking last night, so he couldn't have a hangover but he was in one hell of a sour mood.

"I'm fine," Kisame replied as he glanced around the foyer for the millionth time.

"Did the date not go well?" Itachi prodded.

"It was fine."

Everything had been fine. He had gotten Arisa back to her room unscathed and the 'date' had been weird but he had enjoyed himself. It wasn't until they gathered their belongings and had gone to check out that he realized something. He knew her name, but nothing else. He didn't even have a last name. He hadn't even thought about how he was going to contact her. He told himself that the only reason he would _want_ to contact her would be for Tohru's benefit.

He had even gone so far as to go her room, but neither she nor Saki had been there. So unless he wanted to threaten one of the onsen staff members for personal information there was no way of finding her.

'_Figures,' _Kisame thought irritably.

Tall, beautiful, a little loud but that was alright and as she had made clear, multiple times while he had carried her back, she found him attractive…and now, she was nowhere to be seen and there was no way of contacting her.

* * *

"Can we go yet?" Arisa groaned, as she walked beside Saki. Not only did Saki insist on waking Arisa up far earlier than she needed to but after they had check out and had walked almost a fourth of the way back to their apartment Saki had remembered something she left in the room.

"It's your own fault for drinking so much."

"Shut up," Arisa hissed.

"Looks like your date is in the same boat you're in."

"Huh?"

Saki sighed and pointed to the front desk where a long ling line had formed and amidst the mass of people stood Kisame and Itachi.

"He didn't drink though," Arisa mumbled to herself.

"Have the rooms already been cleaned?" Saki asked to the concierge, ignoring Arisa.

Arisa would have walked over to say something, anything to Kisame but after last night she wasn't sure she wanted to. Unfortunately she hadn't drunk enough to erase the memories of last night, so she was well aware of everything that had happened and more importantly everything that had been said. She had made a fool out of herself. Leaving it at that, just walking away didn't sit well with her though.

'_Maybe…' _

"Can I borrow these?" Arisa asked as she pulled a pad of paper and a pen from the concierge's desk. She didn't wait for a response before she began scrawling something down.

* * *

Itachi's head tilted to one side as he watched a small paper airplane fly through the air on a direct collision course for Kisame's head. If it was an attack it was one of the weirdest attacks he had ever seen, so he remained silent.

When the piece of paper did finally make contact with Kisame's temple it fell to their feet. At first Kisame wasn't sure what had happened until he glanced down and saw the paper. He quickly stooped down and picked up, his dark eyes scanning the surrounding area, expecting to see some bratty kid. Instead he saw the retreating forms of Saki and Arisa following behind a staff member.

Slowly he opened the airplane and smirked at what saw.

"_Why so blue?"_

Her handwriting was atrocious but all of her contact information was written there under her little play on words.

"Smart-ass," Kisame chuckled.

* * *

AN: So there we are.

Initially I had something COMPLETELY different planned for when Tohru found out about the bet. WAY more drama but it just didn't fit. No matter how many times I ran it through my head, I couldn't see Tohru freaking out. So I tried writing those parts from a perspective of somehow who has exhibited an enormous amount of reasoning, compassion, and understanding…Everything that I personally see Tohru as.

Hopefully the next chapter will come a little easier :P because I'm far from finished ;)


	18. Chapter 18: Exploding birdies

_**AN: Surprised? So am I! I think my dry spell is finally over. Yay!**_

_**There is very mild citrus in this one, so mild I didn't bother to separate it ^_^**_

* * *

**_Chapter 18: Exploding birdies_**

* * *

"Where did you go?" Tohru mumbled sleepily as she tilted her head just enough to see Kakuzu setting his things down.

He had gotten up earlier and left without saying anything and Tohru had been dozing in and out of sleep ever since.

"Drug store," Kakuzu replied softly, he had hoped that he wouldn't wake her.

"Ah," Tohru yawned, her arms reaching out over her head in a long stretch. "…Wait…Drugstore, why?"

"Uh," Kakuzu faltered. He wasn't sure about how to go about giving her what he needed to give her and tell her what he needed to tell her.

Tohru watched as Kakuzu pulled out a pink box from his pocket and then dropped it on the pillow beside her.

"I was…reckless," Kakuzu said slowly, his brows pulled together so tightly that Torhu was sure it had to hurt. "And I didn't take any, uh, precautions…last night."

He needed to get away, desperately. There had to be something in the other room that needed his attentions, anything at all would do as long as he could make a hasty retreat.

Confused, Tohru reached out and took the small cardboard box. It took a few tries to fully grasp what he had given her.

'_Emergency contraceptive.'_

Tohru couldn't hold back the small laugh that escaped her lips. How was Kakuzu supposed to know that she was already on birth control? She could picture his face when he woke up that morning and realized he hadn't worn a condom. He certainly hadn't wasted any time in scurrying off to rectify the situation. As she had learned from their little adventure to get the things she needed for Kyo, the idea of children terrified Kakuzu.

"I don't need this," Tohru called out in amusement, prompting Kakuzu to return into her line of sight. He still looked terribly uncomfortable. A cruel but justified idea suddenly popped into Tohru's head. After the whole bet thing she deserved some sort of revenge.

"I don't believe in birth control," Tohru said, trying to keep a straight face. "It's against my religious beliefs."

Kakuzu blinked once, and then twice. _'Against her religious beliefs?'_

Tohru ducked her head under the comforter as if she was simply getting comfortable but in fact it was to hide the smile she just couldn't hold back at seeing Kakuzu's dumbstruck expression.

Kakuzu's brain began to go into overdrive. He couldn't _force_ her to take the pills but he certainly didn't want to risk getting her pregnant.

'_I suppose I could put one in her tea,' _he thought numbly. _'…but the pharmacist said she needed to take two of them…one as soon as possible and the other twelve hours later. So I would need to make sure that she has some tea before we go to bed…but what if she doesn't want tea?'_

He was beginning to panic.

Tohru peeked out from under the blanket and smiled. Perhaps she had gone too far, Kakuzu looked like he was about to keel over at any moment.

"I was kidding," Tohru giggled, fully reemerging from the comforter.

"So you'll take them?" Kakuzu asked uncertainly.

"No," Tohru chimed.

Kakuzu deflated.

"I don't think you can overdose on hormones but I'm pretty sure they would interfere with my normal birth control."

"Normal birth control?" Kakuzu repeated.

"Uh-huh."

"You're already on birth control?" He was so confused, if she wasn't already sexually active why would she need to be on birth control?

"Konan made me start taking them. I think she was concerned about how much time I was spending with Deidara."

* * *

If he didn't stop staring at him he was going to throw something at Kisame. The stupid shark had been _eyeing_ Deidara for the past thirty or so minutes and it was making him uncomfortable.

Maybe he could make a quick escape before Kisame did whatever he was planning on doing, say whatever he was thinking, or ask something of him. With the look Kisame was giving Deidara he was sure that it wasn't anything good.

Deidara stretched 'casually' and slowly started to lift himself off the couch.

"Hey Deidara."

'_Damn it!' _

"Yeah?" Deidara groaned.

"Those birds of yours, they don't _have_ to explode right?" Kisame asked.

"Hn, no?"

"And you can make them go to a specific location right?"

"Yes?"

"And then give something to someone," Kisame shifted uncomfortably. "Like a note or something, right?"

"I'm not going to send a note to your damn girlfriend hn," Deidara deadpanned.

"_Not_ my girlfriend and it's _not_ what you think," Kisame snapped. "She still hasn't met Tohru and she gave me her contact information so we could arrange a meeting, but we don't _have_ a phone and those birds are way more inconspicuous than anything I could think up for sending a note."

"She actually gave you her address hn?"

"Yeah why?"

"Well if I was her I'm not sure if I would trust someone like you with that sort of information hn," Deidara grinned.

"Deidara," Kisame warned.

"If you have her address why not just go there?" Deidara sighed.

"If you don't want to cooperate then fine, but this is for Tohru and I for one care enough about her to _trouble_ myself."

"Argh!" Deidara exclaimed as he stomped out of the living room.

"Is that a yes?" Kisame called after him.

"I hate you!" Deidara yelled back.

* * *

"What is it?"

"It flew in through the window; I don't know what it is."

"It looks like it's made out of clay."

Arisa and Saki stood side by side, staring down at the little clay bird perched upon their kitchen counter.

"It's holding a piece of paper," Arisa stated, looking at Saki expectantly.

"Why should I be the one to take it?" Saki scoffed.

"You have a quicker reaction time, so if it suddenly goes like… crazy or something…"

"Do you think it's some sort of new notification system?" Saki asked, her head tilting to one side.

"Might be," Arisa shrugged.

"That settles it," Saki smiled as she backed away from the bird. "You're team-leader so it's your job to go over mission information first."

"Chicken," Arisa grumbled as she reached out to take the mini-scroll from the birds' mouth. Before she had time to open the scroll through the 'bird' did something unusual, it puffed up a little and then went motionless.

Arisa backed away slowly, stopping when she was standing beside Saki once again.

"Hey, you don't think," Arisa started to say but was cut off by a sudden boom and a puff of smoke. Both women gave a startled cry, their arms coming up in protective positions.

Silence crept back into their tiny kitchen and their arms fell back down to their sides.

"…that it might self-destruct?" Saki whispered as she stared wide eyed at where the bird once sat. The explosion had been loud but didn't do as much damage as she thought it had, aside from the blackened circle on the counter surface.

"I don't think we're going to get our deposit back," Saki mumbled as she ran her finger over the counter. "No amount of buffing is going to fix this."

"The fuck are they thinking!" Arisa bellowed as she tore open the little scroll.

She had been angry before reading its contents but absolutely pissed after reading through it.

"That bastard!" Arisa screamed.

* * *

Kakuzu allowed his eyes to slide shut, a small smirk playing on his lips as Torhu continued to pluck at the strings attaching his forearm. She would pull gently at one, he would allow it to loosen, she would let go and then it would snap back into place.

It surprised him when she started plucking at them considering how horrified she had been yesterday when he had fully detached his forearm. When he first loosened one of them she had paused but hadn't been deterred. It was keeping her entertained and it allowed him to rest a bit.

He hadn't slept much the night before. It had been a long time since he had shared a bed with someone and it had taken a while to get comfortable. Once he finally did get comfortable and was able to fall asleep he had been rudely awoken by the two blocks of ice also known as Tohru's feet. No matter how many times he would move away her feet still found their way to his legs. As if that hadn't been enough sometime during the night the realization that he hadn't worn a condom during their earlier activities suddenly dawned on him. That thought alone had kept him up for the remainder of the night.

He wasn't even sure if he was still capable of getting someone pregnant, but it wasn't something he wanted to risk.

"So Konan was really that worried about you and Deidara?" Kakuzu chuckled once Tohru had finally gotten tired of playing with his stitches. He did find the idea humorous but at the same time it invoked a feeling that he couldn't quite place. He wasn't jealous, there was nothing to be jealous about, he knew that any feelings she had for the blond were now gone. Perhaps it was the notion that if he hadn't taken the bet and things had gone as before that Konan's fears would have eventually been vindicated. She had been on birth control specifically _for_ Deidara, it bothered him.

Tohru, who had been laying half on half off of Kakuzu hummed a little to herself as she moved to lie completely against his chest. It was going to be a lazy sort of day, they opted to leave the futon out and aside from getting up to eat breakfast they really hadn't moved off it.

She giggled a little and nodded. "Not getting jealous are we?"

"Nothing to be jealous about right?" Kakuzu asked, wanting one final bit of reassurance.

"No," Tohru smiled. "Deidara was just a crush. Honestly I think most of my infatuation with him stemmed from being turned down by Sasori."

Kakuzu's blood ran cold.

'_Sasori? What did that damn puppet have to do with anything?' _

"Turned down by Sasori?" Kakuzu asked, trying to laugh.

"Uh-huh," Tohru yawned. "When I was first brought to the base I didn't know Sasori was…well… not what he seemed. I thought he was around my same age and I sort of developed feelings for him."

Kakuzu wasn't sure what he should say to that. Just like Deidara it was in the past and obviously over but unlike Deidara he couldn't stand Sasori.

"Ah," Kakuzu said tightly. Tohru hadn't done anything wrong; there was no reason to be angry with her, he wasn't angry with her but if he didn't keep his tone in check he knew that she would think he was. "So I'm guessing you told him and he didn't reciprocate."

He should have let the subject drop. He knew he shouldn't have asked the question, no matter what he knew he wouldn't like the answer.

"It was a pretty weird conversation, I told him that I lov- mmph," she was cut off by an unexpected and rather forceful kiss.

Kakuzu knew what she had been about to say and he didn't want to hear her say it. _He_ was the only person she had ever said those words to, no one else, _especially_ not Sasori.

* * *

Sasori glared down at the puppet on his table. Everything was _not_ turning out the way it was supposed to. When they had gone to the hot-springs Kakuzu and Tohru were supposed to stay in locations where they could be easily observed but he had barely seen them. To make matters worse the two of them still hadn't arrived back at the base leading him to believe that they would be staying longer than he had anticipated.

That stupid ragdoll was ruining his fun. He couldn't even properly plan his next move because he wasn't absolutely certain of where he currently stood.

Sasori had probed Deidara for information but with no luck, the blond had kept his lips tightly sealed. Though the fact that Deidara refused to say anything at all did tell Sasori that there was something he _could_ have told him.

Even if Kakuzu did decide that continuing the bet wasn't worth it he really couldn't see him confessing to Tohru. There were two possible scenarios that Sasori held as the most possible. Either Tohru had told Kakuzu that she loved him or their relationship had taken a step forward.

"_I'll tell her about the bet,"_ Sasori thought darkly.

Kakuzu seemed to think that he could deter Sasori's involvement in all of this but if he told Tohru about the bet if would prove that he had always been pulling the strings.

* * *

The parts of Tohru's lips that weren't numb stung slightly. Kakuzu had never kissed her like that before, if she hadn't pried herself away she would have passed out from lack of oxygen.

The reasons for Kakuzu's sudden possessive action had eluded her until she began replaying the conversation before the kiss.

Things had changed between them and she knew that when they were alone she was able to see a side of Kakuzu that was rarely seen but that didn't change that he was still Kakuzu. He had one hell of a temper, he was reclusive and as she was learning, he was possessive.

She was not going to be a possession but she couldn't find the will to reprimand him for nearly kissing her lips off her face. When she had started to answer his question she hadn't given much thought to what she was saying. She had told Sasori she loved him but it hadn't meant anything, at least not seriously, now she just needed to find a way of conveying that to Kakuzu.

Smiling gently at him she moved her way further up his chest to place a small kiss against his lower lip. He was frowning ever so slightly still but the corners of his mouth did switch into an almost smile.

'_Show me that you're mine'_, his eyes beckoned to her.

Tohru would have been happy to oblige but she still hadn't taken a shower and she felt disgusting and extremely unsexy at the moment. It seemed a little pointless to take a shower right then especially since she knew she would end up taking another one if they did end up doing anything again but there was no way she was going to let him touch until she had one.

"I think I'm going to take a shower," Tohru mumbled as she began pulling herself off of him.

She didn't get very far until she felt herself being pulled back into place.

"Kakuzu," she grumbled, trying to pull away again. This time she felt not only his strong hands pulling her back, holding her in place but also something wrapping its way around her waist. Her eyes went wide as she glanced down to see what it was.

Several thick threads had broken free through the seams of his forearms and wrapped around her.

Kakuzu didn't say anything as he grinned up at her. Just like the night before he would stop if she told him to stop but inwardly he prayed she didn't. He hadn't ever used his technique like this before though he had considered what it would be like on a few occasions.

"B-but," Tohru mumbled, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks.

"Hm?" Kakuzu hummed as he pulled her up to straddle his stomach.

"I really s-should take a shower b-before…"

"Why?" Kakuzu cut in, his voice beginning to go hoarse.

"Because I haven't had one since…last night."

"And?"

"I'm sticky and I feel gross," Tohru mumbled.

Kakuzu grinned wickedly as more threads released themselves from various parts of his body. Tentatively at first, so as to gauge her reaction, they wound their way around her ankle, slowly moving up the pajama pants she had yet to change out of.

Neither of them said anything as the threads wound their way up and around her legs.

Tohru knew she should have been disgusted or disturbed, these things were coming out of his body for Kami sake, but she found herself feeling quite opposite. A shower was slowly becoming the last thing on her mind. She was nervous and excided at the same time, it was near impossible to anticipate what he was planning; this was something that certainly hadn't happened in her books.

'_I'm might get yelled at for this but…it could be worth it.' _Kakuzu mused.

There was a sudden surge of the threads that had worked their way under her pants, a small startled cry from Tohru, and then the sound of ripping cloth.

Tohru gaped down at Kakuzu as bits and pieces of her pants and even panties flew out around her. Most of the threads instantly receded back into his body but a few lingered around her waist as well as her ankles.

Her mouth fell open to say something but nothing came out. He had just ripped her pajama bottoms _and_ underwear off; she should have had _something_ to say about that. It was hard to think around the wild wonton thoughts now flying around her head, so actually talking was out of the question.

She knew that Kakuzu had held himself back last night, but she didn't know just how much. Desire pooled between her legs when her eyes finally focused on Kakuzu's face, he was eyeing her like a starving man looking at the piece of steak. She was at a loss for what to do next; he wasn't moving, at all.

"The top," Kakuzu rasped, startling Tohru.

"Huh?"

"Take the top off," Kakuzu elaborated. She hadn't yelled at him like he thought she would, actually she looked like she had enjoyed it as much as he had, so he decided to press his luck further.

Tohru hesitated a moment before tentatively pulling her pajama top up and over her head. She had to fight the urge to hide herself from his view but ultimately succeeded.

Kakuzu moved to sit up but was stopped short by a small hand pressed against his chest.

He had been giving her opportunity to take control and this time…this time Tohru _wanted_ that control.

* * *

Arisa stomped through a small crowd of people, her destination? Kisame. He was easy enough to find, he was exactly where he said he would be in that note. His back was turned to her and she hoped it remained so; her fist had a date with the back of his head.

With her fist raised she approached him but at the last moment she hesitated, deciding to go for his shoulder instead. She wanted him conscious while she chewed his ass out.

Kisame yelped and spun around, wondering who the hell would have the balls to assault him.

"What the fuck was _that_ for?" Kisame exclaimed when he saw who had hit him. It took a moment to recognize her; she was dressed in full uniform with her hair up in a high ponytail and her forehead protector securely in place.

'_Hope this isn't her weird way of greeting people,' _Kisame thought as he tried to reach around to rub his shoulder.

"Were you _trying_ to blow up our kitchen?" Arisa yelled.

"Huh, why would I want to blow up your kitchen?"

"I dunno, you tell me!"

'_Deidara. Damn it, I'm going to strangle that kid.'_

"What happened?" Kisame groaned.

"What happened! That- that stupid bird you sent blew up!"

"How bad?"

"You charred our countertop and _don't_ pretend like this is news to you. There is _no_ way you didn't know it would do that!"

"I didn't," Kisame replied defensively. "I had Deidara send the note because I didn't think you would want a freaking shark showing up to give you the damn thing."

Arisa faltered.

'_So…he didn't purposely try blowing up our kitchen?' _

She felt her anger toward Kisame deflate in an instant.

"Oh."

"Not going to ever get an 'I'm sorry?'", Kisame scoffed.

"I still have a charred countertop so, no. Should have picked someone more reliable to send a note, or you _could_ have just called."

"We don't have a phone."

"Are you seriously telling me that you have no access to a phone what so ever?"

Kisame paused. Konan did have one in her main office, which wasn't terribly far from the base.

'_I suppose I could have just…'_

Kisame's shoulders sagged.

"Yeah that's what I thought," Arisa grumbled, her arms coming up to cross over her chest.

"Would lunch make it up to you?" Kisame asked hopefully.

"Uh, can't…Saki was starting on lunch when I left and she sort of gets anal about me not showing up when I say I will."

"Dinner then?"

Arisa could hold back the small smile that formed on her lips. It was good to know that she hadn't scared him off last night; he didn't seem deterred at all.

"Maybe once I get back," she laughed.

"Where are you going?" Kisame asked, feeling a little disappointed.

"Eh well after the exploding birdie of doom paid us a visit we got a message telling us we had a mission and it would be best if we headed out later this afternoon. Actually once I was done here I was going to go get all the other information."

"When should you be back?"

"Not sure honestly," Arisa shrugged.

"Ah."

"Ya know," Arisa said slowly. "Saki does usually cook too much sooo if you wanted, I guess you could come over to our place for lunch. Who knows, maybe you'll have better luck buffing out the countertop than we did."

"So you plan on putting me to work?" Kisame laughed.

"You know it," Arisa winked.

Kisame, completely missing her alternate meaning nodded. "I guess it's the least that I owe you."

"So what is it that you needed to see me about?" Arisa asked as she started to walk, prompting Kisame to follow.

"Uh well, I just wanted to see what your plans were for the rest of the week…For uh…"

"You just wanted to see me again, admit it," Arisa teased.

"For _Tohru_," Kisame snapped.

* * *

"Uotani is here to see you."

"Go ahead and let her in," Konan said, not bothering to look up at her assistant. Carefully she began to sift through the papers on her desk trying to find the information she needed to give Arisa.

"Uotani, on time as usu…" Konan looked up and paused when she saw Kisame trailing in behind Arisa. "Usual…Kisame what are you doing here? Uhn, never mind wait outside and I'll be with you in a minute."

Kisame usually never came to her office unless he was specifically asked to or if something was happening at the base. The last time he had shown up unannounced had been when Kakuzu practically ripped his partners head…off.

"Unless it's something important," Konan said, trying not to sound frantic.

"Huh? I'm not here to see you," Kisame mumbled. He _should_ have waited outside; he didn't know what he was thinking by following Arisa in.

"Been following me around," Arisa sighed with a smirk. "I can't seem to get rid of him."

Konan glanced back and forth between the two as Kisame gave Arisa a pointed look, she wasn't sure of what to make of them.

"I'll be outside," Kisame glowered.

"You two know each other?" Konan asked once Kisame was out of her office.

"Sort-of," Arisa smiled but the smile soon faded. Konan was a member of the Akatsuki, it was reasonable to believe that she stayed at the same base Tohru did. She had known Kyoko, at least on some level. There was no way she didn't know that she was Tohru's mother… Arisa was sure that she had even mentioned how worried she was about Kyoko's kid once or twice, yet Konan hadn't said anything.

"We uh…we ran into each other at the hot spring," Arisa said slowly, not sure about how to go about this.

Konan nodded a little when Arisa began to shift uncomfortably. "I'm guessing you also saw Tohru?"

"Yeah…why didn't you ever mention anything I'm sure you knew…"

Konan had done a thorough background check on Tohru before she had been brought to the base, she knew who her mother had been.

"Tohru was and still is in an interesting situation," said Konan. "Not to mention I wanted to respect Kyoko's wishes. There were numerous notes within her record stating that she didn't want her daughter to be contacted in anyway by anyone she knew within the ninja community should anything happen to her."

"Because she didn't want her to have any part with anything or anyone that had to do with ninja but…I mean that obviously didn't work out so well," Arisa muttered, a little angered by Konan's silence on the whole thing.

"Tohru made her own decision to start working for us. I think even Kyoko would agree that she should be allowed to do as she wishes. And honestly she's much better off where she is now rather than where she was when I found her."

'_Well this is boring,'_ Kisame thought as he stared around at his surroundings. He was trying _not_ to listen to the conversation going on within the office; it was giving him a terrible guilt-trip.

Tohru's mom was dead, by the sound of it she had been barely scraping by, in order to avoid being completely alone she agreed to live and work for a group of criminals and yet still always had a smile. Rather than appreciate the fact that she was always so chipper he often teased her about it. Not only that but he had also agreed to use her in order to get money out of Kakuzu.

"Holy fuck you're a shitty person," Kisame said aloud.

"I'm s-sorry?" Konan's assistant stuttered, staring up at Kisame with a horrified expression.

"Not you," Kisame groaned.

With a sigh Kisame cracked the door to Konan's office open just enough to pop his head in. "Hey Arisa is it okay if I just meet up with you at your apartment, I need to go take care of something."

"Yeah sure," Arisa said with a confused expression. "Everything okay?"

"I might die but at least I'll die with a clear conscience," Kisame nodded solemnly.

* * *

"What happened to you?" Arisa laughed after pulling the door to her apartment open and saw Kisame.

"I lost a fight with a ragdoll," Kisame said miserably.

"Must have been one hell of a doll," Arisa snorted. It looked like Kisame was covered in what appeared to be rope-burn and bruises.

"You have no idea," Kisame cringed recalling what had just happened.

"_Kakuzu I _really_ need to talk to you!"Kisame yelled as he banged on the door to his and Tohru's room. _

"_Fuck off!" he heard Kakuzu roar from inside. _

"_No, I _really_ need to talk to you!"Kisame yelled back. He intended on telling Kakuzu to call the bet off, come clean with Tohru or he would…preferably before they did anything that would irreparably damage Tohru emotionally._

_There had been the sound of some things crashing around and then a moment later an irate and shirtless Kakuzu had appeared in the doorway. _

_Threads were already beginning to pour from his mouth as he screamed "I will _kill_ you!" _

_Kisame hadn't even had a chance to run before Kakuzu had ahold of him. _

Whatever Kisame had interrupted Kakuzu had deemed it "reasonable" to kill him for it. If Tohru hadn't shown up, wearing a bathrobe no less, he was sure Kakuzu would have succeeded.

'_Hopefully Tohru will pacify him before they go back to the base,'_ Kisame thought as he followed Arisa into her apartment. _'If not I might have to find a different place to live.'_


End file.
